There was only so much time Suzuki could spend with Shiori.
It had never bothered him, before, spending time away from his wife. He had never really given much thought to being away from Masami, he had always known that she would have been there at the house for him when he was ready to come back. Masami had always been a part of the house, or the house had been a part of her. They had been inseparable. It had been his mistake, though, to think of her that way. Clearly she wasn't actually part of the house, clearly she could leave, and she had left. She had packed her bags…no, not even that…she had just left one day.
It was possible.
He rolled over on his side, his back protesting the entire way through. Shiori was there, sleeping on her side of the bed. Her hair was plastered to her face, her eyes were clenched shut, and she gripped her pillow in both hands. He wondered what she dreamt of. He had asked her, before, and she had said that she could never remember her dreams. It seemed like she was dreaming of something that was less than….less than optimal. He wanted to wake her, to rouse her from whatever self contained prison her mind had created, but he didn't have the strength to do so. He was weak, a weak man, and she had made him that way. She had made him weak with her love, her touch, her…her presence. She had made him need her and that was what made him weak.
But she liked it when he was weak.
She liked it enough that she had invited him into her home, her bed, countless times. They had spent another holiday together, another practice run for when they'd be able to start their lives together. He pulled the blanket up over her shoulders. He would let her sleep. Their practice run had come to an end. He was needed, in person, and in a place that he could not take her. There was a danger that came with being his wife, he knew it well. That was why bringing Masami with him on his travels had been out of the question. He had been doing more of the work of building up Claw back then, more of the dangerous sort of work, and she…and she was just a normal woman. She had been…was still. He doubted that she had spontaneously developed psychic powers…or that she had died.
He would have felt it, noticed it, if she had died.
There would have been some sense of it. She was alive…even though the world was vast and full of dangers. There were so many dangers to this world and he knew for a fact that she could not defend herself from all, or even some, of them. She wasn't like him, she wasn't an esper, she wasn't Shiori…he didn't want her to be Shiori…and he didn't want Shiori to be a thing like Masami.
He exorcised her from his mind.
He tried to. He had been trying, since she had left, to exorcise all thoughts of her from his mind. It was slow, bitter, work. At first she had consumed his every thought. Every moment of every day was dominated by the singular need to be beside her, to know that she was safe, to have her back at the house where she belonged. In that house, behind those walls, he could have protected her from every single danger that lurked…but she had left. She had left and she had taken a piece of him with her…and it had taken so long to get that piece back. It had happened so slowly. He went from thinking about her every second of every day to every few seconds…then every few minutes…..every few hours…every few days…until, of course, he came to the realization that she did not deserve his worry or his time. He had cared for her, loved her, but she…she hadn't returned his feelings. At some point her feelings towards him had changed and she had no interest in being married to him.
He had no idea why.
He wasn't going to entertain, even for a moment, Hatori's insane theory that Fukuda and Masami had been carrying on some sort of affair. He knew Tadashi, he had known Tadashi for most of his life, and he knew for a fact that Tadashi didn't have it in him. Why he had said that, confessed to it, Suzuki would never know. He knew Tadashi and he knew for a fact that Tadashi never would have betrayed him like that. Masami…he didn't know Masami at all. He knew that now. A man could freely admit when he was out of his depth, Father had said once, and that was what delegation was for. Father had been speaking, of course, of his workplace and not the intricacies of a romantic relationship…but it was still applicable…
He wondered if Father had ever been troubled in this way.
He didn't think that he had. Mother and Father had been very happy together, as was his recollection. They had never fought, never shouted, and never come to blows. Mother had always deferred to Father and Father had always done what he could to placate Mother, to make her happy. That was a man's role, after all, to take care of his family. To provide for them in every way that he could. If a man fulfilled his role, Father had said, then the woman had no reason to be unhappy. She had no reason to even think about leaving.
Suzuki had fulfilled his role.
He had provided her with a house, with money, and with children. There were three things that a husband absolutely had to provide and he had provided those three things without a word of complaint. Without any reason to complain. He had wanted to be with her after all. That was why he had dissuaded her from terminating Son…from terminating Sho. She had wanted to. She had thought that it would have been best for them. They had only been seeing each other for two weeks at that point, and they hadn't really known each other, though Suzuki hadn't cared. He had known that he was more than capable of providing for a family and that he cared for her more than any other human being on the planet. The next step had been simple.
He'd bought her a ring.
He pulled the blanket across Shiori's neck down. She wore her ring on a chain around her neck. She didn't like wearing it around her finger, she had said, because she was worried about her finger becoming degloved. A valid concern considering how much grappling she did when she fought…though she had no reason to fight. He was more than capable of protecting her, of keeping her safe. She was not Masami. She was as much a part of this world as he was and she was capable of defending herself, or at least holding off an attacker until he arrived to save her. More than Masami could have done…Tadashi had told him that he would have been better off marrying a female esper…but there were so few female espers…and it had felt like fate, almost, the way everything came into place with Masami…but it hadn't been fate, it had been statistics.
Just math.
He had made the choice to trust his own ability to read his body and not any form of contraception. He hadn't liked the way it felt, she didn't like the way birth control pills wreaked havoc on her moods, so they had tried their luck…and lost….and then Sho had been born. Shiori had a point when it came to contraception. Suzuki was already a father thrice over…fourfold over…he was a father fourfold over. It could have been fivefold…but no, that would not have gone well. There was something to be said for knowing the person that you were reproducing with. He hadn't known Masami well and she had left him…he hadn't known Pang Sujin well and he had left her…but he knew Shiori well and he knew that she would never leave him.
And he wouldn't leave her…not for long.
"Touichi…" muttered Shiori as she stirred. The blanket fell to her lap as she sat up. The neckline of her nightshirt had been displaced in the night, laying out a vast expanse of flesh for him to enjoy. Visually, of course, because he did not have the time right now and she most likely did not have the inclination. She seldom did at this early hour of the morning.
A pity.
"What're you doing?" yawned Shiori as she stretched. He tugged her shirt back into place with his powers. It was cold in here. Her comfort was worth more than his enjoyment.
"Fixing your clothing, it had become displaced in the night." Said Suzuki
"No, I mean why were you staring at me?" asked Shiori
"You…were awake this entire time?" asked Suzuki, his face turning red. He didn't have to turn and face her vanity table, he could feel it. There was always a sort of embarrassment when he got caught staring. He should have been stronger than that, than those base urges, both sexual and otherwise. He should have known better than to stare at her and imagine…imagine anything. He should have been stronger than that…but he was weak…but she liked him weak…
Some of the embarrassment began to subside, exercised by her acceptance and approval of him.
"No, I just know what it feels like when you stare at me. You woke me up, you know." said Shiori
"I apologize." Said Suzuki
"Don't apologize, sorries are cheap. Make it up to me." said Shiori
"How?" asked Suzuki. She just had to name her price. He didn't care what she wanted. He would walk to the ends of the Earth, even knock on the gates of hell, or even barter with the Gods to get it for her. She was perfect…some of her hair was in her mouth, he removed it for her…she was perfection….and she was his…
He was prepared to do anything to keep her. Anything.
"Breakfast." Said Shiori, pointing at her bedroom door. Suzuki didn't have to be told twice. He immediately got out of bed and got to it before she could make another 'king in the castle' remark. She always said that when she felt that he wasn't fulfilling his share of the domestic duties…though in his defense he'd never had domestic duties before. As a child it had all fallen to mother and as a married man it had all fallen onto his wife, and later his daughter, just the way things had always been.
Times were changing.
There had been a song Mother had enjoyed, well she had enjoyed many songs if her record collection had been anything to go off of, and the song had been about the changing times. Suzuki hadn't been able to understand it at the time, though of course a child wouldn't have been able to. He hadn't been alive long enough to see how the world had shifted, how quickly it could shift, how in the blink of an eye the roll you'd been born to fill could just…change, totally and completely.
Men bought the food and women cooked.
That was the way it had been when he'd been a child. Father had told him that men purchased, or provided the money to purchase, the food and women cooked it. Women took care of men and men provided for women…that was the way it had always been. Of course things were different now. He did not envy Hatori at all. At least when Suzuki had been his age, though he'd been no womanizer, he'd always known at least what his role was when it came to women. He hoped that Hatori stuck with men, they were really so much easier to deal with.
Though relationships with them weren't nearly as socially acceptable.
Suzuki got the eggs and butter from the refrigerator. He wondered, he allowed himself to wonder, who would have done the cooking between him and Tadashi. They had lived together in university but they had each been responsible for feeding themselves….relationships were different. He had always wondered how homosexuals decided who was the man and who was the woman. Hatori said that they took turns…that made sense…though Hatori wasn't the expert that Suzuki had seen him as in the beginning. He'd never been in any kind of a relationship, homosexual or heterosexual…or whatever the word was when you were seeing a they-person…nonbinary person….asexual person? No, no, no. That was something else entirely. Hatori wouldn't have known about any of that anyway, being completely devoted to a life of celibacy it seemed.
He was, in some ways, the more intelligent one out of the two of them.
If Suzuki hadn't felt the biological imperative to pair up and mate then he would have been a much happier man. He wouldn't have had felt the pain of Masami leaving and he wouldn't have felt the ache of losing…of leaving…of terminating his relationship with Tadashi…in some ways the pain was worse than losing Masami, since they'd been together…friends…companions, that was the word, for so much longer…the pain was nearly endless…
Like a burn.
Suzuki put up a barrier as he dropped the eggs into the pan. Too much butter. When there was that much butter then it tended to pop and land on his skin…not good. He heard the bedroom door close…not nearly done. Not nearly enough time. Shiori had barely given him enough time to cook and now she would be upset…pain. Preemptive pain…the idea that she would be upset with him…he didn't know why he put himself through this sometimes. At least his son, one of his sons, was smart enough to avoid this whole thing. Sho and Shigeko were not…but there may have still been hope for Mukai…
No, he needed his bloodline to live on.
So, really, Shigeko was the only one who should have been smarter than to…he scrambled the eggs with his powers. This would not be an omelet. He hadn't meant to, it had just happened. Shigeko brought out the worst in him. She was back with Shimazaki, against his orders, and…and there was nothing that he could do about it. Not unless he wanted to cause a rift in their relationship…more of one than had already formed…
He further scrambled the eggs.
"Thinking about your enemies?" asked Shiori as she leaned in and kissed his cheek.
"No, my children." Said Suzuki
"Yeah, I can see it. What's she done this time?" asked Shiori as she reached above him with her powers and brought two plates from the cabinets.
"Shigeko?" asked Suzuki as he finished off the eggs…not cooked enough, but this was the way that she liked them.
"Yeah, unless your youngest is giving your grief now." said Shiori
"Mukai is rambunctious but manageable. Shigeko…is normal, nothing out of the ordinary for her. I've been in a contemplative mood, I suppose…I don't much care for it, though." Said Suzuki as he put some eggs onto her plate. She reached onto the counter with her powers and began to salt her eggs…over salt them, in his opinion, but he wasn't the one who had to eat them.
"Well you know my opinion on Shigeko, and it hasn't changed, but she's not my child so I don't really get much of a say, now do I?" asked Shiori
"I thought that you didn't want one." Said Suzuki as he plated his own breakfast. He took both of their plates and carried them over to the living room with his powers, stopping once for ketchup. Eggs without ketchup were worse than no eggs at all.
"I don't, not about her…at least I think that I don't. I'm not going to tell you how to raise your child, since you won't listen to me anyway, and it doesn't matter so long as you don't pull any of this without our child." Said Shiori as she sat down. His eyes immediately jumped to her stomach. Her nightshirt was oversized…and he didn't even know what he had been looking for. He had been through this with Masami, he knew how long it took for a woman to show…and they had only gotten back to having regular intercourse not that long ago…there was her advanced age to take into account…and his as well…
He looked away from her.
"And don't look at me like that, you know that it's too early to tell…and anyway I'm not even sure if it was the right time. We can always try again next time…whenever I see you again. Whenever you can fit me into your busy schedule." Said Shiori, her fork scraping against her plate. The sound scared the cat away, it had been perched on top of the coffee table, though he knew that hadn't been her intention. He may not have been the best at reading expressions but he could read auras…and she was upset…
Not that he could blame her…these separations weren't easy on him, either.
"Come with me." said Suzuki
"To the airport? You know I can't. I've got money to collect. People have money to give their kids to waste for New Year but, for some reason, the concept of protection money eludes them." said Shiori
"No, I mean yes we would have to go to the airport, but I want to bring you to Australia with me, then China, then Russia, then Argentina and wherever else I need to go. I want-" said Suzuki
"Touichirou, this isn't going to…you know that I can't come with so why even bring it up? You know that I'm not going to give my life up for you, so why even ask me to? And why this early in the morning?" asked Shiori, her fork scraping her plate again. That time the fish in the tank beside her, she had called them rice fish though they did not eat rice, swam to the other side of their tank…most likely that had not been her intention.
"Because…because I don't enjoy being apart from you and you don't enjoy being apart from me, but I know you won't come with. I apologize for upsetting you." said Suzuki
"It's fine, it's life. This is the life we've chosen for ourselves, the lives, so…it's too early for this, alright? I love you, I'll be here when you get back, and any of those other things that you need to be reassured of." Said Shiori before she leaned in and kissed him…he tried to feel reassured…but there was a part of him that worried.
He did his best to exorcise that part.
This was the last year he was going to have to live like this. He was nearly done collecting the funds and manpower he would need to take over the world…so long as Shigeko didn't hemorrhage any more money or shift any more people around…he would have to check the books later. If she hadn't done a thing to impede him then he could reach his goal by his birthday, hers at the latest, Hatori's if something had really gone wrong…but it wouldn't. He was nearly done…it would nearly begin. The ending was just the beginning again…and he was ready for it…and then when that day came he would finally have the time to do what he wanted to, needed to, do.
He would have the time to spend countless breakfasts, all meals, with Shiori…and their family. Him, Shiori, Hatori, and Tetsuro…though Shiori disliked that name.