Suzuki had always made it a point not to need anyone.
But that was before Shiori had come into his life…or maybe he'd come into hers? Or had they come into each other's lives? Fate, maybe, had brought them together. He did believe in it, somewhat, or maybe probability would have been closer. Him being who he was and she being who she was…they had been bound to cross paths eventually. He was glad, though, that they had crossed paths when they did and not when he had still been married. Actually married. Not separated…that was the word for it. Masami living in one place and him living in another. If he had met Shiori when he'd been married to Masami in the real way then…well then he would have missed out on so much. Just being with her, just being in her home and her presence, felt like everything. Good, sort of warm, a bit like being in the sun but without the burning…
It was a good feeling.
One which he should not have needed. He should have been fine on his own. He shouldn't have needed her…but he did…and she said that it was alright. It was difficult. Emotions in general were difficult. It had been easier when he had known exactly who he was and who he wanted to be. It had been easier when, if he ever felt an emotion he didn't care for, he could just exorcise it. Shiori had told him that she didn't want him to exorcise these emotions…she actually liked them…
He didn't mind them too much either.
Some of them. The warmth he felt when he was near her, when he heard her voice, when he thought about her. It was the same way he used to feel about Masami but better, in some ways. He could feel this way, it was alright, and Shiori actually wanted it. He also…he enjoyed her company more than Masami's. They had more to talk about. He had never been one for conversation…or maybe he thought he'd been…
He didn't even know himself, sometimes.
That wasn't good. uncertainty…nothing good ever came from uncertainty. He used to be completely sure of who he was, what he wanted, and what he was going to be. He still knew what he wanted, to rule the world, who he wanted to be, the unquestioned President of the world, but who he…he had never understood the phrase 'finding yourself'. He understood finding other people and things but how could you lose yourself?
Of course you wouldn't have known you were lost….or maybe would have.
He wasn't sure. Maybe he shouldn't have been around other people, then, if all he was going to do was feel lost. Maybe he should have been wasting the day away in his own bed. Maybe he should have been laying down in his own bed in one of his own houses and stared up at his own ceiling and…well nothing good ever came from contemplating his life…home or here he shouldn't have been acting like this. He had things to do, people to see, and a world to get closer to ruling. Even with the extra time he had now that he'd given Shigeko real power he still had so much to do.
He got up.
He pulled the duvet off and sat up. It was freezing in here. Shiori had turned the air conditioning up as high as it would go yesterday, which had made sense since it had been particularly hot out, but it had cooled some overnight. Also she had gone to sleep in long pants and a long sleeved shirt. He knew better than to criticize a woman's clothing, he'd been married once already and he had two daughters, but it would have made more sense from his point of view to turn down the air conditioning and wear lighter and shorter clothing.
And not just for the usual selfish reasons, either.
He couldn't have asked that of her…well he could have, but it would not have gone over well. Shiori did not like to be told what to do. He may not have known a lot about people, and he may not have been wise to the ways of women, but he knew Shiori and he was wise to her ways. Him telling her that he liked that sleeping outfit she wore that was pretty just a long t-shirt and maybe socks…well that would not have gone over well. She hated being told what to do, most people did, and he did not mean to command her. She was his wife, future wife, and one did not speak to their wife that way. Father had said that and he had been inclined to listen, even though he hadn't even had a girlfriend at the time let alone a wife…or future wife…
There were many things he would have liked to get on with.
But first he would have to get on with the business of getting dressed. He should have left days ago. Three days he'd been partially out of commission. Hatori had been in charge for two of those days. Suzuki was never making that mistake again….never. Hatori was many things but a leader wasn't one of them. He was good company, a good friend, he would have been an amazing son, and he was one of Claw's greatest assets…but he was not President material. Or leadership material of any kind. Shigeko…well she had her flaws when it came to leadership…but the people did love her and she knew a lot about the daily running of Claw.
Anything that she didn't know he knew Tadashi would help her with.
Suzuki made the bed. Quickly. By hand. It would have been faster with his powers but if he used his powers then he would have had the mental space to think about…about someone he would rather not have thought about. A mistake that he would rather not have made. Suzuki knew, now, that if he had to drink to do something then it was obviously something that he should not have been doing. He had thought that…well at time it had been a good idea. Sleeping with Tadashi…it had been the culmination of thirty three years of emotion…pent up emotion…emotion that was best left pent up.
Emotion that he would have done well not to feel.
So he made the bed. A task that, yes, he was a bit out of practice at. Mother had always insisted on sharp corners for the sheets and a very particular arrangement for his pillows. The white one and then the blue one. Shiori had more than two pillows. Four for sleeping and then a vast array of smaller pillows that she kept on the bed for decoration. Masami had done the same thing…actually, the more he thought about it, every woman he had ever known in his entire life had done that. Pillows on the beds and couches which served no purpose other than decoration. Nesting instinct, maybe? That made sense if every adult woman he had ever met had done that. Even Shigeko…she was at that age, wasn't she?
The bed was made enough.
He glanced at the clock. Time to go. It had been time to go yesterday and now…well now it was really time to go. Shiori had ever gotten up before him and she needed much more sleep than he did, not that he'd slept much last night. How was he supposed to sleep with all that had happened? He would have thought that acknowledging Shigeko as an adult would have been the end of this but…but it wasn't. Logically it should have been but when had his emotions ever had anything to do with logic? They hadn't, ever, at any point in his life. He would have been better off with no emotions at all.
But that wasn't an option.
Exorcising his emotions wasn't working anymore. As soon as he exorcised one three more popped up in it's place. It was like watching Shiori pull weeds only worse because the task was never over. One emotion and then another and another…at some point he had become weak…or maybe he was just getting old. Maybe he was past the prime of his life and now he would be in a steep decline that would end with him on his deathbed regretting every moment of his life up to that point…well not every moment but quite a few…
He needed to get out of here.
With the bed made he had no reason to stay in Shiori's bedroom. So he left. Even though that bed did look inviting. It would have looked more inviting with her on it. Not sexually, of course, he knew that he wasn't even going to be able to consider it until his feelings on the subject evened out. Until logic could win out against…against everything that he felt towards the subject. Largely an illogical sort of disgust. Shigeko was going through puberty, she had clearly reached sexual maturity, and this…this was what nature intended. He could no more fight nature than he could fight time…there was no fighting this. With all the power that he possessed he couldn't fight this or…or himself…
Good thing, then, that there were plenty of people in the world that needed fighting.
A cell had been attacked, nothing new, nothing that demanded his time…but it had been the second one in as many months, and all in Japan. His reach was thinner overseas so if this had happened farther away then it wouldn't have been terribly out of the ordinary…but this was Japan, his home, and…well some things he liked overseeing. He'd make that a priority, it would go on the list, the never ending list…
He really needed to go.
He needed to get dressed and leave and…well it would have been impolite to leave without saying goodbye. Masami had gotten him in that habit. She had been hurt, once, to wake up to an empty bed despite the fact that he had told her that he had a four a.m. flight to catch. She had wanted to be woken up for reasons he still could not understand…Shiori would have liked him to say goodbye and…and he wanted to say goodbye to her. Well actually if he'd had it his way he would have stayed with her for another day or so. Or longer. Most likely because she was not his, they were not married, and therefore it made perfect sense that he would not have wanted to leave her…that was all. It made logical sense.
At least something made sense.
He could have stayed another day and delegated more…but delegated nearly never worked out. Certainly not with the fallout of Hatori's time as interim president. He pulled his phone over with his powers. Hatori had better have been on his way…no reply to his message. He sent another one. Hatori had explaining to do…he was lucky that he wasn't Suzuki's son. If Sho had done that, if he had expected better of Sho that is, then he would have done well to hide…but Hatori was not his son. He had asked too much of him…so he wouldn't be put through a wall…
But that didn't mean that he was happy with Hatori.
Or himself, for the matter. He pulled himself out of whatever it was that he was mired in. It was like he was stuck, trapped, but the prison had been of his own making…his own mind…he needed to leave. He took a step, and then another, and then another until he found himself in the hallway. He closed the bedroom door behind himself to further remove the temptation to stay. To lay down. To wait for Shiori, to ask her to spend the day with him, to…well to ask her to…he didn't even know. Asking her to stay…the thought of it felt odd…he had asked for her presence before, of course, and…and she was his wife...
Not yet.
The day would come, he just didn't know when…he could ask her. There. Now he had a reason to want to be beside her. That had been easy. He walked, he didn't run, to her. He had no reason to run, her home wasn't so big, and he wasn't a child. He knew she was there, he could sense her, and he knew that she would have said something before she left…so he didn't have to run…so he forced himself to walk.
It hadn't been a long walk.
"Shiori." Said Suzuki as soon as he made it to the bathroom doorway. He had done that in an attempt at avoiding startling her…it hadn't worked. Shed had several things held in her telekinetic grip. Her hair dryer, her phone, her makeup…tools, her round brush that looked more like an implement of torture than a grooming instrument…she turned and dropped them.
He caught them all.
"Touichirou!" gasped Shiori. How had she not felt him coming? How had she not felt him get up? Too distracted…she couldn't afford to get so distracted…not even in her own home. She clutched her robe tightly around her chest, making sure that her neck and shoulders were covered.
"I apologize." Said Suzuki as he put her things down on the counter. She pulled her robe close around her body and shook her head. He had startled her…how? It wasn't as though she hadn't known that he was in her home…people were a mystery to him and women even more so.
"Well, yes, you should. What are you doing lurking around like that?" asked Shiori, forcing her breathing to return to normal. She was fine. It was just Touichirou. She hadn't noticed him because her aura was used to his, that was all. Had he been someone else she would have noticed and….and that didn't reassure her…
"I wanted to ask you if you wanted to marry me." Said Suzuki. Shiori made eye contact, held it, and then pulled at the chain around her neck until the ring at the end was visible. She held it up and rolled her eyes.
"I think we already had this conversation, Touichirou, unless there's something you're not telling me." Said Shiori
"I keep no secrets from you…on the subject of our relationship. We are still getting married, I want to marry you more than anything else, I simply…I wish to get out of the engagement period and get onto the marriage period of our relationship. As soon as possible." Said Suzuki
"Do you really want to talk about this now? Right now?" asked Shiori. She planted both of her hands on the bathroom counter and did her best to stay calm. She had enough to think about as it was. He couldn't be serious. HE had his own problems to deal with. She knew that she had nowhere near the resources he did, he could afford to just take days off at his leisure, but he must have had some idea…an iota of an idea…of the stress that she was under right now.
"Yes. Right now." Said Suzuki
"Well, Touichirou I don't know. Ok? To be completely honest I don't really have time to be planning a wedding right now. I don't even know who'd I'd invite…honestly I don't want any kind of wedding. Waste of time and money." Said Shiori. She could see Touichirou in the mirror. His aura surrounded her. Yet, she had no idea what he was feeling right now. Whatever it was she got the idea that it was big, heavy, and the sort of thing he was going to smother her with. He was quite the acrobat, emotionally, tumbling between the depths of fear, the heights of neediness, and then the arcs of love and caring she got the feeling only she knew he was capable of. He could have been ready to agree with her…or he could have been thinking up a thousand and one ways to try and change her mind.
Well, obviously, she wasn't going to be changing her mind anytime soon.
"I…agree. I have no desire to go through a wedding again." Said Suzuki. The money wasn't a problem, the people…the spectacle of it…was. He hadn't even wanted a wedding the first time around, it had just been the normal thing to do. He'd only had Tadashi there. Masami had known more than enough people to fill out the guest list...he was so glad that he didn't have to worry about meeting Shiori's parents, and that she had no friends. Eloping sounded better, he couldn't remember the last time he traveled for pleasure…not since before Claw was what it had become. Back when he'd been wandering the world looking for someone more powerful than himself. He had enjoyed it, traveling for the sake of traveling, he was much like Shigeko in that way…or she was like him. He wondered if she would have wanted to elope instead of a wedding…
He had his own marriage to worry about.
"So, what then? You want us to elope somewhere? I can't really leave right now. I have…well I have something to settle." Said Shiori
"What do you need to settle? Do you need me to-?" asked Suzuki
"Something. Something that only I can settle so just…stay out of it, I can take care of myself." Said Shiori, crossing her arms. She did not need him to jump in and save her. She could take care of herself. If he wanted to take care of someone then he could have looked into taking care of his children. Especially his son. That boy was starved for attention. Either that or he really liked talking about goldfish. Somehow they had managed to keep a conversation up about them all morning. They were carp. They needed a big tank. Don't tap on the glass. How that boy needed it explained to him ten different ways she would never have known.
Touichirou had his own life to settle.
He had two other kids he needed to deal with. His younger daughter…well she didn't know how she was doing but Shiori did know that a three year old needed a hell of a lot of care. Shigeko was thirteen and Touichirou had pretty much washed his hands of her. Maybe instead of trying to solve his girlfriend's problems he should have done something about his daughter or…or whatever else he had going on in his life.
Really.
"You're injured." Said Suzuki. The shoulder of her robe slumped downwards…that hadn't been there before…though he hadn't seen her in this state of affairs in quite some time. Not that she was in any state of affairs, it was just her bare shoulder…had it always been that color?
No, no it hadn't.
He crossed the space between them and tried to pull her robe to the side. She turned and batted his hand away…right, right, he had invaded her space…but she was injured! She was…the room shook. He could see it, she was injured. She pulled her robe back up. He could still see it. He knew that it was there. He couldn't unsee it. She was injured and…and she had been hiding it from him? She had…no wonder she hadn't changed in the same room as him. No wonder she had been wearing long sleeves all day. No wonder…yes wonder! She was injured. Badly. Someone had…someone had thought….there was a person in the world right now who thought that he had the right to hurt Shiori.
Somewhere in the world someone was going to die. By Touichirou's hand.
"Shiori, you're-" said Suzuki
"It's just a bruise, Touichirou, I get them all the time. Nature of the work and all that." Said Shiori pulling her robe close. He had NOT been about to do what she thought he was. No. No way. If thought that he had the right to-to-to…well then he had another thing coming!
"Who." Said Suzuki
"Touichirou. No." said Shiori
"Who is responsible for this?" asked Suzuki
"I. Am. Handling it." Said Shiori through clenched teeth. She was going to keep control. She…she hadn't had this happen since she'd been a kid. The tap beside her turned on. Her doing. The lights above her flicked. Touichirou's doing…they were not fighting about this. There was no way in hell that they were fighting over this.
"And I will end it." Said Suzuki. Why did she have to be like this? Women. Why did women have to be so…so confusing? He was stronger than her in every single way. She was his. Someone had hurt what was his. Someone was going to die. It was simple.
"I don't need you to end it, Touichirou. How about instead of worry about my problems you deal with your own, much more bizarre, problems? You have enough to do as it is. Make sure your own house is clean before you worry about mine." Said Shiori
"Shigeko takes care of that." Said Suzuki. Shiori opened her mouth like she was about to say something, closed it, and then opened it again. She resembled a fish…though he knew better than to say that.
"I meant…how am I not used to this yet? I meant that you need to let me settle my own problems. Your life is spiraling, has been spiraling, and…and how about you correct that instead of digging into my problems. I'm a grown woman, Touichirou, I can run my own life. I've been in this life for nearly as long as you've been. I can handle my own business." Said Shiori
"My life is fine. Clearly your life is the one which is spiraling. You're injured. I have no idea why you didn't say anything. Nobody has the right to treat you like that. The thought of losing you…I can't lose you…and you're so fragile…" said Suzuki. He reached over to take her hand. She pulled away. It hurt.
"Fragile?!" asked Shiori, letting her aura show. He didn't so much as take a step back…well of course she was nothing compared to him. She was…she was an insect compared to him…but that didn't make her fragile. Just because she wasn't the biggest, the best, the most powerful did NOT mean that she was any less capable than him!
"Yes. You could die…you could leave. You could be taken from me at any time. I have no idea how…how I could possibly…" said Suzuki. He didn't know what he would have done if he woke up and she was gone. He didn't know…it had hurt, when Masami had left, and it had taken so long for the wound to close. He didn't think it would close a second time. He didn't know if he would be able to deal with that wound if it opened up again…
Why was she putting so much distance between them?
"I'm going to be fine. God, Touichirou, I'm not your wife and I never will be. I can handle myself and I don't need you to treat me like a child…actually, no, I wish you would treat me like one of your kids." Said Shiori
"I don't follow. I know that you're not Masami, you're a better person than she ever was, and…and I don't know why you want me to treat you like a child. You're not a child…that would be odd…" said Suzuki
"I meant that I wanted you to leave me alone like you leave them alone. You pretty much ignore them until you can't and then you run to me when it gets to be too much for you to deal with. Parenting is hard, Touichirou, I'm not even a parent and I know that. I am so…I'm getting tired of it, ok? You smother me and…and maybe you should put some of the energy you put into smothering me into dealing with your kids." Said Shiori
"My children are fine. They are not your concern. You are not their mother." Said Suzuki. He took a step away from her, that time. He knew what he was doing…to a degree. Being both mother and father wasn't working. He didn't know how to be a mother but he did know how to be a father. He did well…he did what he was supposed to do. He provided for his children and kept them alive until adulthood…most of them. Mukai was still a child but he took good care of her. He gave her whatever he wanted, kept her happy, kept her fed, and honored her choices. He honored the choices that all of his children had made. His father wouldn't have stood for even a tenth of what the children put him through. His father would have beaten him into the ground if he'd even dared to-
-the tile under his feet cracked.
"No, I'm not, but it's clear that they need one. Your oldest is out of control, and your son…well he's a good kid. Lonely as hell, and he's got one hell of a mouth on him, but he's a good kid. Your youngest…I have no idea what's wrong with her but I know that in ten years you're going to be running to me because she's totally and completely out of control too." Said Shiori. The ground under her feet was shaking. She could see, there, cracks forming…that wasn't going to be fun to fix…and she would have to do it herself….
Why was he always making more work for her?
"Sho? What about…how do you know…I feel like I missed something." Said Suzuki. He followed the path her eyes took. He shouldn't have lost control like that. No wonder she was upset with him. Damaging her floor…that was a logical reason to be upset with him. Not because of his parenting. She had no right…she was a woman and women knew these things…so she did have a right to….to criticize him…but she wasn't a parent. She had no idea how difficult it was….but she was a woman and they knew these things…and she was intelligent…and he didn't want to fight with her…
Fight. Give up. Two options.
"He's got goldfish now." said Shiori simply.
"I…still do not follow." Said Suzuki
"I ran into him, he drew me a picture, and I gave him my phone number. He needed it, he seemed to be interested in starting up his first aquarium and there's no way I'm letting him mess it up so…yeah. We got to talking. Well he's mostly been asking me questions. I answer them when I have a moment. That's going to be the extent of my step mothering, by the way." Said Shiori
"I'll speak to him…I'll have Shigeko speak to him, or Tadashi. Whoever he'll listen to." Said Suzuki
"You could talk to him, you know, you are his father. It's pretty obvious that you fathered that one. Shigeko, well I'm not sure about her." Said Shiori
"Shigeko's parentage is not unknown to me." Said Suzuki. He wasn't going to tell her the truth. The only person he could trust with it was Tadashi. He loved Shiori…but he couldn't risk the truth ever getting out. Even with the person Shigeko had become he still didn't want to lose her.
"She doesn't look a thing like you." Said Shiori with a smile. One that he did not return…well there went that attempt at diffusion.
"I am aware, she is not my concern. Sho is…and I cannot speak to him. If I speak to him then I…I know myself. He shouldn't be bothering you and if I speak to him then I'm going to end up punishing him and then Shigeko will be upset and the last thing I need is for Shigeko to be upset." Said Suzuki
"Again with this?" asked Shiori, running a hand through her hair. Her robe fell opened. It didn't matter, he'd already seen what there was to see.
"Again with what?" asked Suzuki
"It's like you're afraid of your own child. Why? Who's the adult in this situation?" asked Shiori
"Both of us. I do not fear her, I just…I do not want to alienate her….my emotions towards Shigeko are complex and difficult to pin down…I won't talk about this. She is my child and my concern, not yours. You said before that you had no interest in being their mother, so why are you acting like…like you want to be their mother?" asked Suzuki
"I don't want to be their mother, that hasn't changed, but there needs to be some kind of adult in their situation. I don't know, I feel for them, I guess. Or maybe I just have some kind of pathological need to fix things. I don't know." Said Shiori, shaking her head. It wasn't any of her business, he was right, but…well it was just such an easy fix! Just raise your kids, Touichirou, it wasn't rocket science. Actually he knew more about rocket science than parenting. She knew more about parenting than he did. Their kid was better off with her…if she was even going to have their kid…his kid. A kid.
"You…you understand, then." Said Suzuki. He loved her more in that moment than he had ever loved a woman in his life. She understood him. She understood that, when you saw a problem you could fix, you fixed it. He wanted to help her because he loved her. She wanted to help his children, as misplaced as that desire was, because that was just the way she was. She enjoyed caring for living things in much the way Masami had. She was…he reached out towards her. She didn't step back. He pulled her close.
He loved this woman.
"What do I understand?" asked Shiori as Touichirou clung to her like a kid with a security blanket. Well the fight was over now, and with minimal damage. She should have been happy…but all she felt was vaguely smothered.
"Me." Said Suzuki as he held her.
"I do?" asked Shiori
"Yes. You understand me better than…than anyone ever has before. Maybe even myself…" said Suzuki. He reached upwards and ran his hand across her back. She winced…how injured was she? And why hadn't she told him anything? What motive could she have had to keep it to herself? She enjoyed doing things on her own, as did he, but she must have known how devastated he would have been if he'd lost her. Also, of course, she must have been worried about her own life.
"You're just going to admit that to me?" asked Shiori
"You said that I could tell you anything." Said Suzuki
"Yeah…I did." Said Shiori, putting some space between them. She loved him, she really did, but she didn't love every single part of him. He could be so needy sometimes…or maybe she was just being closed off. She'd gotten that a lot.
"Then why don't you do the same?" asked Suzuki, motioning to her shoulder.
"Because I know how you are. You want to come in and save me…but I don't need to be saved. How is that going to look for either of us? You know if you come in and handle this you're just going to be putting a target on my head. If I let you come in and publicly save me then I can kiss everything I've built goodbye. That's pretty much the equivalent of me screaming from the rooftops that I'm weak, I can't handle myself, and at that point then why should anyone follow me? It wouldn't make sense. I told you from the beginning, before we were even anything, that I would not be subservient to Claw…so don't ask me to be." Said Shiori
"I…I understand. I don't like it but I understand." Said Suzuki. He couldn't help her publicly, that was fine. It would have been easier to make an example out of those men, and it was most likely men, than to work in the shadows…but he had people for that. He had people who were well suited to working in the shadows…
Though it was hard to tell when you were and were not in the shadows when you were completely blind.
"Good. You don't have to understand, you just have to respect my wishes. You just have to respect me." Said Shiori, pulling her robe back up and tying the stash.
"I do respect you." Said Suzuki. He loved her, how could he have loved someone without respecting them.
"Good, then act like-hang on." Said Shiori. She could hear her phone vibrating…where had it gone to? She reached down with her powers and lifted everything that felt light enough to be her phone…there it was. The screen was fine but the case…well she could always get a new case. Yeah, that could be fun. Something to do when she was done getting vengeance….like a reward or something…or maybe she just liked buying phone cases. Maybe she was just immature like that, like a big kid…maybe one of the actual kids would have liked to go with her. Like this one, he obviously needed the company.
Maybe.
She clicked her phone on. He wanted to know who she was getting vengeance on. She typed out a quick 'none of your business'. Well there went that non-stepmother non-stepson bonding activity. Whatever. She'd just take her own kid when she had one…if she had one. She was less on the fence than before. She wanted a child. She didn't have any more time to be waiting, it would only get harder from here, but who she would have that child with…sometimes she imagined these rosy scenes of parenthood, of family, between Touichirou and herself…but then he came to her without another one of his bizarre problems and decided that instead of dealing with things he was just going to cling to her and upend her life…times like those the sperm bank got to be looking pretty appealing…
Judging by how often he was out of the country, coupled with how he treated the kids he did have, she got the feeling that she was pretty much going to end up as a single mother anyway.
"What's none of my son's business?" asked Suzuki as he leaned over her shoulder. She clicked her phone off and put it in her robe pocket.
"I can see where he gets his nosy genes from." Said Shiori
"I apologize, I didn't mean to be nosy…though he is my son and I would like to know what he's been bothering you about. He has no right to-" said Suzuki
"Don't be dramatic. He's just asking me about my plans for the day. They're none of his business. I told him to keep the questions to fish and cats only. If he can't follow directions, simple direction, then that's on him." Said Shiori
"He was never the best at following orders…my orders. Even Shigeko's. The only person that's ever been able to get him to listen has been Tadashi. I have no idea why." Said Suzuki. There was a feeling there not unlike the time he'd bitten into a clove when he'd been a child. Somehow Tadashi was better at taking care of his son than he was…he had always overstepped…but Suzuki should have been grateful. Not having to worry about Sho freed him up to worry about Tetsuro, or whoever Shiori planned on conceiving.
"Well why don't you imitate him, then? Obviously he's doing something right." Said Shiori
"I have no idea what it is that I'm supposed to be imitating…and I have never been good at imitation games. Honestly, I have always found them tiresome, even when I was small." Said Suzuki
"Me too. That is unless I was the one in charge. What's the point of Simon Says if I can't be Simon?" asked Shiori
"It's pointless, almost as pointless as…I can't remember the name of the game but you know the one, right? Where you say red light and people stop moving and you say green light and people start moving?" asked Suzuki
"Red light, green light." Said Shiori
"Yes, what's the name of the game?" asked Suzuki
"The name of the game is red light green light." Said Shiori with a laugh.
"Oh…I should have known that." Said Suzuki. Well to be fair he hadn't had to think about that game since primary school. The last time the other children had agreed to play with him…first grade, maybe…or second.
"Well, yeah, you have three kids." Said Shiori
"My children have never played with the other children." Said Suzuki
"Why would they? The other kids are impossible. They were when I was a kid and I bet that they are now…though it would be good for our kid, our hypothetical kid, to have friends I suppose. Loneliness is pretty strong when you're a kid." Said Shiori
"I never felt lonely when I was a child." Said Suzuki. He could have cared less that the other children had been making friends and playing games. He'd never been without purpose and, before world domination, it had been getting off of this miserable planet. He had wanted to go home, back to where he assumed that he came from. Logically he could not have been human, not with his abilities, and not with the way he looked. He had certainly felt like an extraterrestrial and what did an extraterrestrial want with a classroom full of human children?
Of course, eventually, it had come to his attention that he was completely human…but Tadashi had come along later and with him a new life's goal.
"Never?" asked Shiori. She didn't believe that. For as much as Touichirou claimed to be a 'full and complete' person on his own he could be incredibly clingy. Probably even more so when he'd been a kid, though to get the full story she would have had to probably ask this 'Tadashi' that he was always going on about. His childhood friend….God…it was like she was living in one of those mangas she used to read when she was young. Two star crossed boys in love but kept apart by society…if there even was love between them….there better not have been.
It had been a weird thing that Touichirou should have gotten out of his system in university like everyone else.
"Never….not that I can recall…recall clearly. There were times but I've grown past that." Said Suzuki
"If you've grown past that then why are you here?" asked Shiori
"Because I love you and you told me, explicitly, that I am free so seek out your company." Said Suzuki
"You are…but sometimes I would wish…nothing. I love you too and I like having you around. But next time can you please call me first, and warn me if you're having another one of your bizarre problems?" asked Shiori
"My problems are not bizarre but…yes. I'll call you next time if that's what you want." Said Suzuki
"No, I'm lying to you…of course that's what I want. I love having you around but you just popping up like this, it can be kind of disruptive, ok? And when you do show up can you tell me how long you're planning on staying for?" asked Shiori
"I'm leaving today. I have to leave today. I was planning on leaving after you left…but now I'm concerned. I am asking you to…to try and do whatever you can to preserve your life. Since you're not allowing me to publicly help you…you're in danger." Said Suzuki. He needed time to put together a team of people specifically to watch her…one person to watch her and then multiple people to watch the person watching her. He didn't like Shimazaki Ryou as a human being but he was a useful man. His passive range was amazing. He was ruthless when it came to matters of battle. He was invaluable when it came to work like this. Suzuki would have been an idiot not to put him on this job.
He would have been more of an idiot to leave him alone with Shigeko.
This had been the plan since there had even been reason to plan. Shigeko would find a man and, after she had her child, he always planned on reassigning that man very far away from her. He had no idea if she was pregnant or not, he was going to take her word for it for the sake of his heart, and if she was then…well he could help her raise her child. When the final part of his plan was done. When his emotions toward her cooled. When he could think with reason and logic again. When he had time for her. He could always help her raise her child and…and things could be the way he imagined them….
He just…had to figure out a way to bring Shiori and his new family into the picture.
If that was even possible. Shiori and Shigeko did not get along. He and Shigeko didn't really get along these days either. Shigeko…she was becoming someone he barely even recognized. He loved her but…but she was becoming as tiresome as Sho. He didn't like tiresome. He had enough to do in his life as it was and he didn't imagine that things would be easier when his next child was born. Infants were so needy and fragile. Shiori would expect him to help, too, he could tell. She would call him the king in the castle and then hand him the infant and then…and then he'd be lost…so maybe he could bring Shigeko into their home to help? He didn't know…he needed a better plan than that…
He didn't have space within himself to be thinking of plans right now.
Shiori was the one holding him. She was so warm and she smelled so wonderful…like flowers. He half expected to smell berries…but those times were done with now. Shiori smelled of flowers right after a shower. She was so small and…and she fit right there in his arm. He wrapped his arms around her loosely. He didn't want to hurt her…but also he never wanted to let her go…
She let him go.
His phone began to ring…someone had better have been dying. Every second one point eight people died and four point two humans were born, so the cycle never stopped, but someone he knew had better have been dying! Even if it had been Hatori…the only person who should have been calling him right now. He took his phone out of his pocket and…oh.
Alright then.
"What?" asked Suzuki. Tadashi never called him…though it could have been Mukai if she had gotten a hold of Tadashi's phone. She did like to call people…no. If it had been Mukai then she could have started the conversation with a loud 'hello' or 'who are you' or even 'I'm hanging up now'. The last one was always perplexing. Why did she call only to hang up? He should have asked her when she was around…
It would have been easier than asking Tadashi what he wanted.
"What's wrong?" asked Shiori, leaning in close. Touichirou turned his back to her. She heard a man's voice, tinny and distorted through the speakers but definitely male…Touichirou took a step away from her…and then another….and then another until he had left the bathroom entirely. She listened to his footsteps and eyed the mess on the floor…she could have stayed here. She should have stayed here…
But he was always into her business who why shouldn't she have been into his.
It was a juvenile impulse, maybe, something she would have come up with if she had been thirty years younger. Maybe it was out of malice or curiosity or maybe she was just trying to do some damage control for when Touichirou, inevitably, came to her with another one of his bizarre problems. This was for her own good, really, and this was her house too.
She couldn't have possibly been eavesdropping in her own house.
"…because it isn't safer for you to be in the same place. That is why I am going to one place and you are going to another. This is the best option for the both of us, the safest option." Said Suzuki as he made his way through the house. Tadashi had called him…Tadashi of all the people…this was his fault. If he needed to drink to make a choice then clearly it was the wrong one and now…now he'd made a mess out of this. Tadashi clearly wanted something that he couldn't give him. Not now that he had Shiori. Not with the disappointments that his children had been. Not with the future he had to secure. His son would inherit the world one day.
He just had to create a son worthy on inheriting all that Suzuki was building.
"For the best?" asked Shiori. She was close enough to hear the man on the other end of that call echo her sentiments. It sounded like Touichirou was pleading…but who could have made him plead like that? Touichirou walked away from her…this was her house. He had no right to…she stayed calm. She hated it when he stuck himself into her business…
But this was different. She had no intention of solving his problems for him.
"Tadashi, it's for the best. You and I…we have been together for some time and certain events have passed between us which, in retrospect, may have been a mistake. I cannot give you what you want so maybe it would be best for the both of us if we went our separate ways for now. We both have work to do and we just distract each other, anyway." Said Suzuki. He wished he could have taken that last part back. It sounded like they were back in school and their teacher had seated them on opposite ends of the classroom again. Like they were just a couple of adolescents….little more than children.
They were too old for this.
"Oh my God…" said Shiori. She covered her mouth and gasped like she was in a reaction box on a TV show. Touichirou was talking to his…she didn't even know. Friend with benefits? Lover? Ex-boyfriend? Best friend? Underling? She had no clue what to call this guy but she did know what this call meant. This was better than TV…
But of course she felt for Touichirou.
As entertaining as this was it was still a lot for anyone to go through. Breakups always were…and that was what she was seeing right now. She had no idea what they defined themselves as but she knew that she was watching it falling apart. She couldn't be selfish here. As much as she loved drama, when it wasn't happening to her, she loved Touichirou more. She reached over and took his hand in hers. He didn't pull away.
He didn't look at her but he didn't pull away.
"I am talking about…putting some distance between us…and don't talk to me like that." Said Suzuki. What the fuck indeed…not that he should have been thinking like that. Too crass, even in his own mind. This was…they had been apart before. Back when Sho had been born, when Shigeko had joined the family, when Masami had been around he'd placed Tadashi near his family. Near enough that he could go to them when they needed it but not so near that…that he had to worry. He hadn't liked the idea of another man in the house with Masami…but maybe he'd just had a problem with that particular man in his house.
Though not for Masami's sake.
"For the love of…Touichirou, if you're going to break up with this guy then just come out and tell him. You shouldn't draw these things out." Said Masami. She had been on both ends of this. It was best just to rip the bandage off and keep going. Touichirou made eye and aural contact with her. She held his gaze. She knew what she was talking about here.
She didn't need this in her life.
This man was the source of a good quarter of Touichirou's problems. The other three quarters were his three kids, and there was nothing that she could do about them, but this…it was such an easy fix. Touichirou had come to a conclusion about himself later in life than most, had figured it out with his best friend like they were a couple of roommates in university, and now that it was done he could drop this guy before he wound up with another bizarre problem that Shiori had to deal with. It shouldn't have been hard. Shiori had dumped men for less.
Though she was used to it.
"Tadashi, I think that we should break up." Said Suzuki quickly. It had been Shiori's idea and…and it probably would have sounded much better coming from her. When he said it, or rather choked it out, it sounded just…wrong. They weren't breaking up because they had never been together in that way. The way that Tadashi seemed to want…the way that Touichirou would have wanted if it had been an option.
It wasn't.
He was Suzuki Touichirou and he could have done whatever he wanted. If he wanted to be with a man then there wasn't a single being on this planet who could stop him. He was the most powerful man on earth, he'd known that for most of his life, and he could do whatever he wanted. Society's disproval…he should not have cared about it. He did not care about it. He didn't care about the looks he would get, the stares, the way it would damage his standing in the world if this ever got out….the way his son would use this as an excuse to throw away his entire branch of their bloodline…and he did have the bloodline to think about. Sho could not inherit. He couldn't be trusted to run a bath let alone Claw and Suzuki didn't think that Sho's son would do much better…
This was for the best.
If Suzuki had been a woman then there wouldn't have been any question. He would have been with Tadashi from the moment the option had presented its self. From the moment they'd met…no, no, he had been so annoying back then. He had been beyond annoying. He had been this…this person who had followed him home and touched all of his things and invited himself over for dinner…the first person outside of his family that he had ever shared a meal with…the first person outside of his family that he had ever slept in the same room with…the first…he had been a lot of firsts and at some point, if one of them had been born female, then they could have been…all the things that they both wanted to be…but it wasn't meant to be.
Suzuki had choices to make…and he chose the most logical one…unfortunately Tadashi didn't see it that way…
"Give me that." Said Shiori as she snatched the phone out of Touichirou's hand. She couldn't listen to another word of this. She knew that look, she knew that tone, she knew that aura. Touichirou was wavering. She had seen him waver before…for her…but this was not coming from a place of jealousy. This was coming from a place of not wanting her husband…her future husband. The father of her children.
Also she didn't much care for guys that couldn't take 'no' for an answer.
"Hello? Hi? Yeah, Touichirou is done with you. He doesn't want to be your anything anymore, alright? He's not going to be your boyfriend or whatever you're after so, please, hang up now and save yourself any extra embarrassment." Said Shiori. She held the phone away from her ear. That shouting wasn't really necessary at all. She was right here. Really, this was just embarrassing. What did he think? If he begged and pleaded for long enough he would change Touichirou's mind?
Actually…
She him. He had that kicked puppy expression. His aura was moving around, fidgeting, and he only did that when he was nervous. He was worried. He was bothered. He pretended that he didn't need anyone but she knew better. He actually cared a lot about the people closest to him. He was taking over the world for his children after all, to give them the one that he'd never had. The one that no esper had ever had. He also, in his own way, did what he thought was best for them. He loved his children…and he'd loved their mother, too. He had stayed faithful to her for years after she left him. He had been so wracked with guilt after the first time, that first time on her couch, that he'd literally run away. It had taken him a year, even, to admit that she had hurt him…he loved the people closest to him. The ones he'd let in. His children, his ex-wife, even Hatori. That man wasn't in any way related to him but Touichirou so clearly loved him like a son. He put up with so much from that man, more than Shiori would have been capable of if she had been in his place. He loved…he loved a lot of people.
Including her.
And including this man. He loved her so much…and he may have loved this man….she had seen that look. He had given her that look so many times, back when she hadn't been sure about this, back when she had even given thought to ending things. He'd been just as hurt. Touichirou threw himself into love with the same intensity as he threw himself into everything else…she loved that about him. She loved him…
He did not deserve this. Not from this guy.
"Listen, unless you want to be a piece of bread in this sandwich then I'd suggest you hang up. Goodbye." Said Shiori as she cut off the pleading on the other end of the line. She didn't care if she'd been rude, that she'd cut him off. He wasn't her problem and he wasn't Touichirou's either.
It was done.
"Shiori…what did you just do?" asked Suzuki. He felt…a vast array of feeling that he did not wish to deal with right now. She had hung up. She handed him his phone…it was definitely…the call was definitely over. Tadashi…she had said…he didn't even know where to start. Breaking up was so…so permanent…and he didn't know if he wanted…and the bread comment had been…he got the feeling that it was something sexual…something that of course he'd given thought to and…and he wasn't even going to begin to think about that…
Anymore than he had in the past.
He couldn't think right now, actually. Did this mean that it was over? But…but it couldn't have been over. He hadn't wanted it to be over. He had just wanted them to…to be in different locations for an unknown but very long length of time. That was different. This was…he had to call Tadashi back and explain that Shiori…that she hadn't spoken to him before making that judgment call. That she had acted on her own. He had to call….
It went right to voicemail.
He kept calm. He kept control. Shiori's cat hissed and ran off. He didn't blame it. Cats were supposedly very intelligent animals…though perhaps that show Mukai liked about the Siamese cats who wrote with their tails was a bit exaggerated…he wondered what Mukai was doing…what any of his children were doing…even Sho. That was…he could think about them. Even Shigeko. Even Sho. Even Mukai when she got angry and lost control of her emotions. The children…that was a safer topic than Tadashi…
Tadashi who refused to pick up the goddamned mother fucking phone.
"Touichirou, stop it. It's done." Said Shiori putting her hand over his. He pulled away.
"I never wanted to end things. I just wanted to put some space between us." Said Suzuki
"You can't have your cake and eat it too." Said Shiori. This was real. She could tell. She had eyes. She knew that look, she knew Touichirou, and she knew…she knew that she wasn't going to lose him like that. She was not going to lose everything that she had made with him. He may have been clingy, occasionally annoying, and downright bizarre but he was still hers.
Nobody was stealing her husband from her.
"I don't even like cake, you know that…but if I did like cake then why wouldn't I be allowed to eat it? It's my cake, hypothetically." Said Suzuki
"Actually…yeah, now that I think about it that saying makes no sense, ok. That one was my fault. What I meant was that….that I know how you feel about him, or what you think that you feel about him. I thought, in the beginning, that it was just some kind of experimentation for you but now…I love you and if you want to be with me then you can't have feelings for anyone else. Man or woman. I don't care if you sleep with another man, sleep with another woman and I'll kill you, but I do care if you get feelings for him…or another woman. If you can't agree to that then…then I don't know where that leaves us." Said Shiori
"You would…leave me?" asked Suzuki. This was…logical. Understandable. He would have offered her the same terms if he had been in her place. The thought of her in a sexual relationship with another woman was amazing but the thought of her…the thought of her falling in love with another woman made him feel like he was going to lose control…made him want to lose control…
He understood her. For once in his life he understood another human being totally and completely.
"Damn right I'd leave you, well actually I'd kick you out considering the fact that this is my house, but the point is still the same." Said Shiori. She clutched the ring…the one he'd given her. It was still in a chain around her neck. She wasn't going to take it off…she didn't want to have cause to take it off.
He better not have given her cause to take it off.
"I don't want that. I don't want us to separate and…and I understand. I understand your wants and…and I agree to your terms." Said Suzuki. She kissed him, then. She kissed him and held him. He held her back…gently. She was still hurt. She was still….she was who he had to worry about. He had to put her first and…and Tadashi…he could take care of himself. He wasn't Suzuki's anything. They were…they were broken up…
He didn't have time to think about this now.
This was…tiresome….this whole situation. It was also his fault. He was the one who had…he was the one who had started this. He had assumed that Tadashi would have agreed to never speak of this again just as he'd agreed to never speak of many of their…incidents…again. He had thought wrong. Tadashi wanted so much more than he could give at this time…or ever…but not more than he wanted. He wanted…
He wanted to secure the future.
He wanted a son. He wanted Claw to stand forever. He wanted to secure it all and…and he had no way of doing so without a child…and he wanted Shiori. He understood her and she understood him. Even Masami had never understood him so well. The only person who had ever understood him this well had been Tadashi…but that part was over now. He had to think about the future and to do so he had to let go of the past…their past.
The only person he needed was Shiori…and she needed him right now more than ever.