There was nowhere else in the world that Sho wanted to be than in Ritsu's room.

Sure, it smelled weird in here, kind of like a bookstore, and his mom put way too much fabric softener in his clothes and stuff, but Sho still wanted to stay here forever. What could have been better than being cuddled up with Ritsu in a nest of blankets and pillows? The two of them sitting in the dark together, the only light in the room the glow in the dark stars above Ritsu's bed…it felt like they were the only two people in the entire world. Sho wished that they were the only two people in the entire world. If they had been, like in a movie or something, then they could have been together forever.

They would have had to scavenge for food and stuff, and also probably fight off zombies since that was normally how those movies went, but they would have been able to be together forever and that was the best thing ever.

Going home…that was something that he was going to have to do. He broke away from Ritsu for a second, partially for air and partially to see what time it was. Almost one…he needed to get back soon. Fukuda was going to start worrying about him. Tsuchiya and Shibata, too, probably. Though Shibata usually knew how to mind his own business. Tsuchiya was always worrying about him, like a mom did, but she wasn't his mom so she didn't have to worry. He wished that the Seventh Division wasn't so crowded, then he could have maybe lived on his own. He was probably about old enough to live all on his own. It would have been great. If he lived on his own then he would have been able to come and go as he pleased.

Or maybe just go and never come back.

"What?" asked Ritsu as Sho looked over the top of his head. The glowing numbers on the clock bathed him in white light, the stars on the ceiling painted him in green, and even in this dim light he knew that Ritsu's face was red. This would have been a great picture for Christmas. He would have used those nice new pencils Big Sis had gotten him, too, and that nice paper…he had brought one of his sketchbooks with him, it was in his backpack…and Ritsu did look really cute right now….if cute was the right word…

Hot, maybe, would have been better.

"Nothing." Said Sho before he leaned in and kissed him again. Hot was the right word. He felt hot, first of all, and Sho knew that he did too. The heat was on really high and he was wearing his coat…and also he was kissing Ritsu and Ritsu was the cutest, hottest, whatever the word was, guy that Sho had ever met in his life…though even if Ritsu hadn't been he still would have felt this way. All warm and….and other stuff. He kissed Ritsu again, a bunch of little kisses so he had a chance to breathe. He had been breathing for the past thirteen years but had only been kissing Ritsu for a few minutes at best if he was counting total kissing time.

He wished that he didn't need to breathe. It was cutting into valuable kissing time.

He kissed Ritsu faster. Kiss. Breathe. Kiss. Breathe. Over and over again. He made sure to breathe in fast after he kissed Ritsu, fast and deep, so he'd have plenty of air left over from the last kiss. That way he wouldn't die and have to turn into a spirit and explain to Big Sis what had happened…actually if it ever came to that he was passing on. He wasn't going to talk to his sister about this, it was too weird. It might have been less weird if she had been his brother, since they would have both been guys, but still it also would have been different. She would have liked girls, then, and there was a difference between liking a guy and a girl, maybe.

There was certainly a difference between kissing a guy and a girl.

Sho had kissed a lot of girls in his life…well, they had mostly kissed him…but he'd kissed one girl out of his own free will a bunch of times. It had always felt kind of…there? Like there were her lips and his and they were touching and then they weren't. Kissing Emmy hadn't felt a thing like kissing Ritsu, there hadn't been any fireworks, or even any sparklers. The goldfish in his stomach hadn't reacted at all. It hadn't swum or spun or tried to crawl out of his bellybutton or set off a firework show. It had just sort of sat there waiting for something to happen. With Ritsu it was like the goldfish in his stomach was living in energy drink or something. Like he had raided Hatori's shelf in the fridge and drank every single drink he had, well not the gross orange ones, but all of the others. It was like the goldfish in his stomach was trying to swim out of his bellybutton, like it was trying to go up his throat, like it was trying to swim from his body to Ritsu's…he kind of wanted to let it…

But he knew better.

That would have been too much. Even kissing was a lot. One hand around him, the other in his hair, and their legs all tangled together…this was good. He knew what came after this, mostly. He knew what he'd seen and read about. He didn't know how much of that was real and how much of that was just to get views. Some of the stuff that guys did together, that they were supposed to do together, looked like it really hurt. Like stuff wasn't supposed to go inside of stuff and stuff like that…but that was what two guys were supposed to do…

He took a longer pause.

He needed more space between kisses. His brain probably wasn't getting enough air if he was even thinking about that kind of stuff right now. He knew better than to think about stuff because thinking about stuff led to…other stuff. Stuff that he really wanted to do but couldn't because this wasn't his house, first of all, and second of all he would have had to explain it to Ritsu and…ok, that was what guys did with each other and stuff but…but he didn't want to talk about that! Not now, not with his boyfriend who he never saw. What if they started talking about stuff and then Ritsu wanted to do stuff and then Sho was bad at it? Or his asshole's dickhole of a friend came back home and caught them doing stuff? Or his parents came home and had a bunch of questions. Or-or Fukuda came looking for him and then caught him and Ritsu in the middle of-of stuff?!

He didn't know if he would have survived.

Longer pauses between kisses. Ritsu's hand was in his hair. It felt good, sort of. Not a lot of people touched him, and nobody ever touched him like that. It didn't hurt, it felt kind of nice. This whole thing felt nice…he never wanted it to end….he looked over at the clock. Past one…he needed to go…but there were still so many kisses to be had. Even if they didn't do anything, and he hoped that they didn't do anything, they could still kiss each other…but if Ritsu wanted to do more than kiss then…then Sho would try. He didn't know how to do a lot of stuff, he'd never had the chance to practice with anyone before, but he could try and…and if he sucked then he'd just have to run away and never come back…change his name and get plastic surgery…flee the country…move to that space platform that Dad was planning on building when he finished taking over the world. Wait, no, that last one wasn't going to happen since they were going to stop Dad…but if they didn't then Sho was going to live in space…but only if he fucked this up with Ritsu! But he couldn't fuck this up…Ritsu had stopped kissing him…

He'd fucked the whole thing up.

"Ok, what's wrong with you?" asked Ritsu

"Nothing's wrong." Said Sho

"No, something is wrong. You keep on staring off into space. If you don't want to kiss me then you can just say so. I have a bunch of questions about that base in the woods, anyway, and some more about all the operatives I've seen around lately." Said Ritsu. Sho shook his head. No way were they talking about this. Aside from the fact that Ritsu would probably end up captured again if he fought against Claw once Ritsu got into planning mode it was impossible to get him out of it…and Sho didn't feel like planning out how he was going to take over the world right now.

Right now he just wanted to kiss his boyfriend. Was that too much to ask?

"I do! I mean I do want to kiss you and I don't want to talk about Claw stuff, since that gets in the way of the kissing part, but…I don't know. I was just thinking." Said Sho

"About what? Is something going to happen? Does your dad have something planned for the New Year?" asked Ritsu

"He's going to go and see his girlfriend. They're going to watch the New Year's fireworks show at the planetarium but I don't know what else. That's all she told me." said Sho. He didn't care what Dad did just so long as it wasn't anything bad, and just so long as Shiori was ok. She was alright and she didn't deserve to get captured or killed or whatever else people were planning on doing to her to get to Dad. It wasn't her fault that she had bad taste in guys and stuff and she shouldn't have had to pay just because Dad was a dickhole.

"No, I mean does he have anything planned with Claw? Is he going to act soon? This would be a good time, New Year's and all. Dramatic." Said Ritsu

"No, it's a bad time since it's the end of the last quarter and the start of the first. Dad mostly just finalizes the budgets for the next year over the holidays. I don't think that he's going to do anything until summer, it's kind of slow during summer….but I don't want to talk about this right now. Come on, let's kiss some more." Said Sho. He leaned in and kissed Ritsu. Ritsu kissed him back, and it felt amazing, but he pulled away afterwards, which felt like someone had kicked him in the balls and the heart at the same time.

"You don't seem like you want to kiss." Said Ritsu

"I do, I do, I was just thinking about stuff before but I can stop….at least I can try to, I mean, for you and shit…stuff, I mean. I mean I want to kiss you and stuff…wait, no, not stuff. I mean…you know what I mean, right?" asked Sho

"No, not at all, but I do want to talk about Claw. Me and Teru found five other guys, four guys and a girl, and I was thinking that we could infiltrate-" said Ritsu

"No way!" said Sho

"Yes way. We could infiltrate the base and at least free any prisoners that they have." Said Ritsu

"There's no prisoners right now. The cells are mostly full of Christmas decorations and stuff. Big Sis said no more kidnapping but then Dad said 'yes' to more kidnapping and it's kind of a mess." Said Sho

"Fine, then, we can break in and sabotage something. Like the big computer or whatever. We can lose them all of their data and then-" said Ritsu

"It won't work. My Dad has this guy, he's kind of my brother now since my Dad adopted him, who can use his powers to control any electrical system. I'm pretty sure that he has everything backed up. Hatori would probably find you and show everyone your search history, too, if you messed with the data." Said Sho

"I don't care who sees my search history. Everyone already knows that I'm gay and, anyway, Teru's is worse. At least my stuff doesn't have people hitting each other while they do it. I don't get it." Said Ritsu. Sho sat up. He knew that was a thing but he had never gotten it…or thought that people were into that kind of thing. Wasn't it all about being in love, like Mom had said? Or maybe just to feel good, like Big Sis had said…but then why would someone want to make another person feel bad?

If that guy had hit Big Sis then Sho…he wasn't sure what he was going to do but he knew that when he was done he was going to have to call the body disposal squad.

"I don't get it either…and if he hit my sister then I'm going to kill him. I don't know how yet. Maybe I'll drown him in orange juice." Said Sho

"Make him eat oysters, they make him throw up. I don't think he hit her, though, I think he might have loved her. He talks about her sometimes, not always to brag. He wonders what she's doing and stuff. I tell him not to but he doesn't listen. He's such an idiot sometimes." Said Ritsu

"He's weird, I don't know why you hang out with him." Said Sho. There was a twisty sort of feeling in his guts when he thought about Teru and Ritsu together, like the goldfish in his stomach had gotten all tangled up in his intestines or something.

"He's my best friend, and the only guy friend I've ever had. Next to you, but you're my boyfriend, so it's different." Said Ritsu

"You mean like how you aren't in love with him and don't kiss him and stuff?" asked Sho. Ritsu gave him a look that clearly showed what he thought of him…and he thought that Sho was a moron. That made sense, Sho felt like a moron. Of course Ritsu wasn't going to cheat on him, and certainly not with someone like Teru.

"Yeah…because he's not my boyfriend and he only likes girls." Said Ritsu

"I know, I'm sorry. I just thought…dumb stuff. My brain's been acting dumb all night." Said Sho

"How can your brain act dumb?" asked Ritsu

"It's just…being all weird and stuff. Making me think stuff about you and me." said Sho

"And it's making you forget how important taking Claw down is. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only who takes this seriously, you know? Reigen wants to act like nothing ever happened and Teru's more interested in beating guys up at school and making out with girls than helping me save the world. The guys we found aren't that strong and I can't tell my parents or Tsubomi…and now it's like you're giving up, too. It's like the whole world's gone crazy and I'm the only sane person." Said Ritsu

"Hey! I'm sane too! I just…I'm closer to it, I guess, and I know more about what's going on. You're freaking out because you don't know how calm things are right now. My Dad's mostly worried about money and my sister's mostly worried about throwing parties and trying to figure out how a milk water fountain would work. I don't know why…I guess because she likes milk and the Awakened like what she likes…sometimes I think that I'm not even going to have to do anything. Everyone already loves her more than Dad." Said Sho. Ritsu's eyes narrowed. His aura chased away the darkness….but not in a god way.

"I'm freaking out because there's a guy trying to take over the world and from what I can tell he's probably going to do it." Said Ritsu

"Big Sis is probably going to take it from him, even Fukuda thinks so and he doesn't like her at all, and then we won't have to worry. If anyone's going to be good at ruling the world it's her. She's really nice and she cares about people. My Dad only cares about himself." Said Sho. That didn't calm Ritsu down, if anything it just made him madder. He sat up now. Sho followed.

It didn't look like they'd be doing any more kissing anytime soon.

"That doesn't matter. I don't care who's trying to take over the world, Sho. Your Dad or your sister or your hamster. I care that the world is going to be taken over. I can't let that happen and if you want it to happen then….then I don't know." said Ritsu. His voice died off into a whisper at the end of that. He brought his knees up to his chest and rested his chin on them. Sho felt the goldfish in his stomach swim down and get all tangled up in his intestines again, maybe his heartstrings too. If those were real, he didn't know a lot about body parts.

"What-what don't you know?" asked Sho

"….if I can be with someone who wants to take over the world." Said Ritsu softly. The goldfish in Sho's stomach was now fully entangled in his intestines. They were all knotted up and ripped apart, like when he got a really bad knot in his hair, though he knew that this wouldn't be as simple as ripping it out…and he didn't want to, anyway. It already felt like his heart had been ripped out. He didn't want to add anymore body parts to the list.

"You….you don't mean…" said Sho

"I mean what I said, ok? I don't know if we can be together if we want such different things. I want to save the world and, what? You want to take it over? You're only going to save the world if it means stopping your Dad? Your sister is ok because she's nice to you? That doesn't matter. Nobody is supposed to take over the world and if you want that-" said Ritsu

"No! I don't…I don't want that! I can't want that! All I want…all I want is to be with you. All I want is to be your boyfriend and hold your hand and kiss you and listen to you talk and watch you smile…that's all I want." Said Sho. It came out before he could think. The only thing he wanted was to be with Ritsu…right? Even if it meant working against Big Sis, too? He loved Big Sis…and he loved Ritsu, too, but in totally different ways. Ritsu may have looked like Big Sis, a freaky amount like Big Sis, but that didn't mean that he was Big Sis…and it would have been creepy if he had been. Ritsu was his boyfriend and…and he loved him so much….

But did he love Ritsu more than he loved Big Sis?

It was a different kind of love. The kind of love that was going to make him work against Big Sis. It was one thing to work against her when she had been supporting Dad, Dad was pure evil, but now that she was doing her own thing…now that she was seeing Dad for what he was…he didn't know if he could work against her. The world that she was going to make was…she was going to make it better. She knew what it was like to hide, to have to pretend to be someone you weren't, and when she came to power she was going to fix that…and he didn't know if he could have taken it away from her…

Ritsu kissed him.

Ritsu leaned in and kissed him…and held it. Sho needed air. He needed to breathe…but if he could breathe then he could think…and he didn't want to think about anything right now. He was ok with starving his brain of oxygen right now if it meant that he could just enjoy this. He had just agreed to betraying Big Sis…he didn't know if he could do it…even if it was the best thing for the world. Even if it was for love. Sho did a lot of things for love but he had never done anything like that…

Ritsu kissed him again.

Maybe it was better for the world if nobody ruled it. Sho knew that he hated being told what to do so the rest of the world probably would, too…but Dad had always said that when he took over the world there would be no more wars and crimes…that was a good thing. Espers wouldn't have to hide, either, and that was even better….but he didn't want Dad to come to power! He could never want that! But Big Sis believed a lot of the same stuff that Dad did…and she was probably going to be nicer about taking over the world than Dad was. He couldn't see her kidnapping the prime minister and holding him hostage on live TV. He couldn't see her taking over the world through killing all the world's leaders. He couldn't see her holding the world economy hostage. He couldn't see her doing anything other than asking nicely….because that was who she was…a nice person…

Ritsu kissed him for longer.

But nice people didn't try and take over the world…right? Because the world was meant to be ruled by countries…but countries had wars and stuff. Wars and crime and the underworld, which was where most espers wound up, and where even Shimazaki had said that he hoped Sho never wound up. Also most espers were so lonely because they thought that they were the only ones…if they took over the world, if Big Sis ran the world, then everyone would be able to come together…but also everyone's lives would be all messed up…and there was no way Dad was going to just let go of power. There was probably going to be a war inside of Claw while they were having a war against the whole world…and world wars never worked out. The world war was why Dad and Fukuda didn't have grandparents, Fukuda had said. The world war was also why Japan was so weak now, Dad had said, though Sho didn't know why having a big army and pushing the other countries around was important...and anyway anything that Dad had said was, obviously, not important at all. If Dad said it then…then it was dumb and not worth fighting for…even if Big Sis was going to rule the world better than Dad ever would have…

Ritsu stopped kissing him.

"Sho, promise me that you'll help me…promise me that you won't turn on me…promise me that when it happens you'll side with me. Please." Said Ritsu, taking his hand. Sho could see his eyes in the dim light…they were all glassy. His aura was all pulled inwards….he was hurt. Of course he was. He thought that Sho was going to betray him…

Sho could never have betrayed the person he loved…loved like this.

"I….I will." Said Sho. He meant it…mostly. He wasn't going to betray Ritsu and…and Big Sis still loved Dad. There was a chance that Fukuda was wrong and that she wouldn't have the balls to try and take Dad down. If she didn't try and take Dad down, and take Claw for herself, then Sho….he could help Ritsu…and even if she tried to then…then maybe he could ask her nicely to stop…she usually listened to him…usually…

Ritsu kissed him again.

A deep sort of kiss, the kind that he felt from the top of his head to the bottom of his feet. He loved Ritsu so much. He felt it so much in that moment. He felt it and…and he wanted…he wanted this to last forever. He didn't want to ruin this by telling Ritsu that he didn't know if he could betray his sister…that he didn't know if he could work against the only person who had been there for him, that wasn't Fukuda, no matter what and for all of these years…he didn't know what he was capable of doing, what he could do, when the day came…so he just kept on kissing Ritsu.

There was nowhere that Sho wanted to be more than in Ritsu's room, kissing him, and that was enough for now.