Chapter 9
As the weeks went by, Bam's condition hadn't changed. It appeared as though he was going to perpetually live with the mind of a five year old.

His family and friends were told to try some experimental exercises with Bam, when they paid him a visit, to try to help him back into reality. They were told to try talking to him, and treating him like the adult that he was.

They were told to allow Bam to tell them everything that was on his mind, kind of like in a therapy session, in hopes of finding something that might have been some sort of a trigger to his behavior.

None of the exorcises were getting them anywhere with him, because Bam had no interest in them. All Bam wanted to do during the visits was play.

Jenn sat in one of the chairs and pulled out her compact to check her makeup. Bam snuck up from behind her and placed his chin on her shoulder. He loved every minute that he got to spend with her. It wasn't just because she always played with him, whatever he wanted to play, and she always let him win at the games. For some reason he felt drawn to her, like he knew that she should have been more than his best friend. But he couldn't put his finger on what it was; he just didn't have the capability of understanding why he was attracted to her.

She smiled as she reached back toward him with her hand, and patted him on the head.

"You're so cute Brandon."

"Whatcha doin'?"

"I'm checking my makeup."

She showed him the compact in her hand.

He came around to her side and sat on his knees. "Can I see your mirror?"

"Sure."

She handed him the mirror. He sat there for a second, examining every part of the compact, grinning to himself.

As he stood up he kept his focus on the compact in his hands and then he sat in the chair next to Jenn. She watched him as he looked at the compact with a curious smile across his lips.

He turned it over so he would be looking into the mirror and then his smile faded. This was the first time in a very long time that he saw his reflection in a mirror. His eyebrows pushed together as he stared at his reflection in confusion. His mouth fell open a little and his bottom lip shook for a second. He had a look in his eyes that was a mixture of heartache, puzzlement, and hatred. Jenn saw that look in his eyes and grew concerned.

" Brandon what's the matter?"

He shook his head slowly and continued to stare into the mirror. His lip quivered and two tears slowly rolled down his cheeks.

" Brandon?"

"That's not right…" He said as more tears fell from his eyes. "That's not right."

"What's not right?" He didn't speak, but continued to softly cry.

His body began to shake as he started to cry harder."I shouldn't look…. That's not me. That's not me." Bam dropped the compact and looked up through the tears.

" Brandon what do you mean? Of course that's you." Jenn bent down and picked up the compact. She held it up to try to show Bam but he closed his eyes. "Look Brandon, it's you."

"Nooooo…. That isn't the way I'm 'sposed to look. That's not me."

" Brandon I don't understand. You look the way you've always looked."

"Nooooo…. Why do I look like that? Why don't I look like me?" He cried harder.

Jenn looked around for some one who might be able to help her calm Bam down. Luckily Phil and April had just arrived. They saw Bam crying and rushed up to him and Jenn.

"What's the matter with him?" Phil asked.

"I… I don't know exactly. He was just looking in the mirror and started freaking out. He keeps saying that, that's not him and that he's not supposed to look like that."

"Here Jenn, let me sit there next to him." Said April.

Jenn stood up and let April take the seat next to Bam. April wrapped her arms around Bam and slowly rocked him in a soothing manner.

"Shh shh baby. Everything is going to be all right."

She began to remember when Bam and Jess were little and they needed her to comfort them for whatever reason. Suddenly she remembered a song that she used to sing to them that always got them to calm down and stop crying.

It was the song she sang where she changed the word daddy to mommy, and the name Sean to either Jesse or Brandon, depending on whom she was singing it to at the time. Some how she thought that the song would work for Bam now. The lyrics and her decision to sing them came naturally to her as she continued to rock Bam in her arms.

"Close your eyes. Have no fear. The monster is gone. He's on the run and your mommy's here."Almost as a reflex, Bam's tears began to slow. "Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful boy."She continued. She stroked the side of Bam's head, smoothing out his hair.

"Before you go to sleep, say a little prayer. Every day and in every way. It's getting better and better. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful boy." She kissed him on the forehead, wiped a couple of his tears away, and smiled.

His tears ran even slower as she continued her song.

"Out on the ocean sailing away. I can hardly wait, to see you come of age. But I guess we'll both just have to be patient. It's a long way to go, a hard row to hoe. Yes it's a long way to go. But in the meantime…"

He looked up at her once she stopped singing, letting her know that he wanted to hear more.

"Before you cross the street, take my hand."

Bam closed his eyes and began to mouth the words as his mom sang them, just like he did when he was little.

"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful boy. Darling, darling, darling Brandon."

After she finished the last words of her song, Bam sat up and pulled out of her arms. He looked at her without a trace of tears in his eyes.

For a moment the smiling sparkle returned to the sea of crystal blue and his lips curled happily. In that brief moment he had slipped back into reality.

"You… you haven't sung that to me in a long time." He sniffed. "Not since I was… little."

That statement brought a joyful surprise and relief to the faces of his parents and Jenn. Then just like someone came along with an eraser to his face, Bam's smile faded and he looked around him confused.

"Mom? I'm a little boy, right?" They frowned. "If I'm a little boy, then why don't I look it?"

April, Phil and Jenn looked at each other with all of their newfound hope crushed. They had no idea what to tell Bam so they didn't say a word.