The door opened a bit and Jack poked his head in. "Rise 'n shine, swee'pea. Best roust yerself 'afore Ennis drinks all the coffee."
"I'm just so comfy," she said, stretching and snuggling into the heavy covers. She smiled at Jack, lurking in the doorway. "Come talk to me until I wake up enough to get up."
He crossed the floor and sat down on the edge of her bed, giving her a friendly nudge with his elbow. "Sleep okay, then?"
"God, like a rock." She turned her head and looked out her bedroom window, which had a view down the yard to the river, its banks now neat and tidy. "I love it here, Jack. I don't miss my stupid trendy sterile apartment, or the noise, or the sky that's orange at night, or having to shove my way up the sidewalk to go to work."
"Don't you miss your husband?"
She sighed. No, she didn't. And she very much doubted if Charlie missed her, but she wasn't about to explain why to a man who had dozens of guns at his immediate disposal. "I guess," she said. "I just feel so safe here."
"Well, we love havin' you."
She looked up at him. "You do? Seriously? Because I've been worrying about overstaying my welcome. I mean, this is your house and you're used to having it all to yourselves..."
"That's so, but I c'n speak for both of us when I say that havin' you 'round is doin' us good." He hesitated. "D'you know that last night me 'n Ennis had a serious talk about those things we was discussin' yesterday?"
She smiled. "Yeah?"
"He said it made him feel bad that I wasn't speakin' my mind on account 'o him. So we talked about it, and we didn't fight. Just talked." Jack smiled. "That wouldn'ta happened if'n you weren't here. And I cain't tell you how nice it is just to hear him speak. You cain't appreciate the difference, 'cause you don't know him otherwise, but I'm still in shock he's talkin' a you so much."
"I've got one of those sympathetic faces," Liz said. "Everybody says so. Charlie says it's why I'm a good reporter. People talk to me."
Jack grinned. "Well, it is a nice little face, all the same." He reached out and tweaked her nose. "All right, no more layin' about," he said, rising to his feet. "Up and at 'em." He winked at her and left the room, shutting the door behind him.
Jack and Ennis decided that Liz had to see someplace they called "the high meadow," so the three of them set off on horseback. She couldn't see a trail, or a road, or any recognizable markers, but her guides seemed to know their way, so Liz just followed along. It was hard to keep her eyes pointed ahead when so much beauty reared up around her. The area wasn't terribly mountainous, but the hills loomed in the distance and the rocky swells created vistas onto crystal lakes ringed with pine trees.
They entered a shaded cove of trees on the side of a hill and climbed through it. Ennis drew up alongside her. "Right there's where I had a bit of a close call with a bear," he said, pointing down to a ridge near a creek.
Jack raised both hands to his ears. "La la la la I ain't listenin' 'cause I hate this story la la la la..."
Ennis rolled his eyes. "I dunno what it is with him'n bears, he ain't never seen one. Anyhow, I came ridin' up just to get some peace, and I come up over that ridge and there's this bear. My horse nearly threw me."
Liz gaped. "What'd you do?"
"Whaddya think? I turned that horse right 'round and hightailed it outta there. Bears can outrun a man, but not a horse." He paused. "Jack! I'm done, you c'n uncover yer damn fool ears now!"
The high meadow reminded Liz of "The Sound of Music" - it was an open plain beneath the sky, ringed with high hills and trees. She was sorely tempted to spin around and burst into song. Instead, she sat cross-legged in the grass, hearing chapter and verse of town gossip from Jack while Ennis laid on his back, arms crossed behind his head, saying nothing.
Jack fell silent after awhile and kicked back onto his elbows, stretching his long legs out before him. Liz held up blades of grass to her lips, trying to make them whistle like her grandmother had shown her how to do about a million years ago. "You guys ever go back to Brokeback Mountain?" she finally asked, giving up on the grass whistle.
"We go back once a year," Jack said.
"Really?"
"Yep. Ennis stops in and sees the girls, then we head up for a week. That old camp is still there, b'lieve it or not. It don't get used anymore, 'o course."
"I'd love to see it," Liz said. "I think I ought to go there before I do my writing."
Jack's brow furrowed. "Really? Seems like a lot to go through for an article."
Liz sighed. "Well, that's another thing I've been meaning to discuss with both of you." She saw Ennis's head, mostly hidden by his hat over his face, turn towards her slightly. "I don't think I'm going to be writing an article."
"You're...not?" Jack said, puzzled. "Then what the hell're we doin' here?"
"I'm going to write a book instead."
He stared at her, his mouth hanging open a little. "A book?" he exclaimed. "About us?"
"Maybe not only about you. I think there's a lot of stories like yours to be told. Gay couples who don't fit the stereotypes. People like you, people who just fell in love with someone the same gender as them and don't quite know if that makes them gay or not. I'd even bet that there's a couple like you guys in about every small town in the country."
"Well, damn," Jack said, leaning back again. "Here I was startin' to feel all special, but now you're runnin' off to find yerself a hunnert more fellas like us. I feel so...so disposable." Ennis chuckled, the first sound he'd made in over an hour.
"Stop it," Liz said. "You and Ennis are very special, of course. I'm not going to invade anyone else's house for days at a time."
"And how're you gonna find these folks? Set up a booth in the town square with a sign what says 'If you're gay, I'd like to hear about it?'"
"No..." Liz said, although Jack had a point. "I guess I'll need to be a bit more subtle than that."
"Well, if it was me, I'd go right to the waitresses. Those women know fuckin' everthing."
Evening was rapidly becoming Liz's favorite time on the ranch. It was so quiet, and she'd taken to sitting on the back porch and watching the stars emerge. She'd never imagined there were so many.
Tonight, Jack was sitting with her. Ennis was somewhere. She'd gotten used to the fact that he'd often disappear for hours at a time on unspecified ranch busywork. They weren't talking, just sitting side by side in deck chairs watching the sun set. She turned to look at him. "Can I ask you a personal question?"
He smiled a little. "You ain't never asked for permission yet."
"Well, this is really personal."
"Okay."
"Have you been with men besides Ennis?"
He didn't answer for a few beats, long enough for Liz to wonder if she'd offended him. She had not yet asked either of them any questions about their intimate lives, and she still had no idea how to broach the topic. This topic seemed safer, but was still fraught with peril. "Yeah," he finally said, very quietly. "Couple 'o times, when we were still tryin' to make it on a few fishin' trips a year." He picked at nonexistent lint on his jeans. "Times I'd get to missin' him so bad, it was like havin' a fever. I took a coupla trips down to Mexico, if'n you take my meanin'."
Liz nodded. "Does Ennis know about this?"
"No," Jack said, quickly. "And he don't need to, neither. Ennis never got jealous when I'd talk about bein' with Lureen, but if he heard 'o me bein' with another fella, well...that would not go over, and I ain't lyin'."
"Then he never..."
"Oh, hell no. I cain't imagine he ever..." He shook his head. "He never woulda with no one else. It's kinda part 'o his whole 'I ain't queer' thing. He likes to say he don't like fellas 'cept for me."
"Yeah, he said that the first night I was here. He said he never took a second look at any other man."
Jack snorted. "Sure. He says that. Maybe if he says it enough, it'll start bein' true."
Liz cocked one eyebrow. "You're saying that he has taken a second look?"
"I seen him. He thinks he's all subtle. I dunno if'n you've noticed, but Ennis ain't so good at bein' subtle." Liz laughed. "We had this one ranch hand a few years back. His name was Willy, and don't think I didn't have a chuckle over that now'n again. He was 'bout twenty-five, and he was..." Jack whistled. "He was some kinda fine-lookin' man, I don't mind tellin' you. I caught Ennis eyeballin' his ass a coupla times. He'd never admit to it, o'course, and I never called him out on it. No need t'embarrass him. But he ain't above observin' when the occasion presents itself." He shifted in his chair, a flush rising to his cheeks. "Personally, I kinda like it that he still says I'm the only fella ever turned his head. Makes me feel...I dunno. Special, I guess."
Liz reached out and took Jack's hand. He looked at her, surprised, then smiled and squeezed her fingers. "You are special, Jack."
"Thanks, swee'pea. I like t'think that everbody is. I'm jus' one 'o the lucky folks that has a fella who makes me sensible 'o bein' so."
"So how long are you staying?"
"I said I don't know, Charlie. Ennis's daughter is flying in tonight and staying until Sunday, so I'll be here at least until Monday."
A tired sigh. "Guess I'll farm out your assignments again. I need you back here. The sooner, the better."
Now she was getting irritated. "You know, you don't own me. I'm freelance. And this is turning into something bigger than just an article."
"What do you mean, something bigger?"
"There could be a book in this."
"Well, if you're not writing an article for the paper, then you can't expense anything."
"I wrote the article on the mayor, so my hotel and food for the first two days can still be expensed. And frankly, I don't need anything else. Ennis and Jack aren't charging me rent, you know."
"Of course not. Not the saintly, perfect Ennis and Jack."
"You don't know what you're talking about," she snapped. "You don't know them." Hearing her pretentious husband insult her fellas had her dander up, as Ennis would have said.
"Sorry," he said, sounding surprised. "Didn't realize you'd become so fond of them."
"I gotta go, Charlie," she said, tired of the whole conversation. "I don't want to miss breakfast."
"Okay. Let me know what's going on."
"Yeah." She hung up and raked her hands through her hair, damp from the shower. She finished dressing and headed to the kitchen. Ennis and Jack were passing sections of the morning paper back and forth. "Morning," she said.
"Mornin', swee'pea," Jack said. "Didja reach your husband?"
She shrugged. "Yeah."
"You don't sound too excited about it," Jack said, glancing at Ennis, who was watching her over the top of the World News section. "How long've you been married?"
"Six months."
"Damn, I'd think you'd still be in the honeymoon phase' n all!"
"We never had a honeymoon," she said flatly. "Charlie had a paper to put out."
Ennis was peering at her with narrowed eyes. "Does he treat you right?" he asked, his voice carrying the threat of dire consequences to Charlie if he didn't get the answer he wanted.
Liz sighed. "I hardly care anymore."
They both leaned forward, the newspaper forgotten. "That don't sound too good," Jack said.
"You don't want to hear my sob stories."
"Hell, Lizzie! You know everythin' there is t'know about us and we know next t'nothin' about you!" He shook his head. "We ain't never asked you a single question 'bout yourself, have we? We're bad friends, Ennis."
"I reckon we are."
Liz smiled, happy warmth spreading through her that they considered themselves her friends. "Thanks, guys. I...I might like to talk about it."
"Then talk."
"I'd only known Charlie six months when we got married. It was fast, but he kind of swept me off my feet. We eloped in Las Vegas, then moved back to New York and it all changed. He changed. He'd always been this thoughtful, caring man who just wanted to talk with me for hours and share everything and suddenly he became this stranger who'd come home and shut himself in his office and not come out until bedtime. I don't know why he wanted to marry me if he didn't want to have me around."
"Is he an ambitious man?" Jack asked.
"Oh, yeah."
"That's why, then."
Liz frowned. "What do you mean?"
Jack sighed, like he was sorry he had to be the one to break it to her. "Fellas who want to get ahead...well, sometimes they think that havin' a pretty young wife makes 'em look good." He shook his head. "I, uh...I know somethin' about that. How old is he?"
Liz felt very, very small and very, very stupid. "He's forty-two."
"And you're what, thirty?"
"Thirty-one."
"Uh-huh." Jack shook his head. "Anyone who'd take a wife just to further his career...well, that ain't right. It wasn't right when I done it and it still ain't." Ennis grunted his agreement.
Liz shook her head. "It was a mistake. It was all a huge, giant mistake, and I want it to be over." She'd been thinking this in a vague, hypothetical way for weeks, but all at once it seemed inevitable and concrete. "I'm just glad I don't have years and years invested in him. I scarcely remember what it felt like to love him, if I ever did." She sighed. "Besides, I'm pretty sure he's fucking his secretary."
Silence. Jack turned to Ennis. "Say, weren't we sayin' that we ought to visit that there city? Don't you think that now'd be a real good time for a trip?"
Ennis gave a curt nod. "I'll get my shotgun," he said, rising from the table.
Liz grabbed his arm and pulled him back down, laughing. "Cut it out, guys. I don't think I'm ready to sic a couple of pissed-off ranchers on him just yet."
"Well...when you're ready, you let us know, okay?"
"Okay," she said, accepting a plate of eggs from Ennis. Silence fell again as Liz ate, basking in their steady acceptance and the comfort of the homey kitchen.
Ennis waited by the gate, trying not to look too excited. He hadn't seen Junior since Christmas, and that was a powerful long time.
He watched the passengers come pouring out of the jetway, and it wasn't too long before he saw Junior's long chestnut hair waving like a flag. He took a step forward, grinning helplessly, waiting for her to see him. "Daddy!" she cried as she spotted him. She broke into a run and hurled herself into his embrace, and Ennis found himself with his arms full of Junior again.
He kissed her cheek. "How's your flight, darlin'?"
"Long 'n boring. I slept most 'o the way." She looked around. "Where's Jack?"
"He stayed back at the house."
"Oh," Junior said, looking a little hurt.
"He's excited to see you, Junior, but we got a guest at the ranch and he stayed home with her. I'll explain in the car."
Since she was only staying the weekend, Junior hadn't checked any bags, so they headed straight for Ennis's truck. He filled her in on the Liz situation as quickly as possible.
"So...she's staying with you?"
"Yup," Ennis said, paying the parking fee and heading south towards Middlebury and home.
"For how long?"
"She's been there since...lessee, musta been Monday morning."
"How much longer's she staying?"
"I dunno. She c'n stay's long as she likes, s'far as I'm concerned. She's nice t'have around."
"I don't know about this book or whatever she's writing, Daddy. You'll hate all that publicity, won't you?"
"Oh, no. She ain't gonna put in our names or where we live. No one'll know it's us, 'cept maybe the folks around town who already know us, and that don't matter."
Junior seemed to be weighing this. "What's she like?" she asked.
"You'll meet her soon enough," Ennis said, wearily.
"C'mon, Daddy! I ain't never met nobody from New York."
"She's regular folks."
"Is she pretty?"
"She's a cute little gal. Smart as a whip. Ain't had too much luck with the fellas, though." He hoped Junior had finished her interrogation.
No such luck. "So's she divorced, then?"
"Naw. Sounds like maybe she oughta be, though."
Junior had that thoughtful look on her face again. "What's Jack think of her?"
Ennis looked at her, suspicious. "He likes her fine." Her mock-nonchalant expression confirmed his suspicions. "Junior, I thought we was through with this."
"With what?" she asked, innocently.
"With you tryin' ta find some gal to romance Jack away 'n get me moved back home." He wouldn't have told her so, but Ennis was deeply disappointed that she might even harbor such plans anymore. He'd thought they were past it, but apparently he'd been wrong.
Junior stared out the window, arms crossed. "Daddy, I like Jack 'n all, but...I still wish you could come home."
Ennis felt her words like a knife through his chest. How could he explain it to his nineteen-year-old daughter when he hadn't the words to express it even to himself? Despite the constant ache in his chest from missing her and her sister, Jack was his whole life. If he were to leave him behind and return to Wyoming, Junior wouldn't get what she wanted. She wouldn't have her daddy back, she'd have only a hollowed-out husk that looked like him and talked like him, but would have nothing to give her because it was soul-dead inside. It was better this way. Even if he only got to see her a few days at a time, at least when they were together, he could be the kind of daddy she needed and wanted. She deserved an answer, though, so he took a deep breath and did the best he could. "Sweetheart, you know I miss you somethin' terrible, and if I could I'd be closer to you. But..." He hesitated, then plunged ahead. She was old enough to understand it. "Jack is my home," he said quietly, uncomfortable with even this brief statement of his private feelings.
He saw Junior swipe at her eyes, trying to hide it. She reached across the seat and took his hand, keeping her face turned towards the window. "I know, Daddy," she whispered. "And I'm glad you're happy, really I am. But it's hard when folks around town say terrible things about you, and when I c'n only see you a few times a year. Sometimes all I want is just to have you there even if it means you'd be miserable, and I know it's selfish but I can't help it."
Ennis felt a lump rising in his throat and swallowed it down. He pulled on Junior's hand until she slid across the seat so he could wrap his arm around her, hugging her to his shoulder as he drove. She rested her head on his arm with a sigh. "It's me who's been selfish, sweetheart."
"No, Daddy."
"I lef' you all jus' so's I could..."
"Shush, now." She exhaled deeply. "I've been thinkin' on this a long time, and...well, if you'd stayed, you'd've been sad and heartsick, right?"
Ennis grunted. "I s'pose so."
"Maybe after a time, you'da come to hate us, 'cause we were keepin' you from bein' happy." She raised her head and looked at him. "Maybe it's best for everybody to be happy, even if it means we're far apart."
He nodded. "You're a good girl, Junior," he said, his voice choked.
She smiled. "Anyway, most 'o the time I'm glad you're someplace where folks ain't so mean." She was playing with a loose thread on her sweater, her eyes downcast. "Few months ago a man got beat to death. Folks said he was queer. Found him bloody and beat by the side of the road out by Lake Stonybrook. Nobody saw nothin', of course," she said, anger tinging her voice. "And nobody been arrested for it. Folks joke about it. Makes me want to puke. Every time someone'd mention it, Mamma'd get this hard look on her face. If you'd stuck around...that coulda been you, Daddy," she whispered. "I can't stand to think of it."
An image flashed into his mind of Jack on the ground and those tire irons rising and falling. "I know." A terrible thought rose in Ennis's mind, one that might ruin the cease-fire he'd managed to negotiate between himself and his conscience. "Junior...anyone ever get after you or Francie? 'Cause 'o me?"
"No," she said, with conviction. "I wondered if they would, but nobody ever done." She looked at him. "But they might if I was a boy. I don't know why that makes a difference, but it does. Then that makes me think...don't Jack have a boy?"
"Yeah. He's seventeen."
"Folks get after him?"
"Not as far's I know. And if'n they did, you could be sure Lureen'd give Jack holy hell 'bout it."
Liz perked up at the sound of Ennis's truck coming down the drive. "Jack!" she called, putting her book down and getting up. "They're here!" She watched out the window as Ennis parked his truck in the garage and got out, accompanied by a slender girl with long reddish hair. She hung back as Jack went out to the porch, not wanting to intrude on a family moment.
Junior grinned and waved. She ran up the porch stairs and hugged him. "Hi, Jack!" she exclaimed.
"Here's my favorite girl," Jack said, wrapping her up and kissing her temple. He drew back. "Don't you just get prettier 'n prettier every time I see you!"
Liz saw Junior giggle a little. "You keep getting' grayer!" she said, reaching up to pluck at his hair.
"Oh, I know," he said. "I pluck 'em out but three grow back for every one I get rid of." Ennis came into the house, Junior's bag over his shoulder. Liz stood up and put on her best friendly smile, wondering how much Ennis had told Junior about her, if he'd mentioned her at all.
Evidently he had mentioned her, because Junior immediately approached her. "You must be the reporter! Daddy told me all about you." She stuck out her hand, which Liz shook.
"I'm Liz. It's nice to meet you, Miss Del Mar."
"Oh, please. Call me Junior, everybody does. Oh Daddy, don't put my bag away jus' yet, I got somethin' in it." Ennis paused, frowning, and came back into the living room. She took her bag from him and sat down on the couch. "I got somethin' for you from Mamma."
Ennis sat down next to her, his frown deepening. "Your Mamma sent me somethin'?" he said.
Junior reached into her bag and pulled out a long, thick scarf, red and white striped like a candy cane. "Mamma made about a hundred of these last winter. When I was packing, she gave me this and told me to give it to you." Ennis took it, holding it gingerly as if it might be a mirage that would evaporate any moment. Junior smiled. "She said to tell you that you better keep your neck warm in these Vermont winters, or else you'll catch your death."
Liz felt tears pricking at the corners of her eyes as Ennis stared at that scarf, his face a mask of disbelieving astonishment to be receiving this missive from the opposing camp. She looked over at Jack, who was standing nearby and watching Ennis's face with an expression of such tenderness that Liz felt a little envious. Charlie had certainly never looked at her like that. "Oh, well..." Ennis said. He cleared his throat. "Well, you tell your mamma that I'm real grateful."
Junior reached into her bag and pulled out another scarf, this one black and green striped. "Then she said, 'And give this one to your dad's friend. Ain't no call t'have him dyin' of pneumonia, neither.'" She held it out to Jack, whose expression had gone from tender to dumbfounded in a flash.
Ennis looked up at Jack as he took the scarf from Junior. "Gosh, I...I dunno what to say. I thought Alma'd never even acknowledge my existence."
"She ain't as hard's she used to be," Junior said. "She don't seem so mad about it anymore. She's actually asked me a coupla questions, real vague-like. She's asked me what the ranch is like, and how it's doin'. And a few months back, after that man died that I told you about? She sat me down, real serious. Looked like she'd been workin' up the nerve to ask me. She said, 'Junior, tell me somethin'. Your dad and his...friend. Are folks where they live nice to them?'"
Ennis swallowed hard. Jack made a brief choking sound and turned half away. "She asked that?" Ennis said.
"She sure did. I told her that you had lots 'o friends here, and that the people were real nice. She jus' nodded and said, 'That's good, then.' And that was all she said."
Ennis was staring at his new scarf again. "That eases my mind, Junior. Ain't nothin' your mamma's fault, and it's heavy on my heart that she ever got hurt. If'n she's feelin' inclined to forgive me, then that's..." He paused. "That's a good day for all of us, ain't it?"