When it came to the tools of the trade knives would always be superior to guns.

Guns were loud, for one thing. Sure you could take someone out instantly but you'd also end up deafening yourself in the process. Plus the cops generally came and investigated gunshots. It was the kind of thing they took seriously. Also you'd have to get rid of the gun and hope nobody found it, and then when you lied and said you did then your bosses always got on you about that. Guns just weren't worth it. Now knives on the other hand were perfect. They were quick, portable, and above all else they were silent. Just stab, hold, and go. Yes. Knives were the best when it came to tools of the trade.

Of course Shimazaki usually did his best work with his own two hands.

"Shh…it's ok…actually it's not…but it is for me." said Shimazaki as he jabbed a knife into some poor asshole's neck. It served him right, really. Shimazaki had no idea what this guy's deal was. He didn't know if this guy was government or yakuza or just a friendly neighborhood pervert. Either way the outcome was the same.

Really, it was his own fault.

The guy was stull twitching. Shimazaki could feel his hand getting sticky. He smelled copper. Knives always took too long, way too long. A bullet to the head worked a lot faster. Of course a bullet to the head was a lot louder, too. Someone would definitely call the cops. It wasn't anywhere near firework season, and also it was some time in the a.m. too. Teleporting away was always an option…but he still had no idea how many of these guys there were.

He wasn't entirely used to normal people.

He had spent too long around other espers. Their auras were louder. It was like trying to adjust after being at a concert for a while. Like being right up to the speakers, right in the front row…well not that close, at that point he was packing his ears with cotton. More like in the middle of it. That was better, anyway. Not too loud and not too soft…he wondered if there were any concerts going on tonight…

Right. This guy.

"Yup, there you go…off to wherever it is that people go. Hope you learned your lesson about fucking with Suzuki's girlfriend." Said Shimazaki. He didn't have to be a medium to feel it, the guy's soul crawling out of his body. For some reason they always went out the bellybutton. He could hear it…and feel it. No heartbeat…he was stabbing a corpse at this point.

Another for body disposal.

He pulled the knife free. This was actually a pretty knife one. Serrated, good grip, went in like butter…what else could he have asked for in a knife? He didn't really need it…but it was nice to have. He wiped it off on the grass and closed it. He'd add it to his collection. The best always took trophies. That was what Dad had said…bastard that he was. He'd had that whole room full of wallets, watches, guns, even shoes. Shimazaki wasn't crazy enough to take shoes.

These weren't even his size.

He put the knife in his pocket and teleported away with the body. Not a moment too soon. He could hear it now, an aura. It cut through the stillness of the night. That woman was awake now. He could hear her aura…she was walking around. He debated staying. He had strict orders not to be seen…he had all kinds of strict orders. Those were the most boring kind. He could have stayed out there, let her find him in her garden, and then casually mention that he'd just saved her life. She'd get to talking to him and then…well Suzuki was a bastard and he deserved it…

But Toshi mattered.

Getting back to Toshi mattered. Mob too but she was pretty much done with him. She hadn't so much as said 'hi' to him in weeks. She hadn't even said anything to him on his birthday…not that he'd sat up in bed all day chewing candles and waiting for Mob to call. He'd also stolen a chocolate cake and listened to about half his record collection. Mob…she obviously didn't want anything more to do with him. He didn't know why, it wasn't like she was going to tell him, but the why of it didn't matter. If he focused on the why of it then he was going to drive himself crazy with boredom. Mob didn't want anything to do with him but Toshi did.

So he was going to get back to Toshi.

He didn't stay, make himself known, and then cuckold Suzuki…even if it would have server him right. Bastard that he was…Toshi orbited Mob and Suzuki wasn't going to let Shimazaki near Toshi until he found something else to piss him off. Sho was apparently picking random guys up at theme parks so maybe that would be the next thing that Suzuki freaked out over….poor Sho. Actually, no, he took back what he'd thought. Sho didn't deserve that. Suzuki finding out.

Nobody deserved that.

He didn't stick around. Getting back into Suzuki's good graces was better than cuckolding him…for now. That would come later. He deserved it for what he'd done to Shimazaki, and Mob, and pretty much everyone who'd he'd ever come into contact with now that Shimazaki really thought about what his life must have been like. You didn't live this kind of life without getting your hands dirty. Sticky. Coppery.

He had to wash his hands.

He dumped the body at the disposal point and called it in. it was the guys over at body disposal's problem now. Shimazaki had to get home and wash his hands. This was always the worst part. It had been worse when he'd been a kid, when he'd been more reliant on his sense of touch. Too damn sensitive, that was what Dad had said, too damn sensitive…that had been the least of what he'd said. It didn't really matter anymore, he was dead and Shimazaki was better off for it.

Mostly.

Maybe he was so fucked up that he'd gone full circle. Toshi had told him, once, that there was a thin line between love and hate. They came together in a circle. The real opposite was apathy. Shimazaki hated apathy. It was so boring…the ultimate form of boredom. When you just stopped caring all together about everything. When you just sat there and listened to the world turn…when you were just…stuck…

Apathy sucked. He was glad he didn't have to feel it.

The stickiness on his hands, however, was torture. He teleported into his bathroom and turned on the tap. Loud…way too loud…or maybe the house was just way too quiet. He had gotten too used to there people around all the time. Someone was always cooking or watching TV or arguing. Hell, he even missed Hatori's constant screaming. He didn't even know what he missed…that screaming was so annoying. He didn't even know…he got to scrubbing. He felt around the sink for the soap…maybe he was tired. That might have been it. He wasn't seeing right…but that shouldn't have taken so much out of him.

He kept on scrubbing.

It helped. He felt cleaner, anyway. It was still too loud, too loud and too quiet at the same time. He kept on scrubbing just to have something cut through the silence. The sound of the tap running was loud enough to be annoying. He didn't know what he wanted. He could either keep going or stop….he stopped. This was getting boring and he didn't do boring.

Boredom led to apathy and he didn't ever want to feel apathy.

He teleported over to his room and tossed his coat off. It hit the laundry pile…he focused on the room around him. The shapes of things…he could feel them. Lines were less vague, more well defined. He could see everything, even the socks that he'd kicked off that morning. He nearly kicked them under the bed…that was a Toshi move. The underside of their bed was a sock a book graveyard. He wondered if they had cleaned their room…it would have probably been easier, with most of his stuff gone.

His room was a mess.

He had way too much stuff. It was easier when Toshi had told him to downsize…he needed someone to tell him what to do. It was just easier…there wasn't as much thinking. Toshi did the thinking for the both of them…but that was a lot on them, maybe. He had relied on Toshi a lot more than Toshi wanted him too…he didn't need things labeled anymore. Not when people weren't moving things around on him. He could do his own laundry, too, when people weren't constantly fucking with the machine or moving his clothes. He didn't even need anyone to cook for him. He hated cooking but he was perfectly capable of feeding himself on his own.

Making the bed, on the other hand, was something that he refused to do.

He threw himself down onto his bed. He didn't see the point in making it if he was just going to lay down in it again. Toshi liked coming home to a made bed, it made them feel cozy. He had never gotten it…and he still didn't get it. What was the point of tucking the blanket it in if you were just going to lay under it? He reached under his pillow and pulled out a dinner candle. Toshi hated it when he did this, too. It made him taste waxy, they'd said, and it was gross to watch.

Nobody was watching him now.

He chewed on his candle. He didn't eat it, that would have been crazy, he just stuck it in his mouth and felt the way his teeth sunk into the wax. The way his tongue pushed against the grooves he'd made already. Even the taste was pretty good. Waxy, like the time he'd eaten the decorative fruit Mom had kept in the house…it had felt like food, but it hadn't been…but it had felt nice to chew on. He felt small when he did this, but in a good way. He felt like…cozy? Was that the word? Toshi would have known, they were pretty good with words. They would have known the word for when you wanted to feel small, for when you could just feel the ghost of being warm…held. Even the word for when you swore you could smell something but you knew it wasn't there…he was pretty sure they had stopped making whatever perfume Mom had worn. He hadn't smelled it on anyone since he had been a kid….

He wasn't a kid anymore.

He could take care of himself, now, and he didn't need to feel small. He wasn't, actually, he was on the tall side. Nothing close to Shibata's height, of course, he was two people stacked on top of one another, but Shimazaki knew he wasn't a little guy. Not a kid. Thirty three…thirty three fucking years old. Birthdays were different now. Up until he'd been five he hadn't even known when his birthday was. Mom just had cake sometimes and new toys for him. After getting out of his room birthdays had turned into celebrations. He'd lived another year, made it through another year…another year had gone by without anyone killing him…Mom had been pretty big on birthdays. Of course after she died it had been up to him to celebrate them himself. He'd never made a big deal out of them…not like Mob had made.

Before.

His birthday had come and gone this year…and if that wasn't a pretty clear sign that Mob was done with him then he didn't know what was. Toshi had at least said 'happy birthday'. They hadn't picked up after that but they'd said it…so that was good….not that he needed them to remind him of his own birthday. He was too needy, like they'd said. That was…now that he thought about it he had liked that about Mob, the way she hadn't minded being needed…it had been nice, having her care about him like that….having someone who cared.

Toshi cared, too, just in their own way. He hadn't been able to see it, that had been his problem, and now…well now they were barely talking to him. He understood why, sort of, of course this would have been weird for them…but maybe it wouldn't be now that Mob had stopped talking to him. Did Toshi know that? He decided that he was never going assume that Toshi knew something about Mob ever again. He had thought that they talked to each other about things…but of course he had been wrong.

What was it that people said about assuming?

Oh yeah, don't assume things. Or however it went. Toshi would have known…he could have called them and asked. He put his candle back down under his pillow and reached out for his phone. He could feel it with telekinesis, he had put it there on the end of the night table. He reached out and pulled…too hard. He wound up hitting himself in the head. Fine movements had never been easy for him…and they fucked with his perceptions, too. He had to force himself to see past his own hand. The world had shrunk to the size of his bed….

Too small for him.

He reached out as far as he could. The four walls, the door, the dresser, the desk, the laptop on the desk, the ashtray next to his laptop, his spare papers…oh, so that was where they'd gone to. The pill case he'd left in his top right drawer. The socks he had balled up on the floor. The way the heater rattled…he could follow the vents through the walls. He could feel the path they took…the next room…the heater…if he really focused he could feel all the way over to the other side…he pulled it back in before he gave himself a headache. The world wasn't small, he wasn't small, and everything was normal. He reached over for Toshi…not that he knew why. They weren't there and even if they had been he still had no idea what he would have even done. What he would have asked of them….not that they needed him to be needy…

They hated it when he was needy.

He didn't like being needy either. He didn't like…there were a lot of things he didn't like about himself. He hated how bored he got sometimes, how lost in the past he got when he was bored, and how he needed someone to pull him out of it. Toshi hated it when he was needy and he hated it when Toshi hated him…disliked him…he felt his phone. It was rectangular. He knew that already. He could see it with his powers. He didn't need to feel it.

It felt nice, though.

Smooth. Cool. The screen and the case. Toshi said that there was a dog on it, a pug though. He used to like those, their fur was soft and their tales were curled, but then Sho had told him how cruel it was that people had done that to them. Made them breathe weird with breeding…people kind of sucked. A lot. It was one thing to fuck with another human, people sucked, but dogs…dogs were man's best friend. Dogs never left you, only when they died, and they always loved you…and needed you. Maybe he liked being needed. Maybe…he had liked it, doing nice things for Mob, hearing her tell him that he'd helped her…maybe that was it. Maybe he just thought that since he liked being needed so much that he became needy?

Soul searching was hard.

Toshi would have been able to help…not that he was calling them to help him out with anything. He just wanted to talk to them, that was all. He'd found a cool knife, of course he was going to inform Toshi. He used to love doing that, bringing them things that he'd found. They'd said that he was like a dog, like a retriever. They hadn't meant it to be an asshole and he hadn't taken it that way. He liked dogs…and he liked finding things for Toshi, too. Books, rocks, bits of sea glass, seeds, acorns…things that Toshi would have liked.

He wasn't sure if Toshi would have liked that knife.

He called them and waited…he didn't get his hopes up. He might have gone straight to voicemail and…and he didn't mind. Not that much. Toshi could sleep if they needed to sleep or eat or just…just ignore him. He was needy, he liked it when people needed him, but that didn't mean that other people liked it when he needed him and if they didn't pick up then he would just get on with his night. He'd get back to his post, or he'd find something fun…someone must have been putting on some kind of concert tonight…or something….there were plenty of things for him to-

-hey!

"Toshi! Hey!" said Shimazaki, sitting straight up. He heard the phone stop ringing. Toshi was grumbling on the other end of the line…or whatever phones worked on nowadays…Toshi would have known, they were smart like that.

Smart and exhausted, it seemed.

"Ryou…what do you want?" asked Minegishi. They yawned, too, and…and now that he thought about it pretty much everyone in the houses around him had been in bed sleeping.

"Mostly just to hear your voice and to tell you about this knife I found…but really I'm just happy that you picked up." Said Shimazaki

"You're just leaping for joy, are you?" asked Minegishi

"I would have if the ceiling wasn't so low." Said Shimazaki

"Don't let that stop you." said Toshi. They laughed…it sounded gravelly. They had either been smoking a lot or he'd woken them up…what time even was it?

"You alright, Toshi?" asked Shimazaki. They could have been sick, too….and Fukuda had still fucked off. He had no idea where to…Mob would have dragged him back, right? If Toshi had gotten sick…they were so far away…and so was he…it felt like someone was jumping on his chest. Not good.

"Tired." Said Minegishi

"Oh…yeah, I figured. I mean I knew it was late but…just…thanks for picking up, ok? I really needed…I really wanted to talk to you, so thanks." Said Shimazaki

"I wouldn't have if it hadn't been one in the morning." Said Toshi. Shimazaki knew it had been late…not that late, though. He could always get back to his post…or he could find some fun…or he could just stay up all night talking.

"It's seriously one?" asked Shimazaki. He would have thought that it was earlier…or later. Osaka was a lot sleepier than Tokyo. People went to bed at one in the morning here. This was when the night was young. One was that sweet spot. The early birds went to bed, the boring people, and things were just starting to pick up. Three was when people started dropping like flies…some people didn't know their limits. Boring. Mob could go all night if she wanted to. Toshi normally called it a night around two...he still would have picked…he didn't know.

"Ask your phone if you don't believe me." said Minegishi. Right. Toshi…stay in the moment.

"I believe you." said Shimazaki

"Good. So, if that's all then I'm going to bed." Said Minegishi. He heard their bedsprings creaking. They had turned around…they really were going to bed.

"Wait." Said Shimazaki. Toshi did wait…and now it was up to him. He just…he watched what he said for the first time in his life…he knew what not to say but he had no idea what TO say…

"Ryou, I'm tired, and I need to sleep. I'm glad you found a knife and I'm glad that nobody's killed you yet, and that's all you're going to get out of me." said Minegishi

"Toshi just…" said Shimazaki. Needy. He couldn't be needy…but he was needy. He missed them more than anything and he needed to be around them….to actually be in the same room as them. To hear their voice right next to him, to be able to smell them, to feel them, to lay down next to them and hear their voice…but that was needy and being needy…Toshi hated that.

And he loved Toshi.

"I'm hanging up now." said Minegishi

"I love you, that's all." Said Shimazaki quickly. Toshi didn't hang out. He could still hear them breathing.

"Go to bed, Ryou." Said Minegishi before they hung out. Shimazaki held his phone to his ear for a little longer…just a little longer. Just long enough to check and see if Toshi was planning on calling him back…of course they weren't going to. They were tired and…and pissed at him. He should have said that he was petty sure that Mob had dumped him…

Next time.

When he was sure. He didn't want…what he wanted it kind of didn't matter. Toshi didn't care too much what he wanted, he had heard them. They were pissed…everyone was pissed…and he had no idea how to fix this. He put his phone down on the bed and laid down. He had heard Toshi's voice and…and that should have been enough for him…but it hadn't been. It just left him wanting more. To talk to them, to actually be with them, to lay down next to them and hold them. He felt the side of the bed. No Toshi…he had no idea why he expected them to be there.

He sat up.

He might as well have gone back to work. It was boring but not nearly as boring as laying here and missing Toshi…he picked his jacket up. He had to go. Maybe there would be another wandering pervert or kidnapper or murderer or something. Maybe he would even find a friend for his new knife.

Knives were the best tools of the trade, after all, and two knives were better than one.