Chapter 29 - The everyday Bazar
(No, I didn't spell it incorrectly. Pun alert, bizarre bazar.)
(MPOV)
I opened my eyes as the plane turned, losing altitude.
"You can sleep another hour," Optimus rumbled softly in my ear.
"I do that and I'll be groggy," I laughed softly. "Don't ask me why, I didn't plan it."
"Something like that makes me glad I'm an auto-bot." Optimus rumbled in my ear.
"What's it like, anyway?" I asked curiously, rolling onto my back and looking at the holoform. "I mean, you've managed to do a fair replication of a human form, and you mentioned that it's capable of processing tactile information. The lot of you can 'smell' or at least you're capable of picking up pheromones and the like. But what's it like to transform? To have a visible spark instead of a carbon based neural system?"
Optimus looked thoughtful.
"The tactile information is... similar," he rumbled musingly. "Or rather, we process it similarly. I do not know how to describe transforming... there is no... precedent. I just simply... Do. To have a spark is at times a terrifying, fragile thing. Without it I am a pile of metal, with it I am alive. What is it like to have a soul?" he asked me in an amused tone.
"I didn't know until we tried that experiment with the splinter," I said musingly. "Ever since I touched it really. I can feel..." I trailed off, thinking.
"Kae?"
"It's like I can feel the energon touch every cell in my body, Icy cold and burning hot at the same time, feel and understand each and every single cell's needs. A need for another molecule of nutrients, another piece of dioxide to bind a carbon molecule to for expulsion. A cell's death and subsequent replacement. Billions upon billions of times over. But... but I shouldn't be able to feel it," I looked at Optimus. "At times it's like I've got several billion processes running at the same time without enough memory space to quantify it. Like I'm examining myself from the inside out, then once I understood it, it became an automatic reflex again. But I can still feel it. Hell, sometimes I could swear I could control it." I lifted up a hand and lightly rubbed my fingers together, feeling the swirl of burning coolness ripple beneath.
"You are," Optimus rumbled interestedly. "You are actually controlling the energon in your system. Do that again."
I rubbed my fingers together and felt the swirl grow stronger, a tiny spark jumped between thumb and forefinger as I stopped. I let loose a tiny yelp, shaking my hand.
"My hand's gone numb," I chuckled. Optimus shook his head. "Are you okay?" I asked worriedly, looking at his pensive expression.
"Your hand has gone numb and you're worried about me?" Optimus looked down at me in amusement. "Why do I get the feeling you'd ask the same if I were frowning and you were bleeding to death?" He frowned, "you already did that."
I snorted.
"In fairness you'd had a grappling hook in your shoulder, cannon blast to the chest and fought three 'cons off to protect me." I chuckled. The plane landed with a light thump.
"Ladies and gentlemen let me be the first to welcome you on this glorious October day to Washington D.C." The pilot announced cheerfully. "Those of you who wish to go shopping should disembark first, the rest of us will wait here until you're done."
"Okay so I should probably go sit with the boys until you're finished," I shot at Optimus, smirking lightly at him.
"Nice try," he grinned, I could hear the click of his doors locking.
"Oh that's playing dirty!" I half-shouted, giving his holoform a light shove.
"And claiming I had kidnapped you is playing clean?" Optimus grinned, tackling me and tickling my ribs lightly. I squealed and fought him off, finally managing to wrestle the holoform onto his back and sitting on him.
"Cheater guts," I grinned. He audibly got into gear and drove out of the plane. I stood up and made my way to the passenger seat and noticed something. "Oi! Lemme out! I gotta get my shoes!" I protested.
"We'll get you new ones," Optimus rumbled cheerfully.
"You should be spending your money on good quality fuel, oil, filters and wax. Not on my shoes!" I exclaimed irritably.
Optimus snorted, desperately fighting back a laugh.
"What!?" I demanded.
"Do you realize just how difficult it is to use a holoform to polish your own armour?" Optimus demanded through a grin. "I haven't had a decent waxing in vorns!"
"Well then we're getting some decent Carnuba and pads on the way," I stated firmly. I could hear an entirely different sort of hum in Prime's spark, I glanced over to see his holoform wrestling with his expressions. I frowned, memorizing the sound and cross-referencing it with the sounds Bee and Ratchet made. Nothing. I pursed my lips and thought of something.
"What does it feel like to have your armour waxed?" I asked musingly. The hum increased in volume just the tiniest bit. It wasn't irritation, I knew that one already.
"Like a massage," Optimus murmured. "A decent waxing is like having a full body massage, better when we are not in disguise."
We sat in silence for a moment.
"Oh lord I'm embarrassing you!" I said suddenly.
Optimus snorted.
"Not even close," he rumbled, Arcee, Flare and Chromia passing us on the highway. "Although if you do not stop talking about wax I might embarrass myself."
I looked at the holoform curiously. He glanced at me.
"Maintaining each other is a form of intimacy," he explained calmly, smiling at me. "Bumblebee considers you to be a big sister, even if he is literally twenty-eight times your size. Every time you took care of him it was like having a sister looking out for him. He spent an entire month bragging about just how awesome his big sister is."
I couldn't help the gentle smile that tugged at my lips.
"He's such a sweet kid," I murmured, "Bumblebee turned out well, even if the war took his childhood."
Optimus' spark began resonating curiosity. I looked at him.
"By human reckoning, Bee's still a teenager right?" I smiled, "he plays about in an unguarded moment, but he spends a lot of time acting the part of a grown bot, he's already shouldered the responsibility of being a scout."
Optimus' holo turned to look at me incredulously. The curiosity almost becoming a full out hum.
"Let me guess," I grinned, "I'm the first human who's figured out that Ratchet and Ironhide are both older than you by a good measure?"
"Fear your ninja skills indeed," Optimus murmured wryly, pulling into an enormous parking lot and into the spots Arcee's holoform was guarding. The femme almost dragged me from the cab.
"About time you guys got here!" she exclaimed cheerfully.
"It is not my fault you are a scrapping daemon for speed," Optimus rumbled good naturedly, locking his doors and throwing his holoform's arm across my shoulders. We trouped into the mall where security promptly stopped me.
"Excuse me, Miss?" the man said politely, "you need to wear shoes in the mall."
"The airport stole my shoes," I lied tiredly, casually affecting an aussi accent. "Lost my luggage, stole my shoes. Welcome to America."
"Baby, don't worry about it," Optimus murmured, leaning down and kissing my temple. "Shoes are the first stop, c'mere." he promptly picked me up and tossed me onto his shoulders as I squealed in surprise, flailing my arms for balance.
"Oh put me down you great prat!" I laughed helplessly.
"No walking until we get you shoes," he chuckled. "If we may?" he looked at the amused guard politely.
"Man, you need to tell me how to do that," the guard finally laughed. "If I could get my girl to laugh like that I'd be in heaven."
"Remind her everyday that you love her, if she likes surprises surprise her. Does she save up to get you big things, or does she do the little things that you barely notice?"
"Little things," the guard said with wide eyes.
"Call her on your break today, and bring her home a rose tomorrow." Optimus said with a small smile, his hand lightly squeezed my knee.
"How do you know all this?" the guard asked in shock.
"How do you know you are in love?" Optimus rumbled, looking up at me. I proceeded to blush furiously.
"When all the songs start making sense," I replied softly. I uncoiled my legs and planted my hands on Optimus' shoulders, lowering myself lightly to sit coiled on his back, my arms wrapped lightly over his shoulders and his hands warm on my knees as the guard grinned and gestured for us to carry on.
"You two are just so gods damned cute!" Chromia laughed as Arcee and Flare scurried off toward some goal or another. She gave my arse a light smack.
"If you think you're gonna get away with that you've got another think coming!" I laughed, squirming slightly to try and reach her. Optimus hitched me up slightly on his hips and I quickly grabbed onto his shoulder again. "You wait until I have shoes and then you have another think coming!" I amended. Chromia and Optimus both laughed. The holoforms walked straight past my usual shoe place. Inexpensive.
"Oi! Shoes!" I said indignantly, turning around to watch the receding shoe store.
"There's a better one down here," Chromia grinned.
"What, cheaper than payless?" I asked interestedly.
"No, better," Optimus rumbled with a broad grin, walking into a store that smelled of well oiled leathers rather than rubber.
"Optimus a pair of the shoes in here costs two weeks wages for me!" I whispered in a horrified voice as Chromia spotted a pair and squealed, holding up a pair of absolutely mouthwatering stilettos. Strappy, simple, silver blue gorgeous.
"You need to get these!" she said in a commanding tone.
"Where the hell would I wear them!?" I demanded.
"You can wear them today!" Chromia grinned.
"Incorrigible, the both of you," I sighed, burying my face in Optimus' neck as the sales lady walked toward us.
"Is there anything I can help you with today?" she asked cheerfully.
"Yes!" Chromia said with a grin. "My sister-in-law-to-be just got off the plane. The airport lost her luggage and stole her shoes. We need new stuff stat!"
"Oh you poor dear!" the older lady said with raised eyebrows, "here, I'll get you some nylons and we'll find you something good!" the dear woman puttered off and was back in seconds as Optimus set me down on the chair. I pulled the stockings on with a resigned sigh as Chromia grinningly handed me the shoes. I strapped them on and stood easily, walking around with the strut such a shoe demanded.
"SEE!" Chromia laughed, "perfect shoe!" I sighed and caved.
"Yes, they're a perfect shoe, but that does not negate the fact that they cost..." I stood on one foot and arched my leg around, catching my ankle in my hand and turning my head to look at the price tag. "Okay, five days wages." I said patiently.
"I'm going to buy them just to watch you do that again," Chromia said seriously. I rolled my eyes as she turned to the sales lady. "We'll take those, now, let's see what else ooh!" she snatched up a cute pair of wedges. "Here we go, everyday wear!"
"Chrome I work on trucks!" I said in exasperation, "Everyday wear are steel toed boots! If I were a model posing for a calender then they'd be everyday wear, but I actually do the work! Can you imagine getting axle grease off of those!"
"Sis you gotta lighten up!" Chromia giggled. "Go on, try them on!"
"I don't do wedges," I sighed, sitting down, taking off the stilettos and accepting the second pair of shoes. "All the extra material throws me off my balance."
"True," Chromia nodded, she spied a pair of low gladiators instead. She held them up.
"Better," I grinned. She handed them to me then covered my hands.
"Kae don't look at the price," she said firmly, "if you're going to be part of our family you need to learn that quality is what counts."
I closed my eyes and sagged in defeat, slipping the shoes on and walking around in them. They were perfect. I sighed as much and turned to see a hidden pair of shoes practically screaming at me. Terrifyingly high brushed steel stiletto, rich blue straps that would wind up my calves like flames, red soles. I stared.
"Damn girl, you've got some serious taste!" Chromia whispered, standing beside me.
"I couldn't!" I whispered.
"Try them! Try them now!" she demanded.
"We have a clearance sale on today," the sales lady stated brightly, "buy two, get the third pair half off and the fourth for free."
"Sit!" Chromia commanded immediately, pulling down a box and following me back toward where Optimus was waiting with a small smile. "Optimus close your eyes!"
The holoform raised an eyebrow but obeyed.
Chromia glanced at him for a second then grabbed a piece of paper and pen, scribbling a note for me to read.
'Wearing his colours would be the ultimate compliment to him' she gave me a gentle look and added a final few words.'something he truly needs about now.'
My eyes widened, I rolled up my jeans quickly and slid the shoes on, standing and walking around in them. They felt so absolutely perfect. Made for me.
"I'll take these, even if I don't get anything else I'll take these," I said firmly. Chromia beamed at me.
"Do I get to look yet?" Optimus asked with a low laugh.
"Yes you do," Chromia grinned.
He looked at me, then at the shoes, he went pale before slowly flushing.
"Are they okay?" I asked in a soft, worried tone.
"They're perfect," he smiled gently, his eyes already a rich cerulean.
"So what all would you like then?" the lady asked cheerfully. Chromia looked at me with a grin.
"So these three, what for a fourth pair?"
"Do you have a second pair of these?" I asked curiously holding out a foot.
"We absolutely do," the lady winked. Out of the corner of my eye, Optimus stood a bit straighter, his shoulders back.
We were rung through in minutes.
"Could I borrow a pair of scissors?" I asked politely. The lady smiled and produced a pair of nail clippers.
"Do it again!" she grinned. I laughed and extended my foot to her, standing firm and solid an extra four inches above the ground. She clipped the tags.
"D'you mind if I get a picture of you doing that backward one? My granddaughters will never believe me if I don't." she smiled.
"Just don't put me on the net please," I laughed, "How about I one up that?" I leaned forward, brought my leg up into an overextended split and caught my calf, bending backwards so that my head just barely brushed my knee. The lady snapped a few quick photos as Chromia bust a gut at Optimus' expression.
"Right! Clothes!" Chromia sang, looping the bag onto her elbow and linking her arm in mine. I laughed and shook my head, glancing at my watch. The entire shoe escapade had taken all of twenty minutes.
The clothes took even less time, jeans, shorts, and a few shirts, Chromia finally caving into my insistence that I'd be wearing tanks and fatigues on base, but I still got the little red dress that Optimus was staring at.
I couldn't help but smile at the young sales girl though, about my size who continually stared at my shirt and worn jeans.
"Oh, My, God where did you get those?" she finally asked enviously at the till. "I need those for the bedrock-zombie concert tonight!"
"These?" I asked with a laugh, "I can't even remember. The T was salvation army a million years ago, I just cut it up. And the jeans started out a dark blue and un-stained. You can have them if you want."
"Seriously!" The girl shrieked, she bolted forward and swung me into a hug. "Oh my god! Hey 'Nita! 'Nita can I give her a family discount!?"
"What? So you can trade clothes?" a heavily pierced lady laughed, looking over her shoulder, she glanced at my clothes and grinned. "Yeah go for it. That's an awesome look for our zombie night."
"Right, so everything will be thirty percent off after tax," the girl grinned. "Oh my god you're amazing!"
I laughed and grabbed the outfit I'd intended to wear out.
"If you'll run these through I'll change into them. Or better yet, c'mon, before you spend a family discount on a complete stranger you should try them on."
We scurried into the back, I had to admit, the clothes looked far better on her.
"Hey 'Nita! What do you think!?" the girl shouted, scampering out and striking a pose. I walked out a bit more sedately, enjoying the hug of the practically tailored blue jeans.
"I think, that that demands an employee discount. You are so getting us laid tonight." 'Nita said seriously, she walked to the till and typed in a code. A hundred became fifty.
"You're kidding!" I said in shock.
"Pays to be awesome," 'Nita grinned at me, accepting the card from a laughing Optimus.
"Clothes shoes-" Chromia began, Arcee and Flare waved at us from the door. "Makeup check, to the lingerie!"
"Thank you," I smiled at the ecstatic young woman, collecting my bag. She grinned and waved, on her way to the changing rooms to get her work clothes back on.
I fairly flew through the lingerie shop, picking out my usual bold colours and haunting the sales tables. Silver, blue, black. Three bras and nine pairs of panties.
"Three and nine?" Optimus asked curiously.
"Three bras, and three pairs of matching panties for each," I smiled up at him. "Let's get out of here."
"Why? We have another hour before we need to be back," he rumbled with a grin, the girls followed me, giggling and chatting quietly.
"Because," I shot him a wicked smirk of my own, fully intending on getting my revenge. I set my bags down and strutted toward him, grasping the front of his shirt and pulling him down. "There's an automotive shop on the way back, and I want to pick up some proper... cleaning supplies." I murmured in his ear, dropping my tone to a sultry level.