If someone had ever told Jack Twist that he'd be ecstatic to be doing bookkeeping and accounting, he'd've told them they were crazy. But here he was, grinning like a fool over the ranch's books and ledgers and humming a tune that had no melody and only one line of lyrics, all the words of which were "Fuck You, L.D. Newsome."
Ennis came in and leaned hipshot in the doorway, arms crossed, wearing that sideways grin that always did Jack right in. "What's the news, rodeo?"
Jack's grin spread wider. "Friend, the news is damned fine, if I do say so myself."
"Tell me."
"We are officially in the black after exactly one year in business. You know how hard that is? And if we keep goin' on like this, we are gonna see one helluva profit this year, 'specially if we c'n get Joey out to stud a few more times." Jack took a moment to savor it. "Ennis, we are gonna be rich men in a few short years."
"Well, you're right. That is damned fine news." Ennis seemed preoccupied. He looked fidgety, and he wasn't quite meeting Jack's eyes.
"Ennis...what's with you? Somethin' wrong?"
"Naw. Nothin's wrong, that's the whole thing." He fetched a deep, resigned sigh and came into the office. He pulled up a chair facing Jack's and sat down. "I gotta talk to you, Jack."
That didn't sound good at all. "Oh God...what is it?"
"Oh no no, it ain't nothin' bad," Ennis said, quickly. "I didn't mean...I'm sorry. I'm just kinda nervous."
"Nervous? Of what?"
"I got you somethin'," Ennis said in a rush, like he was in a big-ass hurry to get the words out of his mouth. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a wad of blue cloth. Looked like chamois, like you'd use to oil your saddle. He handed it to Jack, looking everywhere but at him.
Puzzled, Jack took the cloth and unwound it. He could feel Ennis's eyes on him, and he knew he was waiting for a reaction, but Jack was too stunned to give him one.
In his hand he held a ring. It was hammered silver and cut with a pattern that made it look like rope. It was beautiful. "Wh..." His voice broke. He cleared his throat and started again. "What's this?" He looked up at Ennis, who had his head bowed down, sneaking quick glances at Jack's face from underneath his eyelashes.
"I, uh...well, seein's fellas cain't get hitched...I jus' thought...oh, gimme that," he said, snatching the ring back. He turned it over and over in his hands, and seemed grateful for something to look at while he spoke his piece. "Look, when we came out here we didn't much know if it'd work at all," he said. "I mean...ranch mighta gone bust. Mighta run outta money. Hell, weren't even sure if'n we could stand each other for more'n a week at a time." Jack nodded ruefully. "But it's two years now...ranch is doing good...and we c'n more'n stand each other, so..." He took a deep breath and looked up, meeting Jack's gaze squarely. "I was brought up to think that you don't take up the yoke with someone for too long without makin' no promises, so I thought it might be time for some kinda...somethin'."
His discomfiture was so endearing that Jack feared he might burst into tears and ruin the moment. "You practice that speech all day, didja?"
Ennis rolled his eyes. "Fuck, Jack, don't make fun 'o me. You know this ain't easy for me."
"I know, I know," Jack said, reaching out to touch Ennis's knee. "Just the fact that you're tryin'...well, it's real special."
Ennis tried to smile, and about half-succeeded. "I wanted to give you this so's you'd know that...well, that I'm in." He looked up at Jack and got that smile on the rest of the way. "I'm in it for good." He gave a sharp nod, as if to put a capper on his statement. "So...that's that, then." He held the ring out again. Jack took it, hoping Ennis couldn't see his fingers shaking.
"Yeah...that's that, I guess."
Ennis was examining his fingers, his eyes downcast. He spoke again, quietly. "You gotta know that I'm...I'm real happy, Jack." He risked a quick glance up at him. "Didn't know I had it in me. Didn't know it happened for folks like me. Just scrapin' by, barely anyone inna world gave a damn 'bout me, nothing to look forward to...then you come along, and...now it's all..." He lowered his head again, shaking it slowly back and forth, and Jack realized that he was trying not to cry.
Jack reached out, grabbed the seat of Ennis's chair and pulled him closer. Ennis grabbed ahold of both Jack's hands and gripped them tight, like he was afraid he'd fly apart if he didn't hang on. He kneaded them nervously for a moment, then looked up at him. "I ain't no kinda man for not saying these things afore now," he said, and his voice sounded surer and clearer. "You always been real good to me, and told me jus' what was in your head, and here I been the whole time, actin' like I had one foot out the door."
Jack nodded. "I didn't wanna push you none. I know you gotta take your time, and come 'round on your own."
"Take my time, yeah. It's time for me to do right by you." He let go with one hand and lifted it up to Jack's neck, sliding it around to the back of his head. Ennis sighed. "I love you," he said, putting emphasis on the words. Jack's breath caught in his chest - Ennis had never said that to him before. It had been implied and demonstrated, but never said out loud. "I ain't never loved nobody else but you. And I want it to be like this for always, y'hear?"
Jack nodded, speechless. He felt something uncoiling in his chest, something that had been wound tight for years and years...since 1963, as a matter of fact. "Okay," he managed to croak.
Ennis cocked an eyebrow, a smirk curling his lips. "'Okay?'" he said. "That's all you got to say? I'm pouring my damn heart out here, rodeo. Y'might say I'm feelin' kinda vulnerable, and all I get from my man is 'okay?'"
Jack laughed, the tension broken. "What's there to say that you don't already know, Ennis?"
Ennis shrugged, looking a little insecure. "Y'might set my mind at ease that you're in this with me. For the long haul."
Jack smiled, and stood up. He went over to the locked filing cabinet, opened it, and pulled out a folder. "Just so happens that I got somethin' for you, too," he said, returning to his chair.
Ennis frowned. "What's this?" he said, taking the legal papers Jack handed him.
"It's a power of attorney agreement. It says what's yours is mine, and what's mine is yours, and that we're next 'o kin for each other. It says that you make my decisions if I cain't, and vice versa." Ennis looked up at him, his eyes shining. "It's a legal way 'o sayin' that we're each other's most important person," Jack finished. "So you tell me if'n I'm in it for the long haul with you."
Ennis nodded. "Damn...that's almost like gettin' hitched, ain't it?"
"Pretty much, 'cept for the 'I do's.'"
Ennis picked up a pen and flipped to the last page. His hand hesitated over the signature line. "Then, I guess...I do," he said, and signed his name. He handed over the pen.
"Me, too," Jack said, and signed his name on the other line. He flipped the document closed. "I guess there's just one thing left to do."
"What's that?"
Jack picked up the ring. "You gonna put this on me, or what?"
Ennis laughed. "You want me to? You wouldn't, uh...feel too much like the bride here?"
Jack flapped a hand. "As long's I get to keep my dick, it don't matter."
Ennis took the ring. "Well, I sure as hell hope you do." He took a deep breath and quickly shoved the ring onto Jack's left ring finger, sitting back at once like he was glad to have it done with. "Whew! That was...a bit weird, I don't mind sayin'."
"Yeah, a bit." Jack smirked. "But a'course, now you get to kiss the...uh, the...uh..." He rolled his eyes. "Aw, hell." He grabbed Ennis's hand and pulled him to his feet, dragging him out of the office and through the living room. "Screw the kissin'. Let's go straight to the weddin' night."
Liz laughed as Jack finished the story. She'd asked to hear more about what he'd alluded to the day before, namely that Ennis had taken two years to tell Jack he loved him, without any idea that she'd be hearing about the day the two men made their commitment to each other. "That's..." She'd been about to say "priceless," but the word didn't seem to cover it. "That's beautiful," she finally said.
Jack nodded. "I've had some days in my time, but I gotta point to that one as the happiest one so far," he added.
"Can I see the ring?" Jack held out his hand. "It's lovely." It looked appropriate on his finger, like it belonged there. "But Ennis doesn't wear one."
"Naw, he cain't stand to have nothin' on his hands. Besides, for us to wear some kinda matchin' rings...I dunno. Seems like pretendin' to somethin' we cain't never have. Don't matter to me, anyhow. It ain't the jewelry that's important, is it?"
"You've answered one question that I'd meant to ask, though."
"What's that?"
"If you had power of attorney."
"Oh, yeah. We own this place jointly, we got life insurance on each other...hell, we're about as intertwined as two people c'n be without bein' hitched."
Liz pursed her lips. "I didn't think any states allowed domestic partners to take life insurance on each other yet."
"They don't, but the law requires it for business partners." Jack made a face. "What the hell's that, 'domestic partners?' Sounds like cleanin' ladies teamin' up to do a big job."
Liz laughed. "Yeah, it doesn't sound too romantic, does it? That's the term some companies are using for people who live together but aren't married. It's mostly used for gay couples, but it can be used for co-habiting straight couples, too."
"Why would companies need a term for that?"
"For health insurance. There are few...a very few...forward-thinking companies that are extending their employees' health insurance to their domestic partners. Most of them are taking a lot of flak for it."
"Damn," Jack said, impressed. "That'd be a real step, wouldn't it?" He shook his head. "Health insurance is a bitch. We pay through the nose for it, not just for ourselves but for all the hands. You don't wanna know what it costs, given the risks on this job."
They were sitting on the back porch, enjoying the sunset and a few cold ones. Ennis was still out in the paddocks. Liz examined Jack's profile. It was a strong one, with a square jaw and deep-set eyes. He was handsome, they both were, but Jack had a kind of sensitivity about him that Ennis lacked. She leaned in a little. "Oh, Jack...you got a little something..." She reached out and brushed at his neck. "Wait, it's not..." She cocked her head. "Jack Twist, is this a hickey?"
Jack colored and touched his neck. "Oh. I, uh...I s'pose it's a..." He sighed and rolled his eyes. "God, cain't a man get a little frisky without it becomin' a point of conversation for the whole damned neighborhood?" Liz was laughing helplessly. Jack stuck his tongue out at her. "Sure, go ahead'n laugh! Like you never had a hickey 'afore. And don't you go puttin' this in your little article there, missy!" By now he was laughing, too.
Ennis came up the deck stairs from the yard, his steps heavy and tired. He took off his hat and swiped one arm across his sweaty brow, frowning at them as they cackled in their respective deck chairs. "What'd hell's this, now?" he said, sounding irritated.
"Oh, nothin," Jack said, gasping for breath. Ennis headed into the house. "Just you brandin' me like I'm your damned personal property. Naw, you go on ahead, never you mind...Christ, Ennis, you been smokin', ain't you! Don't gimme that innocent look, I c'n smell it!" He got up and followed Ennis into the house, the sound of their bickering fading away, leaving Liz chuckling to herself on the porch, a cold beer in her hand, the sun painting the entire horizon purple and orange.
Can I live here? she thought, and not for the first time.
They stood in front of the pantry, gazing at the supper options. "Please, God, no more chili," Jack said.
"Then you cook, if'n you're so high 'n mighty!" Ennis snapped.
"Cain't you cook?" Jack said to Liz, his tone plaintive.
"What, just because I'm a woman that means I can cook?"
"Well...yeah!"
"I eat out. A lot."
Ennis sighed. "Fuck it. I'm callin' Fred and Arlene. She said we could come over any night this week...Fred caught a mess 'o walleyes up at the lake last weekend."
Ten minutes later, Liz was sandwiched between them on the front seat of Ennis's pickup. "Uh...why didn't we take the car with the backseat?" she asked.
Ennis snorted. "Damn, Liz, that is a real good question. Whyn't you tell her, Jack, why we ain't takin' the car with the backseat? Explain to the lady why she's sittin' here with your bony-ass hip stickin' into her side." Jack gave no indication of responding, he just sat with his arms crossed and glared at Ennis over her head. It didn't seem to matter, Ennis went right on ahead without his say-so. "See, Jack fancies himself a big-time rancher, so now he figures he oughta have a nicer car, 'cause pickups ain't high-falutin' enough for high-rollers like him, right? So he buys this car...what is it, rodeo?"
"It's a damn Mercedes, and shut up."
"Like hell. Lady asked a question. You see how he talks to me?" he said, sotto voce into Liz's ear. She giggled. She would not have believed Ennis capable of such playful spirits, although Jack didn't seem terribly amused. "Anyhow, he buys this Mercedes, but what color does he buy? Black. With gray insides. Didja happen to notice where we live? On a ranch, with a fuckin' gravel drive. Ever' time he drives that car it looks like he drove it through a dust storm. And he's so petrified of gettin' the insides dirty with his muddy boots that he won't even get behind the wheel. So there it sits, takin' up space and depreciatin' by the day."
Jack harrumphed. "I'm keepin' up its resale value."
Ennis laughed. "Aw, that's rich. This is some bullshit we're hearin' now, Lizzie."
Jack shot Ennis a look. "Once the drive gets paved, then you'll see."
"Christ, Jack, get the damn car dirty already. Hose it down afterwards, if'n the dust troubles you so much. You earned it, you ought to take it out." Jack sighed, but said nothing. Ennis leaned close again, speaking confidentially. "See, that ain't the reason he won't drive it. Truth is, he don't like it...but you'll never get him to admit it."
"I look like an asshole from the everlovin' Rotary Club in that goddamned thing!" Jack suddenly exclaimed. "Ever' time I drive it, I feel like fuckin' L.D. Newsome!" He slumped down, letting his head fall back against the headrest. "Shit, Ennis. Whyn't I listen t'you?"
"'Cause you're an idiot."
"Oh, yeah. Musta slipped my mind." He turned his head and smirked across the back of the seat. Liz turned in time to see Ennis smile back and drop a wink.
Jack had told her before they left that Fred and Arlene Trimble, their friends and dinner hosts, owned a salvage yard on the far side of town. When she'd heard "salvage yard," Liz had feared the worst...but the Trimble home was a neat two-story Colonial with an enormous backyard. The salvage yard itself was a hundred yards away, neatly tucked away behind aluminum-slat fencing. Fred grilled the fish on their slate patio, which featured an outdoor kitchen sheltered under the porch overhand, and they ate at a teakwood table. Between the success of their own operation, their friendship with the mayor and the apparent affluency of their friends, Liz was getting the impression that Ennis and Jack were among Farmingdale's more prominent citizens. Their social circle certainly seemed to be drawn from the town's elite. She wondered how that sat with them; she knew they'd both grown up dirt poor, although Jack had gotten a taste of more comfortable living when he'd been married to Lureen.
Fred and Arlene were pleasant and friendly. They welcomed her amicably and asked the appropriate questions, but stopped short of prying into her current writing assignment. "Where's Jimmy?" Jack asked, soon after they arrived.
"Oh, he's with his grandma tonight. She'll be bringing him home after supper sometime," Arlene said.
Liz turned to Ennis for the backstory. "That's their little boy. He's five," Ennis explained in a low voice. "Cutest little fella y'ever did see. Thinks Jack's the greatest thing since Superman." He chuckled. "Jack's real good with kids. Sometimes I wish he weren't," he said, giving Liz a significant look.
"Why not?"
Ennis sighed. "Some folks don't know no better think that sleepin' with men means sleepin' with little boys," he said, his distaste for the idea evident on his face. "I worry that someone'll accuse him 'o somethin'."
Liz felt her skin crawl at the idea. "God, I never thought of that."
"It's a damn shame that anyone has to think of such things." He saw her worried face and patted her back. "Don't you worry none. Jack's a smart fella, 'cept when it comes to car-buyin'. He ain't gonna put himself in no position like that."
Dinner was a jolly affair. Fred kept opening wine, and before too long Liz felt her head swimming a little bit. "So," Fred asked her, after the food was eaten. "What'd you think of our little community?"
"It's like heaven," Liz sighed.
"Yeah, well you ain't smelled the ranch in August yet," Jack said, grinning.
"It's a nice spread, isn't it?" Arlene said. "It's amazing what these boys have done with it. Before they bought it, it never turned a profit or did the town any good. You know how much business that ranch has brought here?"
Liz leaned forward, keenly interested, even while Jack and Ennis looked embarrassed at the praise. "No, how much?"
"Lots. You don't see that many cattle operations around here. Not enough open space, not like out West. Dairy farms gotta get their head and their studs from somewhere, and it sure costs a lot less to get them from Brokeback than to ship 'em in from Texas. That ranch put this town on a lot of maps. We've gotten a half-dozen new businesses springin' up, just because they saw the town while doin' business with these boys, and saw that there was space to be had for cheap and low local taxes."
Liz nodded. It was no wonder the town tolerated Jack and Ennis's lifestyle, if they were bringing in that much money. It was a cynical explanation and a less satisfying one than simple open-mindedness, but one that couldn't be ignored.
"She is exaggeratin'," Jack said, shooting Arlene a look.
"I beg your pardon, but I am not!" she said, slapping at Jack's arm. "You boys are too modest by half, I always say."
The door into the house opened, and a little boy came running out. Ennis was right, he was adorable. Curly black hair and dark eyes, just like his mother. "Jacky!" he cried in delight, running across to Jack, who stood and scooped him up.
"Jimbo! My God, what you been eatin', boy? You're enormous!" He seized the boy and tried to bench-press him over his head. "See, I cain't even lift you! Oh no...you're jus' too big!" Little Jimmy cackled with laughter as Jack upended him and dangled him by his feet.
Liz wondered if this town was too good to be true. Here she sat, laughing with a group of friends in the backyard of a charming homestead, having just eaten freshly-caught fish under the night sky, crowded with more stars than she'd ever known existed.
She saw the door open again, and an older women emerge. Must be Jimmy's grandmother, she thought. The woman walked forward, then stopped. Her mouth dropped open in horror. "Jimmy!" she exclaimed, as if she'd just seen him playing with matches. Everyone fell silent...except Jimmy, who kept giggling, oblivious.
Liz felt Ennis tense up next to her. Jack put Jimmy down just in time for his grandmother to rush over and seize him, glaring at Jack. "Mom, what's wrong?" Arlene said, frowning. "He wouldn't have dropped him..." Liz bit her lip, her good feelings of just five seconds ago gone as if they'd never existed.
Grandma backed away with Jimmy to the porch, then set him down. "Jimmy, go on up to your room."
"But...I wanna play with Jacky..."
"Go on, now," she said, and Jimmy complied. She turned back, pasting on a strained smile. "Sorry to interrupt," she said. "I'll put Jimmy to bed. You folks have a nice chat, now." She started to go into the house.
"Mom, what's going on?" Arlene demanded.
Grandma sighed, as if she regretted being forced into speaking the words. "I just don't think it's appropriate for Jimmy to be playing with that man," she said.
Jack sat down heavily, his face going blank. Liz saw the muscles in Ennis's jaw standing out like walnuts, his eyes narrowed to deadly little points. "Mother," Arlene said, her voice tight. "Jack is our friend. Jimmy loves him!"
"Does he, now," Grandma said, managing to make even this innocent statement sound somehow perverted. "I'm sure your friends are perfectly nice, but I can't help it. I just don't think Jimmy needs to associate with that sort."
Ennis stood up. "What sort is that, ma'am?" he said. His voice was very quiet and calm, but the veins in his temples were throbbing.
Jack grasped his arm. "Ennis, it's all right."
"No, Jack. I mean to hear what 'sort' you are."
Grandma drew herself up. "You know perfectly well what sort I mean, Mr. Del Mar. Maybe I'm just old-fashioned, I guess I can't help it, but in my day folks knew to keep their kids away from deviants." She said this as if it were common knowledge, which Liz supposed it had once been...or perhaps still was.
Liz saw Ennis flinch and his hands clench into fists; Jack's hand tightened on his arm until his knuckles were white. Fred stood up, holding out a hand towards Ennis as if to warn him off. He turned to his mother-in-law. "Agnes, I won't have you coming into our house and insulting our friends."
"Fine," she said. "If my opinion isn't worth anything, you shouldn't have asked for it." She turned to leave.
Jack stood up. "Ma'am, wait," he said. Agnes paused and turned back. "You oughta know that I'd never hurt Jimmy, and I'd thrash anyone who did to within an inch of their miserable life."
She nodded. "Of course you'd say that, Mr. Twist. But look at how you live," she said, glancing at Ennis. "It's easy to see how little it matters to you to lead a decent life." She turned away and left through the house.
Liz felt ill. It was as if all the air had been sucked out of the backyard. Ennis looked mad enough to chew nails, and Jack looked heartbroken. Arlene's mouth was opening and closing. "Ennis...Jack..." she spluttered. "You know she doesn't speak for us."
"She spoke well enough for herself, though," Ennis said.
"I'm so sorry," Fred said, sitting down again. "I had no idea she felt that way. She's never said anything against you, not a word."
"Not till she saw me with Jimmy," Jack said, his voice hoarse.
"I trust you with Jimmy just as much as anyone in the world, including her!" Arlene exclaimed. "You'd never hurt him!"
"Of course not!" Jack cried, stricken.
Ennis picked up his hat. "Fred, Arlene...thanks for the supper, but I think we'd better get on home."
"Oh no, stay. Play some poker, it just wouldn't be the same if you didn't," Arlene said.
Ennis sighed. "I'd say we already lost any chance of it bein' the same," he said.
Liz bid their hosts hasty goodbyes and trailed along after Ennis and Jack, feeling torturously conspicuous and intrusive. Jack had his hands shoved into his pockets; Ennis walked with one hand on the back of Jack's neck. They got into the truck, Liz squashed into the middle again, and Ennis pulled back onto the highway.
He drove in silence for a few miles, then suddenly slammed his fist into the steering wheel. Liz and Jack both jumped. "Fuck!" he grunted.
Jack sighed and stared out the window. "Let it go, Ennis," he said.
"That ain't right," Ennis said. "I'm powerful sorry, darlin'," he said. Liz spared a brief second to marvel that Ennis had just called Jack "darlin" in front of her.
Jack shook his head. "It happens."
She looked up at Ennis. "Does that kind of thing happen...a lot?"
Ennis's jaw was clenching again. "Once in awhile. Maybe twice a year. It's always a surprise, and you never get used to it." He growled in anger again. "Fuck, as if you were some kinda pervert who'd mess with that child! I'd half a mind to..." He trailed off. "Ain't right," he repeated.
"No, it ain't," Jack said. "But it's our lot and we gotta stand it."
"Not if we can fix it," Ennis said. "Mayhap Lizzie here can help us do that, with this story she's gonna write. Right, Lizzie?"
Liz crossed her arms, feeling the resolve of purpose stiffening her spine. "Damn fuckin' straight," she said.