Chapter three

"I have something to do, and I want both of you to stay at home. I'll go for all day long, from dawn 'til evening. Don't wait for me," he said rapidly while he was preparing his documents.

Shinji, the doubted teen sneaked a look to his father.

'Sometimes it feels better when you're not here, Father,'

"But you got to got to go to school. You better take care of your self now, Shinji" Gendou snapped in hurry. Shinji frowned and went from the door side, the place where he peeped over her father. "Rei," Gendou called the girl's name calmly. Hearing that name, he stopped for a while and peered at her father.

"Yes," a blue-haired girl came towards him and gave him his coat. He heard his father murmured "thank you," and kissed her cheek. Then he said something he wasn't able to hear. 'They both are just like husband and wife…' he thought in his heart. Then Ayanami accompanied him 'til he reached the main entrance of that house.

"Bye," Gendou muttered slowly, and got into the car, left her.

She was waving her hands and smiling that time. Then she came into the house when the car had gone from the yard. She found Shinji was standing there, just about few meters from her. Her smile was gone and her face turned cold again.

"We better hurry if we don't wanna attend our class late," she said icily.

Shinji was a little bit anxious, but he could hide it right.

"You're right," he answered.

She just nodded a little, and walked besides him, left him without taking a glance or glimpsing, passed him. Shinji gazed at her when she had penetrated. 'Why she is so icy to me, but she can be a kind and nice person to my father? To that monster? Nothing I can understand here…' he mumbled in curiousness in his heart.

Then he sighed and went to his room, wanted to take his school bag when he saw Ayanami was ready that time.

"Wait for me, just a minute. I'll get my bag first," he said.

The girl didn't say anything or even nod, just keep staring at him. She was seeing him stride to his room until he's out of view.

She sighed. "What do you mean with this…?" she whispered very slowly to herself so the wind could blow her words out, 'til no one could hear her.

"I'm ready now. Let's go to the subway station," he smiled and spoke friendly. "Or we'll be late," he continued.

For a moment, he hoped a smile from those lips, but he could find nothing there.

"Let's go then," she said calmly and walked to the door.

"Yo…what have you done with her?" a voice hissed on his ear. Shinji knitted his eyebrows and show an interrupted face.

"What do you mean, Suzuhara?" he asked his friend suspiciously.

Toji shrugged shoulders and glimpsed at Kensuke menacingly. A naughty smile covered his lips.

"Well, as I know you don't live with Soryuu anymore and that fact absolutely upsets her," Kensuke said while he was writing something.

"Ha-ha-ha, you don't know what disaster it was, living with that barbarian girl," he muttered lazily and laid his head on the table. He was sleepy and he would like to prefer sleeping than following the lessons that day.

"Well, at least you have tasted living with such a beautiful girl, even that we know her attitude was horrible. Now you're living with Ayanami, right?" Toji asked again.

"Yeah, I live with her," he answered slowly.

"I still imagine the life you lived with Asuka. It seemed like Beauty and the Beast. She's the beauty and you're the beast, Shinji. Ha-ha-ha, " Kensuke mocked at him.

Shinji smirked. "Yeah, and no longer the beauty will kill the beast if the beast doesn't run away from that house of malice and save his life," he uttered.

"No wonder, it's believable, since we all know that Asuka is pretty but she's a kappa too. She can kill at least ten men with one hit," Toji talked sleepily. "And by the way, the lesson will be started in few minutes from now," he continued.

And suddenly, all of them felt a bad aura behind them.

"Toji, I notice that your tongue gets wagging now….Ha…do I have to stop it?" a sly voice went on. It's absolutely frightening.

Toji turned his face and found an angry tiger was standing in front of him.

"He…" he murmured with a stubborn grin.

"Don't worry, I'll tell your family that you got to stay in hospital for few days," Kensuke grinned.

And soon a fighting conversation between both of them started. Asuka's voice was replied by Toji's voice. They both were fighting like children. Actually, Shinji wanted to enjoy their battle and laugh because of their craziness, but his eyes were on a girl…

An aquatic-haired girl…sitting alone at the corner of classroom, looking out through the window. Nobody was there to talk with her. Nobody was interested to know her more. Suddenly he felt lonely…he knew he wasn't lonely. There were Toji, Kensuke, and Asuka around him, but seeing her lonely, just musing something didn't comfort him.

She wanted her to have some friends too.

So, he strolled steadily to her, he had collected nerve to offer himself as a friend for her. Just before he could reach her, the teacher came into the class. "What the hell is going on, here? Don't you guys ready to study?" the old man fixed his glasses' place.

He felt disappointed and went back to his chair when the chairman ordered "Stand up! Greeting!"

But at that point, he recognized that Rei glimpsed at him when he took his chair and ready to sit. Those ruby orbs seemed tried to catch even a his shadow.

He sat on his chair, and read his book. The girl, Rei…looked at him for few seconds with sharp ruby scarlet, before she opened the book and read it too.

It was in the evening when Shinji was sitting in front of the fire place. It was fall that time. The red-dry leaf fell from the trees and flew to the four of winds. He was heating himself by the warm orange fire that flaming in that fireplace. The smoke got out through the chimney. He tried to warm his hands and put more wood to the fire.

'I can't believe this. Father has a lot of money, so I think he has enough money to repair this fireplace. It's still using wood and traditional. Why didn't he buy the modern one so I don't have to put some wood inside every fifteen minutes,' he grumbled.

Right while he was rubbing his hands each other in order to search for the warmth, Rei came to his place. She's still wearing her uniform while Shinji had exchanged his clothe. She sat next to him and toasted herself too. For a moment, there's nothing except the breaths and the warmth. No talks, no contacts each other…

"Why don't you get nearer to the fire? It'll be much better," he said suddenly. Ayanami stole a glance at him. "I think so," then she moved nearer to the fire. Sometimes Shinji peeked at her, admired her beauty but it seemed he couldn't go the distance.

"Do you still remember something about your mother?" suddenly she asked. Shinji was a little bit shocked and looked at her face, but he could find nothing than an icy view. "No…" he answered with a murmur. "I was too young," he continued. He remembered some implicit moment, but it didn't help. Plus, he was surprised suddenly Rei asked something that out of her duty.

"Do you want to know more about your mother?" she muttered slowly. Shinji smiled and laid his eyes on the flaming fire in front of them. "Did she know you?" he mused calmly. "More than you thought before," Rei talked softly that time. He stole a glance at her. "What do you think she was?" he felt interested in that subject.

"She was a beautiful woman. A very beautiful woman that had successfully made your father crazy of her," she began to talk. "But she's powerful too. She's so strong behind her beauty and softness, you would find an incredible power and strength," she continued.

"She was the light after the dark. She was the hope after Second Impact, but what I cannot understand 'til now is…how can it be…the hope that showed us the way out from second impact…turned into the third impact herself…" Shinji took a look of her confusedly, didn't understand. "I don't get it well," he said. Rei just smiled a little, her eyes got more splinted when she smiled. She just answered "You will…someday…"

He understood that there's something great….something great and also terrible behind those shits of NERV plan. "Rei…" he called her name again, softly. Rei peeked at him. "What again, Ikari?" she asked calmly. Shinji had to collect his nerve before he dared to ask this to her. "What I can't understand 'til now is…why can you stand to be with my father…I mean…he's a cold-hearted monster," he started to kill the curiousness in his heart.

It took a long time before she answered that question.

"What you see now Shinji, is not the real me,"

"I live because I can borrow some of your mother's soul. I live because your father gave me an access to do that…And your father let me be here, in this world, in order to relive your mother back…"

He frowned.

"You don't understand it now, Shinji. But the conclusion is, I live as the substitution of your mother here. I'm not more than a shadow from the past," she continued.

"And you let yourself being swallowed by the past, Rei? I think you have many significant differences with my mother. So I think you don't have to worry about that. You are Ayanami Rei. You're not my mother. My mother was Ikari Yui, not Ayanami Rei," Shinji tried to cheer her up. But he realized that nothing changed in her. She was still quiet and musing something. "Do you ever wish to be her? Why do you let my father treat you as my mother?" he murmured inquisitively. Rei sighed.

"Yes…I wish to be her…and I'm glad your father treats me like herI wanna be her…I realize that your father loves her, not me. If it's the only way I can live with him, I'll take it. I'll do anything to please him…I can stand being with him because he already has my heart…"

Silence…

"And I'm happy being like this…" she finished her state.

NERV base, in the evening, almost midnight.

The telephone was ringing there…A guy took it.

"Hello…" he murmured.

"Fuyutsuki…this is Kaji" a voice went on.

"Anything there, Kaji?"

"It's about Commander Ikari. I think he will be disappeared for a quiet long period,"

"What? Why can it be?"

"SEELE…" he said disguisedly.

"…..I understand…"

Gendou's residence, where Rei and Shinji were in front of the fireplace.

"Do you know what he said this morning to me?" she asked slowly. Shinji remembered that there's something his father whispered on her ears that he couldn't hear…

"What is it?" he wanted to know it…

"He said…'don't wait me home'…" Rei muttered slowly and Shinji could smell sadness in her voice.

"Just that?" he wrinkled. That time he thought that it's not important.

"Don't you know the meaning of that?" she doubted his unsurprised face.

"He'll go for a long time," he shrugged his shoulders and tried to crack the code she gave.

Rei sighed and laid her head on the wall. She embraced her knees even tighter than before.

"I wonder when will you be as smart as your parents…I'll wait for that…"

a/n

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