To every individual who loves watching Galloway get his come-uppance *Looking at my dear sweet Betas* Mostly this got stuck in my head, so if I have to visualize it, so do you XD

This one's for you.

Chapter 13 - The Paranoid Mulberry

(MPOV)

I watched with something of a frown as Ironhide glared at the Director. Somehow, I got the feeling that he was quite ready to dispense with the weasel. I scolded myself somewhat for thinking like that, Primus forbid I think it and say it aloud.

...

Mind...

I glanced at Ratchet, set my spanner down and stretched my shoulder out, glaring at the truck. Puzzles that refused to be solved always made my shoulder ache.

"Take a break Kae," Ratchet immediately stated. "Before you break that thing."

"How do you propose I break the truck?" I muttered. "It's already broken."

"I meant your shoulder," Ratchet muttered. "Now go relax and let your muscles regain their proper form."

I winced. The bots were too bloody observant for my own good. However, it worked this time, I wandered over to Ironhide with a tub of wipes, idly pulling one out and wiping a bug off of his grill.

"Hmnph? Oh. Hey Kae," Ironhide grunted softly, still glaring at the Director.

"If you don't quit that, your faceplates are going to freeze there," I murmured, going after several more bugs.

"Mmnph," Ironhide grunted again.

I worked in silence for a little while, wiping away the almost non-existent dust.

"Hey Ironhide?" I murmured.

"Mmnph."

"Do me a favour Ironhide?" I murmured.

"Mmnph?"

"Sing a song Ironhide, I'll teach it to you." I grinned.

"Why in Primus name would I do that?" Ironhide growled softly.

"It'll make the Director squirm."

Ironhide was quiet for a minute.

"I don't sing," Ironhide grumbled.

"You don't gotta say the words aloud," I murmured with a grin.

"You just said sing."

"Well hum it," I murmured.

"You sing it."

"Yeah but if I sing it it won't work," I murmured.

"What won't work?"

"Making the Director Paranoid."

Silence.

"A song is supposed to do that?"

"Just trust me will you Ironhide?" I asked in exasperation. I mean yes, according to Optimus the irritating little Weasel man could usually be counted on to yell for three hours or so, but still.

"Sing the song," Ironhide rumbled again. "And we'll see if I sing it."

I'd take that.

I knelt down, out of sight from the catwalks and began wiping his chrome down.

"All around the mulberry bush the monkey chased the weasel-" I started singing softly. Ironhide snorted softly. Oh yeah, I had him on my team. "The monkey thought t'was all in good fun, pop goes the weasel."

I let him think about that for a second.

"What's the game plan?" Ironhide rumbled softly.

"Oh, I thought you could transform and pace a bit, like you seem to want to do, hum the song and every time you hum 'pop goes the weasel' glance at the Director?"

He stood silent for a long moment.

"Ironhide?" I murmured.

"Hurry up with my armour so I can pace," he snorted softly.

I chuckled and quickly wiped him down, wandering back to my workbench and glaring at the truck again. I pursed my lips, ran through the problems again and grinned. Electrics.

Twenty minute fix.

I glanced up with idle 'curiosity' as Ironhide transformed.

Now that. Was a sight to behold.

Ironhide was lazily pacing back and forth, idly spinning his cannons and humming the children's lullaby. Jolt was openly staring at him.

"Ironhide?" Optimus rumbled calmly.

Silence. I wondered if Ironhide could hear me.

"Well, he's gonna be yelling for another hour or two, and my legs are crampin' up," I growled under my breath.

Then, to my joy.

"Well the little slagger's gonna be yellin' for another fifteen breem and I've got a kink in my lines," Ironhide grumbled. Movement in the corner of my eye.

Of all things, Ratchet winked at me. Then, then the sound of a vocal processor offlining, then rebooting again. The sound was coming from Optimus.

No way.

Optimus nodded to Ironhide and turned back to Galloway.

Then that dear, treasure of a bot, completely blocked out any sign that he noticed Ironhide either humming or pacing.

Priceless.

Every now and again I'd glance up, Galloway was fidgeting, sweating, his body language focusing more on Ironhide's pacing and glancing than on his own speech.

The man finished rather quickly after that.

He beat a hasty retreat, and the second the sound of the helicopter began fading, Optimus turned and crouched down to look at me.

"That. Was cruel." Optimus rumbled flatly.

"Then why did you laugh?" I asked him curiously.

"I did not laugh," Optimus rumbled immediately.

"You laughed." I told him with a grin.

"And how did you arrive at that conclusion?" Optimus asked, anyone could hear the low tone of amusement creeping up in his voice.

"Because you laughed," I shrugged.

"I did not laugh."

"You offlined your vocal processors so we wouldn't hear it, did you not?"

"Yes but-"

"Because you laughed." I grinned.

Optimus promptly buried his face in a hand.

"I can still hear you grinning Optimus," I murmured with a smirk. Ironhide snorted, and covered his throat.

"You, are a terrible person," Optimus informed me.

"I know," I shrugged, turning back to servicing the jeep.

The soldiers surrounding us were dead silent, staring at us.

"Oh see now look what you've done! You made the humans glitch!" Ratchet scolded me the next second. I snorted, and immediately covered my mouth and nose. Scrap. Humans in the area. Bee didn't care when I snorted, but girls weren't supposed to snort.

Optimus rolled his optics and reached toward me. Then, an infinitely careful finger tapped my head.

"Quit corrupting my unit," he rumbled calmly. It was a commanding tone, but inherent to that tone, a mocking lilt.

"Did you really want to hear him yell for another two hours?" I asked him teasingly.

"...No," Optimus rumbled in a resigned tone.

"Then it's not really corrupting, is it," I grinned, purposely refusing to make it a question.

Optimus rolled his optics again, shooting me a mildly irritable look and rising.

"Femmes!" her rumbled, shaking his head and returning to his own tasks.

I glanced at Ratchet, worried now, what if I had offended him?

But the medic was smirking, shooting another wink at me.

Hah. Victory.

A final note, it is entirely possible that you learned 'pop goes the weasel' with different lyrics, be it the cobblers bench or whatnot, which is understandable, the nursery rhyme is practically regional at this point. However I learned this particular version as a child, so that's how I wrote it and cobbler's bench just seems weird to me now ;) feel free to substitute it in your own mind however, who am I to stop you?