Hello Ranma, Genma, Happosai and Shampoo!PG-13
Niklas "Hawk" Jonsson
Summary: When the Tendo girls first meet the Saotomes, the Saotomes doesn't come alone. They've managed to pick up an early-awakened Master Happosai and our favourite cat-shifting Chinese Amazon on their journey. Master Happosai has already declared Ranma his heir and passed on some of his techniques to him. Akane has never needed much encouragement to accuse Ranma of being a pervert, but this time around, she's actually right!
Disclaimer: Ranma 1/2, the characters and whatnot are not mine, though I certainly wish they were. The story is mine though, all mine. This series deals with mature subject matters and violence. If this disturbs you, don't read. But if it does, then why the heck are you watching the show/reading the manga in the first place?
Feedback/Flames: Yes, please. Both of them are equally fun to read, although I must admit that I greatly prefer the first variety. :)
I can be found on ICQ as 21771860 or through e-mail as , more stories are available at my nifty lil' site at or by clicking on my handle up above.
"speech"
emphasis/shouts/Kindred Domination/post-hypnotic triggers
/thoughts/
/telepathy/
translation
soundeffect/radio/telephone conversation/TV
"I... I... I can't. I can't marry a perverted boy, I just can't." Akane said, finally breaking the uncomfortable silence. Kasumi sighed, but nodded, conceding defeat on that point. She then looked over at Nabiki, who impassively looked back at her elder sister.
"The family honour is at stake. One of us has to do it." Kasumi reminded her sisters, then looked down at the floor, absently reaching out to remove a splinter of wood. "I... I do not wish it, but unless one of you wishes to step up or has some idea of how to get us out of this, I will accept the engagement." she finally said, without looking up.
"I'm not completely unwilling." Nabiki finally confessed, then her shoulders slumped for a few moments before she looked up with fire in her eyes. "But we've just met him! I hardly know anything about him. It's impossible to make a decision like this, just out of the blue. I suggest we go down there and demand some time to ponder this, some time to get to know him! After we've gotten to know him, we can have this discussion again."
Things really had gone better then the three sisters expected. Ranma was certainly agreeable to let them have however much time they wanted to think about it and get used to the idea. In fact, he seemed to be just a leery of the notion of getting married to someone he didn't know as they themselves were. Their father had reluctantly agreed and even Mr Saotome had been 'persuaded' to see reason after Ranma had taken him out back and given him a few bruises, despite the fact that Genma had first been pushing for a marriage within the week. Soun had at first as well, but after three pairs of teary-eyed gazes had been directed at him from his daughters, he caved in near-well instantly.
Shampoo had not been pleased that the three girls were even considering the matter, but kept her complaints to herself, though she did glare darkly at Genma and Soun from time to time. It was obvious to everybody in the room that she did not consider this a valid claim and didn't appreciate the notion of competition over 'her' Ranma.
"Well then, Pops. Now that this is over and done with, perhaps we can finally go see mom. I still don't understand why we had to go here before mom." Ranma responded, then narrowed his eyes as he focused a glare at Genma. "I do still have a mother, don't I? You haven't sold her off for food or anything of the sort?" he inquired suspiciously.
"Uh... Eh... About that..." Genma started and Ranma suddenly developed a twitch in his left eye and eyebrow, which started jumping erratically. "I didn't sell her... She'd have killed me! ... Eh... However... We... Can't go home. Not right now." Genma continued.
"And just why is that?" Ranma demanded, then held out his right hand towards Shampoo, who summoned up one of her Bonbori and placed the handle in the outstretched hand. Ranma brought the imposing looking weapon around and started gently slapping it against the palm of his left hand, as if warming it up for the main event.
"Ah... I promised... You promised... We promised, that you'd become a 'Man amongst Men', or we'd commit Seppuku. There's even a contract..." Genma mumbled, just barely loud enough to be heard by everyone in the room. "What with your curse..." he added, in an even fainter voice. "Well, I hardly think you qualify..."
"Pops..." Ranma grunted, as the twitch grew worse and the sound of Bonbori slapping against palm grew louder.
"Aiyah..." Shampoo whispered under her breath. While she would have commented upon the fact that Ranma could now aim even higher, aim to become a 'Woman among Women', she knew that this wouldn't go over well with her Airen. While some of his Genma-induced opinions about girls had been revised, he was still convinced that men were actually the superior gender. But fool that he was for clinging to his ridiculous beliefs, Shampoo still loved him.
"I am so going to find a way to donate you as a female panda to a breeding program. I don't know how, but I am going to find a way to do it." Ranma growled, just barely managing to keep himself from killing his moron of a father.
Death would be far too merciful for that despicable wretch.
Ranma closed his eyes, pondering the situation and his own feelings about it, trying to regain some of the objectivity he suspected he might possess if it hadn't been for Happosai's influence. It wasn't just in manners sexual that he was suffering from a lack of control, it seemed as if all his emotions, desires and wants were running amuck. If it hadn't been for the incredible tastes of power he'd already came across, he'd have left the old pervert behind back in China.
But the techniques he had learned and were still learning were just downright incredible, if a bit mentally unstabilizing and emotionally unhinging. But if he could learn them and develop his own... Happosai was many things, among them a lecherous perverted drunkard without any inhibitions whatsoever. But he was also a Martial Artist of undeniable levels of brilliance, a genius. He had developed techniques that were incredibly powerful, stolen others that were just as useful and adapted less powerful ones until they became damn well nearly unbeatable.
Ranma knew the risks involved in learning them well by now, but he had sworn to not let them get the better of him. He was Saotome Ranma, he wasn't afraid of anything.
...
Except cats, but that was a very special case.
Or so he kept telling himself anyway.
But truth to be told, he was starting to become afraid of something other then cats.
Himself.
He had prided himself on his control before encountering Happosai. Now, that was all blown to pieces and he succumbed to temptation from time to time. That control, which he had taken such pride in before, was now gone. Well, not entirely to be truthful, but it was still far from the level of control that Ranma wanted, that he needed.
He patted one of his pockets, feeling the metal flagon within. Before meeting Happosai, he'd never touched strong drinks. Now, he carried a flagon with him wherever he went. Before meeting Happosai, he hardly even noticed women. Now, they were almost all that he noticed. Before meeting Happosai, he could pull his punches within a hairswidth from his opponent. Now, Shampoo often walked away from their sessions with bruises because not only hadn't he been able to pull his punches, but he couldn't even control the level of power he put into them.
But there would come a day when he had mastered the techniques, when he ruled them, instead of them ruling him. When that day came, he would have no equals. He would have become the greatest Martial Artist in the world.
But until that day came, he would have to live with the fact that he could no longer trust himself. He would have to live with the fact that he was slowly becoming like Happosai, a living embodiment of the seven deadly sins. Somebody ruled by his passions and desires. But unlike Happosai, they only occasionally guided Ranma. He hoped that would be enough, hoped that he would be able to refine the techniques before it was too late, before he really turned into Happosai and doomed himself for the rest of his life.
"Well, I've lived on the road most of my life. I guess a while longer away from home won't kill me." Ranma sighed, having calmed down somewhat, though he still had to strain to suppress the desire to bash Genma's head in with the Bonbori. He handed it back to Shampoo, who made it disappear with a graceful flourish, then Ranma pulled out his pipe. Another new addition to his lifestyle that had come about after meeting up with the old freak. He filled it with tabac and some special herbs from a pouch he always carried with him, focused hot Ki at the tip of his index finger and allowed it to flare briefly as he put it to the special blend.
A small spark appeared and Ranma sucked down, giving off a faint sigh as he eventually felt the smoke being drawn down into his throat, drifting down to his lungs. His heartrate slowed down, his breathing deepened and he calmed down, cursing the fact that he had to resort to artificial means to completely do so these days. Even though he knew just how detrimental smoking and narcotics were to a dedicated Martial Artist such as him, he had little choice in the matter. He just hoped that his enhanced healing rates would allow him to stave off the detrimental effects, until he no longer had to smoke mind-altering drugs to remain calm and collected.
"How will we go about this?" Ranma asked, turning to the three girls. "Go out on a couple of dates to get to know each other? Hold Q&A sessions here from time to time if you're not feeling comfortable going out on dates? Or do you have any other ideas?"
"A couple of dates sound good." Nabiki agreed after a few moments, looking over at Kasumi.
"I... I think I would like that too." she agreed after a few moments of hesitation, contemplating the idea. She hadn't been on a date, ever, and the notion of finally going on not only one, but several, intrigued her greatly. Granted, he was a bit young, but he seemed mature enough and despite her earlier preconception, seemed anything but boring!
"Hah, you wish." Akane groused, crossing her arms over her chest. "Question and answer sessions for me, thank you very much!" she exclaimed, then took a deep breath to calm herself down. "But... If Nabiki and Kasumi thinks you're trustworthy after their dates, I might consider allowing you to take me out." she amended hesitantly. She hadn't been on any dates either and was rather curious to find out what the big deal was, even if the notion of being alone with a boy made her feel incredibly nervous.
"Airen two-timer..." Shampoo muttered under her breath, glaring at Ranma with a pout on her sexy lips. "Old freak bad influence..." she added after a few moments of consideration.
"And I would be delighted, if you would allow me to take you out as well, Shampoo." Ranma hastily added, having heard Shampoo murmuring to herself and decided it would be in his best interest to not make it appear as if he was just tossing her aside. He offered her a smile which she had in a weak moment confessed made her weak in the knees and saw how she melted, a smile blossoming on her lips and a happy twinkle returning to her eyes.
"Airen have too-too good idea." Shampoo declared, then smirked. "Would be too-too nice if Airen decide to only go out with Shampoo, ignore too-too Nice Girl, Fondling Pervert Girl and Too-too Angry girl altogether!" she added with a laugh, though the tone of her voice and the glint in her eyes revealed that she didn't find all that much funny about it.
"The Schools will be joined!" Soun declared, bouncing onto his feet and yanking out a microphone from one of his pockets. "The combined power of our two glorious Schools will shake the foundations of the very heavens!" he shouted and loudspeakers scattered around the house repeated his statement.
"Oh, happy day!" Genma enthused, joining his friend and slinging an arm around his shoulders. "It's Genma and..."
"Souns..." Soun said, before both of them spoke in chorus. "Conquer the world plan!"
"What will the combined School be named?" Ranma asked innocently. "Will it be the Saotome School, or the Tendo School?" he clarified.
"Why, the Saotome School, of course!" Genma exclaimed.
"You must be getting senile in your old age, my friend." Soun protested. "As the Dojo is mine, naturally it would be the Tendo School!" he claimed, which Genma countered by bringing up that he'd developed more techniques then Soun over the years and then the argument was in full swing.
"There. That should keep them busy for a while." Ranma said with a smirk, tapping his pipe against the ashtray Kasumi had produced for him earlier. "How about we leave them here and go grab something to eat while getting to know each other? My treat." Ranma offered, looking over at the Tendo girls and Shampoo.
"Sounds like a plan to me." Nabiki agreed, committing to memory the smooth manner in which Ranma had diverted the fathers attention and appeased Shampoo earlier. He wasn't all jock, that much was obvious. He appeared to have quite the talent for manipulation and diversion. His offer to treat them to a meal, while at the same time offering them a chance to get to know more about him, wasn't something she was going to pass up on.
"Well, I had planned on starting dinner soon, but I guess..." Kasumi ventured, trailing off for a few moments, before shaking her head. "I guess it wouldn't hurt to eat out, for once." she finally agreed.
"Well..." Akane started, looking hesitant for a few moments, before reasoning that it should be all right, seeing as how both Nabiki and Kasumi were going to be there with her. Besides, if Ranma were to reveal his true colours and turn into a raging pervert, she needed to be there to defend her sisters from his deviant schemes! "All right." she agreed.
"Shampoo?" Ranma asked, looking over at the girl in question.
"Is all too acceptable." she declared. "Shampoo tired of camping cuisine and field rations. Look forward to proper food."
"It's settled then. Shall we go right away or do any of you need to do something first?" he inquired, looking over at the Tendo girls and sneaking a glance at Shampoo.
Ten minutes later, the five of them left the house, leaving behind an unconscious Happosai and two Martial Artists involved in an argument that had regressed to the level of children, consisting mostly of screaming either 'Saotome' or 'Tendo' at each other, while waving their respective arms around.
Nabiki picked the place, a nice little family-run restaurant not too far away from the Tendo residence. The food was good, it wasn't too expensive and it was a quiet little establishment, well suited for a conversation as it usually didn't see much business at this time of week or hour. The five of them got a table straight-away, ordered and soon enough after a little polite chit-chat, found themselves being served.
The Tendo girls didn't touch their food, though, as they were far too intent on observing Ranma and Shampoo starting to fight over the food the moment the waitress had left the table. Chopsticks were darting back and forth at incredible speeds, pieces of food seeming almost to float in the air as the two Martial Artists kept winning them back and forth from each other. How they found time to both do that and eat at the same time, boggled the mind of all three Tendos. It was an incredible display and Akane found herself wondering how to go about training herself to get that fast. Perhaps she could ask Shampoo about it later.
"Oh my." Kasumi exclaimed, looking with an expression that was partly amused and partly impressed as Ranma suddenly had an empty bowl standing in front of him. Shampoo had barely managed to get started on her food, as the fight took too much of her focus. "Teenage boys really are nothing but appetites on two legs." she added.
"Huh? What?" Ranma asked, glancing over at the three girls, before he adorned a sheepish expression. "Oh, sorry. I didn't even... We... Pops has this notion that everything can be turned into training and he came up with fighting over food as speed and precision training. Or so he claimed, anyway. Personally, I think it was just so he could stuff himself when I was too small to hold my own against him. We were so used to it by the time Shampoo joined up with us, that we kept doing it and Shampoo soon joined us." he explained, then chuckled and scratched the back of his head. "I guess we should try to eat in a more civilised manner, huh?"
"We would appreciate it, if it's not too much of a bother." Kasumi agreed with a kind smile. "It is a bit distracting."
"Shampoo sorry, Too-Too Nice Girl." Shampoo apologised. "We try control ourselves." she promised.
"Are you sure that this is all right, Ranma? We can pay for ourselves." Kasumi offered, causing Nabiki to give off a mental wail of protest, though her facial expression never changed.
"Naw, it's on me. I hardly get to spend my money anyway." he replied, as the waitress returned with more food. Both Ranma and Shampoo had placed several orders earlier, which had surprised the Tendo's as neither of the two showed the slightest bit of physical evidence of being such gluttons.
"What do you do? You seem too young to be working and Genma doesn't seem like he'd willingly part with money, so where'd you get it?" Nabiki asked.
"After Shampoo joined us, we participated in a few underground fights in China. Amazons always brings a huge crowd and since I do have this curse that allows me to masquerade as one... Well, let's just say that I kicked ass in singles and that we both kicked ass in team fights." Ranma replied unconcernedly.
"Oh my! That sounds dangerous!" Kasumi exclaimed.
"The Triads can be a bother, or so I've heard." Ranma agreed. "However..." he added and glanced at Shampoo.
"Nobody messes with amazons." Shampoo declared. "At least not more then once... It now be too-too long time since Triads bother amazon fighters. Not since war party crash gates and teach 14K Triad in Hong Kong lesson in polite behaviour towards amazon womans some twenty years ago. Shan Chu, what you call Oyabun, realise too-too quickly value of playing nice after being buried in cow dung up to head and forced walk home after being invited to visit amazon village by war party!" Shampoo laughed with a pleased grin.
"How good are you two?" Akane asked, interested to find out more about these two strangers Martial Arts ability.
"Shampoo is the best of her generation, in a village with a 3000 year old tradition of Martial Arts. I don't think there's more then one or possibly two dozen other women in the world who can match up with her, if that. And most of those are amazons themselves." Ranma replied. "I've been training since I was old enough to walk and have participated in more fights all across the world then I'd care to remember. The only ones who have managed to defeat me in the last year, are Happosai and Shampoo's grandmother. There's probably two or three more in the village besides her grandmother who can kick my ass, according to Shampoo. But other then those, I've never come across anyone who's good enough to beat me right now." he finished, which annoyed Akane to no end, though she did manage to keep a rein on her temper. /I'll show him.../ she thought, eagerly anticipating putting him in his place.
He was faster then her, if the way he and Shampoo fought over food was any indicator. But she'd show him that speed wasn't all that counted. There was no way he could match up with her in either skill or strength, after all, she was the best!
The End! ( For now... )