It took three hours to get to Tokyo from Osaka by train.
Mob didn't care. Mukai liked trains a lot. She was always asking to ride on them, which was very different from when she asked about the train to Busan. That was…something else. Something that she should not have seen. Something that Sho should not have shown her. Sho didn't always know best when it came to Mukai…
And neither did Mob.
"Mukai, don't sleep sitting up…" muttered Mob as she tried to lay Mukai down. She was going to hurt her back if she slept sitting up like that. They had practically the whole train car to themselves, she had let everyone else take a plane home since it was faster, and Mukai could have laid down if she'd wanted to. Mob would have taken her shoes off for her and everything. She was going to wake up with a sore back and then she was going to be in a bad mood and Mob…the last thing that Mob wanted was for Mukai to be in a bad mood.
She didn't want the last time she ever saw her little sister to be…to be like the first last time she ever saw her sister.
"Come on, you have to lay down now." whispered Mob. She wished that it hadn't been so hot out. Then she could have worn a hoodie. She could have folded it into a pillow for Mukai or put it over her like a blanket. But no, she was just in a shirt and skirt like normal. Sho had his usual jacket on but he couldn't take it off. He just had out a short sleeve shirt underneath and he didn't like it when people saw his scars. Not even Mob.
Mob didn't blame him.
She wondered if he blamed her. She should have taken better care of him. She shouldn't have let Dad take him to that horrible place. She shouldn't have let Dad do that, or any of the other horrible stuff, that he had done to Sho…she should have done more to stop him. She had been little then, just a kid, and she hadn't had any say in her family.
Now she had all the say.
Head of Tokyo HQ….she should have been happy. This meant that she could make the rules, that she wouldn't have to move all the time anymore, that she could do more to keep Sho safe. With Dad gone Sho would be able to do whatever he wanted to do. He could keep his hamsters in the house and he could curse…well she kind of didn't like it when he cursed but Dad absolutely hated it…and he could…um…well he still had to take baths, he didn't smell so good even at the best of times and right now it was summertime…but…but he didn't have to worry about Dad punishing him or yelling at him or making him feel like shoe gum anymore. She'd let Sho do whatever he wanted to do. She was never, ever, ever going to get mad at him for anything. Ever. She was going to be a good big sister.
She had to be a good big sister to one of her siblings.
"Come on Mukai, please? I'll give you a cookie if you lay down." Said Mob. She tried to lay Mukai down but Mukai just slapped her hand away. She was half asleep. She was so cute when she was half asleep…well she was cute all the time. She had been such a cute baby and now she was a cute little kid and then she would grow up to be a cute big kid and then…and then Mob wasn't sure what was going to happen…she was going to miss Mukai growing up. She was going to end up just like Mob, with no one to teach her things. What was going to happen when she liked someone? What if someone liked her but she didn't like him, or her, or them, or…or the person back. What if she got her period and thought that she was dying? What if she accidentally gotten pregnant with a Mukai…ko? That wasn't a name…wait…what if Mob had a baby and her baby had the same name that Mukai wanted for her baby? What if she stole Mukai's name? What if her baby had to go through life with a name that didn't fit? What if…wait, no, Mukai was three. She didn't have to worry about that yet. She would worry in nine or ten years, that was a good time to worry about having babies and stuff Mob decided. Mukai would probably meet a boy and fall in love with him by then…or a girl…or whoever. It was none of Mob's business.
It wasn't like she'd be around to…to help with all the important things…the things that she wished that her mom would have taught her….
"Let her sleep, if you wake her up now she's just going to start crying." Said Sho looking over his sketchbook. It was hard to draw the world as it went by when he was going this fast. The view from a plane window was easier to draw since it was just clouds…more boring, too. Drawings with a lot of color were more fun.
Like fish, they were fun to draw.
He went back to his drawing. Shiori had said that this was called a clownfish, not a Nemo. She also said that Finding Nemo wasn't very accurate and that they should have done more research about fish. She had also said that fish didn't raise their babies like humans did so the whole point of the movie was fundamentally flawed…she liked to complain. Maybe that was why Dad liked her so much. Maybe that was what they did together all day, they just sat around and complained about everything until they passed out and didn't, like, kiss or anything gross like that…
It was easier to like Dad's girlfriend when he forgot that she was, in fact, Dad's girlfriend.
Big Sis didn't like her for some reason. She would have, though, if she'd come to the aquarium instead of going to that stupid meeting with Dad. Sho had no idea what they'd talked about but Big Sis had been really quiet when they'd met up again. She hadn't even argued when Mukai insisted that they take the train…but maybe she had just been following Tsuchiya's lead. She had been really excited to get back to Tokyo. Sho didn't get why. Osaka wasn't that bad…it was hot but it wasn't that bad….
It could have been worse.
"She doesn't cry that much when she wakes up…I mean not like when she was a baby. Remember how she would cry all the time?" asked Mob
"Yeah, I remember. It sucked." Said Sho
"I don't think that it sucked. Remember how we used to take turns getting up to feed her when she was really little?" asked Mob
"When she'd cry so hard that she threw up? And then she'd be hungry but way too upset to eat?" asked Sho
"I remember that but…but also remember the time when she pointed at her bottle like she was asking for it and she looked at you and…and it was like she knew who you were? Like you were her brother…I mean you are her brother but she didn't know that when she met us…and we didn't know, actually…" said Mob
"We were kind of dumb back then." Said Sho. Really, he was. How could he have thought that Mukai was anything other than his little sister? She looked like him and acted like him and she even kicked in her sleep like he did…he wondered if his next little brother or sister would be like him. It might not have been that bad. He knew how to be a big brother, he was good at it, and…and he would protect his little brother or sister from Dad…and maybe Dad's girlfriend would help too. She knew what he was like….
She believed Sho about what Dad was like.
"We were…I can't believe we ever thought that she was our pretend sister." Said Mob
"Even if she didn't have our blood or whatever she still would have been our real sister." Said Sho
"You're right…and she always will be." Said Mob, wiping her eyes. She would always be Mukai's big sister and Sho would always be her big brother no matter where they went or what they did and…and it wasn't like…like Mukai was being taken away again. It wasn't like Fukuda was taking her off to parts unknown again…and if he tried then Mob would fire him.
She had that kind of power now.
She could, if she wanted to, fire Fukuda. She could point to the door and tell him that she didn't care where he went or what he did, he just had to get away from her and her brother and sister. She could…she had that kind of power now. She didn't…she didn't want him fired, though, just gone…far away. If she fired him then he would have died on the streets…so she could reassign him. She had that kind of power now…she had all kinds of power now. She had the power to send people away or…or to make them stay….
She could have made Mukai stay…she had that kind of power now….
"What did Dad do to you?" asked Sho, his eyes narrowed. Dad had something else coming if he thought that he could make Big Sis cry. He was going to do….to do something. He didn't know yet but he had all kinds of ideas….and lots and lots of hamsters. Dad was scared of hamsters and rats and mice….yeah…this was going to be good….well it was bad but it was going to be good.
"He promoted me." Said Mob softly. She looked down. She didn't know if Sho would be mad at her…he had every right to be. He was the boy and he was the one who should…but she had…she didn't know what she wanted…she kind of wanted Minegishi…so of course she didn't know what she wanted.
"Seriously? That's not a bad thing…I was going to put him in a box full of hamsters." Said Sho. Whatever. He didn't care. He was going to take Claw down anyway. So what if Big Sis had been promoted and he didn't even rank…he didn't want to rank! Dad hated him anyway so it wasn't like he had a chance…and Dad did hate him. Even his girlfriend could tell and when girls liked you they always thought good things about you even if you were a jerk and broke up with them over the phone.
"No you weren't." said Mob with a smile. She put her hand over her mouth. She shouldn't have been laughing…but the thought was just…how would Sho have even gotten Dad into a box in the first place?
"Was too. I really fucking was-I really was." Said Sho. Right. She didn't like cursing. Girls didn't like that for some reason….or maybe it was just adults.
"But how would you have even gotten Dad into the box?" asked Mob. She couldn't see how to get Dad into a box of any kind, how to trick him like that. She didn't know…maybe if Sho managed to get him stoned. He was weird when he was stoned…but then that would have been a waste of pen and her pen was dead…but she was the head of Tokyo HQ, she could have all the pens she wanted….but this whole thing was just for fun anyway.
"I would have…um…put an omelet in it and then when he went to get it out I would have pushed it in and taped it shut and then I would have…um…I guess that the hamsters would have had to be in there from the beginning…" said Sho
"But then how would you get the hamsters back? You love your hamsters." Said Mob. She didn't like how many hamsters Sho had, he had so many that she couldn't even remember their names, but she did like it when her little brother was happy. If he lost them all then he would have been so sad….and also Dad would have been super mad.
"Ham-hams…all the ham-hams…give me cookies…" muttered Mukai
"I hope she hasn't been eating the hamster cookies." Said Sho with a shudder. She ate gross stuff sometimes, like her boogers, but that was normal gross. Sometimes she ate other things, though, like when she kept food in her pockets or when she ate the hamster food…he hoped that Fukuda had been feeding his hamsters all of their meals and deserts...though Mukai looked too tired to go and eat their food anyway.
"Mukai likes cookies. She probably did…but she can have them if she wants to. I have that kind of power now…I mean I can get her cookies that haven't been chewed on by hamsters. I could get her whatever she asked for…and you too." Said Mob. If Mukai stayed then Mob could have given her whatever she wanted. She could have been the happiest person in the whole world…well she would have been tied with Sho. That was what you did when you loved someone, you gave them whatever they wanted so that they were happy all the time.
If anyone in the whole world deserved to be happy all the time then it was her little brother and sister.
"Because Dad promoted you?" asked Sho, trying not to sound or feel mad. He didn't care…he really didn't. He didn't even want a promotion or even a job. Dad had spent his entire life telling him who he had to be in order to run Claw and have a family blood dynasty thing…whatever! If Big Sis wanted the job then she could have it.
Claw was going to be gone soon anyway.
"Yeah….I run the Tokyo HQ…but don't freak out!" said Mob. She knew him. She knew that he wanted her job, he acted like he didn't care but he did, and…and he couldn't have it. Sho thought that being in charge was just being able to do whatever you wanted. Being in charge of a whole HQ meant having to take care of so many people…the Awakened and the Scars, too, and…and she'd have to meet with Division leaders and…and it was a lot more than when she'd been little. This was more than ordering extra jello cups for people. It was…it was a lot and Sho didn't need to worry about stuff like this. He was just a kid and he needed to stay a kid for as long as he could. He needed to be happy for as long as he could.
"Holy shit…holy fucking shit! Holy fucking dick sucking-" said Sho
"Sho! People are looking!" said Mob, looking around. This car was mostly empty, it had cleared almost all the way out by now, but there were still a few people and they probably didn't want to hear Sho cursing like that. It wasn't polite…but he liked to do it…but they did have to think about other people…
Being in charge was hard sometimes.
"Look…look at me…I have ham-hams…" said Mukai
"Sorry, sorry. It's just…that's…that's a lot. Did he say forever or until he got back from his girlfriend's house?" asked Sho
"Forever…and how did you know he was at his girlfriend's house?" asked Mob
"She told me so." Said Sho
"Wh…what?" asked Mob
"I met her at the aquarium. She's-" said Sho
"What did she say to you? What did she do to you? What did she…did she yell at you? Did she call you names? Did she say a bunch of words that you know what they mean on their own but when she put them together they made no sense?" asked Mob
"No…well yeah, she knows a lot of fish words…but she was ok. Kind of bossy and she talked way too much about fish but she's ok I guess. She's not as much of a bitch as you said." Said Sho
"I said witch." Said Mob
"You meant bitch. I know you." Said Sho
"Yeah…I kind of did…but she kind of is. She was mean to me and…and if she's ever mean to you then…then you shouldn't ever talk to her again. She's not our mom, remember that." Said Mob. They had a mom and…and she may have been gone but she was still their mom and…and she didn't need another one! Especially not one like…like that Shiori…person.
"She's ok." Said Sho with a shrug. She was a lady, sort of nice-ish, not what he'd been imagining. She was no mom but…but he didn't want her to be. What did he need another mom for? The first one running away had been hard enough on him already.
"No she isn't. She was mean to me and…and I don't want her to be mean to you. We have a mom." Said Mob
"No we don't." said Sho. They didn't have a mom. They had a lady who used to be their mom but then ran away from home. There was a difference. Fukuda had said that Mom loved them a lot and that she'd had a good reason for leaving but it couldn't have been a very good reason if she'd left in the first place!
"We do. I mean we had to come from somewhere." Said Mob. They had a mom…even though it might have been easier to be orphans. At least then they wouldn't have had any memories of her…or expectations. Mob used to want to cry when she thought about Mom but now…now she kind of wanted to cry, too, but cru-scream like when she got really mad. Mom had just…left…that was what moms did. Even Mukai's mom, the one who'd had her, had left…but she had Tsuchiya and she was a really good mom…even if she did agree that it was best to take Mukai away from the rest of her family. Mob couldn't move there, she was stuck in Tokyo, and she couldn't even take a day off and visit…no. She could never go to Seasoning City ever again…maybe if she moved the whole Seventh Division somewhere else then…she'd have to think about this some more.
"We don't! I mean…I mean we don't. I mean we did. We came from her but she's gone and…and I just said that she was ok, alright? I didn't say that she was going to be our new mom. I don't even want a new mom. You're mom enough for me, I guess. I don't need two people bossing me around." Said Sho
"I don't boss you around that much…just when I need to. Like when you go a long time without taking a bath and stuff…but I'll boss you around less now that I'm in charge. Without Dad around you can do more. I did a lot…I mean a lot of what I did was to keep Dad from getting mad at you." Said Mob
"…thanks, I guess." said Sho. It hadn't always worked, sometimes it seemed like Dad just looked for things to get mad at, but…well Sho…it was the thought that counted, he supposed. She didn't know what Dad was really like and she never would…he was glad that she was never going to know what Dad was like. Nobody needed to live through that. Nobody.
"You're welcome. I'm going to try and be less bossy now, since Dad's going to be gone for…I think forever but I'm not sure. He said that he was taking Hatori with him and he was finishing things up for…um…when it happened." Said Mob
"Did he say when, exactly, it was going to happen?" asked Sho. This was…he needed more guys. He was not going to freak out. He needed more guys and…and now that Big Sis had all of this power then he could maybe convince her to use it for good. Great power and responsibility and stuff. Maybe she could finally see it his way. If he'd been the one in charge, like he should have been, then he wouldn't have had to convince her of anything…that was why he wanted to be in charge. That reason and no other reason at all whatsoever.
"He didn't give me an exact day, but he said he wanted to finish in a year or two…so it won't be that long…but he'll probably be busy for a long time after the day comes. So….so that'll be good for you. If he's busy then you'll be safe." Said Mob softly. It was like their family was breaking apart again…but not as badly as before. At least she knew where all of the pieces were, now.
"That's not…that's not a long time at all…" said Sho. That wasn't enough time to get more guys…did Fukuda even know more guys? Sho knew that he didn't know anyone else and…he looked down at his sketchbook. He felt the rippy bits at the spirals…he should have done a better job tearing that picture for Dad's girlfriend out…but…but whatever. He was fine. He had this…
It wasn't like anybody else did.
That was what Fukuda didn't get. Sho was the leader here and if this went wrong then it was his fault. This was a lot to worry about. He didn't even know Dad's exact plan…he needed to find out. He needed a man on the inside…or a sister. That was…this was good. He wasn't scared. He wasn't going to fuck this up and get everyone killed. He wasn't going to make Dad mad enough that he finally killed Sho…he was going to do this. He was going to bring Claw down and then…and then…
When it was over then he could figure out what was would to happen next.
"Long time…long time ham-hams…over there…" said Mukai as she turned her head.
"Oh no, now this is worse…" said Mob as Mukai's whole head flopped over. Now her back and her neck were going to hurt…and there was nothing that Mob would do about it. If she tried to move Mukai then she would wake up and cry…but if she left her alone then her back would hurt…..there was so much that could go wrong either way…but she had to figure something out…she was the one in charge here.
"Just let her sleep. She needs it, you know how she gets when she's tired." Said Sho picking his pencil back up. He could draw Mukai, she was kind of cute right now…well she was cute all the time. She was the cutest, happiest, smartest, best little sister in the world…and he was going to make a world that was good for her. He was going to make a world where she would never have to be scared. He was going to make a world where she would never have to hide who she was. He was going to make a world where she was never going to have to wear a coat in the middle of summer. He was going to make a better world for her to live in…
He just had to destroy a little part of it first, that was all, and he could…somehow…
"Yeah…yeah I guess so. I don't want her to be upset right now. I want…" said Mob. She wanted Mukai's last days with her to be happy…not that she was dying or anything. She was just going away for a long time…but that was ok. She was going where she had picked and she was going to be with her mom, too. She was going to be happy and that was all that Mob wanted for her little sister…for both of her siblings. Their happiness.
If Mukai was happy sleeping slumped over then that was ok….though three hours of that might have been…a lot.