Calypse: Thank you for the reviews... and for those who think this is completely stupid and insane (sorry I'm insane, I cannot make a fic without it being insane) if you don't want to face me complaining, please do stuff it. My computer deleted most everything I had and I am not very happy. This chapter? Some of the misspelling were put there on purpose, others not. Note that I did not use spell check.

Chapter 2- HPHG The Misspelled

Today had been a excellent day as far as anyone could see, (No not Harry, his eyes are damned already.) the sky was an enchating shade of gold and red the color of Griffindor. (Though it might have been prettier if it was purple ne?)

He had already thrice defeated the evil warlock Draco Malfoy from abusing his friend Hermion Granger any more than nesessary. He had payed back the words by three times punching Malroy repeatedly in the chin. (If I was Harry and I was pissed, I would have gone for the face.)

Of course in a chain reaction Hermione kissed him passionatly her lips firmly locked onto his even past the point of them breathing. When they woke up they were in the halls where they fainted, a gabillion students had walked by never noticing a single one of them. (Sad, the boy who lived being trampled to death by students...)

Their Harry proceeded to proposed to Hermione producing a 200 galleon 30karet gold ring which he held out saying the words when... he belched. Luckily Hermione who was transfixed on the honking big diamond forgave and all who walked by never even spared them a glance.

Blushing slighty Harry said

"Hermione my love, your sweet voice has tempted me to do the undoable, will you marry me?" despite the fact that they had never gotten together in the first place Hermione squealed accepting the fact happily as Harry fought to fit the ring on her ring finger. Unfotunately Harry had underestimated Hermione's finger width and she had to wear it on her pinky.

Conveniently enough there was a ball to be held that night and Harry asked, "w..."

"Of course!" she squealed pushing Harry's face into her F-cup bust.

"I didn't even ask..." said Harry happily as she pranced away to get dressed.

-Night-

Hermione took care in dressing herself up, getting out an expensive, black satin dress from her bag, uncrumpled. And No, I don't know why she carries it around. Quickly looking around she began to strip... slowly.

First with the shoulders to look sexy if Harry tries to come pick her up early. (And this is why there are problems about teenage sex...) unfortunately her shirt was not a robe and she ended up shredding it to bits to take if off her along with her F-cup bra.

Then just as slowly she slipped in to her beautiful dress with all its glitteriness, diamonds sparkling against the moonbeam somehow coming from her window.

After her dress she began to do her hair, curling it up into an elegant bun. But when she tried to take her fingers off she found that she couldn't and she settled for just a niec plain and shiny.

Putting a dark lip gloss on her lips and licking it to taste the cherry flavor she proceeded to pu t her earings on her ears despite the fact that she never had them pierced and all that.

Finally after much hassle and none of her room mates coming up to dress themselves she went down to the dormitories to where Harry was waiting sexy in his black tuxedo. (ahh but where are the dress robes I wonder)

-Ball-

The ball was a grand feast where Harry and Hermione had no trouble claiming a empty tabel for two, and they went on talking lovingly, undesterbed for no one tried to talk to them.

Ron stopped by to congratulate Hermione and Harry when Hermione flashed her ring on her ring finger but disappeared just as quickly in a puff of smoke.

Pansy Parkinson stopped by as well gasping in rage as she held Draco closer in jealousy when Hermione stood up with Harry, her dress showing way too much cleaverage to be allowed in a PG-13 fic.

Hermione, now that we get a good look at her, was absolutely stunning in her dress of black fur imbedded with tiny 29karet diamonds. Her dress had slits that went nearly up to her hips but stopped just before showing her pantys. The dress was sleeveless and near transparent, giving all the school population a 'greath' view.

"You... you...!" sobbed Pansy pitifully as Draco went slack and drooled after the departing pair. But they disappeared to having no more purpose in this story than I have with intimate relationships between spiders and socks.

"Shall we dance?" said Harry as the full dance floor made a room for them disappearing as well.

"we shall." Said Hermione sweetly jigglying her enormous breasts as romantic music began to play witht hem matching to the beat.

The whole dance was wonderful and magical for the authoress said so too lazy to type out the whole thing. They went to the lake escaping the eyes of there peers (there were none mind you) standing by the shore as Hermione slipped for she was hot... evne though it was... what winter? Oh hell make it summer... umm wait that's like break right? Whatever, the sun was magically flipped around changing the weather of the hemespheres.

Harry joined her stripping down to his boxers whiel she swam around leasurely still in her dress. By now the dress was tightfitting and useless because you could see through the material.

"I love you so much." Said Harry breathlessly as he placed his hand on her butt groping her ass and basically feeling around.

He began to ge hard tearing off her dress as she 'helped' tearing off the expensive material to let it sink to the bottom.

Basically they had underwater sex after discovering that Hermion ahd forgotten to put on her underwhere and bra.

Later the Merfolks complained of profanity in the water traumatizing the giant squid.

Later they found that hermione was pregnatn but that was much later.

Later Harry and Hermione got married and lived happily ever after without the author interfering... right.