Even after all this time Serizawa still preferred to be alone.

It was just easier, in a lot of ways, to sit in his room all alone even though he knew that it wasn't right. He knew that he needed to spend more time with people, with his friends, because they liked him and wanted to spend time with him. At least that was what Miss Suzuki said. He didn't always feel like his friends liked him that much. Mostly Minegishi and Shimazaki. They were both mean in their own ways, but they had both kissed him, so it was just…confusing. Being their friend was very confusing sometimes. Minegishi didn't seem to like anyone but Miss Suzuki right now and Shimazaki…well they were still mad at him, or at least they were supposed to be.

He still didn't get it.

He had apologized and when you apologized to someone then everything was supposed to be alright. Right? You weren't supposed to stay mad at friend. Not that Shimazaki was…well he was a friend, he was just a friend that jumped out and scared him sometimes…or made him do a lot of very hard or boring things like arranging M&M's by color even though every single color tasted the same…or read to him even though Shimazaki had his own books to read and a bunch of books on tape…and labeling things wasn't much fun either now that he thought about it…

He was being kind of selfish right now.

Selfish was the worst thing that a person could be, Miss Suzuki said so, and she was always right. Serizawa had been really selfish lately. He hadn't wanted to go back to the house, the one that was supposed to be his, not since Hatori left anyway. Hatori had been his best friend there. Not as much of a best friend as Miss Suzuki was, he doubted that anyone could have been as good a friend as Miss Suzuki, but still a very good friend in and of himself. But he had a job and also he'd been adopted and…and Serizawa was happy for him! He really was! He just…wished that there had been some way that all of these good things could have happened to him but he had still been in the house. That was all. Someone he could have talked to, someone that could have brought him out of his room.

He had been in his room for way too long.

His room next door or his room in Miss Suzuki's house, it didn't matter, it was all the same. Him being away from everyone. With Hatori gone, Minegishi and Shimazaki being…themselves, and Shibata and Tsuchiya being to in love with each other…not that he had a problem with that! He didn't, not at all! He was so glad that Shibata and Tsuchiya had found love with one another. It was wonderful, really, he just didn't feel wonderful when he was around and they were all…in love…around him. Like he was in the middle of something that he shouldn't have been…of course he always felt like that, it was just worse when he was with them.

He felt better in his room.

Alone. It wasn't healthy to be all alone in his room, it was really easy to slip backwards, but with Miss Suzuki away it was just so much easier. Sometimes he hung out with Sho and Mukai…he would tell her that when he saw her again. Just to make her think better of him. He spent a couple hours playing red light and green light with them. Of course he always lost, and Mukai always managed to shoot him in the eye when he did, but at least he had spent time with other people. Miss Suzuki would have been really happy to hear about that, she would be happy to hear about it, when she got home.

He felt her aura.

From his room, the President's old room, he could feel her aura. Warm and safe and just…her. Like being under his umbrella but better. It was like being under a hundred umbrellas at once, in the smallest and darkest room ever, with all of his favorite games. Wait, no, it was better. She was back and it felt like…like everything was going to be ok.

Even though he had no idea what, exactly, hadn't been ok.

He paused his game. His room was silent, the house was silent, aside from the sound of the front door opening. Sho had gone to bed a while ago and told Serizawa that under no circumstances was he to go anywhere near Sho's door. Ever. Serizawa listened, of course, even though Sho's aura had been weird for a while there. It had been sort of like he had been mad at something. Of course knowing Sho there were probably a bunch of things that he was mad about. He'd given away more of his hamsters because they kept on having babies, one of his fish ate another fish, Mukai had drawn in his sketchbook again, and there was always Fukuda. Serizawa had lost track of all the things that Fukuda had done to make people mad at him. He didn't deserve it, it seemed, since he just wanted what was best for everyone. That was why he treated Sho like a baby and why…well, alright, there was no justification for why he was mean to Miss Suzuki. She didn't deserve it. She was one of the best, nicest, smartest, people in the whole world and she didn't deserve Fukuda or anyone else being mean to her. Not that he knew if Fukuda had been mean to her lately. He hadn't spent that much time with Miss Suzuki lately.

It had just been…kind of too much, lately…

He focused on the sound of her footsteps through the house. They got quiet as she left the genkan, the living room was carpeted, but they got loud again once she reached the stairs. He counted her steps. Her steps, her strides, were shorter than his. He hoped that he'd had the count right…or maybe wrong. By his count she had stopped in front of Sho's room. Well it was her room too, her bed and clothes were all in there, and this house belonged to her too but Sho had been perfectly clear. Nobody was to go anywhere near his room tonight.

Maybe he should have warned her.

"Get the fuck out!" shouted Sho, loudly enough to be heard all the way in Serizawa's room. There was the sound of a door slamming, too. Serizawa frowned. Sho should have been nicer to Miss Suzuki…but then again they were siblings. He was pretty sure that siblings were suppose to fight with one another. At least that was how it was on TV and in manga and games and stuff. He didn't know for sure, he had grown up as an only child, and if his Dad had met another woman and had more kids with her he had no way of knowing it. Even if it was normal that didn't make it right, fighting with Miss Suzuki, since she had done nothing but love Sho and take care of him…not that Serizawa was going to say anything to Sho, of course, since that would have been mean and Miss Suzuki couldn't stand mean people.

"Sho, I just need to change into my-" said Miss Suzuki

"I don't care! Get out!" said Sho

"But I just need-" said Miss Suzuki. There was a loud sound, like something had hit the door, and then some silence. Serizawa couldn't move, he couldn't even breathe. If something had happened to her then…then he had no idea what he even could have done. He didn't think that he had it in him to fight Sho. Serizawa knew that Sho had hit Miss Suzuki before when they had been little, little kids liked to hit and scratch and stuff…if Mukai was anything to go off of anyway, but they weren't little anymore and the thought of anything happening to her…it made him feel like…like…

It made his aura show and nothing good ever came of that.

"Alright, fine, you can have our room all to yourself, I guess." said Miss Suzuki. Serizawa could move again, he could breath again. His aura even went back to normal. She was fine. Of course she was fine, what else could she have been? Sho was her little brother and, yes, he could be a little mean sometimes he still loved her. He was just upset about something right now and had taken it out on Miss Suzuki. That was just something that he did sometimes. That was something that a lot of people did sometimes, actually, friends and siblings…it was normal.

He may not have agreed with it but it was normal and there was no way that he could argue with what was normal.

"I don't want our room all to myself, I just…I don't want you to bother me right now, ok? Go and bother Serizawa if you want to bother someone!" said Sho

"Alright…I guess." said Miss Suzuki. She seemed sad there, or maybe just tired, it was hard to tell with her. Serizawa didn't mind whatever it was that she was feeling. There was no way she could ever have been a bother to him. Even if she made him play red light and green light for hours and shot him right in the eye every single time he moved with a dart gun and those darts with the suction cups on the end. There was no way he ever could have been bothered by her, by his best friend, by his first friend ever.

No way.

He counted the steps she took. He didn't have to, he could see her aura now, and he knew where she was going. She was going to him, to his room, to be with him. Counting just kept him calmer. He wasn't upset in the upset way, more like upset in the…less upset way? He wasn't sure what he was feeling right now. Miss Suzuki could probably tell him. She knew everything after all. She was getting closer, he could feel her aura, he could see it. She was right outside his door. He could see the shadow she cast. Now all she had to do was open the door.

Or knock.

"Serizawa, can I come in?" asked Miss Suzuki as she knocked on his door. She didn't have to, he wouldn't have minded if she had let herself right in, actually he would have preferred it. That way he wouldn't have had to say anything…but he shouldn't have been nervous about saying anything. This was Miss Suzuki, even if he said the absolute most wrong thing in the world it wasn't like she would have laughed at him or anything like that…and how could he have even messed saying that she could come in?

"C-Come in! I mean you can if you want to!" said Serizawa

"Thank you." said Miss Suzuki as she opened the door. She looked tired, very tired. Her hair was all messed up, she had misbuttoned her sweater, and she had lipstick…or maybe it was gloss, he couldn't tell the difference, but whatever it was it was pink and glittery and smeared all on the side of her face. Maybe she had fallen asleep at her desk again, or maybe she had been in the big dancing game tournament that had been today. He hoped that she hadn't. Hatori had said that he was planning on messing with the difficulty settings and stuff…he was a good friend but he could be kind of mean for no reason sometimes…not that there was ever a reason to be mean.

Serizawa decided not to say a word about how Miss Suzuki looked. It probably would have sounded mean.

"Hi, I mean hello, I mean…um…you look very nice, Miss Suzuki." Said Serizawa. She always looked nice so he wasn't lying to her or anything. Even with her hair and clothes and makeup all messed up she still looked really pretty…though he wondered if he should have told her that part of her dress was pulled too far too the side and her undershirt was showing…probably not. That would have been mean and, anyway, it didn't seem like she was in the mood to hear things like that. She looked so tired…well of course she did, she'd had a lot of work that day. She'd been working so hard that she hadn't even had time to come home for dinner.

"Thank you, Serizawa. Um…can I borrow one of your shirts to sleep in? And can we have a sleepover? Sho won't let me in our room again and Minegishi…I don't really want to have a sleepover with Minegishi tonight." Said Miss Suzuki

"Of course! You don't even have to ask me. You can have the bed and I can sleep on the floor or I can sleep in the living room with the hamsters-" said Serizawa

"You know I would never make you do that. We can share your bed…I kind of want to. I don't want to be alone right now. It's been a really…a really weird day." Said Miss Suzuki

"I-I'm sorry that you didn't have a good day, Miss Suzuki, I wish…I wish that there was something that I could have done. I mean if I had been there-" said Serizawa

"If you had been there then it would have been even more weird and…and I just…if I tell you what happened do you promise no to tell anyone else?" asked Miss Suzuki

"I can keep a secret, Miss Suzuki, whatever it is." Said Serizawa. He didn't know what could have happened that it had to be kept a secret but he felt honored that she would trust him with one of hers. It wouldn't be hard to keep it all a secret, whatever it was, since he barely ever talked to anyone.

"Ok…um…just wait here. I'll be back." Said Miss Suzuki. Serizawa did as he was told. He waited right there at his spot on the rug in front of the TV. He didn't even move. He counted her steps as she left. To the bathroom and back. It hadn't been a long trip and he hadn't minded waiting. Being with her was better than being alone.

Being alone was comfortable but being with Miss Suzuki was even better.

He didn't have to be alone for long. She came back and immediately laid down on his bed. He didn't really want to go to sleep right now, he wasn't the least bit tired, but he knew that it would have been mean to just leave her there all alone. She had said that she wanted to sleep with him so, of course, he would sleep with her. He turned his game off and climbed into bed next to her. She scooted until her back was against the wall. He didn't think that there was room for the two of them even though this was a two person bed. He was just so much bigger than her, and she was so small, very small…he didn't remember her being this small. Maybe because she was laying down all scrunched up like that.

Oh.

She must have been cold. She was just wearing one of his shirts after all, and not a very thick one either. That was just the one that she had gotten him when they went to Mario World last summer. Not good for the winter at all. He pulled his blankets over the two of them and turned out the light with his powers. She was proud, probably, even if she didn't say anything. She just scooted closer to him, so close that her head was buried in his chest. She felt warm against him.

Good, she was warm again.

"Are you too warm, Miss Suzuki? Or are you too cold? I can get another blanket if you want." Said Serizawa

"I'm fine. I'm just…I'm fine. It's just been a really weird day, that's all, and I just feel…really weird." Said Miss Suzuki

"What happened? I mean you said that you'd tell me, I remember, but you don't have to. I mean it's none of my business. I mean I'm just happy to be with you but if you wanted to tell me then that would be ok. I can keep your secrets. I mean I don't really talk to that many people, not the way I talk to you, so it'll be easy for me." said Serizawa. Miss Suzuki nodded, her hair rusting against the front of his shirt. He shifted in place, his arm was falling asleep. Usually he laid on his back, his side had never been comfortable, but this was how she wanted them to be so this was how they were going to be from now on until she changed her mind.

She was the one in charge here, not him, and that was fine. He was just happy to be near her.

"I just…ok, do you promise not to tell anyone?" asked Miss Suzuki

"I promise." Said Serizawa

"I mean it. The last time people figured something like this out about me they all got really weird and everything got really weird and I don't want things to be weird again. Things are weird enough already." Said Miss Suzuki

"I can keep a secret, Miss Suzuki, I promise. I really do." Said Serizawa

"Ok…and you promise that you won't be weird or anything too, right?" asked Miss Suzuki

"I won't be. I mean I know that I'm not normal but I'm trying really hard. Today I-" said Serizawa

"No, not clueless weird. Just weird-weird. Just…don't get mad at anyone, ok? And don't talk to me like I'm a kid or I did something wrong, ok?" asked Miss Suzuki

"I would never be mad at you, or anyone, and I would never talk to you like that." Said Serizawa. He didn't know where all of that was coming from. He always talked to her like a friend…or at least he tried to. Maybe she didn't see it that way…he tried to stay calm. He wasn't going to freak out. If he freaked out then she would freak out too and that was the last thing that he wanted. He wished that he had his umbrella with him. It was on the floor in front of the TV. He couldn't just get up and get it, that would have been rude, so he was stuck here…no, not stuck. He was with the person he cared about the most in the whole world…yeah. He didn't need his umbrella when he was in his room and he certainly didn't need his umbrella when he was with Miss Suzuki.

She was like a hundred umbrellas after all.

He sat up a little and offered his arm out to her. They laid like this sometimes, with her using him as a pillow. He always woke up with his arm on pins and needles when they laid like this but that didn't matter. His feelings didn't matter, only hers did, and right now something was really bothering her. This was all his fault. If he hadn't been so selfish, selfish enough to stay home and leave her all alone, then he could have helped her with whatever was wrong.

He had been a bad friend before but he could make up for it now.

"Ok…and thanks. I should have known that you wouldn't be like that. You're just about the only person who treated me normal after what happened." Said Miss Suzuki as she laid her head down on his arm.

"What happened?" asked Serizawa

"The thing with Shimazaki…when he told everyone that we were going out together." Said Miss Suzuki. Serizawa nodded. Right, that…he still didn't get it. Sure it was a little strange to know so much about someone else's love life but he didn't think that it was something worth fighting about, or going on about it now still. Shimazaki was still in the alone zone, Mukai still hadn't gotten her hula hoop back, and Minegishi was still angry with Shimazaki. People were so confusing sometimes…or maybe he was just clueless. He wasn't sure, Miss Suzuki hadn't sorted that out for him yet.

"Oh…I won't be weird. I mean I don't know why I would be weird. Everyone's been so weird about that…or maybe I'm just the one who's clueless." said Serizawa

"You're not clueless, everyone else is being weird…at least I think that they are. I'm not sure. The whole thing is just…it's kind of confusing. I mean I know that I should have told Minegishi myself and I know that I made things awkward for them with Shimazaki but that's no reason to tell me that other boys aren't allowed to like me or that I'm not allowed to like them…and it's no reason to threaten anyone, either." Said Miss Suzuki

"They like to threaten people…um…I don't know why they'd threaten anyone who liked you, though. I can't imagine anyone not liking you, you're a wonderful person." Said Serizawa

"I mean people who like-like me, not just people who like me." said Miss Suzuki

"Oh." Said Serizawa. She was a girl and he was a boy…and he wasn't entirely sure if he should have been talking to her about this. Boys and girls normally talked to other boys and girls about this stuff but it wasn't like he had any friends who had anyone who liked them and she…well if she wanted to talk to him about this then who was he to stop her? He was going to be a good friend and listen to anything that she had to say about this…though there was nothing that he could do about how red he was turning.

"I mean not a lot of people do but someone does…at least I think that he did. I don't know, it was weird. I mean he acted like he at least wanted to be friends with benefits with me, that's when-" said Miss Suzuki

"I know what that means." Said Serizawa, turning redder than he ever had in his life. His aura was showing now, too, he was bright purple. He closed his eyes. This was not the sort of conversation that he wanted to have…but what he wanted didn't matter. She wanted to talk to him about this. Part of him wanted to tell her to tell Minegishi about this, since they were that kind of friends, but she had already said that she didn't want to and he didn't want to make her feel bad.

"Oh, ok, that's good. That saves me a lot of explaining. Ok, so Joseph acted like he liked me but then when…stuff…happened it was really weird." Said Miss Suzuki quickly. Serizawa opened his eyes. Weird could have meant so many things…so many of them not good. He knew how weird boys could be about girls. Back when he had been in school there had been boys who shined their shoes too much so they could see up girls' skirts. If someone had been weird towards Miss Suzuki like that then…well he had never been good at being mean but he could try. For her.

"Weird how?" asked Serizawa, preparing himself for the worst.

"It was just…weird. Not bad weird just…weird. Like it didn't feel like anything…maybe because he was really bad at it. Just…bad. Nothing felt like anything and his nails were too long and he kissed me like he was trying to eat an ice cream cone and it was just…weird!" said Miss Suzuki. Serizawa nodded, relieved that nothing bad had happened, but not ok with as much as he knew. He didn't have anything against people kissing, he just didn't really want to hear about it…it was just way too…too personal…

But how he felt didn't really matter.

"Um…sometimes it doesn't feel like…like anything? I mean two people have kissed me and it was weird…but not…not like it's supposed to be? I mean not like I think it's supposed to be…I don't know. I've never had a girlfriend and the only people who've kissed me only kissed me because…I'm not sure, really. Minegishi said that they weren't think and Shimazaki just kind of does things for no reason….sorry." said Serizawa. That seemed like the thing to tell her…or maybe he should have kept his mouth shut. He really didn't know what was happening here. He knew that they were talking but it was like they were in a play and someone had stolen his copy of the script. This was the thing that people talked about, love and their love lives, but he had no idea what was supposed to happen and he'd never been in love before…this was just…

This was a lot, nearly too much, but…but when it came to Miss Suzuki there was no such thing as too much.

"I think…I think that might be it. I was trying to figure out what I wanted and…and I don't like him at all. Not like he likes me…or how I think he liked me. Maybe he wasn't sure how he felt either or…or maybe he just didn't know what to do…or maybe I just didn't know what I was doing." Said Miss Suzuki

"I can't ever imagine you not knowing what you were, I mean what you are, doing. You always know what to do, Miss Suzuki." Said Serizawa. He didn't know what he would have done if she didn't know what to do. She was the one in control of everything. He couldn't be the one in charge, in control, since he could barely control his own powers…he couldn't be in charge. Her not knowing what to do…it was like getting the floor cut out from under him like in a cartoon.

"Yeah, you're right. I know what to do. I mean when I…you know what I mean." Said Miss Suzuki. Her aura was bright pink, now. She scooted closer to him and turned her face towards the bed. She reached out with her powers and pulled the blanket over her face.

"I do…I mean…um…are you sure that you aren't cold? Because I have some more blankets if you need them, or I can turn the heater up." said Serizawa

"I'm not cold…but thank you for thinking of me." said Miss Suzuki

"You don't have to thank me for thinking of you, Miss Suzuki, that's what friends are supposed to do." Said Serizawa

"You're right. I think that it's important to care about someone and…and I think that's where I went wrong. With Joseph I mean. I don't dislike him but I don't know him and…and I don't think that I should do things like that with people I don't like…or don't know." said Miss Suzuki

"I…um…I wouldn't know." said Serizawa. This was like playing one of those really old text adventure games, the kind you had to take notes on or else you'd end up getting lost. He didn't know what he was supposed to say. It was like he'd lost his sheet of paper with the console commands and now he was trying his best to keep going but he kept on getting an error message no matter what he typed in.

"It's ok…I mean it's hard but it's ok. I don't know either. I had a friend who did know but we're fighting and I don't even know if we're friends anymore. Last year, actually the year before last year, we got into this big fight and she hasn't spoken to me since." Said Miss Suzuki

"That's not-I mean I don't know why anyone wouldn't want to be friends with you. Maybe she just…maybe she just wants to say sorry but she's too…too scared? I mean sometimes I get scared talking to people…sorry, if that doesn't help. I don't know. I've never had friends before." Said Serizawa. This was at least something he kind of knew about. He may not have had a lot of friends but he did know how hard it was to talk to people. This was a lot easier, too, to discuss. Less personal. Less embarrassing.

"Maybe…and maybe I should have said sorry too. Maye we're both waiting for the other to apologize. She was never a good friend but…but she did know a lot of things and I could talk to her about this stuff." Said Miss Suzuki

"You-you can talk to me too! I mean you can talk to me about anything! I mean…I mean I'm not good at this kind of thing but you can still talk to me." said Serizawa. He may not have liked to talk about this sort of thing, love and kissing and stuff like that, but he didn't know what he would have done if she just decided to stop talking to him altogether. He would have been alone…and not the good kind of alone…

There was no good kind of alone.

"I know. You're the only person that I can talk to…I mean that's how I feel, sometimes." Said Miss Suzuki

"That's not true…I mean you're not a liar! I just meant that you have Minegishi and-" said Serizawa

"You're the only person who doesn't make things weird." Said Miss Suzuki

"I-I would never…" Said Serizawa

"Thank you…for being there for me. I really needed to talk to someone. It's just hard to figure these things out on my own." Said Miss Suzuki. She pulled the blanket down from over her head and got, somehow, even closer to him. She pressed her face into his chest wrapped her arms around him. He didn't have any room to scoot back but there wasn't enough room for the both of them, not if they both wanted to have their own space.

Maybe she didn't want her own space.

When he had been little he used to cuddle up to mom like this. Maybe that was just how she was being right now. It had been a weird day for her and maybe she needed comfort. It just…this felt sort of weird for him…but how he felt didn't matter. He wrapped his other arm around her. He meant to put his hand on her side but she scooted upwards and his hand wound up…well it was still on her side…

Just too low.

"Sorry! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to-" said Serizawa. He tried to pull his hand away but she didn't let him….and he really didn't get it! They were really close and it was weird, for him, but what he had just done should have been weird for her and-and-and he couldn't believe that he had made such a big mistake and-and-and none of this made any sense!

But he didn't lose control. That was what mattered.

"It's ok, I don't mind. I mean I don't mind if it's you." said Miss Suzuki. He nodded and stopped trying to move. This still felt weird but…but there was no point in feeling weird. If she decided that it wasn't weird, if she decided that this was normal, then that was what this was. Normal. This was normal and they were normal and…and he didn't really want to put his hand so low on her side….on her hip. This shirt was really thin and she was close and…and he was pretty sure that he shouldn't have been this close to her but…but it didn't matter.

She said that it was normal and he had to agree with her. Being with her, even like this, was better than being alone.