Chapter 56 - Who your friends are

(MPOV)

The base was quiet for the next few days. Several people, Auto-bots and human alike left me alone, but I could still feel their eyes as I went about my day-to-day routine: Fix things, train, eat, fix things, sleep. It hadn't taken long to fixate, anger seethed close to my bones eventually. Anger gave me focus, gave me energy. I trained.

Eventually, on the mats, Will's worried look turned into a mild glare.

"I know what you're thinking." I stated quietly, slowly shifting from the snake creeps through the grass to stand on one leg beside Sideswipe's holo.

"I find that hard to believe," Lennox said flatly, watching me worriedly.

"You think I'm a cold hearted bitch for not grieving my father." I said quietly.

"Little bit, yeah," Epps announced, garnering a glare from Lennox. "Thought you loved your dad, seeing as he taught you everything you know 'bout mechanics. We met the man! You were proud of each other!"

"I love my father, never doubt that," I said quietly, sinking into needle at the bottom of the sea.

"Well you sure as hell aren't showing it!" Lennox finally growled.

"No, she's showing it alright," Sideswipe stated calmly. I froze in position and stared at the holo. "You've got the same focus I did when my master was killed. Little Sister you are too focused, spending too much energy trying to act normal." he looked at me with piercing eyes.

"There is a time and a place for grief, and now is not it." I said firmly, moving back into position and performing the fan through the back.

"It's not your fault he's dead," Optimus stated quietly, his holoform touched my shoulder gently.

"When he dropped me off at college," I said flatly, shrugging away from the comforting hand and turning to face him. "He hugged me tightly, and gave me a list of people with their pictures. He said 'Kay, memorize these faces, if you ever see them, I want you to run. Don't fight them, don't hide, run. They won't show you any kindness and I won't see you make my mistakes. Don't let them get you, and don't go after them if they get me.'

"My father is dead, Optimus, and he's dead by the hand of one of my enemies, not his, mine. Did I give him the same courtesy? Did I tell him 'Dad, if you ever see a Decepticon, run, don't hide, don't fight, run?' No. How is his death not on me? It's my fault. So if you'll excuse me I'm going to continue keeping my focus, I don't need platitudes, I need to make damn sure that they don't take any more lives."

Out of the corner of my eye, Ratchet lowered a hand to block Lennox moving forward.

"Watch," the medi-bot murmured. Sideswipe's body leaned casually against the hanger wall, tipping his head toward Ironhide in silent communication as his holo walked toward Epps and Lennox.

"Your father knew, Kae," Optimus rumbled quietly. I watched him with wary eyes, "he said that when the day came, to tell you that Cal Banes knew when his day was ending."

"Dad may have known," I growled softly, "but what about the ones who don't?"

"You are hyperfocused and therefore unfocused, who are you going to fight like this?" Prime growled, glaring at me. "Even if I provided you with the weaponry necessary to take down the Decepticons who killed your father you are not strong enough to hold your own against Barricade unaided."

"I will kill him Prime," I snarled, glaring at him.

"How?" he taunted me, "by glaring daggers at him? No doubt you are out of ammunition, I am still alive." His eyes turned gentle, "You. Are no killer."

"I did well enough in Egypt." I snapped, moving directly into the demanding stances Uncle Sho had taught.

"And what do you intend to do then?" Optimus asked in a mild tone.

"I am going to train, I am going to get back the strength they gave me and I am going to follow my programming." I growled.

"With what? You are not going anywhere!" Optimus snarled, grabbing my wrist.

"It will not stand!" I shrieked, my vision tinged with red. Before I knew it I was throwing punches while Optimus stood, casually blocking the strikes, the gentle look never leaving his eyes. "They tortured him Optimus!" I shouted, barely keeping my balance as he delicately re-directed a roundhouse kick. "They tortured and killed him to get to me," A badly weakened punch finally connected with his shoulder, managing only to push it backward an inch. A gentle hand caught my wrist and pulled me against a solid body. Powerful arms held me tightly, pinning me in place as I struggled weakly against him.

"He died to protect you," Optimus rumbled softly, "I will not dishonour his memory by letting you go to your death."

"How many more will die because of me?" I gasped into his chest as he rocked me. "How many!?" I shrieked, giving one last, feeble struggle.

"If you are going to fight them, do not become one of them," he murmured in my hair, "Kae your father would have fought no matter what. A Banes does not run."

I clung to him, shaking against the sobs that threatened to break from my throat.

"Come for a drive with me?" he murmured gently, his holoform guiding me into his hand. I nodded, a painful, defeated motion. "Oh Kae," Optimus rumbled gently, standing and walking out of the hanger with me cradled close to his chest.

"What am I supposed to do now, Optimus?" I asked weakly, climbing his arm to sit on his shoulder. "If you guys go I'll have nothing left."

"I will never leave you," Optimus murmured. ΩYou are my spark-mate, I will never be separate from you.Ω

The language of the Primes resounded through my soul. Truth. Absolute truth. I closed my eyes and felt my soul reach for him. The solid, comforting warmth of his spark greeted me as it always did.

"Love you," it whispered. I broke down and clung to his shoulder as one hand reached up to gently cover me.

(RPOV)

"What just happened?" Lennox asked the medic in shock.

"Survivors guilt," Sideswipe said quietly. "THAT is the same technique our Prime used on me when they killed my master," the normally flashy Auto-bot's holo gestured toward the pair. "Mind, he was gentler with her." he added, his holo winking out again.

"What do you mean gentler? That was friggin' harsh!" Epps exclaimed.

"It took me two and a half hours to put Sides back to rights when Prime was through with him." Ratchet grumbled irritably.

"Whaat?" Lennox looked around at the gathered Auto-bots.

"Optimus had to beat the hell out of Sideswipe to keep him from going lone ranger," Ironhide rumbled good-naturedly. He handed Sideswipe a tiny glowing ball.

"What..."

"Prime's being gentle with her," Sideswipe grinned, flicking the little ball of energon about before absorbing it. "He actually let her catch him."

"I was expecting him to put her into submission right off," Ironhide grumbled.

"But..."

"Optimus baited her into releasing the anger safely," Ratchet finally explained to the frustrated Major. "With the All-Spark still integrating itself into her mind her mood will be unstable, and her temper volatile at best. She is strong, and has a great deal of discipline, but she has been fighting alone for so long that accepting help is difficult. If she can master it, she could wield the power of the All-Spark."

"Wait, Optimus said that the All-Spark contained..." Epps trailed off and stared at the young woman now enveloped in the hand of a metal titan.

"Everything that is our race, is now contained within her mind." Ratchet stated quietly, "How to fight, how to transform, create, heal. Billions of years of learning in one mind. She's overloaded. There isn't enough space in such a tiny form."

"That's why you want to upload her into an auto-bot body so badly," Lennox murmured.

"And why we need the protoform metals from the Decepticons we've taken down." Ratchet added calmly, watching the pair.

"So you've decided then?" Will said calmly.

"Prime's going to tell her tonight," Ratchet grinned. "Don't know if she'll accept, I hope she does. It'd be nice to have a nurse again."

"If she does, how big you think she'll be?" Sideswipe nudged Ironhide with a grin.

"Ooh, there's a good one," the weapons master grinned.

...

::. Did you ask her?.:: Ratchet asked excitedly as Optimus pulled in.

::. No.:: Optimus murmured quietly ::. She is grieving, I want to give her time.::

Ratchet nodded and returned to his recharge cycle.

Mikaela was quiet the next day, looking as though she were prepared at any second to completely withdraw into herself. She continued to strip that same servo, bringing it right down to it's protoform metals before moving onto the next.

Optimus looked at his scout almost in desperation.

Bee looked back at him calmly and transformed, walking to Mikaela and sitting down across from her at her workbench.

He stared at her for a long moment until she looked up at him.

"So if the cube hadn't come to earth, would you have been bigger or smaller than me sis?" Bee asked curiously.

Mikaela snorted back a laugh and shot Bumblebee a reproachful look.

"That's playing dirty Bee," she said firmly.

"That's why it's so much cooler that you're bigger than me," Bee grinned at her. He set his face on the table, all but obscuring himself behind the servo she was dismantling. "So is this your latest victim for death by dissection? 'Cause that's kinda gross big sister. You should give me an oil change instead."

"Bumblebee!" Mikaela protested with a helpless laugh. "Oh thank you for putting that image in my head you great prat!"

"Good, now that you're grossed out c'mere!" Bumblebee chuckled, reaching over the table and plucking her up. "I found this great spot on the road that looks like it ends right off a cliff into the ocean. And there's all sorts of weird stuff scuttling down in the water down there-!"

"Bumblebee!" Mikaela shouted through her laughter. "That's disgusting! Why the hell are you trying to show me seabugs!?"

"Cause they're seabugs!" Bee chirped gleefully. "Fine, if you don't wanna go see the seabugs with me you should at least come see the sunset with us. You get all stuffy when you stay in here. And you're squishy enough as it is!"

"Are you calling me fat?" Mikaela demanded with a laugh.

"There's a reason I call you my big sister," Bee shot at her with a broad grin.

Mikaela squirmed onto Bee's shoulder and promptly began messing with his helm as the bot reached up and began lightly poking her, striding out of the hangar door.

Bee turned around and grinned at everyone.

"Are you coming or not?" he chirped, transforming as Mikaela squeaked and burning rubber down the coastal road.

Ratchet chuckled and walked after them, transforming and driving toward the cliffs as Optimus waited patiently for several humans to load up.

"I vote bonfire night!" Chance shouted, scrambling into the kitchen to get the cooks on hand gathering up camp food.

"Hey Graham," Lennox asked musingly.

"Major," the British lieutenant asked in a neutral voice.

"The cliffs up there are basically no-man's land aren't they?"

"As far as the base is concerned, yeah," Graham nodded. "Civilian territory really, civilian rules."

"We're all due a day or so's leave of absence aren't we?" Lennox asked with a smirk.

"I'll bring the beer," Graham grinned, jogging toward the cold storage.

(MPOV)

Bumblebee transformed around me and burned rubber.

"Where the hell are you taking me you right prat!?" I demanded.

"I'm taking care of my big sister. You're not allowed to withdraw into yourself," Bee said firmly, "Double standard sis."

"What do you mean double standard?" I asked irritably.

"We're allowed to trust you, cry on your shoulder and feel loved and cared about and you aren't?" Bee shot at me. "You're part of our family, we're not going to let you draw into yourself and suffer alone. Pain is easier when we share it."

He screeched around a corner and ploughed his way up the road to a beautiful clearing out on the cliffs. He transformed again and cradled me to his chest.

"Do you remember when we used to come sit out on the cliffs near Sam's home?" Bee asked softly, sitting and cradling me gently. "I never told you about my twin, did I? It's really hard to not feel alone, except for when you came and took care of me, and then it was like having a little part of him back again. Better, because Stinger went to the Decepticons, and you're so much better."

I froze and stared at Bee as he looked down at me with a smile.

"You make pain go away," Bee said gently, "what kind of brother would I be if I didn't take you out to our favourite spot and hug you back?"

"I missed you Bee," I whispered, cuddling into him and fighting back the tears that stung in my eyes.

"You're allowed to cry Kaelie," Bee murmured as the sounds of the other auto-bots transforming surrounded us.

"Give us something, Kae," Will said gently, walking to stand beside Bumblebee as my brother cradled me.

"I..." I whispered. "We were seven, Dad, Paddy, Brick, Rig, Uncle Sho, Tinny and me, there are only two of us left. And I don't... I don't know how to keep him safe, there aren't any channels I can use to warn him. Because the second I find him, they will too."

"Wait, a unit of seven?" Epps growled, "if they're being picked off there have been five-"

"Murders?" I said softly. "It's shocking just how much people get away with in prisons, men are murdered, stabbed, maimed. But what do you do when they're living in a community of murderers? Every one of them has been 'proven' a killer." I put a vicious twist on proven. "How do you catch one murderer among hundreds?"

"But if the last one goes..." Will stated in a deathly quiet voice.

"Then I become the number one target. Except they already know where I am," I whispered, lightly touching the scar on my left shoulder. "I'm sorry, I can't say anymore, I know I sound paranoid. Rule forty."

"They will not get to you," Bee stated firmly. "I will build you a terraform home on the moon if I have to, they will not get you!"

I cuddled closer to him.

"In the meantime, come back to us, Kae," Optimus rumbled softly, onlining his holoform to cup my cheek.

I reached out and wrapped an arm across his shoulders.

"Thank you," I whispered. A few more vehicles drove up, there was the sound of a beer opening. "Bonfire night?" I asked with a smile.

"We met your father," Ironhide rumbled. "He was a good man, it is only right that we celebrate his life as he would have wished."

"Fire and beer," I laughed softly, turning to look at the group of soldiers and 'bots. "You're the absolute best, you know that right?" I asked with a weak grin.

"We'd like to think so," Chance shrugged, handing me a beer.

I looked at him with raised eyebrows.

"You're my sister," he grinned, "that makes you partially Australian. You've been legal drinking age for over a year now."

I snorted and took a swig of the beer, cuddling against Bee and watching the sunset.

"Fare the well, my own true one." I began singing softly. "Fare thee well, my old true one. Wind is blowing, through the trees, ships are sailing, out to sea, and the sun is slowly setting, on you and me."

"So drink up my friend 'cause it's a departing song. And it matters not who's right, which of us is wrong," my little-brother sang along with me. "We may meet again 'neath the shady pine, with a warm breeze blowing through the grass in the summertime."

"Oh fare thee well. I must be moving on. It's just as well, the time we had is gone." my throat tightened, the ache of tears stinging my eyes again.

"For the west coast, I'll be bound, and there's no need in hanging round. And I long to get my feet, back on the ground." Bumblebee hitched me a bit closer and sang alone, my dear, sweet little-brother picking up where I couldn't, and quickly joined by the other Auto-bots.

"So drink up my friend, 'cause it's a departing song. And it matters not who's right, which of us is wrong, 'cause it's a departing song. Fare thee well."

I raised my beer to the sun as it dipped below the horizon.