Once again I was speechless under the power of Tom Riddle. "I'm sorry," I finally croaked. Around Tom, I again felt a rush of emotions. I was absolutely terrified- he looked so sinister I wouldn't have been surprised if he had killed me right then and there. Yet at the same time I also wanted to leap up and hug him to thank him for saving us and getting rid of the one who had opened the Chamber of Secrets.
To my surprise, Tom laughed. It was a high pitched laugh, completely unfitting for him. It was unnatural to hear Tom laugh, and it frightened me.
"It doesn't matter," he said. "You heard everything, didn't you?"
I nodded weakly. He smiled. "Then you know the truth. You know that Hagrid opened the Chamber of Secrets. And you know that I was the one who caught him. Did you see what the monster was?"
I shook my head. "It doesn't matter," he said. "It's gone now. And they're not going to tell you anything, you know."
"Who?" I asked.
"The teachers. Professor Dippet. They don't want to scare you, so they're keeping the whole thing very quiet. No mention of a monster, no explanations. Just that there's nothing to worry about anymore. But you know. You know who killed the Mudblood."
With that, Tom Riddle walked briskly away. I slowly rose and rubbed my aching forehead, feebly climbing up the stairs.
To my surprise I found Garrett at the top. He ran over when he saw me and held me close. I clung to him, because I had trouble standing up and my head hurt so badly. "Thank God you're okay," he said.
"We're all okay," I told him.
"I know, Professor Dippet just announced that the problem has been taken care of and that there's nothing else to worry about." He looked down at the bruise on my forehead. "But what happened to you?"
"It's a long story." I sighed. "I definitely have to tell you, though. Just not now."
"That's fine," he said. "We'll have all day tomorrow."
And at that moment Garrett leaned in to kiss me. As apathetic as I felt towards him, I allowed him to do it. He pulled away slowly and said, "Phoebe, I have to ask you something. This might not be the right time, but I just can't stay quiet any longer." He took a deep breath. "I was wondering if you'd like to try a real relationship now."
I thought about it briefly. Garrett was a great guy- one of my best friends. I had no feelings or commitments to any other guys. And despite the fact that it did feel more like a brother hugging me than a lover, it nevertheless felt protective and safe.
His eyes watched me hopefully and he expressed such passion just through his blue eyes that I knew I couldn't let him down. So what if I didn't love him? He didn't have to know that.
"Sure, Garrett."
ooooooooooooooooooooooooo
How odd it was to be dating Garrett! It seemed like almost nothing had changed, except that we held hands or kissed every once in awhile. Which wasn't even that bad of a thing, to be honest. Granted, I did not feel any fiery passions when I was with him, but we were comfortable and mellow, and that was good enough for me right then.
We sat together outside by the lake on the last day of our 6th year. Our fingers were entwined and our hands lay carelessly together in the grass. Catherine and her fully restored Nathan sat with us. Nathan had his arm around her and they leaned against a tree. It was picturesque, and appeared quite close to perfection.
This was my opportunity, and I knew it. Being with Garrett actually made me feel rather happy, and I needed that in my life. We were free from worry at Hogwarts, and things were good. It was the chance to put everything behind me and go ahead with living. No more pain, no more passion, no more Tom.
I decided to make that change in my life. I wasn't going to go back.
"This is a sad day," Garrett said, playing with some blades of grass with his spare hand. "We're going to be separated for the summer."
"I know," I replied, not really knowing what else to say. I wouldn't be pining away for him all summer, but I certainly would miss him, like I would miss a brother or dear friend.
"Don't be so sad, we can all write to each other!" exclaimed Catherine. Nathan bent his head down and whispered something in her ear. "That's an even better idea! Nathan invited me to come to his house the last two weeks of the summer, and he said you two could come as well, if you want to."
"Sure, why not?" Garrett said, looking a bit more cheerful.
"As long as my parents let me come, I'm there," I told Catherine and Nathan.
"They have to let you come, you'll be of age next year! You're not a child anymore," Catherine insisted.
"That's true," I said, smiling.
"Next year will be great," declared Nathan. "We'll all be together, and it'll be our final year. We'll rule to school."
"True," agreed Catherine, leaning over and pecking him on the cheek. "But you have to write to me every day over the summer, because I'll miss you so much."
"I know," he replied, stroking her hair. "I love you. We'll spend lots of him together, don't worry."
Their public intimacy made me feel a bit uncomfortable. Normally I wouldn't really mind, but with Garrett right next to me I was afraid he would start thinking I wanted him to start acting like Nathan acted around Catherine. While it was sweet and all, it wasn't something I would really want for myself, from anyone.
A few hours later we were on the Hogwarts Express heading back to London to be with our families once more. As the train pulled into platform 9 ¾, Garrett and I both realized it was time to say goodbye. We shared a kiss that was tender at best, but a bit lackluster as well.
As we parted, he leaned over and whispered in my ear, "I love you."
My stomach flip-flopped and my mouth felt dry. I just smiled at him and nodded. I knew I should say it right back to him, but I just didn't have the heart to do it. I couldn't really tell if he expected it or not, but I tried to ignore it. "Bye, Garrett. I'll write to you."
I felt a bit ill as I joined my parents. Why couldn't I keep up my façade and just tell Garrett that I loved him too? Of course it wasn't true, at least not in the way that he meant it, but I secretly felt like I was never going to love anyone else, so it didn't matter if Garrett thought I loved him. There didn't seem to be any harm in it.
Except that it was a lie. But still… it seemed like it shouldn't matter. As long as he believed I loved him, everything would be fine. And I would do my best to try and convince him of that fact. I just hoped my conscience wouldn't get in the way of what I believed was my only real chance of some sort of happiness. Was I being overdramatic? Perhaps. But that's how things looked to me.
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
A/N: I hope you liked this chapter! I had a bit of writer's block on the second half of it- I hope it's okay. Don't worry, I have plans for the next chapter so there should be no writers block there.