Chapter 45 - Disquietude

(MPOV)

The soldiers were ribbing each other, the bots tied into their places on the plane.

My head hurt, I was doing my damnedest to not let it show, but it was a class A migraine starting to force it's way into my senses. The plane was loud, the soldiers jubilant, we hadn't lost anyone this mission, several soldiers going so far as to clap me on the back, or shake me somewhat with glee.

Chance had gotten into the habit of skipping around on his new leg, his heavy boots thunking on the metal. Normally I would have been laughing at him, but at the moment? I just felt like purging... throwing up. The new terms bleeding into my vocabulary were beginning to irritate me now.

"Kae!" Ratchet shouted the next second, his holoform onlining twenty feet away.

I flinched, I couldn't help it, but that didn't stop me from immediately kicking myself for flinching.

"Ratch?" I asked as calmly as I could, battling down a wince at the loudness of my own voice.

"Go take a nap before that cranial swelling gets any worse or I'll sedate you!" Ratchet growled at me.

"Bloody friggen psychic auto-bot," I grumbled softly.

"Cranial swelling!? What, like a hemorrhage?" Will was immediately demanding of me. The soldiers had also gotten into that habit as well, apparently I'd healed them instead of myself.

I didn't remember that, but they were being almost unbearable now - making sure I was taking care of myself, and Ratchet wasn't helping. At all.

"No, like migraine," I groaned softly. I gave up and buried my face in my hands. "Ratchet you're a gods damned bully sometimes, you know that right?"

"You're the one that damaged herself to the point of needing a new neural network," Ratchet stated flatly. "Now go rest and let it take the proper amount of time to get used to new stimuli!"

Great.

The choice between a massive headache or nightmares. How does one explain that to a medic? No doubt he'd offer to sedate me again.

That didn't stop nightmares, it just made sure I couldn't wake up out of them.

"What time is it in Diego Garcia?" I asked calmly. Maybe deflection would work.

"It's uh... sixteen hundred hours," Will stated, looking at his watch.

"So you're mixing up a recipe for me to have massive jet lag Ratch," I informed my mentor calmly. "Sleeping during the day messes up internal clocks."

Ratchet glared at me.

I glared back.

It turned rather quickly into a staring contest. Which sucked, his body and holoform both had no reason to blink. Ever. But I was still going to put up a good fight.

"I will rest when I am tired," I growled at him.

"Which is now, your body is exhausted," Ratchet growled back at me.

Bloody psychic auto-bot.

"Optimus!" I called out in exasperation. He winked his holoform beside me, his face obviously struggling to not look amused.

"I refuse to take sides between my reliant and my medic, you know that my Kae," Optimus informed me patiently. I shot a pleading look at him, the holoform chuckled and lightly picked me up. "But simply because you are laying in my sleeper, does not necessarily mean you must sleep," he rumbled softly in my ear.

My saviour.

"I heard that!" Ratchet called out irritably. Optimus calmly carried me into his cab, lightly setting me down in the hammock and tucking himself in beside me.

"I'm right here," he murmured in my ear.

"Luring me to sleep knowing that I'm safer than I've ever been is cheating," I murmured softly. Optimus hummed an amused affirmative, tucking me a bit more tightly into the holoform's chest.

I laid in silence for a little while, then felt my sense of humour swell in my chest at the simplest, sweetest sound. Resting in his alt-form, his holoform wound around me, my guardian was snoring softly. Impressive, especially considering how much he hated flying.

But tucked into the warmth, listening to the soft, sweet hum surrounding me I could feel my heart beginning to break, the uncertainty of the future weighing my soul. I squirmed slightly and felt my shoulder twinge; the constant reminder of what needed to be done... I tucked my face into the hollow of the holoform's throat and did my best to suppress the sobs that wanted to tear themselves from my throat. He was becoming a crucial part of my being, and I didn't know which was going to hurt more: knowing that leaving would hurt him, or how much the leaving itself would hurt.

'Take each day as it comes' my uncle would tell me. I was tucked against a firm chest, enveloped by strong arms in a hammock created by a being whose first thought had been to keep me safe from my nightmares. I closed my eyes and did my absolute best to memorize the feeling of being in his presence.

The soft, comforting hum of his spark surrounded me, and with that sound soothing my fears, I drifted off to meet the darkness.

(OPOV)

Optimus roused himself as Ironhide gently nudged him with a holoformatic hand.

::. We're landing.:: the Weapons master informed him quietly. Optimus passed his thanks and brought himself fully online, checking on the femme sleeping tucked tightly near his spark. It felt good to have her there. She began to stir slightly in his holoform's arms.

"Sleep Kae," he whispered, gently stroking the silk that crowned her helm. "We're almost home."

Gentle, sleepy blue-green eyes looked up at him for a moment before she nodded, tucking herself a bit more snugly into his chest. He noted that at some point in their recharges, tiny fingers had wound into the holoform's shirt. He memorized that image, storing it in his permanent memories.

::. You wanna proximity me?.:: his scout sent mischievously.

Optimus jumped, immediately looking around himself and starting his engines up, the bots were waiting for him to disembark.

"Big man tired or something?" Epps asked curiously.

"Not quite fully online," Ratchet snorted. Optimus smirked slightly, a true, tight-knit unit always made each other's excuses. He thought for a moment and nodded to himself, he definitely needed to see to some form of rest and relaxation for his unit, or at least see to their freedom enough that he could make some excuses for them.

He could probably get Kae's help for that, come to think of it. He wondered how much she would demand for in payment if he pleaded with her to tend the unit.

"Not a dime," she murmured, half asleep.

Optimus jumped again, looking down at her drowsy blue eyes.

"Kae?" he murmured quietly.

"You're looking around at everyone, and scheming," Mikaela snorted softly, squirming in his arms. "And your arms tightened slightly but there's absolutely no resonation of jealousy about you my guardian."

Optimus chuckled softly, nuzzling his holoform's face into the femme's helm.

"Now the main question, what are you scheming?" she murmured with a low laugh.

Optimus smirked. Come to think of it, he wanted to spoil his reliant as well.

"Nothing," he rumbled innocently, knowing full well she could see though his lie more efficiently than her optics saw through his windshield.

"Tell me." she stated flatly.

"On second thought, I find myself wishing to surprise you equally," Optimus grinned down at her.

"However I already know your intention of a surprise, thereby nullifying it, so why not allow me into the scheme, seeing as you were contemplating how best to bribe me into something." Kae stated placidly, propping her chin onto his chest.

"How the scrap-" Optimus began with a small frown. He was very certain he had not said that aloud.

Mikaela smirked at him.

Optimus shot a half-sparked glare at her.

"Tell me," she grinned at him.

"I don't know yet," he grumbled, turning his attention to driving again. Mikaela snorted and rose from the hammock, settling into the passenger seat.

"So you're scheming on scheming?" Mikaela asked him innocently. Optimus snorted softly, he began driving toward the hangar and thought better of it, turning and driving up to the lookout.

::. Prime?.::

He sent the wordless sense of his intentions, feeling his Weapons master's laughter.

::. You know the humans are gonna get suspicious if you keep doin' that.::

::. So tell them that Kae and I are going to discuss what the All-spark is placing in her mind now that the Matrix has been found.:: he shrugged.

::. You're still an awful liar Prime.::

::. Why do you think he's getting you to do it?.:: Ratchet interjected with a snort.

::. Riiight...:: Ironhide snorted.

Optimus turned his attention back to Kae, the femme looking at him with a wry expression.

"You're doing it again," she informed him cheerfully.

"What?" he rumbled.

"Talking over whatever silent communication you lot have," she snorted.

"The Primary," he rumbled calmly. It was her turn to look at him curiously.

"I got into the habit of keeping an open frequency for the unit," Optimus shrugged. "We use it for group discussions, or to call each other outside of the personal frequencies."

"Primary because you run it?" Mikaela laughed at him.

"And Bumblebee in particular tends to use it as his primary communications line," Optimus rumbled a bit defensively. Mikaela chuckled and stroked his seat, a sensation that had him onlining an extra processor to maintain the concentration to continue driving.

Optimus calmly parked and made to transform.

"Is there a spot that makes it easier for you to transform around me?" Kae asked curiously. Optimus froze and smiled.

"Tuck yourself somewhat more tightly together, my Kae," he rumbled in amusement, and felt a surge of honoured pride as the femme brought her knees to her chest, folding in on herself and allowing him to transform without opening his armour so far. He lightly gathered her into his hand and brought her to his shoulder, smiling as she squirmed into her spot, wrapping a gentle arm around his frame as he began striding toward the cliffs. Mikaela glanced at her watch and snorted in irritation, opting instead to look up at the stars.

"Kae?"

"I still haven't gotten my watch fixed," Mikaela snorted. "Telling time by the sun is one thing, trying to sort it out by the position of the stars after flying half-way around the world? Entirely another."

Optimus snorted and lightly settled down on the cliff, dangling his legs over the edge as the lights of the universe twinkled above them, and the illuminated base winked below.

They sat in silence for some time, the comfortable silence of companions.

"Are you alright?" Mikaela finally asked softly, she reached out and lightly touched his cheek.

Optimus remained silent, as he usually did, trying to decide how to answer.

"Really? Well I think you should fake a sneeze and blast him accidentally," she informed him cheerfully, as she had always done. He didn't need to answer, she simply knew. "Or just blow him off the catwalk, Ratchet and I will both happily start fussing over your apparent cold."

Optimus immediately clapped a hand to his vocal processors, muffling the snort of laughter. Such a thing was not dignified.

"Okay you realize that seeing as you never allow me the dignity of suffering in silence you're not allowed to either, right?" Mikaela smirked at him. Optimus rolled his optics, he couldn't help it.

"I might note it was Ratchet whom announced your ailing state," he rumbled placidly.

"Shuffling things off to the medic is highly un-Primely of you," Mikaela shot back at him.

Optimus glared at the femme. She was absolutely correct, of course, he wasn't glaring for that.

He was glaring because he did not know an adequate and equal misbehaviour to 'reprimand' her with.

"You say that ladies aren't supposed to snort with laughter," she informed him cheerfully.

"Next time," he rumbled threateningly.

"Good, gives me plenty of time to polish my already existing retort to that." she informed him benignly.

"Femmes!" Optimus rumbled in exasperation. Mikaela snorted.

"Do you really want me to act differently?" she asked fondly.

"No," Optimus chuckled softly. "Just please stop making me laugh in front of the director? I am afraid that he will see my fondness for you, and thereby endeavour to have you removed from this place."

"Or worse yet, think that you're laughing at him," Mikaela murmured with a snort. Optimus groaned in agreement.

"Humans," he rumbled in exasperation.

"Cybertronians," Mikaela sighed in exasperation.

Optimus snorted, shooting a wry glance at her. She was smirking at him again. Optimus shook his head and laid back slowly enough for his Kae to maintain her balance, in moments she was sprawled across his chest plates, looking up at the stars with him.

"Has the light from Cybertron's sun reached the earth yet?" she asked quietly. Optimus hummed for a second, scanning the stars, registering their distances and cross-referencing them with the star charts.

Finally, he raised a hand and pointed.

"She is that way," he rumbled softly.