"How long 'till Marianne gets back?" Jack asked, staring into his bowl with a bleak expression.
"Saturday." Ennis paused, spoon halfway to his mouth. "If'n my chili's not to your taste, friend, there's beans in the pantry," he said. Liz heard a current of sarcasm in the words, and the look Jack shot him let her know it was another joke between them that she wasn't in on.
"Thanks. The chili's just fine." He got up and brought the milk jug back to the table, refilling Liz's glass. "How long're you fixin' t'stay, Liz?"
"Well, I don't know," she said. "Seeing as it wasn't my idea in the first place."
Jack frowned. "It wasn't?" Ennis had become very interested in his chili. Jack set down the milk jug and put his hands on his hips, looking down at the top of Ennis's head. "What's she talkin' about, now?"
He shrugged. "Just seems t'me that if she's gonna write 'bout us, she ought to know what she's talking 'bout."
"So what, you kidnappin' this poor woman? Lockin' her in the guest room like the goddamn Black Hole of Calcutta?"
"I thought you'd be all for it! You're the one's all keen to tell her yer life story! Not that it'd make very interestin' readin'," Ennis muttered under his breath.
Jack sat back down. "Liz, you stay as long as you like, you leave when you like, and don't let Mister Paranoia here make you think you got to stay if'n you'd rather not."
"I'm happy to be here," Liz said, meaning it. The prospect of really getting inside their lives, both practical and emotional, was putting thoughts into her head. Some of those thoughts came under headings such as 'book deal' and 'Pulitzer.' "My paper's cleared it, I'm free to stay as long as you'll have me."
"For myself, I'm glad 'o the company," Jack said. "It gets kinda quiet about when your fella spends most evenins practicin' his cigar-store Indian impersonation." Ennis didn't react to this. He was probably accustomed to Jack's jibes at his expense.
"I'm thinking that I'd like to stay at least through the weekend, if that's all right," Liz said.
Ennis looked up. "Well, then you'll get to meet my daughter."
Liz felt a thrilled little shiver run up her spine. That would have been more than she could ever have hoped for. "Really?"
"Mm-hmm. My oldest, Junior, is coming out for a visit. I'm goin'a Burlington to pick her up on Friday night." She could see the excitement in his eyes.
"I'd love to meet her!" Liz exclaimed.
"Fair's this weekend, too," Jack said. "Just a dairy fair, but it's somethin' of a social event in town."
"Well, that settles it. I'll just have to stay through the weekend."
Liz helped clear the table. Once all the dishes were in the kitchen, Ennis shrugged into his jacket and put on his hat. "I oughta check that north fenceline again. Three mornin's runnin' we're findin' tracks and holes."
Jack joined Ennis near the back door, which led from the kitchen out to the porch and from there to the yard and the stables. This was clearly not a conversation meant for her, but she tried to listen in without being too obvious about it. "Are you takin' the rifle?" Jack asked.
"I'm takin' the shotgun."
"Take the rifle." She heard Ennis sigh at this suggestion. "Please, Ennis. Rory saw another one in his back forty last weekend."
"Damn rifle don't fit in my saddle, it bangs on my leg the whole way. Gives me fuckin' bruises."
"Better bruised than dead." Ennis still seemed undecided. "Humor me," Jack said.
Liz looked over her shoulder and saw Ennis nod, sparing a small smile. "All right, I'll take the rifle." He shook his head, then briefly laid his hand on the side of Jack's neck. "You old worrywart." He headed out the back door. "Back in an hour," he called back over his shoulder.
Jack stood there for a few beats, then joined her by the sink and dried while she washed. "What was that about?" she asked.
"Ennis's worried 'bout wolves getting' through the fenceline and in with the stock. I wanted him to take the rifle 'cause I'm worried 'bout bears. We been having a bit 'o trouble with 'em of late. Rory Duchamp…that's one of our neighbors, a dairyman…he seen one just last weekend out back 'o his place." Jack sighed. "I know it ain't too likely, but I got this awful fear 'o Ennis getting' mauled by some bear. Ain't it funny what our minds decide to make us scared of? I ain't scared 'o him gettin' sick, or bein' in a car accident, or getting' thrown from his horse. I'm just scared 'o him getting eaten by a bear." He chuckled. "Sounds so stupid to put it like that, don't it?"
Liz didn't think it sounded stupid at all. She wondered if it was significant that while Jack worried that Ennis would be attacked by an animal predator, Ennis worried that Jack would be attacked by a human one. "How often does Ennis's daughter visit?"
"As often as she can. Junior loves the ranch. I reckon she's out three or four times a year. It's just a good thing we can afford her plane tickets."
"You get along with her?"
"Oh, yeah. I'm real fond 'o Junior. She wasn't too sure 'bout me at first, but now we're just fine with each other. She adores Ennis, she and her sister both, and Junior's old enough so's she just wants him happy."
"What about her sister? She doesn't visit?"
"Francie's still in school, so she don't have as much time. And…well, she and Ennis tend to get in each other's faces. Francie's grown up a lot like her stepdad, and he is a nice enough guy but wound just 'bout as tight as any fella I've ever met. I know it eases Ennis's mind that Alma's married to a steady sort of a man. Lets him feel less guilty that she and Ennis didn't work out."
"How are things between them now?"
Jack sighed. "They get along all right. Much's can be expected, I guess. They don't see each other too often. Only when he goes back there, and he doesn't do that more'n once a year. But God, does she ever hate me."
"Really?"
"Looks at me like I'm some kinda child molester or lecherous freak what corrupted her man and ruined him for her." He shook his head. "Thing is, she ain't so wrong. Well, about the child molester part, yeah, but…I guess I did kinda ruin him for her."
Liz watched the bubbles in the soapy water merge and break, releasing tiny droplets and clearing the frothy surface so the dirty dishes showed through. "He didn't have to marry her, you know," she murmured.
"A'course he did. It was 1963. What was he s'posed to do? Tell her he wasn't goin' through with it 'cause he'd fallen for some guy he met on some mountain? I don't think so." He dried the last dish. "It was a different time. A closed time. It bein' closed hurt us, and not just us but Alma, and Junior and Francie, and Lureen and Bobby too."
"You don't seem to be hurtin' too much now, though."
"No. And I don't know what I did to deserve it." He smiled at her. "Well, you're sure gettin' plenty 'o material for that story 'o yours, aren't you?"
"If I'd known it'd be this easy, I'd have brought my typewriter along and gotten started writing."
"I never thought Ennis'd talk t'you as much's he has. I ain't never seen him do that. Hell, it took years till he really opened up to me, let alone no strangers." Liz sensed in Jack's tone an undercurrent of hurt that she'd accomplished so quickly what had taken him so much time and care. It occurred to her that she had it in her power to give Jack a small gift, without broaching the confidence Ennis had placed in her. She only hesitated a moment before going ahead.
"I did have a nice chat with Ennis this afternoon, when you went into town."
"Yeah?" Jack asked. She could tell he wanted to ask her what he'd said, but didn't want to be nosy.
"Yeah. He talked about Alma some, and about you."
Jack met her eyes, an ill-disguised insecurity lurking behind his. "And, uh…what'd he say 'bout me, then? You don't have to tell me, a course," he hastened to add. "I don't wanna bust in on his privacy, and all."
Liz smiled. "He told me that he loves you somethin' fierce."
Jack stared at her like he wasn't sure he'd heard right. "He said that?"
"Direct quote."
She saw a flush rise to his cheeks and a smile to his lips, then he looked away and cleared his throat. "Damn," he murmured. He swept his fingers quickly over his eyes. "Be nice if'n he'd say that to me now'n again."
Jack watched Ennis getting ready for bed. Somethin' fierce he heard Liz say in his head, and he felt the same warmth blooming in his chest that he'd felt the first time. He had to take his moments of reassurance where he could get them, because Ennis could be stingy.
He stood up as Ennis came out of the attached bathroom, teeth brushed and yawning. He met him halfway to the bed and wrapped his arms around him, cutting off the yawn with his own mouth. Ennis made a surprised noise, his hands settling on Jack's hips, and kissed him back a few times before pulling away. "You're mighty frisky tonight, rodeo," he said. "What's got your dander up?"
"Nothin'," Jack said, smiling as Ennis's arms went around his back. "Just havin' one 'o those moments."
Ennis raised a hand and stroked it over the side of Jack's face, resting it on his neck. "What kind 'o moment?"
"When I remember that I ain't dreamin'"
Ennis smiled at him, a lopsided, relaxed smile that went along with the look in his eyes, that look that said more than Ennis ever could himself, the one that Jack didn't get to see all that often . "If you ain't dreamin', then mayhap I am," he said. "'Cause you were always my best dream."
Jack pulled him close again and Ennis kissed him hard, his hands sliding down to Jack's ass as he pushed him backwards towards the bed. He laid him down and then joined him, pulling Jack's pajamas off while he shucked his own, and as Jack felt his warm skin against his own all he could think was he loves me somethin' fierce.
Liz woke up in one of Jack and Ennis's three guest rooms. They'd told her to take her pick, and she'd chosen this one with its homey crazy quilt and a big overstuffed reading chair with a lamp on the wall overhead. She didn't think she'd ever slept so well in her life. The mattress was covered in a thick featherbed that she sank into like a cradling snowdrift, and the heavy covers created a warm cocoon she could have stayed in all day.
Only one thing could have pulled her from her hibernation. She oozed out of bed, her warm toes flinching when they hit the cool hardwood floor (even though it was June, the nights could still get chilly here), and padded towards the bathroom.
As she passed Ennis and Jack's room, she could see that the door was halfway open. They probably aren't used to having other people in the house, she thought. But I won't look.
She looked, of course. She felt guilty, but that didn't stop her.
The gray morning light spilled in their window and fell across the bed where they both lay asleep. Ennis was on his back, one arm flung up by his head, bare to the waist. Jack was on his stomach, his head resting against Ennis's bicep, one arm and one leg thrown across him. As far as she could tell, they were both naked.
Liz smiled. It was a scene of quiet intimacy, and that had been lacking in the interactions she'd witnessed so far. She'd been in their company for almost a full day now, and aside from Ennis's brief hand on Jack's neck the night before, they were reserved with each other. They didn't engage in ordinary casual contact like other couples she knew…but that was hardly surprising. They were probably accustomed to keeping their distance out of fear of offending or angering someone. Surely they knew that they didn't have to exercise such caution in front of her , but habits were habits.
Liz's conscience poked at her that she was intruding on a private moment, and she cut her eyes away and went on into the bathroom. When she came out, she hurried past the open door and kept her eyes on the floor before her.
Ennis glanced at his watch. "Reckon I oughta roust her?" he asked. The thought made him very uncomfortable. What if she didn't respond when he knocked? Would he have to stick his head in? What if she had…parts…sticking out of the covers? He might drop dead of embarrassment right there. That'd make a good ending to her story. He could see the headline now. "Lady Writer Kills Rancher With Exposed Leg."
Jack brought over a plate of toast. "Give her a few minutes. Let her smell the coffee. That always wakes me up for sure."
Ennis watched Jack's face as he buttered his toast. He had a spot of blood up near his ear. Ennis licked his thumb and reached out to wipe it away. "Nicked yourself, bud," he said.
"Yeah." Jack brought his handkerchief to his face and blotted the spot. "Fuckin' dull razor."
Ennis felt a sudden rush of affection for him. He moved his hand down to rub at the juncture of Jack's neck and shoulder, one of his favorite spots. "I dunno what got into you last night," he murmured.
Jack winked at him. "Jus' you, cowboy."
"Sure made me work for it, though. You ain't done me like that since we was up at the lake this spring. I think I mighta pulled somethin'." Jack said nothing. "Seriously," Ennis said. "Why so energetic all of a sudden?"
Jack met his eyes. "I need a reason to wanna ring my man's bell good 'n hard?"
Ennis shrugged. "Naw, I guess not." He picked up his coffee mug and took a sip. It sure had felt like a little something extra last night, though. It had reminded him of the time he'd surprised Jack with a new mare he'd been admiring, but thought was too dear to buy. He'd grinned to watch Jack jump up and down like a kid, and then later that night Jack had practically wore him out with thanking him. He hadn't done anything to earn gratitude like that lately, so far as he knew.
Jack had the paper open now, his head propped on his elbow as he read the headlines. Ennis felt Jack's hand on his thigh, just resting there, comfortable like it was that hand's favorite spot. "I jus' love you, is all," Jack murmured, almost too quietly for him to hear, his eyes staying on the paper.
Ennis smiled, a happy spot of peace unfurling in his belly, and squeezed Jack's hand where it lay on his leg. He tried to think of something good to say back, but they heard Liz's bedroom door open and her shuffling footsteps approaching the kitchen, and quick as a wink Jack's hand was back on the tabletop. Ennis's leg felt cold with its absence.
Liz came into the kitchen, her blond hair all frizzy and crumpled around her head and her eyes half-shut with sleep. She was wearing flannel pajamas with little dogs printed all over them, and Ennis thought she looked just as cute as a little girl on Christmas morning. "Morning," she said, smiling sleepily.
"Well, well," Jack said, grinning. "Look who decided to get up today."
"It's only nine o'clock."
"That's a late hour on a ranch, Lizzie."
She looked up at Jack, taking a mug of coffee from Ennis. "No one calls me Lizzie," she said, but she didn't sound mad about it.
Jack shrugged. "Sorry, I didn't know."
"No, I like it!" She giggled. "I don't know why no one calls me that."
"Well, that c'n be your special ranch name, then," Ennis said. "Back in the city you c'n be Liz, high-powered writer'n such, but here you c'n just be Lizzie, flannel-wearin' ranch gal."
She looked from one to the other of them, her smile broadening, then shook her head. "Guys, be careful with me. Don't make me fall in love with you too much, nor this place, or I won't ever want to leave."
Liz stood with Ennis by the side of the corral, watching as Jack and Billy the groom worked with a new horse, who was proving a bit resistant to the ranching life. "Goddammit," Ennis muttered. "I told him time 'n again, that horse's sire was a mad beast 'n no good would ever come 'o any of his foals. But no, Mr. Twist just gotta have one so's he c'n prove that he's King Stud of all horsemen and then strut around town like a kid just popped his cherry braggin' 'bout how he broke him to the bridle." He shook his head, grumbling, and lit a cigarette, the first one she'd seen him smoke. He saw her watching him and looked a little sheepish. "I'm tryin' ta quit," he said. "Jack quit a year ago and he is after me somethin' awful. Says he can't stand the smell no more. Also says that if'n I come down with lung cancer when I'm sixty that he'll dump me off in some nursin' home 'cause it'll be my own damn fault." He snorted. "Nice, huh?"
Liz shrugged. "He's just trying to look after you."
"He oughta worry about himself a little now and…Jack!" he bellowed. "Watch the…" They both jumped back as the mare suddenly wheeled around, forcing Jack to literally throw himself to the ground to avoid her back legs. "Okay," Ennis said, stamping out his cigarette. "I watch much more 'o this I won't need the help 'o cigarettes to die young. C'mon, let's go out to the stables. Someone there y'might like t'meet."
They walked across the main compound, behind the house. "Did you build this house?" Liz asked, looking up at its handsome brick-and-timber rear façade.
"Most of it. Was a house here when we bought the place, but it was fallin' down. Good thing the foundation was solid. We thought of doin' the work ourselves, but neither of us is any kind 'o architect, and we were afraid 'o fuckin' it up, so we hired a builder." Liz pondered this, wondering just how much offense Ennis would take if she asked the logical follow-up. He spared her the trouble. "You're wonderin' where we got the money for all that, ain't you? Prob'ly too polite t'ask." He cast a glance back over his shoulder at the corral. "Oh, what the shit. Thing is, Jack's father-in-law hated him, and I do mean hated him. When Jack told ole L.D. he was leavin', L.D. wanted to make damn sure he'd stay gone. Gave him a heap 'o money. Jack was happy ta take it, but it didn't sit quite right by me. I don't like taking money from no man, but even I could see that me 'n Jack needed it bad if'n we was gonna make a go of it. So I swallowed my pride and went along." He smiled wryly. "And you know somethin'? We paid L.D. back every damned cent, with ten percent interest. And my, don't it just drive him crazy that his no-account son-in-law made it on his own and don't owe him nothin'! Not to mention that we put aside a lot of money for Bobby's college, which L.D. ain't never thought to do." Ennis laughed, and Liz could hear his pride in Jack in his voice.
They reached the stables, and Ennis led her to the last stall on the right, a larger one than the others and fitted with brighter lights. A man in jeans and a rugged flannel shirt was there with a horse, a tall gray mare. "Lizzie, this is Paul McGill, he's the local vet. Doc, this is Liz Forbes. She's a reporter from New York."
The veterinarian shook Liz's hand with a smile. He was bookish and rugged at the same time, somehow, and looked about 35. "Nice to meet you, Ms. Forbes," he said. He looked at Ennis. "A reporter? You win the lottery or something?"
"Naw. She's up here…uh…well, she came up to write about Bill, then decided she'd like to get a taste of ranching life."
Liz wasn't about to let him get away with that. "I'm writing a story about Ennis and Jack, and what it's like for two men running a ranch together in the country."
"Oh, I see," Paul said, grinning. "Well, Ennis, be sure'n tell her all about the time Jack got drunk and punched your lights out at the Labor Day picnic. That'll paint a nice rosy picture of rural life." He turned back to the horse, chuckling. Ennis looked mortified.
"Thanks, Doc," he said, through gritted teeth. He stepped closer and stroked the mare's neck. "How's my best girl?" he asked, his voice soft. The mare nickered and pressed her snout into his hand.
The vet straightened up, all joking set aside. "Ennis…I'm damn sorry, but her leg is bad. It's a stress fracture, and it's inflamed now. I'm afraid it's going to get infected." Ennis said nothing, just kept stroking the mare's neck. Liz was getting a cold feeling in her stomach. "I can put her down, if you don't want to do it."
"No," Ennis said. "I ain't puttin' her down."
"Her leg'll never be the same…"
"I don't care, Doc. I ain't puttin' her down." Liz was surprised to see Ennis blinking back tears. "She's my daughter's favorite horse, and I cain't make that kinda call without talkin' to her. She's comin' up this weekend. You just heal her up as best you can, and leave the rest to me, okay?"
Dr. McGill sighed. "Okay, if that's what you want."
Liz watched as the doctor set the mare's leg, applying some herby-smelling poultices and wrapping it tightly. He straighened up and picked up his bag. "I'll come by day after tomorrow and check on her."
They walked out of the stable. "Wanna stay for lunch then, Doc?" Ennis asked.
"Can't. I gotta go over to Myron's. His pigs are having some…well, digestive troubles."
Ennis chuckled. "Wear a rain slicker."
"Yeah." They'd reached the dooryard. The vet stopped and faced her. "Nice to meet you, Ms. Forbes. Good luck on your story. I'll hope to see you at the fair this weekend. You can meet Roger, my partner." He grinned at her surprised expression, then shook Ennis's hand. "Say hi to Jack."
"Will do. See ya, Doc."
Liz waited until the doctor had gotten into his truck and drove off towards the road before turning on Ennis. "Ennis! Why didn't you tell me he was gay?"
He shrugged. "Doc? He ain't gay."
"But…he just said…his partner, Roger!"
"Oh, yeah. They moved up from Boston 'bout three years back so's Paul could take over old Doc Robicheaux's practice. Roger's a lawyer. Real nice fella. Helped us with some trouble we had with one of our distributors. But they ain't queer, or nothin'. They're like me 'n Jack. Regular folks."
Liz crossed her arms over her chest, peering at Ennis with burgeoning comprehension. "Ennis…what do you think of when you think of a gay man?"
"I try not to, Lizzie."
"Answer the question."
He shuffled his feet, shoving his hands in his pockets. "Aw, you know. Wearin' makeup, and sparkly clothes, and….talkin' all girly…dammit, you know what I mean! Sissies!"
Liz had so many things to say she couldn't think where to start. "You do know that not all gay men are like that, don't you? Look at yourself, for crying out loud!"
"Dammit, why's it all gotta be about what to call folks?" he exclaimed. "Why you gotta put a damned label on everbody? When we was married to women we was straight, but now we're with each other we're gay or queer or homosexual or whatever. Why's it gotta be like that? Ain't it enough just to say that I'm spendin' my life with Jack 'cause he's my fella and I chose him, and all that means is just exactly that! Why's it gotta mean that now I fit in some box with a bunch of other fellas that I got nothin' else in common with 'cept that we all share our beds with men?"
Liz sighed. "That's a real good question, Ennis. But I'm starting to see that while I'm writing this story to challenge people's preconceptions, you've got quite a few of your own, don't you?"
Ennis looked tired, as if his outburst had exhausted him. "Everybody makes up their minds too quick 'bout other folks. I guess I ain't no different."
"Maybe once my ranch holiday is over, you and Jack might consider coming with me on a little trip to the city."
"The city…what, New York?"
"You ever been there?"
"I go to Burlington once a month, that's all the city I care to see."
Liz grinned. "You're giving me evil ideas, Ennis Del Mar."
"Yeah, I c'n tell. The look on your face is makin' me want to run for the hills."