Chapter 2
The days went by and Bam's depression grew glaringly worse. Jenn had no idea what to do to help him. All she could do was stand back and watch him hurt himself internally.
It pained her to do so, but she knew that with Bam, it was the best thing for her to do.
Bam stood on the deck, gazing out toward the yard below. He leaned up against the wooden railing and tried to find comfort in anything around him that would give it. He blew the air out of his cheeks and turned around toward the house.
He tilted his head back and closed his eyes tight, which released some warm tears that rolled down his cheeks. The tears made a trail that stained the skin on the side of his face as he slowly slid down into sitting position.
Burying his face into his knees, he allowed more and more tears to press against his pant legs. Jenn saw him crying on the deck and came out to make an attempt to comfort him. She knelt down in front of him and placed her arms firmly around his shoulders, drawing him close to her.
"It's ok Bam. It's ok." She cooed softly.
"I don't get it. Why am I feeling like this?"
"I don't know Bam."
"I have a good life, right?"
"Yes you have a very good life Bam."
"Then why do I hate everything in it?" He lifted his head and looked into her eyes. "Why?"
"I don't know. I wish I knew what to tell you."
He buried his face into her shoulder.
"Oh there's nothing wrong with my life. But I can't stand it. I… I… I have all these great things and got them all on my own. I have lots of money and fame and people who love me…. It's just meaningless. The things I mean. I don't deserve the life I have. I don't want it. I want to be normal but no one will ever see me as normal. I hate it. I hate it and I wish there was a way I could escape this life for a while and live a different one. But I can't. I'm fucking stuck."
Jenn held him tight and rocked him gently as he continued to cry.
"I don't know what to do." He blubbered. "I hate my life, I hate everything about myself… I don't know what to do."
"Come on Bam." She whispered. "Let's go inside, ok sweetie?"
"Ok." He sniffed.
"I'll put you to bed. You probably need it. I don't think you've gotten much sleep lately any way."
Jenn stood up slowly with him and draped his arm around her shoulders. He hung his head low as the two of them went inside.
She brought him into the bedroom and he crawled into bed. The tears had slowed considerably but he lied there sniffing for a while, trying to control the tears that were still falling.
Once Jenn knew that Bam was asleep she decided to leave him alone. She stood in the doorway for a moment and looked at him curled up in bed. He looked like a small child lying there, snuggling his pillow for security.