-1Chapter 12: Goku vs. Vegeta

Finally, the time has come for the greatest fight in the history of history. An epic battle of which no one has ever seen the likes. Arguably the greatest hero of all time, Goku, versus arguably the greatest anti-hero of all time. This is their final fight!

Since Vegeta landed on Earth many years ago, he's fucked some shit up, but he's also become one of the people. Even after his stint as the evil Majin Vegeta, he is upholding the Earth by defending it whenever needed. Goku on the other hand has been eating ungodly amounts of ramen noodles and rice and blasting ass chunks all over the bathroom walls. Through this all, Vegeta and Goku have come to a very unlikely friendship. They sit in the back, preparing themselves for their toughest battle yet. They have opted to stay separated before the fight.

"Now, ladies and gentlemen!" The announcer shouted. "It is time for our main event! The finals match is about to be under way! Would Mr. Vegeta and Mr. Goku please step into the ring!"

Both competitors step into the ring. First Vegeta, then Goku. As Goku steps up, he trips over his own foot and slams his face into the concrete.

"Damn, Kakarot! You're whoopin your own ass!" Vegeta said, chuckling. In Vegeta's corner was his beer buddy, Piccolo. By now, the green man was considerably drunk.

"I'm drunk as hell! I bet Kame is fucking wasted!" Piccolo said right before falling out on the ground. In Goku's corner was his son, Gohan, who was high.

"I'm fucking high like.. A fucking high something!" Gohan said, laughing. Goku began to wonder why he even brought his son to the fight.

"Begin!" The announcer shouted and the fight was on!

"I'll your ass from your spine, Kakarot!" Vegeta stated sadistically.

"I'll rip your nuts from your sack, Vegeta!" Goku retorted.

"I'll rip your eyes from your brain!" Vegeta said.

"I'll rip your dick off and eat it!" Goku shouted.

"That's just fucking sick Kakarot!"

Goku lunged forward, punching Vegeta in the mouth. Vegeta quickly retaliated by slamming his knee into Goku's stomach. Neither were hurt and knew there was nothing to this fight so far. They both went Super Saiyan, then SS2, then Goku went 3.

"Damn! I can't do that! You're a fucking cheater Kakarot!" Vegeta shouted.

Goku giggled and dashed toward Vegeta, launching a blast into his gut. Vegeta flew back, barely catching himself before going out of the ring. Vegeta shot a series of blasts at Goku, but Goku was extremely fast.

"If only I could go Ooazaru! I need my damn tail! How the fuck does Kakarot keep getting it back? Wait, I don't need my tail, I just something to act as a tail!" Vegeta said. He began to squeeze a long terd from his ass and let it hang like a monkey's tail. "That'll do!" He shot a blast into the sky and looked at it. Moments later he went Ooazaru.

"How the hell? He doesn't have a tail! I'll have to go Ooazaru too!" Goku does the same and he is now Ooazaru. The two huge ape's clash. They are equal in strength. Both shoot huge beams from their mouths, trying to knock the other out of the ring, but both hit and they fly out of the ring at the same exact time.

"It looks like there is no winner!" The announcer says. "But that sucks purple penis! We gotta have a winner! So, the first person… or monkey to get back in the ring is the winner!"

Vegeta and Goku start to stir. They both rise to one knee. Then Vegeta is on both legs. Now Goku is one both legs. They each take a step forward. Vegeta grabs a chunk of the ring and throws it at Goku to slow him down. The piece of concrete busts Goku in his fat ape lip, but he goes on. Vegeta is half a step ahead now. "Go Vegeta!" Piccolo shouts, finally standing up. "Go dad!" Gohan shouts next. The crowd is on their feet and it's half and half for their support. One more step and Vegeta will be on the ring. Two for Goku. Vegeta picks his leg up and goes to set it down on the ring for the win, but he suddenly locks up. All of a sudden he shrink back to normal size. Goku has the clear advantage now. He has one step to go, but the same thing happens to him. With little energy, both competitors fall out on the ground.

"This is the damnedest shit I've ever seen!" The announcer said. "We have to have a winner! So, by default I declare Hercule the winner!"

"How the fuck?" Piccolo and Gohan shouted together. "That's bullshit!"

"Yeah!" Hercule chimed in as he ran onto the ring. "I'm the champ! I told you people I could do it!"

"You didn't do shit!" Some crowd member shouted. Then everyone started yelling and cursing Hercule.

"Fuck you ungrateful people!" Hercule shouted. "I'm rich as hell! I'm the mother fucking champion too, so fuck off!" Hercule nor the announcer noticed that Vegeta and Goku were now back in the ring. Vegeta slammed his foot into Hercules mouth while Goku jabbed him in the gut. Hercule went down like a little baby and the crowd cheered.

"I guess we're pretty even then Kakarot." Vegeta said.

"Guess so." Goku said as he made his way to the ring exit.

"I suppose we should try this again some time." Vegeta said standing in front of the steps that lead out of the ring. "After you, Kakarot."

"Thanks Vegeta." Goku said as he stepped off the stage.

"FUCK YEAH BITCH I WIN!" Vegeta shouted. "We might be equal in strength, but you're dumb as fuck!"

Goku smirked. "Ya got me Vegeta, ha ha ha, very funny. Now can we go home, I'm ready to fuck my wife and my son's wife!"

"What?" Gohan shouted.

"Oh nothing…" Goku said as he, Vegeta, and Piccolo laughed.

"Is Videl's pussy wide?" Vegeta asked Gohan.

"Actually it is. Why is that?" Gohan said.

"Cause Piccolo can stretch his limbs!" Vegeta said busting out in laughter.

"Huh! What's Piccolo got to do with Videl?" Gohan asked.

Goku and Vegeta looked at Piccolo and laughed. Everyone laughed. Hercule jumped up. "I hit that shit too!" He said and everyone laughed even harder.

THE END