Chapter 37 - A Guardian and his Reliant
(MPOV)
The hammock strung up between two posts and swathed with mosquito netting was positively luxurious, and the soft vibrations from the resting Auto-bots twenty feet away was comforting. Bee was sleeping soundly, the light of the moon crept dimly through the tent entrance, shining off the pale sand and lighting up the desert in stark greys.
I couldn't sleep. I sighed quietly then shrugged, allowing myself a small smile. Two of the jeeps needed an oil change, and that de-activated Decepticon needed to be stripped for parts. Quiet work. I rose and padded quietly to my work area.
The golden light of the lanterns reached into the starkness with a soft caress as I turned them up carefully and turned my music on low, tucking the MP3 player into a pocket and keeping the wires out of the way.
Oil poured into the pans quickly as the filters came off, funnelled into barrels automatically. Clean filters in, bolts back, and clean oil to the top. I logged the serial numbers and mileage, then checked for anything else that needed to be done. The hoods closed with soft clicks. I wiped my hands off carefully and turned to the servo. Hundreds of tiny bolts, carefully sorted. Wiring, piping, long cords of neural fibres, plates of living metal. All carefully removed and bagged for Ratchet's inspection. Memory chips for Optimus to work on.
A guitar began playing in my ears, a familiar song.
'This time, this place, misused, mistakes, too long too late who was I to make you wait? Just one chance, just one breath, just in case there's just one left. 'Cause you know, you know you know. I love you, I loved you all along, and I miss you, been far away for far too long. I keep dreaming, you'll be with me and you never know, stop breathing if I don't see you anymore..."
"Kae, what are you doing awake?" Optimus' voice murmured softly as I set aside another carefully wrapped memory chip.
"Cold," I murmured quietly, turning to look at the holoform with a shrug. "It never seems to matter how many blankets I wrap around myself, I can't seem to stay warm at night. I'm sorry, I didn't wake you did I?"
"Not really, no," the holo smiled gently, touching my shoulder. He began idly rubbing warmth into my arms. I sighed and relaxed into the familiar touch. His arms wrapped lightly around me, and I instinctively leaned into the incredible warmth of the holoform.
'On my knees, I'll ask, last chance for one last dance. 'Cause with you, I'd withstand, all of hell to hold your hand. I'd give it all, I'd give for us, give anything but I won't give up 'cause you know...'
"Come for a drive with me?" he asked gently.
"Of course," I said softly, walking toward the quietly rumbling truck. The music on my headphones quietly picked up on his speakers, making me smile.
'I love you, I loved you all along,'
"I did wake you," I said quietly.
"I woke and heard your music," Optimus corrected.
"Sorry," I murmured contritely.
"Hush, I had to link to your iPod just to hear the words," he chuckled, driving out into the dunes again. I sighed contentedly and curled into the seat, leaning tiredly against his window. The cliffs looked entirely different in the moonlight. So secret and hidden.
"When was the last time you slept?" Optimus asked softly as the passenger door shut behind me, he transformed and sat carefully.
"Slept or rested?" I asked in a weary tone, sitting carefully on his proffered hand. "I sleep a few hours every night."
"When did you last sleep and wake rested?" he asked calmly, depositing me on his leg.
"The first two nights I spent on base," I murmured, leaning against him tiredly. "I don't know what happened, I felt so safe, alert those first two days, and then it just slowly faded, as if it had been the most beautiful dream."
"What did you dream?"
"That I was completely surrounded by light, love and warmth that seemed to touch my soul." I sighed, scooting down slightly to lay down on his thigh. "And your presence, somehow, as though the light was you, bringing me back. Keeping me safe."
"It was," Optimus sighed, "I am sorry."
"For what?" I murmured, tilting my head back slightly to look at him.
"I placed you in my spark chamber, I... interfaced with you without your consent."
"It was you," I murmured, pressing closer to him. "You were the light holding me away from the darkness," I looked up at him with a small smile. "But then I suppose you still are."
Tentatively, a giant hand reached up and lightly caressed my cheek. I leaned into his touch, running my hands along the chinks in his armour. A delicate shudder ran through his frame. I looked up worriedly.
"I'm sorry, am I hurting you?" I asked in quiet concern.
"Your hands are so gentle," he rumbled softly, "it feels so good..."
"It's not distasteful for you?" I asked carefully, turning around to look at him properly.
"I welcome it," he looked down at me gently, still tentatively caressing my cheek and waist. I rose and reached up, lightly running my hands beneath the plates of his abdomen, feeling the warmth of the living metal beneath. A rough patch caused Optimus to wince, I looked up at him worriedly, recognizing the badly healed scar by touch.
"That came from the same blast that killed Elita," He stated, his gaze a million miles away. Looking into a past more distant than the rise and fall of the old Earth civilizations.
"You love her," I said gently.
"My spark-bound," he sighed, returning to the present, "some wounds never heal."
"All wounds heal in time," I protested softly, "if we let them." I could feel the hesitation in the rate his air out-takes blew softly, in the very vibrations of his cooling fans. I pulled my shoes off and climbed barefoot up his chest, coming to sit lightly on his shoulder in a companion's silence. Waiting.
"How do humans fit so much into a tiny frame?" Optimus finally murmured.
"Many of us lie," I said quietly, leaning against his cheek. "We tell ourselves that there is only so much space in our hearts to love. Or the imperialists will say that our emotions are nothing more than a wash of hormones, triggered by instinct and synapses." I looked at him with a small smile. "But do you store all of your love and compassion in your radiator pump?"
Optimus snorted in spite of himself.
"Point," he rumbled, chuckling.
"Your love is held in your spark," I smiled at him gently, turning slightly to look up at the stars, extraordinarily bright in such a dry atmosphere. "You can scan it, gauge the amount of Energon that runs through you, but emotions can't be measured. They're eternal, ethereal, surpassing even death."
I heard the low whoosh of a rapid intake of air. But louder, the hum of his spark.
"Optimus," I said quietly, turning to look at him seriously. "Love is meant to make us strong. If Elita was a Femme truly worthy of your spark, she would not want you to continue bearing such scars to weaken you. Letting go of the pain of loss doesn't mean you'd be letting go of her. Anymore than you'll love another the same way you love her." I reached up hesitantly and caressed his cheek as he had mine.
"How do you know?" he murmured, carefully turning to look at me fully.
My breath hitched slightly, but we were honest with each other.
"I share the feeling with her," I murmured softly, "I know you'll live far longer than I ever will, I want you to. To live, to love, to never lose the incredible compassion and soul that define who you are. Beyond being Prime. You're so much more than that, and when I go, I want you to take my love with you."
"What am I beyond being a Prime?" he asked, a barely recognizable tone of bitterness, of desperation beneath the eternally calm voice.
"You're Optimus," I said calmly, my eyes never flinching from his optics. "You are a Prime, yes, perhaps the last Prime, but that will never define who you are. You are first and foremost Optimus. Power means nothing without love. And you are loved Optimus, loved as a father, a friend, a leader. You command loyalty with love and trust, something that Megatron will never be capable of." I finished firmly, then looked back at the stars.
We sat in silence, watching the stars for a long time.
"How do you make that definition?" Optimus finally asked.
"Gladly do I respect and give deference to Prime," I said quietly, feeling as though I were quoting something, "but Optimus is the one I laugh with, argue with even though I know you're probably right. Not always," I added quickly, shooting a teasing grin at him. "But most of the time. Prime is my commander, Optimus is the bot I love, mystical leader of a race of autonomous robotic organisms or not." I leaned in and kissed his faceplate lightly, about as close to his lips as I could reach before sliding down his chest to land somewhat more heavily than I'd intended on the ground.
"Come back here, I am not done with you yet," Optimus growled, I could hear his smile before I even turned around.
"Is that an order Optimus?" I grinned up at him, lightly ducking away from his reaching hand. He snorted and cupped his hands, boxing me in.
"No," he rumbled, a low chuckle betraying the serious tone.
A couple of quick running steps and I was sitting delicately beside his upraised thumb, wrapping an arm around the digit for support.
"So what did you actually want to talk about?" I asked, leaning a trusting cheek against the pad of his thumb.
"Ratchet has been on my bumper non-stop..." Optimus trailed off with a small frown.
"Asking you when you're going to safely lower the levels of energon floating around in my system?" I looked at him in amusement.
He stared at me in silence.
"You know, I thought I was going insane all over again when I heard the two of you talking and no one else was paying attention. Took me forever to figure out that Ratchet had linked my iPod. It's not polite to talk in Cybertronian at sub-audio levels." I gave him a mockingly stern look then laughed. "You know how much Ratchet loves meddling."
Optimus reached up and rubbed his brow in mild irritation.
"Sorry," I added contritely, hugging his thumb a bit more tightly.
"Eventually that bot is going to meet his match, I just hope I am around to laugh at his frustration at dealing with himself." Optimus grumbled. I stared at him and began laughing helplessly.
"So is there any particular reason that Ratchet is constantly shoving the two of us together?" I asked with a smile, and admittedly, a touch of hope. "Primus sake you must realize just how difficult it is to properly offend me." I added quietly.
"Mikaela you are a riddle wrapped in an enigma," Optimus said chidingly, "It is as though you enjoy being difficult to understand."
"I knew you were intelligent," I teased him gently, smiling.
"You do?" he looked down at me incredulously.
"It's the thrill of the game," I grinned, "if men understood women, they'd take them for granted. But a male ego is such a fragile thing, sometimes you need to chase them for a while before you let them catch you."
"If you don't want to be understood, why explain?" Optimus teased me lightly.
I lapsed into silence.
"Kae?"
"I don't know why," I murmured, "Sometimes... sometimes I find myself wanting to be caught for once. To have an understanding with someone." I snorted, "it's proper etiquette to quietly learn if said male is available for the chasing of course." I glanced at Optimus for a second before shyly returning my gaze to the stars.
"I am," Optimus rumbled softly, "and I would appreciate it if you would allow me to catch you."
I looked at him in shock for a long second before reaching for him. He carefully held me against his chest plates. I clung to him.
"Would you touch my spark?" he asked, voice barely above a whisper, "I want you to rest again." I smiled up at him and climbed into his chest plates; running my fingers lightly along his spark chamber and drawing a keening moan from him.
"Tell me what you like," I crooned softly, tracing the engravings over the warm, pulsing crystal and steel. My fingers passed over a rough patch on his frame, an un-tended crack. Symbols began to dance lazily in front of my eyes as a cool flush of energon swirled through me. Light flickered in my fingers, shining a fiery red through the flesh. Instinct guided my hands as I lightly passed over the wound, watching it seal itself flawlessly as Optimus moaned.
"Primus that feels good," he whispered.
"Down," I murmured quietly.
"Is that an order?" Optimus murmured with a low snort.
"Does it have to be?" I laughed softly, gently kissing his chamber. He groaned and obediently laid back, the chinks in his armour loosening somewhat. I began making my way along his frame, smoothing welding scars, sealing tears until I reached the one in his abdomen. I touched the uppermost edge and froze.
"Optimus?" I asked softly. His holo flickered in front of me, face indecisive. "I won't heal it if you aren't ready," I whispered gently.
We stared at each other in silence for a long, pregnant moment. Finally, his holoform reached out and lightly took my hand.
"All wounds heal in time," he murmured, pressing my palm against the scar.
The energon flowing through my system began to dance, seeping into the depths of the gash and sealing it, as though it had never been there. Optimus' holoform groaned simultaneously with his metal body, dragging me close and pressing his forehead to mine.
"Don't stop, please don't stop," he moaned softly as I began lightly stroking the now rapidly healing gash. A final flash of blinding light and a well-healed, smooth scar lay beneath my hand.
"Mikaela," he whispered softly, the hands of his holoform delicately running through my hair as he held my forehead to his.
I pulled back slightly, reaching up to cup his cheek as I looked up into his earnest blue eyes. He carefully began to draw me toward his spark chamber, the tentative touch of his hands speaking louder than words. 'Only if you want to.'
"You're so soft," he whispered, a hand straying to stroke the skin around my stomach.
"Your holoform is generated by your optics isn't it?" I murmured, pressing the length of my body against the avatar for a moment. I pinned his hands to my waist
"It is," he looked down at me with amused curiosity.
"So with that being the case," I purred, slowly sliding his hands up to my ribcage, his hands pushing my shirt higher. "You've just redefined undressing me with your eyes."
Optimus froze and stared at me before breaking down into a deep throated chuckle. A powerful arm wound around my waist, drawing me close against the heat and pressing a bruisingly powerful kiss to my lips. I melted into him as he slid my shorts off my hips, once again drawing me toward his spark. He pulled back and looked down at me with an unspoken question.
I gave him a gentle smile and leaned backward, propped bare-arsed against the chamber as gentle hands pushed my shirt over my head. I reached behind myself and flicked the clasp open on my bra, letting it slip off easily. The next second I felt a tingling warmth flash across my skin, as though I'd rolled in snow before jumping into warm water. I gasped, arching into that touch as it pulled me first against Optimus' spark, then directly into it.
My eyes opened to the dream again, blinding, blue-white light surrounded me, touched my skin, passed gently through me.
::. Mikaela.:: Optimus' voice sounded in my mind.
"Optimus," I whispered back, arching slowly and reaching out to run my hands along the fibres of light.
::. Oh Primus.:: he groaned ::. You feel so good.::
More of the tendrils of light reached toward me, tickling, stroking, caressing, burning, leaving no part untouched. I gasped as it pressed into my skin, seeking the energon in my system, seeking my spark. It raced across my nerves, sending thrills of pleasure to every sensitive place. Heat began building in my chest, shooting down into a powerful awareness of the centre of creation.
"Don't stop, oh gods Optimus, please don't stop," I begged, my voice hardly more than a whimper.
He chuckled, the vibrations shooting through my senses, teasing them to an even higher sensitivity.
::. You are beautiful when you beg.:: he rumbled silently, the tendrils reaching deeper into my body until they just barely caressed my very soul.
"Only when I beg?" I murmured teasingly. Instantly I felt Optimus' chagrin. His spark coalesced into his avatar in front of me... mostly... his form and shape, if not his colour.
"I..." Optimus started, speaking aloud. The look on his face was priceless.
I couldn't help it, I began giggling softly.
"You really can't help but think that you've offended me," I murmured, reaching out and running my hands gently along the light. The hum of his spark spoke of confusion now. "I'll tell you what," I murmured, pressing myself against his spark. "You promise to tell me when you're uncomfortable with something, if you don't like it, I'll stop. And I'll make the same promise to you."
Optimus had been kind enough to provide me with a rather excellent human form, I began exploring his spark's 'body'; seeking and exploring every sensitive point on the human form.
::. Oh Primus lower.:: he rumbled a second later, pressing tightly against me. His hands slid up to begin kneading my muscles, I moaned softly, obeying his desire and began working my way across his body, finding the places that made him really hum.
::. Is this how you play, my Kae?.:: he rumbled softly, I could hear his smirk.
"I prefer to think of it as a learned skill," I murmured into his spark. "Something that I absolutely adore practicing and improving at every available chance."
"I am so glad to hear that," Optimus growled, I could feel the vicious grin on his face, the heat and passion in his voice beyond measure as he dove into my soul.
I couldn't hold back my own reflexes, writhing under his touch, beyond words. Crying out softly at the sensation of being filled absolutely. My senses came fully online, images of Cybertron before the war flashed through my mind, the smell of energon, heat and electricity, pure and sweet, untainted by anger. I could feel Optimus' struggle to hold back.
"Come on, Optimus, don't hold back overload on me," I whispered, undulating in the warmth and emotion. The light became intense, a brilliant flash of white, time slowed to nothing as we merged. I could feel my... spark, my soul reach for him. Tentatively touch his. I could feel his loss, more than simply a spark-bonded, every spark he had lost he remembered, every life he had had to take endlessly clawing at him. I reached for him, the movement instantly becoming conscious as I pressed against him, supporting him, wanting to caress away the hurt.
~Mikaela~ his voice whispered in my very soul.
~Optimus~ I whispered back, opening my eyes. He stood before me, a head taller, I reached toward him with delicate, silvery hands and caressed his face. He bent down and kissed me lightly, the metal plates clicking gently. He pulled me tightly to his chest, we rocked slowly, each offering comfort to the other. Supporting each other. I breathed in his warm scent and closed my eyes, relaxing into him completely and revelling in his presence until sleep finally claimed me for her own.
(OPOV)
Optimus felt the tiny, enormous spark drift into a recharge cycle. Loathe to part with her now... or ever... he onlined his optics and transformed into his truck form, his spark chamber integrating itself into his sleeper, the hyper-sensitive neural fibres weaving themselves into an enveloping hammock.
He glanced around himself and noted with a small smile her shoes laying in the sand. He picked them up and quietly deposited them in his cab.
Mikaela shifted slightly in her sleep, the hammock rocking gently as he drove, sending a pleasant thrill through his processors.
It was a fairly short drive, and within minutes he was safely parked beside Ratchet. A soft hum and light snores indicated that Ironhide and Chromia had drifted into their recharge cycles with their sparks completely interwoven again. Optimus couldn't help a small smile. No doubt if they came under attack Ironhide would be the first one awake, shielding Chromia as she protected everyone else. He murmured a response to Ratchet's half-alert inquiry and drifted into his own cycle.
(RPOV)
Ratchet onlined the second he heard his assistant padding through the sand to her workstation. An instant's calculation stated she had slept for two point one hours, and a scan showed that she'd received no rest from it. A worrisome level of adrenaline seemed to be powering the little carbon unit at this point.
::. Prime.:: he sent the communication silently so as to not disturb the others.
::. Ratchet?.:: the worried transmission came back.
::. It's your turn to take care of her, I'm recharging.:: Ratchet stated smugly, he shut down communication, looking for all intents and purposes as though he'd gone back to sleep. He kept his sensors active, listening to the communication between Optimus and Mikaela. The music she was listening to was a nice touch, Ratchet thought. Optimus was a smooth player when he wanted to be. In minutes Mikaela was walking toward the enormous Peterbuilt and climbing up into the Prime's cab. They drove off as quietly as Optimus could manage, surprisingly low considering his size.
"About time," was Ratchet's last thought before he slipped into a proper recharge cycle.
He roused himself again when he heard Optimus rolling in quietly.
::. How'd it go?.:: Ratchet asked, sounding perfectly sleepy. His scans already showed that Mikaela had next to no Energon in her system now.
::. Just fine, she is sleeping.:: Optimus replied before slipping into his own recharge cycle. Ratchet smirked to himself, that response had been positively smug.