Fish weren't nearly as cool as hamsters.
Hamsters were furry, friendly, and they loved you. Fish just Kind of scared to chew. They swam and they stared and they stared and they swim and sometimes they press their faces up against the end of the bowl. He had no idea why Fukuda had bought these things. He already had hamsters and one cat, what did you need to fish for? And if he was going to get fish why did he get them such a tiny bowl? When you took care of an animal it was like taking care of another person but better because it could never leave you. If something was never going to leave you then you at least had to make it comfortable.
Really, it wasn't complicated.
'Watch the PH balance. Don't let it get above 8 ½ unless you like dead goldfish.'
Ok, so maybe it was kind of complicated. Dad's girlfriend seemed to think that it was, anyway. She'd been telling him all morning about how to best take care of fish. She liked them, he didn't know why, but at least she like animals. That meant that she was a good person really deep down in her guts. Sure she liked Dad but if Sho knew anything about girls it was that they were really weird. He didn't know why she liked Dad, she had said a bunch of times already that he wasn't holding her prisoner, and if she didn't need help then he didn't care.
She liked animals, that was what mattered, even if she did make everything way too complicated.
"Fukuda! Hey, Fukuda!" shouted Sho. His hamsters started to run away, some better than others. Some of them were getting fat again he hoped that it wasn't because of babies. He liked baby hamsters but…well they grew up and then they made more babies and then those babies made babies and eventually the whole habit was just hamster families. Hamsters deserved families but…well he had twenty six of them already…
And the tank was getting kind of cramped.
"Hey! Fukuda!" shouted Sho again. He'd make it up to them. He'd bring them lots of lettuce and tiny pancakes, not big pancakes cut up those were different, and then he'd read to them and give them all lots of pets. That was what you did when something depended on you. You made it happy. You didn't make it feel bad about itself, you didn't make it cry, and you didn't hit it. Nope. He had never once hit any of his hamsters. Even when they bit him.
He loved them and when you loved something you took care of it.
"Fukuda!" shouted Sho. The fish swam away…sort of. The bowl was way too small for them. Shiori had said that they needed twenty gallons to be comfortable but a hundred gallons if you were serious about them. You also had to fill their tank with plants that they liked and also there were bugs and things you could get to feed them. Sho could catch his own bugs and find his own plants, or ask Big Sis to grow them but not Minegishi since they sucked, but he couldn't make his own tank…or figure out what PH meant. This was important. Fukuda probably knew, he was the one who'd gotten these fish in the first place.
You couldn't just get a pet if you didn't love it…if you didn't want to take care of it. That wasn't how it worked.
"Fuku-" shouted Sho
"Coming!" said Fukuda, the house shaking as he ran downstairs. Sho reached over and stuck his finger in the fish water. She had said that it didn't matter that much what temperature the water was, just that it wasn't too hot or too cold…but he didn't know what counted as too hot or too cold. He mostly just knew how to take care of things with fur. Things with fur could keep warm on their own…but he could figure this out. He would figure this out.
These fish loved him and he was going to do whatever he could to keep them alive.
"What is it? What's wrong? What-" asked Fukuda as he nearly tripped over Sho's hamster tubes. He caught Fukuda with his powers and put his down on the couch. He needed to learn to be more careful…or maybe it would have been better if Sho took them hamsters home with him…
With Dad gone then he could.
"'What does PH mean?" asked Sho, reading the text again.
"You can lift me now? Sho, that's amazing-" said Fukuda. Sho didn't want to hear anymore.
"Yeah, I know. Anyway, what does PH mean?" asked Sho quickly.
"How acidic or basic something is." Said Fukuda. That…told him nothing. Wasn't all water basic? Well not the fancy kind, or the kind that was pretty much soda but without the bubbles, or the kind that was soda but without the syrup, or the kind with the bugs at the bottom of the bottle….and what…why did it have acid in it? Was some water actually acid? Was someone switching water with acid? That was…in Sho's head it sounded kind of like a good prank, but then people would die and pranks where people died weren't funny at all.
It didn't matter what Shimazaki thought.
"Why would the water have acid in it? Even I don't think that's funny." asked Sho
"I'm…confused." Said Fukuda after what felt like a whole minute. Sho rolled his eyes. What was so confusing about that? Sometimes water had acid in it, apparently, and acid killed things. That was the first rule of acid.
"Shiori said that I need to make sure that the PH doesn't go above eight and a half." Said Sho
"Right. Shiori." Said Fukuda
"Yeah, her. She's been telling me fish stuff." Said Sho
"Alright, that's…you know that you can just Google things, right? You don't have to talk to that woman." Said Fukuda
"I know that I don't have to but it's alright…she's ok. She gets up early and stuff and she doesn't have anyone to talk to. Well she said that she talks to her cat but cats don't talk back…and anyway if she didn't want to talk to me then she'd tell me to fuck off." Said Sho. He couldn't remember the last time someone knew had wanted to talk to him. The only people who had ever cared what he had to say had been Mom, and she was gone, and Fukuda, but he thought that Sho was still a baby, and also Shimazaki, but they hadn't hung out in a long time, and also Big Sis but she…well there weren't any 'buts' there. They had just been talking to each other since they had been able to talk.
"She had better not tell you to fu…to leave her alone in an impolite way. If she ever does I want you to promise that you'll tell me, alright? She has no right to talk to you like that." Said Fukuda. He said it like he was holding a lemon on one side of his mouth, an orange in the other, and also someone had stuck bees under his skin…that had been a good movie…didn't look as good as in real life.
"She doesn't tell me to fuck off. She actually wants to talk to me and shit." Said Sho
"I want to talk to you, Sho. I'm always up to talking to you no matter what it is." Said Fukuda. He reached over and put his hand on Sho's shoulder. He'd done that a bunch of times before. Sho knew what it meant. I'm here, I've got you….well Sho didn't need anyone to have him. He had himself. With Dad gone forever he was fine. He was better than fine, he was perfect!
He didn't need anyone to have him. He didn't need to feel this way anymore.
"I know, you've said it before. I can talk to you about anything…do you know anything about fish? Because that's what I want to talk about." Said Sho. He had nothing to talk about. Dad was gone. He was all better now. That was it, there wasn't anymore.
"I know that…they live in water." Said Fukuda with a laugh. Sho didn't know what was so funny.
"Duh. They're fish. It's fine, Shiori knows a lot more than you do and she likes talking to me…but only for a little bit because she has to get ready for her day. She says that she's taking vengeance on someone. She does that sometimes." Said Sho. That was kind of cool, that she took her own vengeance and stuff. Dad had other people take his vengeance for him like a coward.
"What could she possibly have to take vengeance over?" muttered Fukuda. He said that the same way he said things about Big Sis. Maybe Fukuda just didn't get along with girls. There had been guys like that when he'd been in school, guys without sisters, or guys that didn't like their sisters. The kind of guys who were all 'no girls allowed' to all girls, not just the ones who played catch and kiss. Was that what had happened to Fukuda? He got chased by girls too many times and now he didn't know how to be friends with them anymore?
Fukuda parents should have thought it through better when they'd decided to only have one kid.
"She didn't say. When I asked her she told me that it was none of my business and to keep it to fish or she was hanging up….which was kind of weird because you can't hang up a text." Said Sho
"Sho…this whole thing is kind of…not usual. Unusual. You don't normally get this close to new people so quickly." Said Fukuda
"I don't know a lot of new people, you know that." Said Sho. He was around people all the time, like when he went outside and stuff. Tokyo was the biggest city in the whole country after all. He didn't actually meet them, though. Not new people and not people in Claw, either. The last new person that he'd met, before Dad's girlfriend, had been Ritsu….and Ritsu's friend who Sho couldn't think up a good enough name for…and before that the last new person that he'd met had been Mukai. Tsuchiya didn't count because he'd sort of met her the first time he'd gone to the Seventh Division.
"You…well you could. With your Dad away for a little bit you can take this as a chance to maybe meet some other people. Kids. Kids your own age. Kids who-" said Fukuda.
"Do you want to come to the fish store with me?" asked Sho quickly. He didn't want to talk about this. He didn't want to be friends with kids his own age. He didn't know any kids his own age and…and even if he did meet some then…then what would he even say? Or do? Or even…he didn't need friends his own age. He had a sister, who he saw every single day, and a boyfriend, who he never saw but was still his boyfriend and…and that was enough for him!
He didn't need any more friends.
"-are like…sure, Sho, if that's what you want. I think that they're happy in that bowl, though." Said Fukuda
"Shiori says that they need at least twenty gallons, so they can be happy." Said Sho
"I don't think that fish feel those kinds of feelings." Said Fukuda
"Fish have feelings the same as any other animals. Just because something doesn't look like it has feelings doesn't mean that-that they don't! And anyway these fish love me and I have to take care of them because-because I never asked them to love me but they do and when someone-something loves you then-" said Sho. He was standing up, now, at some point he'd stood up. His hamsters were squealing now, freaking out, and…and he kind of…he was mad and…
And he didn't want to be.
"Ok, ok, ok. Fish have feelings too." Said Fukuda, both of his hands in the air like he was surrendering. Like he thought that Sho was going to kill him or something. He wasn't. He wasn't Dad. He didn't just…just beat people up until they couldn't breathe because he was pissed off.
"They do…so…so get dressed and come with. We don't have a lot of time before they start to die. Shiori says-" said Sho
"I'm sure that we can figure it out on our own without asking Shiori for help." Said Fukuda, doing that thing he did where he tried not to look pissed off but he was actually super pissed off.
"Don't be weird about her too. You're weird about Big Sis and…just…girls are crazy. They're crazy and weird and sometimes they chase you and kiss you and sometimes they're kind of cool and…and yeah, it's weird how they take so many baths and they talk about weird stuff, too, and I don't get their manga and dresses don't make good clothes since people can look up them if you try and climb and-and-and it's just…quit being weird, ok? You're weirder than Dad sometimes and he's the weirdest person in the world.
"I'm not acting strangely. I'm just…it's a little concerning that she's taken a liking to you. It's also a little strange that you're talking to her. I mean I know that this is hard for you, it must be. Talking to the woman who's replacing your mother-" said Fukuda
"Shut up. She's not trying to be my mom. I know that I have a mom and I don't want to talk about her, ok?! She left. She left and…and it's not like she's here and…and it doesn't matter. I don't care. If she doesn't want to be my mom then I don't want…I don't want any mom at all." Said Sho. He meant it…he knew that he meant it….he didn't 'not' mean it. He didn't want to…to have a mom that didn't love him. That didn't care about him…she hadn't cared….she must not have cared. If she had cared about him then…then she would have stayed. She would have taken him with her. She would have at least…at least left him her phone number. She knew about cats and he had a cat and…and there were probably other cat things that he needed to know and…and…
And he didn't want to…if his own mom didn't want to…he didn't need a mom who didn't love him enough to even say goodbye.
"You know she loves you, Sho, you know that. She loved-loves you with all her heart and-" said Fukuda
"If she loved me so much then she would have taken me with, then she would have said something, then she would have…I don't need a Mom. I have a…a sister who loves me and another sister who loves me and…and ok, Mukai's really little and stuff but…but she loves me and…and it all balances out. I have a big sister and a little sister and…and that's two people. That balances out for Mom and Dad not loving me." Said Sho. Fukuda got up and tried to hold Sho, tried to do that thing where he grabbed Sho's shoulders and told him that everything was going to be alright or…or whatever.
He pushed Fukuda away.
"She loves you…and you Dad loves you…they just love you in their own way…" said Fukuda
"I don't want them to love me in their own way. I just want…why can't they love me in the normal way? The way where…where she didn't leave and…and anyway Dad doesn't even love me. I don't think he loves anyone. Not his kids, or at least not me, and not his friends, and not…not even you, probably, since he left you behind and all." Said Sho
"Your Dad and I are…still going through a rough patch." Said Fukuda. He was making fists, now, but his aura was still…he was making it still. What was he so mad about? What did he even care about? He said that he cared about Sho but if he really cared about Sho then he would have left Dad or…or let him die, even, all those times he got hurt…all those times people's hits had actually managed to land…bullets…bombs…all of that stuff. It would have been easy. Dad trusted Fukuda for a long time, longer than Sho had even been alive, and…and Fukuda had never once taken his shot.
"You should tell him to go fuck himself." Said Sho, his eyes meeting Fukuda's. That was what Sho would have done if he'd been in Fukuda's place. He would have told Dad to go fuck himself and then he would have let him die. When he got shot, when there were bombs, when….when he'd had that heart attack. Fukuda'd had so many chances…why hadn't he taken them?
"Sho! Language!" said Fukuda. Sho rolled his eyes so hard he thought that they were going to roll out of his head. The fish were pressing their faces up against the side of their bowl. He wondered if they were rolling their eyes too. Did their eyes even roll? Fukuda would have known…or maybe Shiori, since she knew a lot about fish.
"Dad's gone and he's never coming back, I can say whatever the fuck I want." Said Sho, trying to make himself taller. His body did that without him even realizing it. He didn't need to be taller, though, he was stronger and…and it wasn't like Fukuda would have fought him anyway!
Sho was being an idiot.
"First of all your Dad might be gone but I'm still here and second of all he's coming back. He's done this before, you know he has. He's coming back and-and you know how he is." said Fukuda. Sho made himself small. He unsquared his shoulders and untensed his whole body. He wasn't going to fight Fukuda. He wasn't going to hurt Fukuda. Fukuda wasn't going to hit him, either. They loved each other and even if…even if they fought it didn't mean that they were going to start fighting each other or anything like that.
"Not this time, he officially put Big Sis in charge forever and that means that I can say whatever the hell I want. I don't know why adults care so much anyway. Adults can say whatever they want and nobody tells them off." Said Sho. They'd had this fight before…this fight was better than having a real fight…and anyway it was worth it. Sho could say whatever he wanted now. He was free and…and stuff like that. Dad was gone forever, even if Fukuda was in denial.
"Sho…when was the last time you heard me curse?" asked Fukuda. He did that thing where he sighed and looked really disappointed…it wasn't a good look…but he didn't need to be disappointed. Sho had a lot of things disappointing about him and…and Sho was disappointed in himself enough so it all balanced out.
"Uh…I don't know when the last time was but one time you told the cat to fuck off when it tried to climb you like a tree." Said Sho, trying to smile. Trying to make his outsides make his insides better…he hated his insides sometimes.
"Well…those were extenuating circumstances. I know that you've picked up some habits from the people around you but please, please try and be better than that. You know that you're better than that." Said Fukuda. Sho rolled his eyes. He hated it when Fukuda did that tone, the 'I know better than you' tone that he'd been using since Sho had been a kid.
"I'm not a little kid anymore. You don't have to talk to me like one." Said Sho
"I'm not trying to treat you like a little kid. You're right, you aren't a little kid anymore. You're nearly a teenager and…well you have your own feelings about things. That's just the way it works. I just want you to…I just want to make sure that you're making the right choices in life. It's easy, Sho, easier than you'd think to start off down a bad path. It's just one step and then another and another and then, before you know it, you're…in a place like this." said Fukuda softly. Sho looked around. He could think of worse places a person could have been than a tiny Tokyo house. Like a traitor hole. Or a grave. Or a bowl that was too tiny, too cold, and full of acid water.
"The only path I want to go down is the one to the fish store so either come with me or don't." said Sho
"I'll come with you, just let me get dressed and…and make a phone call first, ok?" asked Fukuda
"Fine, but you have until I come back here with Mukai and it might not be a long time if she's feeling like being a good listener today." Said Sho before he picked up his phone, put his shoes on, and left. He had to hurry. Maybe. Mukai was usually up this early, she might have been nocturnal, but that didn't mean that she'd be in a good mood. There wasn't any real guarantee that Mukai was going to be a good listener, actually she was a pretty bad listener most of the time, but maybe this would be one of those days where she'd be dressed already and her shoes would be on and she'd be ready to go on an adventure with him. The fish store was kind of like an adventure, right? Kind of like a mini aquarium maybe. Was there any aquarium around here? Mukai would have liked that right?
Maybe.
Fish were ok. They weren't hamsters, and they took a lot more work than hamsters, but they were…ok. Some of them looked kind of cool, the tropical ones, but Shiori said that keeping tropical fish was a lot of work. She had mini coral reef she was working on and she said that it took up more time than it was worth. Sho didn't really get that. When you loved something then why did it matter how much time it took up?
Sho loved Mukai and he would have waited all morning for her.
He was prepared to wait all morning for her to wake up, get dressed, and eat breakfast. He didn't have to, though. No, the very first thing he'd heard when he made it to her house was her voice. She was laughing. That was always good. Her laughing covered up the sound of Tsuchiya and Shibata fighting in the yard. Their voices carried, especially Tsuchiya. He would have thought that Shibata would have been the louder one but, no, she won the fight a long time ago. She was just rubbing it in Shibata's face now.
It was a good distraction.
Tsuchiya might have done that thing where she decided that Mukai'd had enough fun for one day or week or year or lifetime. She didn't like it when Mukai had too much excitement but that made no sense at all. Little kids loved excitement! They got bored the easiest out of everyone else in the world, even Shimazaki, and that meant that you had to do whatever you could to entertain them. To keep them happy.
When you loved someone you did whatever you could to make them happy.
"…sure you want more…" Serizawa agreed. Sho could tell as he walked into the kitchen. Mukai had a mixing bowl full of cereal in front of her. It looked like she'd done cereal buffet without him. There was the raisin kind that Minegishi liked because they sucked, the chocolate puff that Shimazaki liked because he was awesome, the plain cornflakes that Tsuchiya liked because she was boring like Dad, and the Nintendo ones that Serizawa ate because sometimes he could be kind of cool. Only sometimes. He at least got the fact that Mario made some of the best cereal.
So long as you picked the marshmallows out before you ate it.
"More! Give me more!" shouted Mukai as she banged her ladle against the table. Milk and cereal pieces flew everywhere. Serizawa gasped and immediately started pouring more Mario cereal into the bowl even though it was nearly full to the top. Mukai shouldn't have been playing cereal buffet on her own, you just ended up with a lot of wasted cereal by then. Milk too, and she did not want Big Sis to see her wasting milk.
"Let her eat the cereal she has before you give her more." Said Sho, taking the box out of Serizawa's hands with his powers. Serizawa gasped and threw himself against the counter like Sho had stabbed him or something. What was he so afraid of all the time? Ok, yeah, Sho could have easily taken him but he wasn't going to try. They were friends, sort of, and anyway it wasn't like Big Sis was ever going to let anything happen to him.
"Sho! Good-good morning! Do you want some breakfast? I think there's enough for you too." Said Serizawa. Sho looked at the mess on the table. There was enough for the whole Tokyo HQ and probably one of the Divisions too. Less, though, if Shimazaki showed up….Sho couldn't feel him…but that didn't matter. He had a mission and the mission couldn't wait for anything.
"Sho's here, Seri, over there!" said Mukai as she pointed at him with her ladle. A bunch more milk and cereal went flying out. He put up a barrier, fast. He'd just taken his weekly bath, he wasn't about to take another one. He could stand to smell like not bathing but sour milk was just too much even for him.
"It-it doesn't have to be cereal. I know how to make toast, too, and…um…I can try to make you waffles if you want. Shibata said that I could use his waffle iron as long as I kept it away from Shimazaki but I don't think that it's going to be hard since-since he's been gone for a while and I don't know when he's going to come back and-" said Serizawa, gasping by the end of it. Sho didn't know how Big Sis could deal with this every single day. Maybe this was why she'd left him behind.
"Ryou went away…no cereal for him." Said Mukai, pulling the bowl closer to herself. She sloshed milk all down the front of her pajamas.
"I-I can save him some. I mean it's going to get soggy but I've seen him eat weirder things-" said Serizawa
"Shimazaki doesn't like cereal and milk, he just likes it plain like I do…does Big Sis know that you're wasting this much cereal and milk?" asked Sho
"She doesn't, she left without me and…and it's not a waste. Mukai asked for it. Well Tsuchiya told me to watch her and then she was hungry so I asked her what she wanted and then she said that she wanted cereal and then I asked her what kind and then she asked me to get her all the kinds of cereal in a big bowl and this was the biggest bowl that I could find and she needed a big spoon to go with the big bowl-" said Serizawa
"Ladle! This is a ladle!" said Mukai, ladling more cereal and milk across the kitchen. Sho put up a barrier but that only made her try again, this time with even more cereal and milk to paint across his barrier. It hit the barrier and slid down onto the ground. Sho was glad that he wasn't the one who had to clean it up. Serizawa was taking steps away from it, now, like he was afraid that it was acid…well technically anything could be acid if the PH was high enough…though he didn't know what made something basic….
Plain milk was just basic, right? Because there wasn't any chocolate or strawberry in it.
"It-it-it's a ladle but…but maybe you shouldn't ladle your food all over the ground. Maybe that's not…not the best thing to do…" said Serizawa
"Yes it is! This is the best thing ever! Here, you try!" said Mukai. She held out the ladle. Serizawa shook his head. Sho reached over and took the ladle out of her hands before she could make any more of a mess. Tsuchiya and Shibata were mad enough, it had sounded like, and he didn't want to give them anymore of a reason to argue. He had no idea what they were arguing about but it must have been bad enough already.
"Mukai, cereal buffet is only fun when you have other people to play cereal buffet with." Said Sho
"Play with me! Play cereal with me, Sho! Please and thank you!" said Mukai
"Come on, Mukai, you made enough of a mess. You want to get dressed and then go on an adventure with me…uh…and Serizawa, if he wants to come with." Said Sho. He could feel Serizawa watching him. He didn't really want to have to babysit him and Baby Sis at the same time but Big Sis wouldn't have wanted him to be mean to her…best friend? Second best friend?
Guy she hung out with a lot?
All the time, they hung out all the time and…and Sho knew what it was like to always hang out with someone and then that person didn't want to hang out with you anymore and…and he got it. He knew what it was like, too, when you didn't have anyone to hang out with. Hatori was gone and Big Sis was working. Serizawa must have been so lonely…he must have felt like Sho did back when it had just been him, Big Sis, and Minegishi. It was hard not having friends. Sho at least had people he could talk to now, Serizawa didn't really have anyone…
Sho wasn't Dad. He could be nice to people.
"I…I don't know…I don't really go places without Miss Suzuki…" said Serizawa
"I wouldn't let anything happen to you." Said Sho. He wasn't as strong as Big Sis but he could at least keep his friends safe…yeah…that was what Serizawa was, Sho's friend. Even if they didn't hang out that much they were still friends.
"Keep you safe, Seri, keep you safe…now drink the ladle!" shouted Mukai
"I…I would like to…to come with, if you wanted me to. If you're just inviting me because you think that you have to, sometimes people feel like that, then you don't have to. I have things to do today…um…nothing important but…but if it's important to me then it's important, Miss Suzuki said so and-" said Serizawa
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know my sister's awesome and shit. Just get dressed and meet me by the door. You have until I get Mukai dressed." Said Sho. He reached out with his powers and picked Mukai up. She tried to fight him with her powers, and her feet, but he was stronger. His powers were stronger, strong enough that he could shrug her off, and strong enough that he could keep her too far away to kick him. He didn't get what she was so upset about. What, did she want to spend the rest of her life smelling like sour milk?
Well he wasn't going to let her.
He knew what it was like when people told you that you needed a bath, that you smelled bad, that…well he wasn't going to say that to Mukai…and he wasn't going to make it so that other people wanted to say that to her, too. He wasn't going to let her spend the day in milk pajamas. She had a lot of clothes to wear, there had to have been something that she liked…
If he could even find anything.
Tsuchiya looked like she'd been doing some spring cleaning…in summer. Big Sis did this sometimes, she went through all of their clothes and got rid of the stuff that didn't fit anymore….she didn't put their stuff in suitcases though…were they moving again? Or maybe she was unpacking? He didn't know and he didn't think that Mukai knew either. He, they, had a mission to accomplish. They couldn't afford to get distracted like this. He had fish that needed him, fish that were stuck in a bowl that was too small and…and too cold and…and they couldn't breath or…or get out…
It was dark….
"Sho! Put me down! Over there!" said Mukai, her aura flaring. He put her down. Right, right, he didn't have time for this. He didn't have time to…to…he couldn't forget about the mission. He was a good fish owner and a good big brother, too.
And good big brothers did not let their little sisters walk around smelling like milk.
"Ok, ok, here you go. Now go and find something to wear." Said Sho
"No, I'm going to wear this! My clothes!" said Mukai, tugging at her pajama shirt.
"You have to change, Mukai, you smell like milk and it's going to go bad and then you're going to smell bad. That happened to Big Sis once when we were little. She wouldn't change out of her pajamas because they were her favorites and Mom, my Mom, was too sick to get out of bed and then-" said Sho
"Mama's not sick, Mama's mad. Out there." Said Mukai pointing out the window.
"Yeah, yeah, I can hear her…just…come on, pick something out. The sooner you pick something out the sooner we can go on an adventure." Said Sho, trying his best to sound like Big Sis did when she asked him to do something. She just had this way of saying stuff…he probably hadn't gotten it right.
"Adventure time! Over there!" shouted Mukai, pointing out the window.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, the adventure is out there but first you have to get dressed so find a dress or pants or something." Said Sho. Mukai, thankfully, listened to him. She ran over to the suitcase on the floor and starting tossing clothes out of it. Sho wondered if he should have packed it back up. It was kind of a mess…but no, Tsuchiya had probably been in the middle of unpacking, so Mukai was doing her a favor. Also Sho hated cleaning up.
He didn't get the point.
If things were just going to get dirty again then what was the point of cleaning up? It was like in that movie where the guy had to keep on pushing the rock up the hill at every time the rock got to the top it just rolled back down. Also the part with the snake lady getting her head cut off was cool but that wasn't going to happen right now. If that happened, it would have been better to clean up, but it wasn't going to happen so show wasn't about to start wasting his day cleaning up. He had important things to do!
Like getting Mukai dressed.
He wondered when Mukai would be big enough to dress herself. Don't couldn't remember how old he was when he started dressing himself, but he knew that he was older than three period he remembered putting on his uniform for kindergarten all by himself, although that had just been the jacket on the half they made them wear. It had been hard to do the buttons though, and he still didn't really like doing up buttons. Some of Mukai's clothes had buttons and her fingers were too small to do them up. She had trouble with snaps and zippers, too. She was probably going to be too little to dress herself for a while.
He couldn't wait until she grew up.
He loved her the way she was now but it would be more fun when she got older. When she could play games for real, videogames and stuff, and when she didn't need as many naps and when she didn't do things like get cereal and milk all over the floor because it was fun for her to make messes. He couldn't wait until she got to be his age and then…well he'd have been a lot older. When she was twelve he was going to be…wait, he knew this…he was going to be twenty one!
All grown up.
He didn't know what would happen when he was twenty one, if there would still be a Claw or not, if Dad would be dead by then and he'd have to be king of the world…or if everything would be normal and he'd be living a normal life. With Ritsu, if they didn't break up…they weren't going to. Sho had only met one boy so far in his entire life that liked him back, he didn't think that he'd ever meet another one, and even if he did he didn't want another one. He didn't think that there was any guy at all as smart and brave as Ritsu was…or as cute…and he was cute. He was tall even though he was younger and his hair was all messy but in a cool way and…
And a lot of other things.
Ritsu was a lot of things. All of them good…the ones that Sho knew about…Sho would learn more about him later, when this was all over. When he could be boyfriends with Ritsu for real. When they could go places together and do things together without having to worry about getting caught. When they could live together and get married and have a bunch of kids…adopt a bunch of kids since they were both guys and they kind of needed a girl to have a baby from one of their bloodlines and that didn't matter anyway since Sho wasn't Dad and he didn't give a fuck about his bloodline.
He just wanted someone to take care of.
Like Mukai. She was fun to take care of…most of the time. She didn't like getting dressed, she made him chase her, and when he did catch her she tried to wiggle away. She was lucky that he hadn't given her a bath with all the milk and stuff that was on her. Was it harder or easier to take care of your own kids instead of your little brothers and sisters? He'd have to ask Big Sis, she was saying about how she wanted to have a baby….was it harder being an Uncle than a Big Brother? He'd figure it out…but later. Right now he already had one little kid to take care of.
Well…one and a half.
"Sho? I-I was thinking that-that maybe Miss Suzuki would have wanted to come with and-" said Serizawa as he stood in the genkan holding his umbrella like he thought that it was going to run away or something. He held it even tighter when Mukai ran past him to try and put her shoes on by herself. She didn't know how to, of course, she always put them on the wrong feet and stuff. She was just a little kid. You had to do a lot for little kids.
And adults who acted like little kids.
"Big Sis is working. If you don't want to come then don't come, I'm not going to make you." Said Sho as he got down on the floor and tried to get Mukai's shoes off of her. Not only had she put them on the wrong feet but she had managed to put them on backwards, too. It was kind of impressive, actually, even though she'd done it wrong.
"No Sho, no, I do it all by myself!" said Mukai as she pulled her foot away.
"I know that you can do it by yourself but let me do it right. You can't walk around like that, I don't even think that you can stand up." Said Sho as he got Mukai's sandals off. As a reward he nearly got kicked in the face…but that was ok, she didn't know what she was doing. Sho had been the same way when he'd been her age…and also a few years older. She was going to realize that hitting and kicking and stuff was wrong when she got older, it was a part of growing up, and like she said a million times before she was a big kid now.
Well, she was a bigger kid than she used to be.
"No stand up, no walking. Ryou take us." Said Mukai
"That…that would be easier for me too. I mean because I know him and he'd my friend…I mean I know that we're supposed to be mad at him but…but is it ok if he's still my friend?" asked Serizawa nervously. Sho wondered how Big Sis could have put up with this. Sho used to think, back when he'd been little enough to look forward to when he ran the world, that he would have wanted to have been the boss of someone. To have decided everything for them. To have been the one in charge for once. Well now he knew just how annoying it would have been. Who wanted to make these kinds of choices for someone? Even Big Sis, back when they'd been little, hadn't been anywhere near that level of bossy.
"Fuck are you asking me for? You can pick your own friends. I know he's my friend and I don't think that he doesn't like you so….I guess so?" asked Sho
"I-I'm sorry, I just…it's kind of complicated and I don't want to make anyone mad but I don't want to lose a friend-" said Serizawa
"Not lost, Seri. Right here, over here." Said Mukai as she tried to wiggle away from Sho. He didn't know how she thought that she was going to leave the house without shoes on…but at least she made some kind of sense. She didn't like shoes so she didn't want to wear them. At least she was making her own choices. Sho knew what it was like to have everything picked out for you, to not have any room to pick anything about yourself, to have to look to someone to figure out who you were…
He didn't know how Serizawa could stand to live like that.
"I didn't mean it like getting lost, I meant it like-" said Serizawa
"I know what you meant it like…and I don't get it. If you want to be friends with Shimazaki then be friends with him. People can't tell you can and can't be friends with, well they can, but you shouldn't let them. You shouldn't let people be the boss of you like that." Said Sho
"It's not so bad, it's actually a lot easier. I don't always know what to do-" said Serizawa
"You don't have to know what to do, you just have to do stuff. If you get an idea then you have to do it and if it works out then that's good and if it doesn't work out then at least you tried something new. Shimazaki told me that." Said Sho
"But…but what if things don't work out? What if something bad happens? What if you mess up and then…and then everyone's angry with you and…and they don't want to be around you anymore or be your friend or…or what if they leave and then you're all alone?" asked Serizawa
"I don't know, make new friends then? People leave…but fuck the people who leave and fuck the people who don't like you! Fuck them all!" said Sho. When he ruled the world…if he ruled the world…not that he was going to but if he did end up inheriting the world from Dad then he was going to make it illegal to boss someone around like that. There was nothing worse than being bossed around like that…but for some reason Serizawa actually wanted someone to tell him what to do and who to be friends with…no wonder he and Big Sis got along so well…
That was mean. Big Sis wasn't bossy because she liked to be, she was bossy because she had to be, because she had to take care of everyone around her…not like Dad. He liked being bossy…fuck him…fuck him!
"Fuck them all! Fuck everyone! Fuck you!" shouted Mukai. Sho winced and looked around. Tsuchiya wasn't back inside yet. Good. She didn't like it when Mukai said stuff like that…not at all. Sho had to watch what he said but…but Mukai was his sister and she could say whatever the fuck she wanted when he was with her and if someone had a fucking problem with that then they could go fuck themselves!
…not that he would have ever told Tsuchiya to go fuck herself. That would have been pretty fucking mean.
"I-I...um…I-" said Serizawa
"Are you coming with us or not? Because I'm going to go and see if Fukuda's ready and if he is then we're going." Said Sho
"I...I think that maybe…maybe I'd be better off here. In case…just in case." Said Serizawa. Sho didn't know what he meant, what he thought was going to happen. If Sho had been Big Sis then Serizawa would have wanted to hang out with him…but that was ok. He was ok. Serizawa was more Big Sis's friend anyway…but that was ok…
It was.
"Fine, suit yourself. More fish stuff for us." Said Sho as he picked Mukai up. Her shoes were on, mostly, and anyway it was just easier to carry her. Even if she didn't like it. Even if she kept on trying to kick her way out of his arms. She pulled his hair, too…she was kind of strong…but he was stronger. He wasn't going to put her down. If he put her down then she'd just end up taking her shoes off or running away or any of the other Mukai things that she did.
He knew what would happen.
She would try and get away from him…everyone always tried to…she was little. She just liked to explore. She was so little that everything was an adventure. Running across the street, climbing trees, taking off her shoes and running around on the hot sidewalk...stuff that seemed fun to her but wasn't. She was little and that was just how little kids were. She'd be less…like this…when she got older. When she got to be his age.
When she was twelve.
She'd be twelve, well twelve and a half, one day and he'd be all grown up and…and stuff. He wondered if she'd look back at times like these and be happy that she had a Big Brother who loved her and put up with her. Sho knew that he used to be an asshole, not that Mukai was an asshole, but he just remembered the way that he used to be towards Big Sis. She could have left him at any time, she and Dad could have just fucked off somewhere and left him with Fukuda, but she didn't. No matter what happened she stayed with him. She was the only person who would never go…not that he cared about…about the people who left. He didn't care that Mom hadn't loved him enough to even tell him that she was leaving. He didn't care that Dad gave so few fucks about him that he just left without…without anything. He didn't even care that Shimazaki had disappeared off somewhere again to do what was probably really fun stuff without Sho and…and he didn't care, either, that Shimazaki had picked Big Sis to fall in love with instead of him. Sho didn't care…he didn't. People go wherever they wanted to go and do whatever they wanted to do and…and if some people wanted to go and never come back then that was fine.
He knew Big Sis would always be there for him and he would always be there for her…and Mukai, too, of course.
Even if she did kick a lot. She kicked him the whole way to Fukuda's house, and then once more as he put her down. She wasn't mad, though, she laughed when she want inside. She was going to 'play with the ham-hams' and 'bite the Meow-Meow'…he wasn't too sure about that last one. At best she'd get a mouthful of fur and at worst Fukuda would have to put her back together after she got covered in cat scratches…and then, of course, Fukuda would have wanted to talk about cutting Meow-Meow's nails and Sho, of course, would remind him that it was cruel and then they'd go around and around and around like that.
Sho would win, of course.
Cutting a cat's nails was cruel no matter what Fukuda thought. Even Shiori agreed with him. She said that she just taught her cat to only scratch the scratching post, and Dad when he got too close to it. Served him right. He wished that he'd met Shiori's cat, he would have been friends with it, and maybe her too…maybe. She was nice. She was nicer than…well Mom had always been nice. She had just gotten sick and being sick took up a lot of her time and…and he had enough friends as it was. Besides, it didn't matter if she was nice to him, she had to be nice to his sisters too.
And he didn't see her being nice to Mukai, not if she went around biting cats.
"There's hair in my mouth….it's bad!" Said Mukai as the cat ran away. She started to spit on the floor over and over again. Fukuda wasn't going to like that…but fuck him! Sho had told him to be ready. He could hear Fukuda pacing around and talking. This was no time to be taking phone calls or going crazy!
And he had better have been going crazy, at least that was an 'ok' sort of excuse.
"See? The same thing happened last time you bit the cat and the time before that." Said Sho
"It's bad! Tastes like cat! Fix it! Make Fuckuda fix it!" said Mukai
"He can't make the cat taste better but he can get his ass down here…stay here, ok? And don't try and play with the hamsters." Said Sho
"Play with the ham-hams?" asked Mukai. Sho shook his head. No way. He would play with the hamsters WITH her, but she couldn't play with them on her own. She was too little. Last time she had played with them it had turned into a disaster…and he still wasn't sure if he had all of them back.
"No. Don't play with them. Remember what happened last time?" asked Sho. Mukai scrunched her face up and tapped her foot, thinking really hard. He watched her. It hadn't been that long ago…did she remember? How much could she remember now?
"I remember…all the ham-hams run away. I did it." Said Mukai, nodding to herself.
"Yeah, so don't do it again. It took me a week top find all of them. Just stay here and don't bite the cat or play with the hamsters. Ok?" asked Sho. Mukai shook her head.
"Going to play with the ham-hams." Said Mukai. She was honest…at least she was honest. He had to get out of here before she made more work for him…and now he sounded like Minegishi. He shuddered. That was…just wrong. He was never going to be like Minegishi. He would rather have turned into a fish, one stuck in a too small bowl of acid water, than to have been anything like Minegishi. He couldn't have imagined anything worse than being Minegishi.
Except for, maybe, being Fukuda.
"…here? It's not safe…" said Fukuda, his voice travelling down the stairs. Sho didn't know who he was talking to but he could tell that he was pissed. Really pissed.
"What are you talking about 'for the best'?" asked Fukuda. Sho made it to the top of the stairs, he could hear him a lot clearer now. He was pacing back and forth in his room…and yeah, he was pissed. Even his aura showed it. Sho had never seen him this pissed off before…but it wasn't scary.
Fukuda could never be scary.
Fukuda was bigger and stronger but Sho was more powerful. He was strong enough that if they ever fought he would have won…but it never would have come to that. That wasn't how they were. Even if they did fight then…then it didn't mean that they hated each other. Not like him and Dad and…and Sho wasn't even the person that Fukuda was pissed off at.
Fukuda could never be pissed off at Sho. You couldn't get pissed off at the people you loved.
"What the fuck are you talking about?" asked Fukuda. Sho stopped in his tracks. Fukuda had cursed. Sho didn't know if he had to say 'language' right now. He kind of wanted to. It would have been payback for all the years of Fukuda being all 'language' to him but…but he didn't want to…
He wasn't freaked out. He just…knew better than to interrupt people when they were on the phone.
"Breaking up? We were never-" said Fukuda. Sho crept closer. This was interesting. Listening in on conversations was worse than interrupting but this was interesting. Breaking up…did Fukuda have a girlfriend too? Why? Why the fuck did everyone have a girlfriend now? What, was everyone going to leave to be with some girl?
Well, obviously not, since it sounded like this mystery girl was breaking up with Fukuda right now.
Poor Fukuda. Sho stood in the doorway and watched. Fukuda was pacing back and forth, back and forth, like he was trying to put a hole in the floor. He kept on doing that thing where he sighed and ran a hand through his hair even though it was way too short for that. He was pissed. His aura was flaring out…it was weird to see it like that. Fukuda's aura had always been more like a blanket than anything, something warm that covered him and made him feel safe when things went wrong. For him.
He didn't know what to do.
Things had never gone wrong for Fukuda before, not in a way that wasn't his fault. Like with all the lying and sneaking around and telling Sho's secrets and stuff. Sho hadn't had any reason to be there for him back then, especially with the secret telling part. He kind of wished that more stuff had gone wrong in Fukuda's life, then he might have been able to figure out what he was supposed to say or do here.
Sho had never been broken up with before but he'd broken up with Emmy and that had hurt a lot…and he hadn't even been on the other end of that.
"Excuse me?" asked Fukuda, still pacing. He pulled his phone away from his ear and stared at it like it had bitten him. There was some tinny talking, a girl's voice, and then Fukuda made a face that Sho had never seen before…one that he knew wasn't good.
"What do you…who are you? This does not concern you and…and what does this have to do with bread and…sandwiches…what the…" said Fukuda. He was scoffing and shaking his head a lot. Ok…so maybe he wasn't breaking up with a girl…or maybe he was? Sho didn't get it. Fukuda looked more confused now than pissed off so…was that good? He didn't know.
This was the point where Dad would have started breaking things.
Fukuda actually looked sort of like he was about to start breaking things. The girl said something that Sho didn't understand…something that made Fukuda turn red. Really red. He turned red and then his eyes got wide and he started to shake…ok, that was bad news.
Very bad news.
"How do you even know about-" said Fukuda. His voice came out really low and deep and…and kind of scary. Kind of…this was Fukuda. He wasn't scary, he was never going to be scary, and Sho didn't have to put up a barrier. Even if Fukuda had been about to turn around and throw Sho through the wall then…then it wasn't like Sho would have been able to fight him…
But Fukuda wasn't going to fight him.
"We AGREED never to speak of that again! We both agreed that we were never going to…I don't care if you love her! That's private and-fuck!" said Fukuda, turning around. He made eye contact with Sho, turned white, and then hung up his phone. It slipped out of his hand and nearly hit the ground. Sho caught it.
Fukuda would have gotten mad, probably, if his screen shattered.
"Did a girl break up with you? Because if you want her to take you back I don't think that you should yell at her. Girls don't like being yelled at. I don't know about guys, though, me and Ritsu never fight." Said Sho quickly as he handed Fukuda his phone back. He needed to fix this and…and that helped, right? He had helped…he didn't know how to…he could figure this out. He had to…to…he had to make sure that he was safe…
Of course he was safe. This was Fukuda.
"That was…that was something…something that you don't have to worry about…damn it!" said Fukuda. His phone started to ring. Dad's ringtone. Everybody wants to rule the world. Sho wondered if that song had been written about Dad. He was the only person who thought that everybody wanted to rule the world. Sho sure didn't…he really didn't. Fukuda didn't either. He threw his phone onto the bed. The song kept on going…but Fukuda knew enough to ignore it.
"See? Fuck Dad." Said Sho. He felt better. Lighter. He didn't know why he felt so much lighter…but he did. One of them had to feel light. Fukuda turned white again and clutched the side of the bed. Sho watched his heart. He didn't know what he was looking for but…but he knew it would…he knew what it looked like when someone had a heart attack.
It was kind of scary.
"Sho…what…what did you…what made you say that?" asked Fukuda, still white and still shaky. Sho reached over with his powers and held him up…if he fell he would have bumped his head and…and there was a lot of blood inside of people's head. Sho had seen enough headwounds to know how much they bled and…and even if Fukuda could heal then…then Sho wasn't going to let him get hurt at all…it would have been…been bad and…and stuff….
"That was Dad's ringtone, right? Because he wants to rule the world? The guy you just hung up on?" asked Sho. Fukuda got more color to him. He stood up on his own. He was less shaky but…but kind of…kind of still weird. He was…he was ok. Sho had done good. Fukuda was…he was better now…Sho had fixed it.
"That was…so, you said something about the fish store? How about I call us a car and-" said Fukuda, his voice coming out back to normal. Mostly. He was still shaky but his phone had stopped ringing and…and it was done now. All of it was done.
"Call Shimazaki first, he can get places faster and he doesn't make Mukai motion sick." Said Sho. Shimazaki would have made this better…not that there was anything to make better but…but if…if there was something that would have made this better it would have been Shimazaki. Even if he'd just fought Fukuda for the rest of the day.
"I'll just call a car. Shimazaki and I don't get along, you know that. Just…head downstairs for a while, ok?" asked Fukuda. He was still kind of shaky and…and now Sho was kind of shaky. Kind of…it was done now and they had stuff to do! He wasn't going to-to…he wasn't going to wait around all day until Fukuda stopped being all-all-all…like this!
"A while!? We have to go now! Those little fish are swimming and hoping and hoping and swimming that we make their bowl better and every second that we leave them there they get more and more upset. Shiori says-" said Sho
"I don't give a damn what Shiori says! I…sorry, sorry. Things are just kind of stressful right now. In Claw. The restructuring is…it's a lot…so how about you just hang out downstairs while I get some things settled. Ok?" asked Fukuda. Sho put up a barrier…and kept it up.
"But I-" said Sho. He kept his barrier up and…and Fukuda had never yelled at him before. He had yelled at Fukuda but…but never the other way around and…and he could fix this! He had to! He just had to find a way to-to-to make this better and…and he was…this was…it was all….so….
"Sho! Help! All the ham-hams run away! Outside!" shouted Mukai, her voice coming clear as a bell up the stairs. Sho…he wasn't mad…not very mad…even though she had done the thing that he had told her specifically not to wear!
"Mukai! What the hell!? I told you not to do that! Why did you do that?" asked Sho. He took it back, of course, when he got downstairs. He shouldn't have been mean to her…even if now all of his hamsters were running around. Even if now his fish would suffer for even longer. Even if…even if…there was no even if. He wasn't mad. He was going to be a bad big brother, he was a good big brother and…and…a good fish owner….
A better fish owner than hamster owner. Hopefully.