Disclaimer: I don't own anything…
Summary: I miss one big thing about him… he is dancing with her… he is in love with her. Raven finds it very difficult to handle her feelings for her long-time friend Richard. Who would help her? Raven x Flash, some RobStar and eventually RobRaeFlash .
Chapter 10: Run :In Raven's P.O.V.:
Oh my…
I just took the Azarath University entrance exam yesterday and I did not care one thing about it… and it's because all I thought about that time was Wally West.
Not only that; when I went home and tried to rest, my dreams were infested by a thousand Wally's.
Oh my fuc-
I can't believe this… after all this time; I have been treating Wally as how Richard has been treating me. Why? Why did I miss the clues? Why did I miss the hints? They were laying there so obviously; I could have noticed it before, but I was too busy lamenting on Richard's rejection of me.
I can never miss the irony in this.
A sudden pang of guilt shakes my whole body.
So… I am the cause of Wally's frustrations? It's quite hard to believe… Was I the reason why Wally fought Richard? Are his feelings the cause of his dramatic reactions towards Richard's actions? Were his snaps for me? Were the thoughtful acts of friendship hints of his want to pursue me? How long has he been doing this?
I am so clueless, it makes me dizzy.
How I wish I had known this earlier.
I also wish that I used the chance to confront and talk to him when we were on that boat two days ago. But no… I had to cower and pretend that I hadn't heard a thing… God, what is wrong with me? I even asked- we even- I picked a dress with him! It was clear at that time that we were lying to each other… I knew, and he knew that I knew.
…
Wally is the only person that I can be honest with… I don't want to lie to him… I don't want to start lying to him… I don't want to keep lying to hom.
Why do I have to mess everything up!
I mess-up everything that matters to me. I have ruined my friends' relationship with each other… I have put a stain on Richard and Kori's relationship. I have put Victor and Gar in such an awkward mess. I have ruined Richard's reputation along with Wally's… and now, I have unpleasantly stained my friendship with Wally.
Oh God… I can never face him again. I am ashamed; ashamed of my actions towards him, ashamed of the frustrations that I have caused him, ashamed of how I showed him nothing other than lamentations of Richard. I am ashamed that I have become so self-absorbed.
Oh Wally…sweet Wally, I'm so sorry.
He has been nothing but a sweetheart to me. He was there for me when I was starting to crumble down… even when we still weren't close, he was there. He's the first one to offer me understanding smiles that I have been deprived of… and he's also the one who has encouraged me to give the smiles that I have been depriving others of.
I have never realized how important he is to me; how significant he is in my life…
… I owe him so much.
… And that's why I can never face him again. I can't… I can't stomach my previous treatment of him; it would be so unfair to him if I keep on befriending him; it would also be awkward if I continue our companionship, all the while ignoring what he feels. It would be-
… I don't know.
All I understand is that I have done him wrong and I can't forgive myself.
…And I can't allow myself to embrace the comfort that is Wally… because I certainly don't deserve that.
Shit.
Feeling more frustrated and dizzy; I lie down on my bed and sigh as I reach under my pillows. I grab a pocketbook from it.
"Thinking Better," I read to myself as I open and browse the book.
This is probably the closest thing I have to Wally.
Oh God… stop thinking of Wally…
Grumbling; I read the 'table-of-contents' of the book, hoping that it'll take my mind off of my worries.
:Out of Raven's P.O.V.:
"Kori… NO!"
- - - click- - -
"Ugh… why does she have to be so stubborn?" Richard growls as he clutches his cellphone. He lets out another growl as he dials Kori's number again.
Richard swallows the lump in his throat as he hears the other line ring, "C'mon Kori… answer," he pleads, waiting anxiously for her to answer.
God, how he prays for a pleasant conversation.
His prayers aren't answered.
"RICHARD, I AM NOT TALKING TO YOU, SO STOP CALLING ME!" Kori's voice angrily booms from the other line. Strangely though; she hesitates to end the line.
Richard uses this opportunity to speak, "Kori… please, just PLEASE, listen to me!"
…
When he receives no answer, he just continues to speak, "Please, I don't know what's happening to us-"
"YOU KNOW THAT! THE WHOLE ISSUE WAS ADDRESSED TO YOU THE LAST TIME WE TALKED!" Kori snaps, cutting him off, "What is happening to us is that I cannot trust you anymore because you're keeping secrets from me."
"Kori-"
"And don't make any 'I don't know what you're talking about' excuse," Richard winces at this, "You are clearly hiding some of our friends' problems from me."
"Kori, they are not your problems and you don't need to be bothered by them," Richard sighs, "Why is it bothering you so much anyway? Is it enough for you to completely hate me?"
Silence.
"Kori?"
"Richard, I can never hate you." Kori finally answers softly, "And I don't know why it bothers me so much, and you guys – especially you- hiding something from me really hurts me… and I can sense that this is serious… I don't know… Richard, can you at least tell me why you're not telling me anything? Because the only conclusion that I can come up with is that it has something to do with me…"
"Kori-"Richard tries to interfere, but Kori doesn't let him.
"What else can I come up with? I am the only one that's left-out about this and there's no other reason for it other than because I am to blame," Kori sighs sadly, her voice cracking, "This makes me feel ill, and I'm so sick of it… Will you please tell me why you're not telling me anything, Richard?"
Silence. All she hears are the buzzes of the phone line.
…
"Richard-"
"Because I'm afraid… I don't know what of, but I'm scared as hell," this has been the most truthful thing he has told her in the past few days, "But understand, one of the clearer reasons why I'm not telling you anything is because I don't want to hurt you…"
Yes… they were all true… they were all parts of the truth.
Richard sweats as he anxiously wait for a reply. Hoping that his explanation will be enough for her; he continues to wait… but all he hears in return is a tired sigh.
"What is the point of it? You already are…" with that, Kori ends the line.
Silence.
"Dammit…" Richard whispers. Feeling tears rim around the corners of his eyes, "DAMMIT!" He shouts now as he throws his cellphone on the floor and gives it a kick, "Dammit…"
Victor watched the scene in pity… Victor has watched the whole scene in ptiy.
"Hey ,man…" Victor walks towards his friend and pats his back, "Calm down," he says sympathetically.
…Richard just came to his senses.
'Finally humbling down and realizing your mistakes,' Victor sighs as he thinks. He pats his back again.
After a couple of pats, Richard replies, "Thanks man…"
Attempting to lighten the situation, Victor pats his back again, "What? For these pasts? They're nothing…" he grins.
Victor smiles, pleased as Richard chuckles, "No… for still being my friend… after all this," he smiles sadly.
'That's because I knew that you'll soon come to your senses,' Victor thinks as his respect for Richard regain slowly. He smiles..
"As a friend, Rich… Let me ask you one more time. Why don't you want Kori to know?"
Silence.
"Because, Vic, I'm afraid that she might hate me," Richard answers, "I'm afraid that she might hate Raven… and that Raven might hate me for it."
Silence.
"…I can't believe I'm telling you all this crap," Richard sighs and smiles darkly.
Victor keeps quiet.
Victor indeed knows everything now.
:In Raven's P.O.V.:
'Expand your understanding, Wally, enjoy good relationships, Wally, develop a balanced view, Wally, be kind to yourself, Wally, make wise choices, Wally… Wally, Wally, Wally, Wally, Wallace Rudolph West.'
"AAH!" I let out a frustrated scream as I throw the book across my room.
"Damn," I growl as I rub my forehead. Not only does that book make me relentlessly think of Wally, it also makes my head throb madly… as if it's saying something to me.
… I ignore it though.
I groan, burying my face under my pillows as I suddenly feels sick. I have read the book to take my thoughts off of Wally… not to infest my mind with a thousand pictures of him.
"God, Raven… can't you just clear your mind… just for a fucking second?" I seldom say profane words, but with my frustrations, it comes out naturally.
"Oh God," I moan and sob as the ill feelings start to overwhelm me.
…
I blame my wretched feelings for Richard.
…
Imagine it if my feelings for him didn't exist.
… Then I can let myself fall for Wally. It wouldn't be hard; I already adore him. Then we'd go out, get married, have sex, have kids, and live happily ever after.
Haha.
…
Well…I guess, there would also be less problems… my nightmare of upsetting everyone will end. I will be able to please everyone; I will be able to please Wally… the nagging in my head will stop and I will be happy. Happy because my friends will get what they want and will not have to deal with the chaos my feelings have caused. I will be happy because I will stop blaming myself for not giving what people want… what they want to happen.
The damage that I have done will be erased.
…
But no… my wretched feelings exist… have existed and the damage has been made.
Richard hates me… the boy that I have been devoted to blames me for making his life confusing. I have made him unhappy. Now, Kori is not playing oblivious anymore… she will demand an explanation soon; she already has… if she gets what she wants, she'll feel betrayed… hurt… by me. She will hate me for it… the girl that used to call me her 'bestfriend' will be filled with scorn.
… Then their relationship will fall apart. Everyone's relationship will fall apart.
…
This is so unfair.
I have put up with my misery to keep everyone's life stable and unbothered… why is it bothering people so much now? First was Richard… then Victor and Gar… then Kori. And now, Wally… who's next? Wally's friends? What have I done? What am I doing? I don't know… Am I cursed to be miserable? Am I laso hexed to make everyone's life miserable? Again, I don't know…
Why are all these problems piling up?
Look at me; I'm not blaming my feelings anymore… I'm blaming myself.
I never realized how much has happened, how ill things has gotten… how I am so affected with all these highschool drama that no one cares about…
Ha.
I guess the realizations were triggered by Wally.
Wally…
…Wally.
Wally.
What do I want to do now? What will I do now?
I don't know, my head is too worked-out with all of these dramatic issues.
……
…..
….
…
--BEEP!--
--BEEP!--
I turn and look at the cellphone in front of me. Grateful for the two messages that I have received. Whatever message they bring; it will take my mind off to somewhere… somewhere away from my place.
I read the messages.
…
…And they do the opposite of what I have expected.
'I'm not talking to Richard again.'
Kori.
Oh God… no.
This is what I have feared most.
I have been, and still am, so frightened of people when they are upset… I am afraid of being the cause of it.
I feel and want to run away…
'Raven, you're still my date for the dance this Saturday night, right?'
Run.
End Chapter
Author's cousin's note: Errr... Hello. I'm just doing this for a favor. My cousin couldn't update for a while because she had typhoid and was confined in a hospital. Well... she got better, but she caught another cold or virus and is back in the hospital. She just left me some instruction in updating this. Well... her intructions weren't that clear, so if there's a mistake that I made, just inform her when she gets better.
I am going to attach a text or some reply thingies that my cousin wrote. Again, if I made a mistake, just inform her.
Here's the message from my cousin:
Author's Note: I LIIIVEEE! AGAIN! Hehe, I'm so sorry for updating quite… late. I hope that this fic still takes your interest. The reason that I kinda… died… is because I had typhoid and had to be confined in the hospital for quite a time… plus, my computer crashed. Anyway… I hope that you all liked this chapter, despite Raven's… weirdness. But notice how she's not that fond of Richard anymore… I only see frustration there. Moochachacha! Oh RaeRob, here I come.
EvilWhiteRaven is still ever-so-wonderful!
Thank you my readers!
Chica De Los Ojos Café: Thanks for reviewing! I missed ya! How are you? I hope you liked this chappie! I hope that I can talk to you soon, I wanna ask something about Mi Vida Sin Tu Amor.
lunafan: Hello! Yes indeed! Victor knows everything! Victor knows more than the author… because, I have no idea what to do now! I hope you liked this chapter!
Tecna: TECNA:hugs: I updated! I hope you liked this chappie! I'll update again soon!
Teen Titans Obsessor: Thank you so much for your reviews and your PM's! I appreciate them so much! I hope you liked this chapter despite Raven's behavior, hehe. I'll update soon!
sailormoonrobinravengirl: Errr… I updated! Are you alright? I hope that you liked this chapter, hehe. Thank you so much for reviewing! Oh yeah, I hope that you'll like the preview below.
Violetx3: I'm so sorry for making you wait :cries: . This chapter is for you, hehe! I hope you liked it. I'll upload more chapters soon, don't worry.
AlyRaven: :waits for you to update:
EvilWhiteRaven: Hello my lovely beta-reader! I actually want to make Raven and Wally's relationship pace forward a bit… but it doesn't seem to fit Raven's character to just welcome Wally's affections with open arms… so WALA! I have this chapter, hehe. Poor Wally. And yes, I'm putting more RobRae because I want more highschool drama, lol.
Elven Dragon Rider: Hello! I hope you liked this chapter… well, I hope you read the chapter, hehe… :runs and searches for a not so secret hole in a not so secret tree: I'm not updating till I find your reainbowy delights!
Glil: Hi! Although there's not a lot of RaeWally interaction here… at we all get to know that Raven has affections for Wally too, right? I hope you liked this chapter.
WindJackal: Thank you so much for reviewing! I hope you liked this chapter! Actually, Wally doesn't need to tell her anymore, it's already obvious… as for Raven, it's obvious too that she's fond of him, right? I know, I unknowingly made Richard into such a jerk… but I'm working on his character, hehe.
Niol: Thanks for reviewing! And yes, RaeFlash is indeed an awesome alternate for RaeRob! I will update soon!
pinkprincess: Hello! Your reviews make me feel so happy! I'm so glad that someone likes this fic very much! Thank you! I hope this chapter satisfied your needs! I know there's no Wally action here, but there will be in the next chapter:grins:
otakualways: Hello! Awkward indeed… I wonder how they managed to still go to the mall together… hmmm… I should do a flashback on that… anyway, thank you for reviewing!
Ditzy: Yo! No Wally in pink shirt is disappointing, I know… and yes, there's no Wally action here. How I must disappoint you so. I'm sorry. Hehe, but I still hope that you liked this chapter. Thank you for reviewing!
HauntedWhisper714: Thank you so much for reviewing! Yes, almost all of the characters here have weird issues that you can't just help but to pity them… lol. I hope you liked this chapter! I will update again soon!
You'reJustJealousCozISoundLikeARockstar: Yo! I didn't want to feel your wrath; that's the reason why I updated. LOL! I will kill Wally:looks at you knife: actually… I won't; I can't kill him. If Garth doesn't get Garfield and Roy, then who will he get? HotSpot:pause: ooooh… :snickers:. So what now? Are you Roy's stalker or are you his bitchlovah?
Delirium24: Thanks for the review! I hope you liked this chapter… eventhough I myself found it to be boring, hehe.
FiliaofMortis: Yo! Hello! Oh man, I love your reviews, hehe. You must've found Raven's reactions saddening… but it fits her character, hehe. Hope you liked this chapter! Coconut festival is a festival where people dance in the streets wearing costumes made from coconut… there are also free food, alcohol or whatever drinks… oh yeah, free pie! PIE! Richard's mind… you will soon see in chapter 14! MOOCHACHACHA! And what made Raven go doe-eyed… I don't remember. Oh man, sugar! I love the sugary sweetness of sugar… I must have some… it might inspire me to write.
bb-and-raven-rock: Thank you so much! You review makes me so happy; I'm glad that you like this story despite the pairing! I will update really soon! Thank you so much!
Miyuki-chan: AHMAHGAH! LOL, I love that expression… I can't get over it. It reminds me of Foxxy Love from Drawn Together. I hope that you liked this chapter… eventhough Raven was thinking too much. Hehe, I actually like her thought-pattern here, it shows her character. Anyway. Thank you for reviewing!
Meria: Yay! Another SaB Wally fan! I can't decide whether Wally really wore pink or peach on their date… hehe. Raven sees it as pink and he sees it as peach. But Raven has more knowledge about colors as she is an artist here… so pink it is. What the… I'm rambling. Why do you hate Jinx? I hope you wouldn't mind me asking, hehe.
kosumi: Yes… Richard is a little twisted man. But you can't blame him, he just got the wrong perceptions in his observations. There will be more Wally-ness in the next chapter, I promise!
KFJinx+KFRaven: Your review flatters me, thank you very much. I'm glad that you also like RaeWally. Errr… there are tons of KFJinx for you to read, I suggest "Those Darn DoGooders" by… man… I forgot… but it's an amazing KFJinx, you should read it. Thank you for reviewing!
Platina: I love this pairing too! Let's be pairing-lover buddies! What the- I'm so sorry, I don't know why I typed that, hehe. Well, I guess it's obvious in this chapter that she's very fond of Wally, right?
lma: Poor Wally, I know. But he'll get what he deserves soon, hehe. Thank you so much for reviewing!
TreeMan: Oh my God! I'M SO SORRY! How could I forget your amazing reviews! I'm so sorry, it's just that I've been replying to the reviews in the latest chapter… I forgot that you reviewed my previous chapters… I'm so sorry, I love your reviews very much, I feel grateful for it. Anyway, Raven isn't really rejecting him… I'm not making it appear like that, am I?
Neilie: Thank you for reviewing! I've got a question for you… who should I pair Roy with? Cheshire, maybe? I have no idea. Hey! Who said that I wanted RobRae? I haven't built the RaeWally relationship for nothing, hehe. I'm still thinking whether I should put Linda or Donna… thank you for that suggestion, by the way, hehe!
Thank you for reviewing everyone! Please review again if you can!
Unbeta-d preview of Chapter 11
Chapter 11: Balisong
…Could she only love or like him as a friend?
… He'd deal with it.
But he would still hope…
Wally stretched, feeling tired from all the thinking. Standing up, he peered at their window and stared directly at the manor in front of him… the Roth manor.
He wished to see Raven… even just a shadow of the girl would be fine.
Yes… what a sad, sad disposition he was in.
His mother noticed this.
"Baby, if you want to see her so bad, go talk to her," Mrs. West said from behind her son.
Comments? Suggestions? Errr… anyone?