Author's Note: I'm not a major Lily/Snape shipper, but in my secret suspicions file, I do also believe that Snape had a hidden crush of our little "mudblood" friend. So what would happen if – god forbid – I actually show you the path – inside his mind – that shows how much Snape really does adore Evans? And, until – if, that is – JKR shows us why Voldemort offered the choice for her to step aside and live, I will now believe that it was Snape's doing. Snape was, possibly, so in love with our friend Evans, that, upon finding out that she was the mother of this prophesized child, he begged Voldemort to let her live. So … where would that story begin? Right here. In this one-shot.
Favor, please: I honestly – I swear – hate to sound like one of those authors always begging for a review like some homeless dude on the street, begging for "spare change" but, if you have a "spare review" could you please, y'know … give 'em to me? I really, really, REALLY love reviews and I honestly love to read how much you love – or hate, you know, it depends – my story. So, when you're done reading, could you please … review!
P.S.: As usual, sorry for any typos. I try my best to catch them. But when its nearing midnight and there's a TOTAL HOTTIE (-cough- my crush) on aim that I'm talking to… well it's just a TAD hard to catch all the errors. LOL.
-PICK THE FALLEN PETAL-
Severus Snape just couldn't take his eyes off of her. His quill was drooping in his hand, black ink dropping in little wet blobs onto his copy of Advanced Potion-Making, but he didn't seem to notice. His eyes were too transfixed by the sexy red color of her shiny hair and the way it moved gracefully around her shoulders when she shook it out of her face.
If someone had been documenting his every move and expression – word and detail – they could easily say this:
Snape's eyes were glossed over in obvious thoughts of delight with drool forming at the corners of his lips in near ecstasy.
"Oh, marvelous, Miss Evans! Positively marvelous! That'll be another A-plus in the books today for your work, I see!" boasted the voice of their potions teacher, Professor Slughorn.
"Oh, thank you, Professor," Lily said with a giggle, blushing as she vanished her A-plus potion.
"Will you be coming to the dinner tonight?" the professor asked as she began to pack up her bags.
"Oh," Lily said with signs of disappointment. "Well, you see, I have to help some fifth years study this evening, and I'm not sure how long that'll last. I'm sorry, Professor, but I probably won't make it," Lily finished with a sad smile.
"No worries! You're doing something for other people – never yourself. Young lady, you need to find yourself a man to keep your mind occupied. You're always helping others. Just find a nice boy that loves you and -"
James Potter, of course, came skidding around the desk, positively beaming, mussing up his hair as he smiled at Lily.
If the Marauders had had their way, they would have, of course, attached a large blinking neon arrow right above James's head with a curly neon sign that blinked "ME" every two seconds to his arm. But, James put his foot down on that idea, commenting that he really didn't want a flashback. From last time.
FLASHBACK
"So there's this thing my parents want me to attend when we get back to London. It's like a dance, apparently, with a bunch of their work friends and their kids and such. But … trouble is, I don't have a date," Lily said with a sigh to her friends.
"Oh, Lily," said Alice, patting her friend on the back. "You'll find someone to go with you. It's over the winter holidays right? Well, I guarantee you some guy will just come popping out of thin air and ask you to go."
James rounded the corner, looking very eager with a large neon arrow pointing down towards his head, the curly cursive letters beside the arrow blinking "ME" as he grinned stupidly at her.
"I'd be happy to take you, Evans," James declared, adjusting his arrow.
"Oh, Prongsie!" Peter exclaimed, coming bustling around the corner to where James stood before Lily could respond. "You've got a schmootz on your bum, James."
James looked down at his friend with a glare.
"A what?" he asked in mocked politeness.
"A schmootz. You've got some neon paint on your bum. Here, let me get it for you," Peter offered, and before James could object, he'd licked his thumb and begun to rub the paint of James's rear. Of course, he did yell in shock and back away from his "friend."
James glanced back at Lily with wide eyes.
"Well, Potter," Lily said with remorse, "I was going to say I'd be delighted to go with you … but it turns out you're gay. Drats," she said, snapping her fingers and walking away.
By dinnertime it had spread all over the school that James Potter was gay.
The only way he'd been able to surpass this rumor was to snog a random chick during the following Hogsmeade visit. Sirius, however, had thought it would be better for James to snog him so they could see how weird it'd have been if James was gay. This plan, however, was not used but did, indeed, raise some eyebrows and the Marauders made special decision not to change near Sirius for a good month to make sure he wasn't gay.
END OF FLASHBACK
"Oh, sorry, Potter, m'boy," Slughorn said with a chuckle. "I'm thinking someone who exceeds a bit more in Potions – and possibly someone from a different house." His gaze flickered around the room. If Snape had been stupid enough to think happy thoughts, he could have jumped at the idea that Slughorn's eyes rested on him for a fraction longer than the rest of the class. But … of course, he was sure they hadn't.
"Oh," James said sadly and walked away, his arrow seeming limper than before.
"No, Miss Evans," Slughorn continued. "Maybe a Slytherin would do you good."
Lily's eyes widened in shock.
"Surely not, Professor!" she exclaimed. "You know full well that all Slytherins hate us Gryffindors!"
Snape felt a nasty churn in his stomach at her remark.
"Don't be so sure of yourself, Miss Evans," Slughorn said with a wink before walking off to check on the rest of the class's finished work.
"What ever did that mean?" Lily questioned Alice, who sat beside her.
"I haven't the faintest idea," Alice answered quietly. "But I'm off to talk to Frank. See you after lunch, Lily."
With that Alice stood up and marched away, leaving Lily alone at her table, just a foot away from Snape's nasty mind.
With a relaxing sigh, Lily stretched her spine out over the back of her chair, and, while stretching, found her upside down face facing Snape's smiling face.
Lily snapped up and clamped a hand over her mouth. Had Snape really just smiled at her?
She glanced around the room to check that no one was watching her.
Slughorn had just told her that a Slytherin might do her good. She honestly didn't know how to interpret that, but why not just talk to a Slytherin. Sure, said Slytherin was a slimy git and she was sure as hell not going to date the slime ball – but why not just talk to him? She'd stood up for him last year, after all.
She turned around slowly in her seat and turned to face Snape. He looked positively shocked to see her facing him.
"So," Lily said, drawing a long 's.' "Whatcha writing?" she asked, leaning over to read his copy of Advanced Potion-Making. The identical copy that was smothered in small, cramped writing full of tips and tricks.
Snape was just a bit too preoccupied with the idea that Lily was talking to her to notice that she'd flipped his book around and begun to read it.
"Oh, I've tried this," she said, pointing out one of his tips. "It's true, that it really does give you more juice. I did it on accident once, and it's never failed me yet." She smiled up at him.
"Wha- ? Oh. Yeah. Er … well I have a lot of those. The book's covered in them," Snape answered, wanting to impress Evans more and more with each word.
"Really?" Lily asked, obviously interested. She flipped through the pages and paused at occasional hints to read. "Can I borrow this?" she asked after a moment, glancing back up at Snape with another smile.
Snape had been a bit preoccupied with watching Lily.
"Oh. Sure," he said without really thinking. Why not let her read of all his accomplishments? Surely he was better than … Potter.
"Thanks," Lily said. She smiled sweetly once again, giving Snape a million butterflies in his stomach.
The bell rang distantly to Snape, but he was too far off in happiness to hear it. Lily was in the same position, but she was just to preoccupied with his book to hear it.
"Hey, Evans," said a smooth voice from off to her right. She glanced up and winced.
"Potter," Lily said curtly, turning her chin up towards him with an icy glare.
James smiled to her but turned an evil snarl to Snape.
"She's out of your league, Snivellus," James growled. "You had better run off and play with your little potions set before I ever catch you looking at Evans again."
"I wouldn't like that filthy mudblood if anyone paid me too," Snape spat back with a fuming glare. How had Potter figured it out?
"Run along Snivelly," James repeated. "Evans isn't your type."
Sirius scoffed from beside him.
"That's for sure," Sirius said with a grin, standing coolly beside James. "I've caught him snogging Malfoy in corners – and his cauldron too, come to think of it," he added with a snarl.
"Malfoy?" James echoed. "Even he's out of your league, Snape."
Snape threw another menacing glare at the Marauders and yanked his bag up from his chair and stalked off out of the room.
"You didn't have to be so rude, Potter," Lily said sharply, glowering angrily at him.
"C'mon, Evans," James said, attempting to cover up his sting of pain. "You saw how he was looking at you. He obviously fancies you and you're way out of his league."
"How do you know that, Potter?" Lily snapped, swinging her bag over her shoulder and clutching Snape's copy of Advanced Potion-Making to her chest as she stormed out of the room before James could edge in a stuttering syllable.
XxXxXxX
"You're quite sure you've got in, then?" Lily asked quietly.
"We're sure," said a small fifth year girl, also quietly. They were in the library, finishing up studying for their final OWL the next day.
"Then you can be off," Lily said, grabbing her own bags and walking out of the library.
Stopping outside the kitchens entrance, Lily slid down the wall and sat down on the cold floor, pulling open Snape's potions book. She furrowed her brow as she read, and positively screamed when she heard the devil himself appear.
There, standing in front of her was none other than Severus Snape.
"Oh! Sorry!" she said, clamping a hand over her mouth for the second time that day in his presence. "You scared me!" she said in a way of explanation.
"Sorry," Snape mumbled, offering his hand to help her up.
"Thanks," Lily said, gripping his hand and allowing him to pull her up.
Electric shocks spread up Snape's arm as her petal soft skin touched his own and he made the silent vow to never wash his hand again.
"Your notes are very interesting," Lily said as they began walking.
"Really? You think so?" Snape asked, unable to keep the enthusiasm out of his voice.
"Yeah," Lily said, obviously detecting it and smiling once again at him. "I do."
If only Snape misinterpreted that there would be no Harry Potter.
"After years of potions, I've finally realized some punk in future generations might wind up with my book and I mise well help him with his potions grade," Sirius said, using humor. For, like, the first time. In his LIFE.
"I wonder who that could be," Lily laughed.
"Our kid, maybe."
Um … pardon?
"I mean, like your kid, or – or my kid. Y'know," Snape said hastily, to cover up his 'accidental phrase.'
Lily laughed. "Yeah, sure."
The pair walked in silence for exactly twenty steps before Lily spoke up.
"I'm sorry about Potter and his little gang. They were really rude to you today."
Snape walked forward silently, digesting her words.
"There's no need to apologize, Evans," he said, examining his trainers. "Potter did it – not you."
"I know … but he's only doing it 'cause – 'cause he says he likes me," Lily said, disbelief towards James's emotions in her voice.
"He's too arrogant and loud for you," Snape said, feeling as if he was egging her on – towards him, that is.
"I know," Lily said with a sigh. "I might take into consideration what Slughorn said. I might look into finding someone in another House."
Snape nearly tripped over his own feet in delight.
"I mean – Gryffindors – brave and all? That's got to cause some conflict, right?" She looked over at Snape to hear his opinion.
"Er – yeah," he stammered. "What House would you look in?" he asked after a moment of Lily's thoughtful silence.
Lily bit her lip in thought, tracing her finger over the spine of Advanced Potion-Making, which was clutched close to her chest again.
"Know anyone in Slytherin who'd date a muggle-born?" Lily asked, raising her eyebrows in mock curiosity.
"Yeah," Snape said quietly.
"Really?" she asked, perplexed.
"Yep."
"Wow. I wonder who it could be."
"Mm-mmm."
"So," Lily said after they had walked up two flights of stairs.
"Yes?" Snape asked, shoving his hands down in his pockets.
Lily was silent for a minute before answering.
"You don't suppose Potter really likes me, do you?"
"You're a glorious trophy that he wants in his collection," Snape said monotonously.
Lily bit her lip again, nodding her head in agreement to something in her mind.
They had arrived at the portrait of the Fat Lady.
"See you in the morning, Severus," Lily said, waving goodbye to him.
"See you in the morning," he echoed. "Lily," he added quietly after she'd walked inside.
XxXxXxX
"If Evans picks a slime ball – a Slytherin – over a sexy pure-blood Gryffindor, I just might place a barrel of Blast-Ended Skrewts on top of a fiery pit and jump off the Astronomy tower while Avada-Kedavering myself," James said fiercely, stabbing his breakfast potatoes.
"Prongs, she isn't going to chose Snape over you," Peter said confidently. "She'll choose a smart Ravenclaw or something."
"Are you saying I'm not smart?" James growled, stabbing Peter in the chest with his fork (and potato).
"No. I'm – I'm – oh sod it," squeaked Peter. He picked up his bag and scrambled out of the Great Hall as James pelted him with fruit.
A Hufflepuff, however, saw him take two melons with him.
"You don't really think she'll pick him over me, do you?" James asked weakly, looking at his two "real" friends for support.
"Of course not – she'd never – er, never mind," Sirius said, moving hastily to block James's view of the Slytherin table.
"C'mon, mate," Remus said, taking his friend by the shoulders. "We need to get to class."
"What's going on? What're you hiding from me? What is it?" James asked pathetically, attempting to see what was behind Sirius.
"Nothing, Prongs," Sirius said, pushing James out of the Great Hall.
But nothing was certainly not nothing.
Nothing was Lily Evans sitting down next to Severus Snape.
At the Slytherin table.
XxXxXxX
"Can I at least have your broomstick?"
"Sirius – cut it out. This is not a joking moment," Remus said sternly, wagging a finger in his direction. Then, turning around he let out a shriek. "James! No!"
"You can't stop me, Moony!" James yelled triumphantly as limbs flailed around helplessly.
"Then what am I doing, Prongs?" he asked sarcastically.
Cause, you know, Remus was holding James by the robes and was currently putting him into a headlock.
"Just lemme go, Moony!" James cried sadly, holding back tears.
"No, James. This is not a reason for doing this!"
"Yes it is!" James screamed. His voice echoed across the grounds.
"Hey," Peter said from beside them. "I think the Skrewts are hungry. Should I throw them something?"
Before anyone could do anything, James ran like a determined goose to the edge of the Astronomy tower, leaping off the edge and with a scream he fell down to the pit of Skrewts and was eaten alive.
The End.
Sad little fairy tail, isn't it?
-Sighs-
Gosh. Fine. I guess you want the sodding story to continue. Fiiiiiiiiine.
Geez.
-Rewinds film-
Before anyone could do anything, James ran like a determined goose to the edge of the Astronomy tower and leapt of the edge.
He then let out a high pitched scream when Remus caught him round the neck.
And was making him turn blue.
"YOU BLOODY MORON!" Remus hollered, attempting to pull his wand out of his sleeve with his teeth. "ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL YOURSELF?"
"Actually, Moony," Sirius said calmly, examining his nails. "That's, like, an oxy moron or something, 'cause you knew he was up here trying to kill himself. That's why he ordered all these Skrewts and stuff." He indicated the ugly creatures below on Hogwarts grounds.
"SHUT THE RUDDY HELL UP, PADFOOT!" Remus roared. "JAMES, YOU IDIOT, EVANS WILL KILL HER BLOODY SELF IF YOU DIE!"
"Sh-sh-she would?" James croaked as Remus flicked his wand and James was returned to level ground.
"Of course she would. Everyone knows she secretly adores you. Blubbering idiot," he added under his breath.
"You think so?" James asked, seeming to perk at the words.
"Of course I do," said Remus. "Now head down the stairs to the common room. Chop, chop, Prongs."
As James and Peter wandered ahead back towards the Gryffindor common room, Sirius lagged behind a couple steps to walk in pace with Remus.
"You really think that?" Sirius asked in an undertone as they made their was down the steps.
"Of course not. Evans hates him. He hasn't got a chance. But he's got a better chance shagging a Hufflepuff when he isn't dead."
XxXxXxX
"So this is interesting," Lily said flatly, drawing long 'S's for each word.
"Very," Alice said staring ahead at the person in front of her.
Someone in the room coughed.
Lily scratched her nose.
Alice sniffed.
"Well say something already, please," Lily said impatiently after this ritual was repeated stupidly for the seventh time.
"But I don't know what to say, Lily!" Alice exclaimed, looking sadly at her friend.
"So I'm just supposed to make out the answer on my own?" Lily asked incredulously.
"I just don't know. Snape – Snape is … well – Snape is – Snape…" Alice trailed off with a pained expression on her face. "Lily I just don't know! You'll have to make up your own mind. I still stand by what I said before."
FLASHBACK
"Lily, Potter is in love with you," Alice declared happily. "Date the bloke, marry him, have a kid that is in sanely like James then die an early death! That'll suit you. Just go do it. Carpe Diem. Get married tonight in Hogsmeade if you like. Just – date – the – bloke. He's nice and sweet and he likes you. And he wont shut up about you," she added in an undertone.
"Ha ha ha. When pigs fly," Lily said with a laugh.
James Potter (who came from Merlin knows where) immediately conjured 50 pigs and bewitched them to fly around Lily, squawking "Date me, Lily."
Animal cruelty to a new level.
"Damn you, Potter," Lily hissed.
END OF FLASHBACK
"I'm sorry, Lily," Alice said quietly, standing up to leave the library. "I just can't help you."
She patted her friend on the back then walked out of the library, leaving Lily to ponder the depths of "love."
XxXxXxX
"A mudblood."
"That's rather harsh, don't you think?"
"Mudblood. Mud-blood."
"I know what she is."
"Then what the ruddy hell is your sodding problem?"
"Nothing."
"Do you not understand that she is a mudblood? She is completely the opposite of our race. She is filth compared to us."
"I know what we are and I know what she is but that holds no barriers to-" Snape bit his lip. "Love," he said finally. And quietly.
"I am not kidding you. And I would rather not discuss this now."
"But we have to! What do you think the Dark Lord would say when the bloke finds out that you've fallen in love with a Mudblood? We despise all of them! We kill them for our enjoyment for Merlin's sake! How could you get yourself in this mess?"
"The Dark Lord has his own views and I have mine. I am respectively skilled in keeping my secrets and he really ought to know that when it comes to loyalty."
"You are falling in love with a Mudblood, Snape! A mudblood! The little mudblood brat that that prat Potter likes! What do you think will come of this?"
"I don't think anything will come of this. But these are my Hogwarts days and I will not die a bloody Virgin, thank you very much!" Snape hissed. "But if you must be so stupid to inconvene, I must just mention this: Evans is something particularly beyond belief. The Dark Lord has his own fancies on her when Bellatrix tells her tales to him so just stand aware that she is special. And this might prove of good knowledge, especially if the Dark Lord needs her. Who else is but so close to her?"
Snape knew this was a gold star next to his name but in the Book of Love he knew it just demoted him to beyond Hell.
"I'd thank you to keep your nose out of other people's business from now on," he snapped to his friend before storming off.
There sure was going to be hell to pay.
XxXxXxX
"This is just about the coolest thing I've ever seen," Lily said, flipping a page in Snape's Advanced Potion-Making.
"Thanks," Snape said quietly. He really wasn't used to all these compliments.
The pair was sitting out near the lake, Lily with her bare feet in the water, Snape acting comfortable when really cringing at exposure to sunlight.
"Hey, can I ask you something?" Lily asked after silence, something that was becoming very common in their talks.
"Sure."
"Well, next Sunday is a Hogsmeade trip – would you like to go with me?" Lily asked, blushing.
"Um," Snape said.
If he said that he'd love to his sneer of "mudblood" would be crumpled up and tossed in the trash and no one would think to believe any future threats. They'd all ask how the hell he'd lost his dick overnight.
"Um… okay," he said finally.
"Great," Lily said, now smiling.
"Lily?" asked a male voice from behind them.
Turning, Lily saw Remus standing tentatively near them, waiting for her.
"Oh hi, Remus!" she said happily. "What's up?"
Remus glanced towards Snape.
"Can I talk to you, please?" he asked.
Lily, too, glanced over at Snape, but sent an apologetic look along with it.
"Sure, Remus. One sec."
Lily gathered her bags and stood up to leave.
"I'll talk to you later, Severus. I'm sorry I have to leave so soon."
"No matter," he said quietly.
In silence Lily followed Remus up to the school, up two flights of stairs down three separate corridors, through a door, through what appeared to be a solid wall and she stopped suddenly, nearly slamming into him.
"Lily, I need to talk to you."
"I gathered that much, Remus," Lily said, sounding very rude.
"This is about Snape."
"Don't you go all Potter on me! He's not as bad as he seems!"
"I'm not going to try to dissuade you from doing Merlin knows what with that bloke, but I am going to tell you that James has attempted suicide three times in the last forty-eight hours and he is currently having a Cheering Charm placed on him every twenty minutes by Sirius and Peter and is being fed chocolate like it was his only life support – which it might be, come to think of it."
"Lily," he continued. "I don't want to tell you that James is the one for you and I don't want to tell you that he's right and you're wrong. I don't want to force you into something you obviously don't want and I don't want to pull you out of something you obviously do want. But, Lily, I need you to know that James is insanely in love with you and every time he sees you with Snape he pales and comes to a point of near tears."
Lily tried to interrupt him but he silenced him.
"You need to understand that James is something that everyone wants. He's not after you just because he can't have you. He's not like that. There are so many girls drooling after him and he chooses to ignore them because he loves you. I'm not saying that he'll be gone when you finally come to your senses but please know that whatever you decide will affect him greatly."
Lily looked like she was going to cry for a couple minutes before speaking in a calm and firm voice.
"I appreciate your concern and I see where you're going, Remus. But what I want is not your business, nor is it Potter's. Like you said, he's got a million other girls in love with him. He can go snog them for all I care. Tell him to fall in love with someone else," she finished with an evil snap.
"Just because you could do that Lily, doesn't mean he can," Remus said quietly. Obviously not quietly enough.
"What?" Lily barked. "What on Earth do you mean by that?"
Remus sucked in a deep breath, steadying himself.
"Personally, I think you fell in love with James ages ago. I think that you fell in love and you didn't like it for some unknown reason. You told yourself that you didn't love him and you made yourself fall in love with somebody else. Not everyone can do that, Lily," Remus finished softly before walking away, leaving Lily in an unwanted silence to let his words sink in.
XxXxXxX
"I'm going to get fat, guys. I won't fit on a broom anymore at this rate."
"You'll fit on a broom, Prongs," Sirius said, shoving another piece of chocolate in his mouth. "Like, one of those fat-people brooms. Like the really strong ones that move at, like, 4mph or something."
James glared at his friend.
"You know what I'm talking about, don't you? They're really wide and have this harness strap to keep you on so you don't fall off. Cause, y'know, when someone fat falls off a broom they could kill whoever is below them. Kill! And, like, that would not be fun. Imagine 400 pounds of fat landing on you. That'd be depressing to have written on your tombstone: 'Killed by falling fat lady.' Depressing," Sirius said, shaking his hand.
James's eyebrows narrowed even more.
"Oh, c'mon, Prongs! You know what I'm talking about! We'll strap you to one of those fat people brooms. They've got the really bushy end and stuff? You know! C'mon!"
"I'm not fat yet, Padfoot," James snarled. "But now that you were so kind enough to point out my weight, I just might look into Anorexia a bite more, thanks." James sniffed. "Or Bulimia," he said, stuffing a hunk of chocolate in his mouth.
"Aren't girls the only ones that worry about Anorexia and Bulimia?" a stupid Peter asked from besides James.
"Ha, yeah right," Sirius scoffed. "These girls have some weight piled on their hips, butts, thighs – everywhere. I doubt they even know the name of it."
"Well you're kind, Pads," James growled.
"I never said I didn't like fat," Sirius said, defending himself.
"Then go shag that fat lady that fell on you," he said icily.
"I resent that," Sirius sniffed.
Sirius and James remained glaring partners for the duration of chocolate consumption, but turned to the more pressing matter: Lily Evans.
"Mate," Sirius said sadly, "you really should drop it. She won't ever notice that you love her – and she won't notice that she loves you."
"I'm not going to forget her, nor am I going to give up on her. It'll show that I really, truly, am in love with her if I keep going. I won't stop if she says so. I'm following my bloody heart right now and that's all I know to guide me."
"Then we'll call to back-order the Skrewts. I have a feeling we'll need them."
XxXxXxX
Lily stood on the edge of the Forbidden Forest, trailing along next to the trees, her gaze focused on the glossy surface of the lake, lost beyond lost in thought.
"Evans," said a voice softly from behind her.
Lily wanted to beg that it was Severus coming to walk with her but even as she thought it she knew it wasn't true. She knew who she wanted it to be, she knew who it was, she knew the pain triggering inside of her, she knew it all. Instead she sucked up her niceness and stowed it away.
"Yes, Potter?" she asked curtly.
"Lily," James said with emphasis. "Mind if I walk with you?" he asked.
Lily studied him, unsure of what to say.
"If you must."
The two walked in silence for a couple minutes. James was thinking of what to say, his hands shoved deep down in his trouser pockets, watching his trainers as he walked.
Lily, however, was thinking, but she held her cloak wrapped closely around her as she wondered what the hell she was going to do.
"Go out with me, Lily, please," James said suddenly. "Just give me a chance to prove to you that I'm not as arrogant as I seem. Just give me a chance to show you that I really do love you. Please, Lily, just give me a chance," he finished quietly.
"I am sick of your stupid begging, Potter," Lily snarled, whipping out her wand, preparing herself to curse him into the past.
"Lily, please, just give me a chance," James begged again, his eyes growing round with exasperation.
"I'm sick of you, Potter, I'm absolutely sick of you," Lily snapped.
The words came out like daggers that stabbed and twisted James's heart and to Lily, the knowledge that she had said them to him made the words sting like fire in her ears. She couldn't believe she had just done that. She couldn't believe that Remus's words were sinking in.
"Lily – look," James began but he never got a chance to finish.
Thoughts were racing through Lily's mind and she was absolutely enraged at James. She was so upset that he was perfect, she was mad that he was in love with her, she was pissed that she'd pushed him away time and time again and she was absolutely, moronically mad that she had tried to fall in love with someone else.
All emotions crammed into one Lily thought back to a moment in reading.
Sectumsempra: for enemies.
With "for enemies" ringing in her ears, Lily raised her wand, ready to see him blasted across the room or to sprout antlers – something terrible – and thought, will all her might: Sectumsempra!
James let out a horrified gasp as pain splintered through his body and blood splashed wildly out of his chest.
Lily screamed at the sight and ran to James and collapsed next to his limp body on the ground and screamed "HELP!" at the top of her lungs as she attempted to save him.
"James, no, no, no, no, James, please don't die on me, please don't! James! James, James, James! Please don't! I'm so sorry! I didn't know what it'd do! James!" Lily cried desperately as tears streamed down her cheeks.
Distantly she heard people running down the stone steps of the castle but her eyes were lingering on James's. They were slowly closing, slowly ending in pain…
"James, no, no, James, please don't close your eyes. Stay awake, James, please," Lily begged. She thought frantically of what she could do and no other thought came to mind.
She leaned down and kissed him firm and long on the lips. James's eyes snapped open at her touch and his body seemed to relax slightly with her body thrown across his chest and her hands in his hair, holding onto his head and begging him with her heart to not die.
"James, please don't die, please don't. James – I love you, I love you I love you I love you I love you. Please, James, I love you. Don't die." Tears were pouring down her face and her cheeks burned red from panic.
"Miss Evans, please step aside," said Professor McGonagall from beside her. "We need to take Mr. Potter to the Hospital Wing."
Lily sniffed as they conjured a stretcher and took James towards the Hospital Wing. She followed in a heap of tears, sobbing every time she caught sight of the blood on James's chest.
She watched the doors close to the Hospital Wing and distantly heard McGonagall telling her to return to her common room. Her eyes glazed over in thought and all she could hear in her ears was the ring of revenge, revenge, revenge.
But Lily didn't want revenge. She knew she didn't want revenge. But she was hurt. Really hurt.
She ran like a bullet up to her common room and yanked Snape's Advanced Potion-Making from her bag, ripping the corner of the book off in the process. No matter, it wasn't hers and it was a wretched book.
She tore down the stairs and ran down to where she knew the Slytherin common room was. Snape had told her the password the night before so she shouted it to the entrance and ran inside to the moldy green and black room.
She quickly found Snape lounging on one of the black leather sofas and stormed up to him.
"I HATE YOU!" Lily screamed at the top of her lungs as he stood up 'glad' to see her.
"Wha -?" Snape asked, but he was unable to get the word out.
"YOU AND YOUR STUPID BOOK! YOU ARE A CRUEL AND SICK LITTLE BOY THAT ENJOYS TO WATCH OTHERS IN PAIN! THAT STUPID SPELL OF YOURS HAS LANDED JAMES IN THE HOSPITAL WING! I HATE YOU!" Lily repeated, tears streaming down her face. Everyone in the common room was watching with interest. After all, a mudblood was in their territory.
"Lily – what – what are you talking about?" Snape asked, unable to grasp that she was talking about Sectumsempra.
"I HATE YOU! I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!" Lily screamed, her throat tearing from the volume of her voice. "TAKE YOUR STUPID BOOK AND NEVER SPEAK TO ME AGAIN!" She threw the book at him, letting it slap him in the chest with a thud and turned on her heel, tears still splashing out of her eyes, and ran out of the common room.
She found refuge in a broom closet, two corridors down from the Hospital Wing. She found comfort in the confinement of the room and felt her body shake as the last of the tears made their way out. She tried to calm herself down but all she knew was pain and heartbreak. All she knew…
Was love.
XxXxXxX
Around 5 o'clock the next morning Lily opened her eyes to find that she had fallen asleep in the broom closet with her head resting on a blue plastic bucket. Her neck hurt like the devil from being in such an odd position the entire night, but she awoke all the same.
Twenty minutes later Lily found herself sitting next to James's hospital bed, her soft pale hand touching palms with his cold and still one. She couldn't take her eyes off of his body and she couldn't keep her mind off of the pain she must have caused him. She didn't know how she'd managed to read something so cruel and think it was a simple "for enemies" curse. Obviously it was intended to hurt someone. But Lily had been too stupid to know that. At least that's what she told herself.
Her cheeks were stained with tear-streaks but she hadn't bothered to try to clean up. All she cared about at the moment was James and she wouldn't rest well until she knew he was well.
She rubbed her thumb over the back of his hand and sighed. She had finally realized that Remus had been right. She had tried to fall in love with someone else and the plan didn't work. It back-fired on her. And if James didn't live … if he didn't live she'd have lost the only true person she'd ever loved.
And she didn't want that.
She wanted to fall into James's arms at night and kiss him and hug him and hold him and live her life with him. She didn't want to let a black balloon go as she gazed at his dead body and kissed him goodbye as he walked off into the next life.
"Lily?" she heard him mumble.
"James?" Lily asked, hope warming her blood with happiness. "James, are you okay?"
"I'm fine, Lily," he said. His eyes were slowly opening but there was no mistaking a giant grin plastered to his face.
"Oh, James! I'm so, so, so sorry! I didn't mean to hurt you and I didn't know it'd happen!" she exclaimed, dropping her torso down onto his to hug him.
"Its okay, Lily," James said, his voice muffled by her hair. He couldn't help but notice that it smelled sweet … like her.
"James," Lily said to his neck. "James, I love you so much. I don't ever want to lose you."
James smiled at her words.
"I love you too, Lily, and I've been waiting forever to hear you say that," James whispered, rubbing her back with his hand.
Lily smiled into his neck, breathing in his scent. He felt so right… so at home to her.
Without thinking she turned her head and put all her love and fear and care and passion and every other emotion that'd ever touched her heart into kissing James. With every passing second she let the kiss grow ten times more intense and felt time slip away from her. She didn't want to pull away; she never wanted to pull away.
She wanted to stay there, in James's arms, kissing him, forever.
The End
Author's Ramblings: Kind of a fluffy end, I know, but c'mon! I liked the way it ended!
Anyway… I swear my heart was racing as I wrote these "dramatic" parts to this "story." I was literally hanging off the edge of my seat, typing like mad, my heart pounding. Boy did I get wrapped up in it. LOL.
Yeah… this is life. I'm so TEMPTED to write a story where no one gets anyone… kind of like how my life is going at the moment. Like, the Romeo and Juliet of Harry Potter. Sound good? Yeah… didn't think so. Oh well….
I had the hardest time coming up with a title for this thing. My desk is LITERALLY piled up with post-its with a zillion titles. I just couldn't find the right one. There were two "definite" options that I liked. One was: Love The Evil One, the other one was Pick The Fallen Petal. And, well, you know which one got chosen. LOL.
I came up with "Pick the Fallen Petal" because as you know, many people take a flower and say, "I love him," and "I love him not" as they pluck the petals off. So… if you can see where I'm going. James was the fallen petal. James was the petal that fell to the floor when she came to find that Snape was the one she was going to love. See? So in "Pick the Fallen Petal" – she's finally realizing that she loves James, so she picks the fallen petal.
A lot of repetition there, but whatever.
Actually, I was so in love with this title, I was inspired to write a poem about it. So I'm going to work on that shortly. Actually, for my English class we're doing a poetry project, so I'll end up using it. And just to defend myself, this is TOTALLY my idea. Don't go stealing it, okay? Good. Love ya.
LOL. But anyways… I don't think there's anything else. I just think you and I are both really bored cause I'm rambling like mad and you're still reading. So I'll just let you go.
I do honestly hope that you enjoyed this. I love my one-shots a LOT more than I love my stories… and this one I REALLY like.
Please review!