Shigeko wanted to be treated like an adult.
Tsuchiya could do that…or at least she could try. She had tried reasoning with Shigeko, pleading with her, and going above her to her father. She had been acting too rashly. She should have thought more on it, meditated on it. If she had taken the time to really think, to not let everything cloud her judgement, she could have actually come up with a real plan.
Or at least an idea.
An idea that may have worked. Shigeko outranked Tsuchiya in terms of raw power and power in Claw. Maybe it was about time that Tsuchiya treated her as such. Like the Vice President and a more powerful esper…she never lorded it over people but…well she did expect to be treated like an adult. She responded poorly to being treated like a child.
She was a lot like Mukai.
Mukai hated being treated like a three year old. She had always been insistent, since she had figured out how to talk, that she was a big girl now. She could do everything for herself now. She was all grown up. That meant letting her put on her own socks, try to put on her own shoes, puzzle out how to brush her own hair, and all the other things she was insistent that she could do herself. That was just how it worked with kids. Tsuchiya had been the same way when she'd been young. She had been so desperate for everyone to stop treating her like a child…but of course nobody had listened to her…
All she had wanted was for someone to listen.
She was not going to make the same mistakes her parents had. She wasn't Shigeko's mother, and she wasn't trying to be. She was just…Shigeko's friend. Shigeko's friend…friendships were between equals. Equals showed each other respect. All Shigeko wanted was a little respect, and Tsuchiya was prepared to show it.
She was prepared to do anything, at this point, to end the fighting.
"Shigeko, can we please talk?" asked Tsuchiya as she knocked on Shigeko's office door. The door had been opened but the knocking was polite. Respectful. She had a meeting but she couldn't just go barging in…even though she felt like she should have….
Who was that guy?
Not an Awakened. Not a Scar. The President always made sure that the scar was visible. That was…upper echelon, of course, or maybe just an affiliate. Dressed in all silver…she couldn't think of any group that wore all silver. Shigeko…she must have had a meeting with this guy or something. Otherwise Tsuchiya had something entirely new to worry about…no, not new. It had happened once before.
She glared at the silver guy as she walked past. He just ashed his cigarette on the ground and shrugged.
"Um….ok, but I have a meeting soon." Said Mob as she put her phone down. She didn't know why Tsuchiya was here…but hopefully this would be quick…and not about Mukai.
"I know, I set the meeting. I used my ID number so you wouldn't cancel it." Said Tsuchiya as she sat down in the chair across from Shigeko. She didn't pull the chair up beside her desk like Serizawa had…he gave her a small wave. She returned it. She wasn't as good of a friend to Shigeko as Serizawa was. She wasn't going to overstep and drag her chair over next to Shigeko…and she wasn't going to tell her to put that cigarette out or kick out the grown man who should not have had any business being there with her, either.
She was going to try and treat Shigeko the way that she wanted to be treated.
"OK, but you didn't have to make a meeting. We live right next door to each other and…and stuff." Said Mob. She checked the time on her phone. They were only a minute into this meeting. There were twenty nine more minutes to go.
"I wanted to make sure that I had your full attention." Said Tsuchiya
"You have it right now so…um…we can talk about whatever you want to talk about." Said Mob. She checked her phone again. The minute hadn't changed.
"Can we talk alone?" asked Tsuchiya, motioning towards Serizawa and that other guy. Serizawa quickly closed his Gameboy and put the pen-thing in the pen slot. The other guy just kept on sitting on the couch smoking his cigarette. Tsuchiya wanted to snatch it out of his hand and put it out. It smelled like a cigarette factory in here…and he should not have been encouraging Shigeko to smoke, either. She may have outranked him but what kind of a man just sat there and smoked with a thirteen year old girl?
Well adjusted man. Not Serizawa. He had his own troubles he was struggling with.
"I can't kick Serizawa out, he gets scared when he's all alone and I can't kick Joseph out either because he doesn't have any other friends and he'll be lonely if I leave him all alone." Said Mob. Joseph….oh! Minegishi had been complaining about him. Tsuchiya…she had been picturing someone younger. She had been hoping for someone younger…like younger than Hatori…even that would have been too old…
One thing at a time. She could settle this with Shigeko and then she could deal with Joseph. She was not letting this happen to Shigeko again.
"How about Joseph watches Serizawa, how's the sound?" asked Tsuchiya. She made steady eye contact with Joseph. He looked surprised. What? Were people normally alright with him hanging around thirteen year old girls all day?
"Is that ok?" asked Mob. Tsuchiya's aura was being weird there…but she had Serizawa to worry about. She patted him on the hand. He patted her hand back. He seemed calm, calmer than normal. They'd had a pretty good day so far…she hoped that leaving wasn't going to be too much for him. She didn't want him to get upset…she was upset enough for the both of them…
"It-it's ok." Said Serizawa as he patted Miss Suzuki's hand. She was upset. He couldn't get upset if she was upset. Things had been so hard for her…he wasn't going to make it worse. He didn't know Joseph that well, and he got the feeling that he didn't like him all that much, but if it made it easier for Miss Suzuki if he left then that was what he was going to do.
"Fine by me." said Joseph, standing up. Bad first impression. Not good. He was going to have to expand the scope of his operation. It wasn't enough for Vice President Suzuki to like him, the rest of the inner circle had to like him too, and he already got the feeling that Serizawa didn't really care for him all that much…
With this, the failed abduction, and the disaster that was the Zurich bombing he knew he was on thin ice.
"Ok…but be careful. Serizawa is very fragile." Said Mob as Serizawa got up. She handed him his umbrella.
"I'm not that fragile." Said Serizawa. He was…he was and he wasn't…or maybe he just didn't want to be.
"I'll treat him like he has glass bones and paper skin." Said Joseph as he turned to leave. Serizawa didn't seem to be a good sport about the whole 'fragile' thing, no man would have been. He'd pick at this later. Serizawa was pretty much her shadow. He probably knew things…things that even she wouldn't tell him.
"My-my bones are normal! I'm…" said Serizawa. No. He wasn't normal…but he wasn't fragile….he kind of was…but he shouldn't have been. He had been friends with Miss Suzuki, been a part of this, for two years now. He should have been better than this…he had to be better than this. For her sake.
"I think that he was kidding! But it's hard to tell with people sometimes…I'm mostly sure that he was kidding." Said Mob. They closed the door behind them. They hadn't heard her. She wished that they had left the door opened…so that they could have heard her. That was it. Not because she felt trapped behind her desk with Tsuchiya in front of her and ready to start their fight again…
She didn't feel trapped.
She didn't feel like…like she had to stop being friends with Tsuchiya. She knew what she had said, before. She had made some threats and…and she shouldn't have been threatening people like that. She shouldn't have been mean to her friend…but Tsuchiya had been mean first…but Mob didn't want to fight anymore.
She had never wanted to fight in the first place.
"Shigeko-" asked Tsuchiya
"You think he was kidding too, right?" asked Mob quickly. They had…twenty seven minutes now…they could talk about anything but Mukai for the next twenty seven minutes…right?
"I'm pretty sure it was, but that's not what I came here to talk to you about." Said Tsuchiya
"Ok…what do you want to talk about?" asked Mob. She hoped that Tsuchiya had gone through the trouble of making an appointment just to talk about, well, pretty much anything other than taking Mukai and leaving. Mob was clueless, not dumb, but she could also be hopeful. Like now. She was hopeful that Tsuchiya made an appointment to talk about…about the weather…or the Universal trip…or yoga? Anything but what they had been fighting about before.
"I want to talk about-" said Tsuchiya
"I'm sorry that I didn't invite you to go on the Universal trip with everyone. I just didn't want you to run away, that's all." Said Mob. Maybe that was it. Maybe she was just mad about being left out…that would have made sense…and maybe she could go on the next trip, the Disneyland trip, if she proved that she could be trusted not to run away.
"I forgive you. Now can we please talk about-" said Tsuchiya
"It's been really hot out for October…but then again Tokyo is always hot…but not when it's cold. Sometimes it gets really cold but not as cold as…um…where I'm from. I'm from Sendai and it gets so cold there that if you're in a room without heat then you can see your breathe. It's just weird when that happens and you're indoors." Said Mob. She was just going to use up the twenty seven minutes she had left, that was all. That was…she could do that.
"I know what you mean. There were parts of the temple that my parents wouldn't let me heat. We didn't have central heating, or even space heaters, it was all these little wood ovens. My job was to split the wood for the ovens and my parents, even though I was the one who split all the wood, wouldn't let me heat the meditation rooms. The ones I spent the most time in….I had a lot to work out when I was a kid. Those rooms were absolutely freezing and my parents said that the cold was good for me, that it would help me focus my qi better." said Tsuchiya
"Did it?" asked Mob
"No, not at all. It just got me mad. I got so mad that I refused to meditate. I just completely refused." Said Tsuchiya
"Oh…well that makes sense. If you didn't want to meditate in a cold room then you shouldn't have had to." Said Mob
"I thought that it was unfair too, at the time, but I can see now that they just wanted the best for me. Slipping meditation…was not a good move on my part. I do need to meditate or my control…well I don't always know my own strength. Back then it was even worse." Said Tsuchiya
"But your parents were mean to you." said Mob
"Yes, they were wrong…but I was wrong too. Sometimes it's possible for people on both sides of the argument to be wrong." Said Tsuchiya
"Oh, like ketchup and ranch." Said Mob
"Like what?" asked Tsuchiya
"Dad likes ketchup bread, Sho likes ranch bread, but I think that both are gross. I don't think that you're supposed to fill a glass with any kind of dipper sauce and then dip bread into it. Dad and Sho used to fight about which was grosser. It was always a tie. They were equally gross…but not to be mean or anything. It's just something gross that my Dad and brother do." Said Mob
"I know you're not trying to be mean, Shigeko, I know you." said Tsuchiya
"I know that you're not mean either. Ok, that was a really good talk but I have stuff to do now. I have to…um…Dad's kind of mad at me about how much money I spent so I have to fix that and then I have to check on Sho and see if he's ok, it makes me nervous when he's alone, and also I have to…um…do other things." Said Mob. She got up from her desk so she could walk Tsuchiya out. That was always important, being polite like that during meetings. People liked to be walked out, it showed them you cared, and Mob did care a lot about Tsuchiya. She cared about all of her friends…even when those friends tried to take her little sister away.
"Shigeko. Wait." Said Tsuchiya as Shigeko stood up. She was trying to get her out. Politely of course, because Shigeko was always so polite. Respectful. That was what she was after with all of this. Respect. She didn't just want to live like an adult, free to do whatever she wanted, she wanted the respect that came with being an adult. She wanted to be on equal footing with the adults around her…Tsuchiya could do that. She could try to do that, anyway. She didn't know how well she would do. Part of her wanted to sit here and play along with whatever Shigeko asked of her but the other part of her, the one that sounded like her parents, reminded her that she was the adult here and Shigeko was the child.
"Ok…but I'm very busy today." Said Mob. She wasn't lying, not really. She could find things to be busy with.
"I wanted to talk to you about Mukai-" said Tsuchiya
"I don't want to talk about this right now." said Mob. She could feel her hair trying to float away. She had to calm down. She couldn't lose control. She had already broken two divisions. She couldn't break an HQ too.
"I just want to say that maybe I was a little rash in trying to take her away from you so suddenly like that." Said Tsuchiya
"Oh…um…ok." Said Mob. That was…not what she had been expecting. She wasn't going to argue, though. It was good that Tsuchiya had thought on it and come to her senses. Now things could go back to the way that they had been before…mostly the way that they had been before. Without Shimazaki and Hatori around…and also after what she had done with Shimazaki…she didn't know how anything could ever be normal again.
"I should have talked it over with you and your brother first instead of going right to your father. That was wrong of me too." Said Tsuchiya
"Ok." Said Mob. This was…confusing. So Tsuchiya was sorry now…but she didn't have to have a whole meeting to apologize. She could have just told Mob that she was right about everything and then they could have gone back to being friends like they had been before all of this happened.
"You want me to talk to you like an adult, right? So that's what we're going to do. We're going to talk like adults." Said Tsuchiya
"Ok. Do you want something to drink?" asked Mob. She pulled one of the fancy liquor bottles over with her powers and two cups. You were always supposed to drink during meetings, or at least offer the person you were meeting with a drink. That was just being polite.
"No thank you." said Tsuchiya. That was all that she was going to say about that. Shigeko was thirteen, she should not have been drinking, but also she was thirteen and her mind was made up about the drinking and sometimes….sometimes you had to pick your battles in order to win the war.
"Are you sure? It's really old, that means that it's good. I think that it's called cognac." Said Mob as she held up the fancy bottle. Tsuchiya held up her hand and shook her head.
"I'm alright. I don't really drink that often, it messes with my qi." Said Tsuchiya
"It makes you lose control?" asked Mob. Some people had that problem when they drank, like Sho and Dad did. That always seemed kind of sad. They were missing out on so much.
"No, it makes me qi lazy, if that's the word for it. It doesn't act on it's own. It just stops acting all together." Said Tsuchiya
"Mine does the same thing. Isn't it great?" asked Mob
"It's…something. Something good, I suppose, if you're as powerful as you are." Said Tsuchiya
"Dad says that I'm second only to him." Said Mob
"In Claw or just in raw power?" asked Tsuchiya
"Both…and it makes me kind of sad since Sho should be stronger than me, because he really wants to be even if he doesn't say so anymore." Said Mob
"Sho has his talents and you have yours, you shouldn't compare yourselves to one another, and anyway there's more to you than your powers." Said Tsuchiya
"Like how I'm good at braiding hair?" asked Mob
"No, well yes, but no. I meant how you're…you're a very caring girl, Shigeko, you care about your friends and your siblings. You always put other people first, and that's something, especially in this place." Said Tsuchiya
"A lot of people can be kind of mean in Tokyo HQ. Mostly upper echelon people. I don't know why." Said Mob
"People who join Claw voluntarily aren't always the best bunch." Said Tsuchiya
"Minegishi said that too, once. They said that people only joined Claw when they didn't have any other options…but I don't get it. We're making the world a better place. Why wouldn't someone want to be part of that?" asked Mob
"Because…because there's a lot of dirty work in Claw, especially in the upper echelons, and doing that kind of work changes you. Just being here can change you…and not for the better." said Tsuchiya
"Oh…so how do I change people for the better?" asked Mob. If people had started out nice and then turned mean then…then there must have bene some way to change them back. People changed all the time. Like Sho. He had started off mean when they had been little and now he was nice, so nice that he hadn't even tried to hit her for a while. Mukai had started off as a baby and now she was a kid. Dad had started off mean and weird…actually he was still mean and weird. Minegishi had started off mean and now they were her best friend…well they had been her best friend, now they were mean. Well Minori had started off mean and…and now they weren't friends anymore….but Minori had changed. She had gone from mean to weird…all she posted were pictures of dead animals and about how life was meaningless and everyone was myopic…whatever that meant…it meant that people could change!
If they could change for the worst then they could change for the better, too…at least she thought that was how it worked.
"You can't change people, Shigeko, they have to want to change…and you can't make someone want to change. It all has to come from within." Said Tsuchiya
"Then how do I make it come from within?" asked Mob
"I really have no idea. If I knew how to change people from within then…well things would be pretty different around here." Said Tsuchiya. She would have made some actual progress with the kids. It was like pushing a boulder up a hill. As soon as she got to the top it just rolled back down again. How was she supposed to keep the boulder at the top of the hill whenever everyone else just kept on pushing it down again?
"They would be. I'd make everyone be friends with everyone else and also I'd try and stop people from fighting. Sometimes it feels like Claw is nothing but one fight after another after another…I'm tired of it." Said Mob
"I don't like fighting either, not when I can avoid it, and I don't want to fight with you anymore. That's why I asked to meet with you today." Said Tsuchiya
"We aren't fighting anymore. You said that you were sorry for trying to take Mukai away and I accepted your apology. Now everything can be ok again." Said Mob
"Shigeko…I'm not sorry for wanting to Mukai away from here." Said Tsuchiya
"But you just said-" said Mob
"But I am sorry about the way I handled it. I should have talked it over with your and your brother and then…and then we could have worked something out." Said Tsuchiya
"There's nothing to work out. Mukai is our sister and she can't leave. I was too little to stop Fukuda from taking her away before but I'm not little anymore." Said Mob
"I never said that you were little. You're not a little kid anymore, you've made that clear. I think that you're old enough to…to think this through. I'm not saying that I want to take her away forever-" said Tsuchiya
"It sounds like that's what you want." Said Mob. She knew that she could be clueless about things sometimes but…but she knew what she was hearing right now. Tsuchiya wanted to take Mukai away from her like…like that was just a thing…a thing that was going to happen…but it wasn't. She wasn't going to let it.
"What I'm saying is that I want to…to just bring her back to the Seventh Division. You can visit whenever you want to and so can Sho." Said Tsuchiya
"I'm stuck here and I don't want Sho to go to Seasoning City for…reasons." Said Mob
"Ok, how about I bring Mukai up for a visit once a month. How about that?" asked Tsuchiya
"That's not enough time. She's going to forget all about us. It happens, you know. if you're away from someone for long then you forget things about them like what their voice sounded like or what their face looked like or….or other things like that. I'm not going to let Mukai forget me. I don't know what you think…why you think…why do you want to break my family up?!" asked Mob
"I'm not trying to break your family up, I just want Mukai to…to have a good life. Shigeko, it's not safe for her here. It's not good for her here." Said Tsuchiya
"It's safe, nobody mailed us any bombs in a while." Said Mob
"Nobody should be mailing…ok. Ok. Nobody's sent you any bombs in a while but they can send them again and…and what happens if someone finds out where you live or…it's not safe for her here and…and I want her to grow up happy. I think that we both want her to grow up happy." Said Tsuchiya
"I'm good at making her happy." Said Mob
"I know you are." Said Tsuchiya
"I'm a good big sister." Said Mob
"I know you are." Said Tsuchiya
"And-and I'm a good mom, too." Said Mob. She felt like a mom, like her Mom, sometimes. She was the one who took care of Sho after all. She was good at what she did and…and maybe Mukai didn't need a mom. Mob hadn't had a mom for years and she was doing just fine.
"You…you aren't." said Tsuchiya. She tried to see through the desk, to see if Shigeko had…well she was only thirteen but…but she had…in for four, out for four.
"What do you mean? I do all the things-" said Mob. Dad had promoted her to Mom's rank in the family a long time ago. She wasn't actually their mom, Mukai and Sho's, but sometimes that was what it felt like. More for Sho than for Mukai but still.
"You're not her mother, I am. You're her sister and you never should have been put in that role in the first place. It was wrong of your father to put so much responsibility on you…and I don't care if that's traitor talk. Let me take some of the responsibility off of your shoulders. You have…you have a lot going on for someone your age." Said Tsuchiya. Shigeko shook her head…she was actually going to argue? She was sitting behind what had to have been the biggest desk in Japan, on the top floor of a skyscraper, with probably a line of people outside of her door trying to get her ear….and she thought that she didn't have too much responsibility.
"I can handle it and…and I didn't mean that I was actually her mom. I meant that it's like I'm her mom. With Mom gone then it's like I'm the Mom and…and Dad gave her to me, anyway, as a birthday present when I was ten so technically Fukuda gave you a stolen baby." Said Mob. That sounded mean now that she thought of it. She shouldn't have been mean…but Tsuchiya shouldn't have been trying to take Mukai away from her!
"Wait…what happened?" asked Tsuchiya. She had never gotten the full story on what had happened, only bits and pieces of it. That sounded like an exaggeration. She had heard, before, that the President had given her Mukai but only to babysit…right?
"I told you already. Mukai's mom, the one who made her, gave her to Dad and then Dad gave her to me and he ran away and Fukuda ran away and I was in charge for a while…but then Fukuda came back and took her away…and when he took her away it felt like he ripped out a part of me…it hurt that bad…and it hurt Sho even worse. He's very sensitive like that. He used to yell and scream and break things all day and all night and…and I don't want him to feel like that again. I don't want things to be like that again. I just…I don't want to ever feel like that again." Said Mob
"Shigeko…I don't want to make you feel like that either. I acted too rashly before. I was just…just scared. When I heard about what happened to you-" said Tsuchiya
"What happened to me?" asked Mob. Nothing had happened to her…well nothing in a while. Dad had been mean to her but Dad had been getting meaner and meaner for a while. Ever since he'd met that Shiori lady…that witch.
"You know…with Shimazaki." Said Tsuchiya. Shigeko gasped and turned bright red. The bottle on the table tipped over and then rose up towards the ceiling. She reached up and caught it in her hand…and then took a drink right from the bottle.
"I don't want to talk about that." Said Mob as she swallowed. Why did EVERYONE have to talk about this? This wasn't their business! She didn't ask Tsuchiya about her relationship with Shibata or-or-or…she wished that more of her friends had been in relationships so she could have kept her mouth shut about them. Why did everyone need to talk about who she…who she did stuff with? Stuff that she wasn't even doing anymore! She had just been his girlfriend for a little bit…or maybe they had just been hooking up since she hadn't been in love with him…but it was over now. She had just stopped talking to him and now…now that meant that it was over, right?
She didn't have anyone to ask.
She couldn't ask any of her friends, what would they have said? They would have told her how sorry they were. She didn't get it. They would have talked about how mad they were at Shimazaki. She didn't get that either. They would have talked about what they would have done if they'd known. She especially didn't get that. Sometimes people did that with one another and…and it was private and…and she knew that she shouldn't have done that with her best friend's boyfriend! She didn't need to be reminded of that. She didn't need to be reminded of how she had messed everything up….
She couldn't wait for something new to happen. Then her friends might have been able to find something else to talk about.
"I know it must be hard for you-" said Tsuchiya. Actually she had no idea how hard it was. To have had someone betray you like that, tell you that they loved you, or even…well he had said that he loved her…
Tsuchiya suddenly needed a bath.
"People talking about it kind of makes it harder. I don't want people to talk about it and…and I don't talk about what you guys do so…so don't talk about what I do." Said Mob before she took another drink. She offered the bottle to Tsuchiya but she just did that thing where she held up her hand and shook her head. She looked like she needed it more than Mob did, her aura was practically crawling.
"I'm sorry. I just…it must be hard for you and…and I don't want the same thing to happen to Mukai." Said Tsuchiya. There. Now that they were at the root of the problem they could talk about it…or Shigeko could stare at her. What? Had she gone too far…she might have, actually….
"But…Mukai doesn't have a best friend." Said Mob
"What?" asked Tsuchiya. She wondered, sometimes, what happened in Shigeko's head. Sometimes she spoke in non sequiturs like this…it was…it was a lot to decipher.
"She doesn't have a best friend so how can she steal her best friend's boyfriend if she doesn't have a best friend?" asked Mob
"Wait…is that how you see this? You can't possibly…what?" asked Tsuchiya
"I stole my…or maybe we were sharing…but it's only sharing if the other person knows that they're sharing with you, otherwise it's stealing…so I guess I was stealing. I know that what I did was wrong, and I know that I shouldn't have…I really don't want to talk about this and…and it's kind of not your business. It's my business…and also Shimazaki's…and Minegishi's, too, since he's their boyfriend and they loved him and now they're mad at me." said Mob
"What…?" asked Tsuchiya. How had…how had they gotten here? What…is that how Shigeko honestly saw all of this?
"They keep on saying that they aren't mad at me but I know that they are. That's why they've been avoiding me." said Mob
"Minegishi…they aren't mad at you and they aren't avoiding you. They love you. They just said something about cramps-" said Tsuchiya
"Tsuchiya! No! There are BOYS in this building!" shouted Mob. What had she been thinking? What if a boy had heard? And…and why did she have to be so nosy, anyway? Why did she always have to talk about other people's personal…private…she had better not have been planning on asking Mob about her period because that-that-that-that was not right at all!
"Ok, ok, ok. There are boys in the building, you're right about that. I'm sorry for brining that up." Said Tsuchiya. So…so Shigeko could run an entire HQ, consider what she had with Shimazaki to have been an actual relationship, sit there and drink aged cognac….but also she couldn't even mention anything related to periods? Tsuchiya was having a lot of trouble talking to her like an adult right now.
"Good…please don't bring that up again. I don't want to talk about that either…and I'm sorry if this is mean but you've been kind of nosy lately. Kind of like Hatori, he likes to go through people's stuff, but you aren't going through search histories…right?" asked Mob
"I don't even know how to do that." Said Tsuchiya
"Don't look it up." Said Mob, picking up her phone and holding it close to her chest.
"I won't, don't worry. Your search history is going to stay private and…and I think that we may have gotten just a little bit off topic. I came here to talk to you about something important, like an adult, the adult I know that you want to be treated like-" said Tsuchiya
"I am an adult. Dad said so." Said Mob. She did all the things that adults did, Dad had said, and that meant that she was an adult now. It wasn't always easy to be an adult, sometimes it was a lot actually, but she could do it. She had been doing it. She'd been an adult, it felt like, almost since Mom had left. Since she had just…just left…and left Mob in charge. Dad hadn't known how to take care of them so…so it had been her…it had always been her even when Mom was still alive.
"Ok…sure. We can go with that. I need you to think like an adult, ok? Think about…about your life. How it's been, the good and the bad, and then I want you to think really hard on if you want Mukai to live that same kind of life." Said Tsuchiya. That was all that she could say. She had nothing left, nothing at all left. She watched Shigeko. She just looked down at her desk. Tsuchiya followed the path her eyes took.
It was just a desk.
An oak desk. Lots of rings around it. Stickers stuck to it…cats and Disney characters. Lots of junk on it, too. Little trinkets….tiny cats…an ashtray that looked like a cat's head…lots of makeup too. All kinds of tubes and powders that Tsuchiya didn't even know the names of…this was Shigeko's desk.
It was too big for her.
"I…I don't know…I really don't know." said Mob, looking up from her desk. She had to clean it…she had a lot of things that he had to do. If she didn't do it, if she didn't do a lot of things, then they wouldn't get done. It was a lot to remember, sometimes, and sometimes she even forgot things that she had to do…and then she wound up playing catchup. She missed out, too, on a lot of things…fun things…but she was happy. Sho was happy so she was happy…
Mostly.
She was happy that she could give her brother and sister the life that she wished she'd had. Neither of them would ever have to worry about anything, ever. She would make sure of it. She was going to make sure that her brother and sister never had to worry about when she was coming home, if she was coming home, and what she would be like when she came home. She was never going to hit them, or slap them, or kick them, or pull their hair. She was never going to use her powers against them. She was never going to tell them that she hated the people that they were becoming, because she didn't at all, and even if she had then she would have kept it to herself.
Because she was a good big sister.
She was giving them the life that she had always wanted…but that wasn't what Tsuchiya had asked. She had asked if she wanted Mukai to live the life she had lived…of course she didn't. She didn't want Tsuchiya to leave like her mom had left. She didn't want Dad to be as mean to Mukai as he had been to her and Sho. She didn't want Mukai to feel kind of sad all the time…sad and tired. She didn't want Mukai to have to look on her phone to see what country she was in…travelling stopped being fun after a while…she didn't want Mukai to not have a home, to just have a bunch of places where she slept and kept her toys. She didn't want Mukai to have to worry all the time if things were ok…and she didn't want Mukai to have powers she could barely control…and she didn't want Mukai to have to worry each and every day about maybe hurting someone and…and she didn't want Mukai to have a best friend who was mad at her, either, because it wasn't just powers that you lost control of. Sometimes you did stuff that seemed like it was an ok idea because…because it felt good and also coke….but actually it wasn't ok at all…
But Mukai was never going to live the life Mob had lived.
Mob was going to do better than her Mom and Dad had done. She was going to teach Mukai how to control her powers if they got to be too big for her to control…and she was going to make sure that Mukai knew about moderation, too. Moderation like not doing too much for fun because you made mistakes, not moderation like stopping all together like Minegishi had tried to get her to do. She was going to make sure that Mukai only had boyfriends who she liked back, and ones who didn't already have partners, and also she was going to tell Mukai about other love stuff. Stuff that Mom hadn't told her about…Mom had told her nothing. Mom had told her nothing about how sometimes you thought you were in love with someone and it turned out that he wasn't the person you thought he was….or about how sometimes you thought you were in love with someone but they didn't love you back…or how someone could love you and want to be with you and you could like them as a friend and want to…actually she was kind of glad that her mom hadn't talked to her about sex stuff. That would have been weird…but there was other stuff that Mom could have warned her about!
Stuff that she was going to be sure to warn Mukai about.
"I mean…I mean I know that Mukai isn't going to live the life that I've lived. I'm not Dad, I'm not Mom, I'm me and I can do better than she did…than she and Dad did put together. For Mukai and Sho and also for Shoko and Shigeo…and also Elsa and Anna are nice names…um…what was I…ok, now I remember. I'm going to give Mukai a better life than I had and you don't have to worry about anything like that, ok? So please stop worrying and stop trying to take Mukai from me." said Mob. She was going to do better. She knew she was. Tsuchiya just had to believe in her. That was all. She just…she loved Mukai and she wasn't going to let Tsuchiya take her away and…and stuff…
She took another drink.
"Shigeko…that's not what I meant. If Mukai stays here then-" said Tsuchiya as Shigeko took another drink. She might not have even been thinking at this point. That was a lot…what was her tolerance even like? Tsuchiya shouldn't have had to even think about that…it was like looking into the future. Mukai's future…
Not a good one.
"We don't have any more time left. I have other stuff to do so…um…I'll see you at home and it was nice to talk to you again so…um…happy Universal Studios Day…wait, no, that's not right…" said Mob before she took another drink. She needed it. She could see her aura…and now she couldn't. She was fine.
Everything was fine.
"Alright Shigeko…I'll go…but I want you to think about this. I mean really think about this. I know that you can give Mukai a good life but I'm her mother, that's my job, and if we moved it wouldn't be forever. We would still come and visit you and you'd be free to come and visit whenever you had free time. It wouldn't be forever." Said Tsuchiya. Shigeko nodded.
"I know what you said before, and I know that you're doing a good job, and I'm doing a good job to so…so…ok. It's all…it's ok." Said Mob. She looked down at her phone. They were overtime now. She had other meetings and…and other things to do…and Serizawa had been without her for a while. She could maybe see his aura…he needed her.
There was always someone who needed her.
"It's…it's ok. You're right." Said Tsuchiya as she got up. Well that had been about as productive as spring cleaning back at the house…..but she could try again. Shigeko was thinking. It looked like she was thinking…hopefully, through all of that, she was going to do some soul searching. Hopefully she would come to the right conclusion.
If not then Tsuchiya could always try again…she'd have to try again.
If at first you didn't succeed then you could just try and try again. That was all that she could do. She just….needed a new plan…whatever that would be. She had tried talking to her like an adult and she had tried talking to her like a child…maybe a teenager? But there was no way to talk to teenagers…there had been no talking to her, anyway, when she had been a teenager. That was the time in her life when she had cemented her plan to leave…and here she was now.
Teenagers were kind of…teenagers.
But Tsuchiya had to be the adult here. She…she wasn't allowed to be the adult here...she was technically ranked lower than Shigeko…this was a mess. This was the biggest mess that she had ever been in….but she had to do better. She had to work through this…in for four and out for four…or maybe eight this time…or sixteen. Thirty six? She didn't know…maybe until she passed out…no, no. She had to keep on working at this…she had to try again….
She had to be the adult here. The actual adult.