I could hear both the Little Bastard and Shanks calling out to me, but my stride never faltered. I just kept my hands pressed against Sora and Eli's backs as I continued to walk. I could still feel my cheeks burning and scowled deeply. I didn't know what had made Shanks and LB react like—well, like that—nor did I know what, exactly, they had said to my sons. But I wasn't sure if I even wanted to know. It couldn't have been too bad, as the boys didn't know what the older males had been talking about. But I did know that it was explicit enough that Sora and Eli had caught on to the innuendo.

I snarled softly. The men had probably been talking about one of the scantily-clad women that had been wandering around the hot springs and hadn't even realized that my boys were there. Who knows what they could have been saying? Or what if they had known that the twins were there, and had kept from saying anything too risque? Does that mean that LB and Shanks would have said, or—dear god, done—something more?! Perverts! Men were just sick, twisted perverts who needed to learn how to pay attention—

"You're muttering to yourself, Kitten."

I turned my squeak of surprise into an enraged snarl, even as I was unable to stop my kick from flying at Shanks' face. He easily caught the heel of my foot before it connected with his nose and I could read the thinly-veiled amusement in Shanks' dark eyes. I tried to yank my foot out of his grip, but the pirate held on for a moment, lightly squeezing before he let go. I had been trying so hard to pull myself free that I ended up loosing my balance, falling face-first into a densely muscled chest. The Little Bastard. I snarled again and pushed away from him, blowing my hair out of my face. Unlike Shanks, the LB wasn't trying to hide his growing smirk.

I took a deep breath in through my nose, pushing my hair back out of my face as I tried to regain some semblance of composure. "I was not muttering," I said calmly, avoiding looking at the two men.

"Whatever you say, Kitten," Shanks murmured and I could hear the grin in his voice.

It took all of my will power not to snarl again. Thankfully, I was saved by the arrival of Mask-Chan. He came jogging up to us, carrying a delicious-smelling, steaming bag of—

"Is that chicken?" I blurted out once he was standing in our group.

Despite the mask that covered his face, I could have sworn that I saw Mask-Chan blush. "I was hungry, so I figured everyone else would be too," he said gruffly. "I had seen a small market stand selling fried chicken on our way to the hot springs, so I went back and bought some for everybody."

As he spoke, Mask-Chan handed out boxes of the food, making my mouth water. I started to dig in to the chicken, moaning at the delightfully greasy bird. "You, my friend," I said around a mouthful of chicken, "are my favorite person right now."

When Elle had looked at the masked man like he was a new-found god, Shanks had felt a sharp pang of jealousy. When she had let out a small, breathy moan around a mouthful of the food, that pang had turned to a flame that pooled deep in Shanks' belly. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed the younger pirate jerk slightly, as if he, too, were affected by the sound. Then Elle had called the masked man her favorite person and Shanks had been unable to keep his frown off of his face.

"It's just some food," the kid grumbled, even as he took a bite. "It's not like Killer saved your life."

Elle scowled at the maroon-haired man, but didn't stop eating, even as she answered. "No, but Mask-Chan has the added bonus of not being a pervert, so the chicken makes him damn-near perfect," she snapped.

The young pirate scowled right back at Elle. "I don't know why you're mad at me," he snapped. "I'm not the one who said inappropriate things around children."

Shanks choked on his bite and turned an incredulous glare on the kid. "You—you're the one who brought it up!" He sounded like a petulant child, but, to be fair, Shanks didn't like it when Elle was upset with him. So he could be excused if he acted childish.

"Only 'cause you got a hard-on watching Senpai rip that chick apart!"

"Like you're one to talk!"

Elle's vicious snarl echoed through the clearing they were standing in, making Shanks and the kid fall silent. Her pretty eyes were closed and Shanks could see a small vein throbbing on her forehead. Behind the Cat-Woman, their children stood, shaking with the effort of keeping their laughter bottled up. The masked man was somehow able to convey his confusion, despite his face being covered. Elle tore the last piece of meat off of a bone before tossing it into the woods. She carefully licked the grease off of her fingers and Shanks' mouth went dry. When she was done, Elle took a deep breath and opened her vibrant eyes.

Glaring at both of them, she asked calmly, "What, exactly, did you two say in front of the twins?"

Seeing the effort it was taking her to remain calm, Shanks thought about the face she had made upon seeing the effect she had on the men. A small smirk pulled at Shanks' lips. It was—interesting, to say the least, to see her so flustered. And Shanks just knew that if he told her what he and that kid had been discussing, he would see a similar reaction. Shanks shifted from foot to foot, casually putting his hand in his pocket to adjust his growing excitement. Shanks met Elle's yellow stare, grinned widely, and told her exactly what they had said.

"I... You... Wha..."

Oh, dear. It appears that he had over-loaded her mind. Elle gaped at Shanks, her mouth opening and closing like a fish on land. Shanks could all but see his words swimming around inside her head, see the full meaning sink in. And her reaction was more than he could have hoped for. Not only did her face turn a lovely shade of crimson, but the color ran over her neck and chest as well. Her pert mouth snapped shut with a loud click! and Elle's lower lip quivered slightly. Faster than he could blink, Elle's hand covered her face as she spun around and crouched down.

"OHMYGODYOUDIDNOTSAYTHAT!" she screeched, loud enough that all of the males around her flinched. Elle's head snapped up and she glared at Shanks over her shoulder, her furious eyes peaking through her pale fingers. "PERVERT!"

"Maaaa," Eli whined, poking her shoulder. "You never told us what that means."

Elle let out another shriek before her entire body froze. She lowered her hands before slowly rising to her feet. She turned to face Shanks, who had the good sense to take a step back from the evil gleam in her eyes. Her face was still bright red, but that was pure malice in her wide grin.

"Well, boys," she said sweetly, "that sounds like something you should ask the man himself."

Oh, shit.

I could see the panic welling in Shanks' dark eyes and had to fight back my maniacal cackle. So he wanted to play dirty. Well, I can play dirty. "Well, Shanks?" I prompted, keeping my voice saccharine and innocent. "What did you mean?"

Shanks' dark gaze slowly shifted to the Little Bastard, but he would find no help there. LB was standing next to Mask-Chan, his large arms crossed over his broad chest and a smirk gracing his lips. His forehead crinkled slightly on one side of his face, so I assumed that he had raised an eyebrow at the older pirate. Shanks' now pleading gaze snapped to Mask-Chan, but he wasn't any help either. Mask-Chan was too busy slurping noodles up through the holes in his ma—wait, where the hell did he get noodles? Chicken-flavored noodles, if my nose was to be believed.

I jerked my attention from Mask-Chan's delicious-smelling food when Shanks cleared his throat. There was a gleam in his eye that made my stomach twist. "Well, boys," he said calmly, "What I said earlier has a simple meaning, but I'm not sure you want to know what it is." When Sora and Eli just grumbled that they weren't little kids and could handle it, Shanks' grin widened into a smirk. "Fine, fine. But don't say that I didn't warn you."

Shanks casually sauntered over to me and wrapped his arm around my shoulder. I scowled and started to pull out of his grasp, but he leaned down and whispered into my ear, "You asked for it." His words made me freeze and slowly look up at the evil, evil pirate. "Boys, has your mother ever explained where babies come from?"

Where the hell was he going with that? My confusion was mirrored on both of the small boys' faces. Sora said, "Mama never did, but Dadan and Makino tried to explain it to us—"

"—When Makino had her baby," Eli finished. "But it was gross, so we went to go train with Pa—"

"—Luffy," Sora interrupted, covering his brother's mouth. He allowed his younger brother to remove it as they both asked, "But what does that have to do with what you were saying?"

Where the hell is he going with this? I thought, turning a confused glare up at Shanks. Getting a hard-on watching a cat fight (Ha!) between two women just made you a pervert, it had nothing to do with making babies—Oh my god, you are not going to say what I think you're—

"Well, when a man sees a beautiful woman, a strange thing happens. He starts to feel—well, excited, for lack of a better word," Shanks continued, quickly covering my mouth before I could say anything. "When the kid—" a jerk of his chin at the Little Bastard, "—and I saw your mother fighting, that excitement filled our bodies and made us—ah—tense."

Shanks pulled me tight against his chest, his hand tightening over my mouth to hold in the words that were desperately trying to spill out. I could feel his body shake against my back as he tried to keep from laughing. One glace over at the Little Bastard showed that he was torn between our reactions. His dark eyes were wide, but his lips appeared to be twitching as if he were fighting a smile. Oo, I was so going to pay them back for this.

"Again," Eli said, his crimson brows drawing together in a scowl that was mirrored on his brother's face. "What does this—,"

"—Have to do with what you were saying?" Sora finished, his voice a near growl.

"Well, ya see, boys," the Little Bastard cut in, sauntering over to Shanks and I. He took up a position behind us, slightly to our right. "When a man feels that tension rise up in his body, it means that he wants to make a baby." To emphasize his point, the Little Bastard reached around me and placed his hand on my stomach. "Red-Hair and I were simply commenting on the fact that we were both experiencing the same feeling."

As understanding lit up the twins' faces, I felt my cheeks burst into flames. As their understanding turned into disgust mingled with horror, I felt the rest of my face catch fire. The boys both started screaming about how we were right, they really didn't want to know what they had been talking about. They quickly embraced each other and ran over to Mask-Chan, begging for him to save them. Despite the mask that covered his face, I could still see the panic fill his gaze.

Yeah, there was one guy who didn't know what to do with children. And, speaking of children, I could feel the smirks that were plastered over both Shanks and the Little Bastard's faces. I quickly closed my eyes and willed my heart to calm, the blood to leave my face. Almost in tandem, I felt the men standing behind me lean down and put their mouths close to my ears.

"I tried to warn ya, Kitten," Shanks whispered, "that you didn't want me to explain it to them."

At the same time, the Little Bastard whispered, "Payback's a bitch, ain't it?"

A vein throbbing on my forehead, I quickly slammed my elbows back into the stomachs of the perverted pirates. Before they could recover from the quick exodus of air from their lungs, I spun around and punched both men in the face. As they fell back into the snow, I gave both of them a one-fingered salute and stalked back to the cabin.

Pirates are perverts. Every last one of them.

A/N: I'm back, baby! I know it's been for-ev-er since I updated, but in my defense, I've had a rough year. Y'know, moving to a different state, starting a new job, finding a new place to live...It all piles up. Add in to the fact that I faced some major writers block and it leads to a very long, unplanned hiatus. But it is over! (At least for now...) I know that this chapter isn't as long as I normally make them, but I wanted to quickly give you guys an update. Hopefuly more will soon follow! But until then, I hope you guys enjoyed the latest chapter of Akagami Shiro Neko!