Disclaimer: I do not own X.
Author's Thanks 1: To my beloved beta Cait-hime-sama,to Whitesakura the co-writer and to Irresistibly Cruel, the wise advisor.
Other many thanks, not a bit fewer than the those of the above, go to Trench Kamen for advising me about this story.
Author's Notes: This is the second edition, re-edited version of Equivocal since I've been feeling that the way the story was told the first time failed to hit the right spot in you readers and get the right result from you.
Disclaimer 2: This story is a non-humor satire, aimed to mock a certain way far too many writers focus on the yaoi quartet; Fuma-Kamui-Subaru-Seishiro.
Any OOC, over-the-top, non-canon and downright stupid behavior by the characters has its purposes and is NOT written out of the belief that this is how the characters are really or should really be.
Chapter 3: Aftermath
Wake up, Little Red Riding Hood
The duvet he made his lair in was sun soaked, the thick layers beaming warmth into the air pocket where Kamui slept, heating until it forced the youth out of sleep.
Only barely did he open his eyes to see the light of late morning shining at him from the hole in his fabric cocoon. He blinked, using the fact that this was not his bedroom to yank his mind out of slumber.
At once, the events of the day before hit him, and not with the unpleasant bang he predicted it would. Rather than hitting him like a ton of bricks, it spread through his mind like poisonous gas.
It concentrated in his awareness smack in the middle of his brain so no matter what he tried to do, there was no way he could tip-toe past it and not be hit by its piercing gaze, its snarling scorning fanged mouth.
'You betrayed everything,' it snarled. 'You foolish boy, look at what you've done.'
Angry at his own mind berating him, daring to talk back at him, Kamui shut it up with all his might. He ignored its words and locked them all away, along with the creature spouting them, as far away from his consciousness as possible.
If he hadn't done that maybe he wouldn't be in the mess he'd be in later…
Feeling like he needed to show the creature his defiance with an actual physical act, Kamui bolted up on the bed. Shaking the duvet off his naked body, spreading his legs sideways with both feet facing each other, hanging his head a bit with slumber's weight still pulling it down, he frowned.
"Good morning."
Within minutes, whatever defiance, bravery, dominance and courage Kamui had in him shrank away with its tail between its legs. Kamui blinked madly to his right and it wasn't because the sun was shining murder from the wall of a window to his right.
Seishiro sat by the little elegant western styled oak table. His large body spreading casually into the vast matching oak chair, his legs crossed elegantly, his hair neatly combed and his face already shaved (Kamui could trace faint, heavily masculine aftershave beaming from the man), holding a neat white steaming coffee mug in one hand and, like any normal and sane human being (which Seishiro definitely was not!) would do, with the other holding today's newspaper folded in half on the sports section.
There was a large silver tray on the table's polished wood top, laden with plates of muffins, French originated rolled cookies, another cup of coffee, a neat transparent coffee mug, a sugar bowl and a small milk jug.
Seishiro looked directly at him, absolutely disarmed and calm as if they were two of the most ordinary people in the world. "There's some lovely breakfast here for you," he said nonchalantly.
Kamui blinked again, trying to process what was going on.
There was no mistake about it: sure as hell, Sakurazuka Seishiro sat there and not because he came into the room at morning to bring Kamui his breakfast, rather because they had sex the other day and they both slept in.
There wasn't even a way for Kamui to deny the details of what happened yesterday. His wrists wore new bracelets of bright red rash from the leather. The two binding straps, leather and silk, lay cast-off on the nightstand, along with the lubricant tube which lay on its side with the cap on the carpet and a little congealed fluid from too much squeezing earlier the other day at its tip. The lamp Kamui unscrewed to make room for the hook lay under the breakfast table, Seishiro's (bare!) feet playfully clutching its silver rod with their toes.
Kamui shot to his feet, grabbing the duvet with him to cover himself up ('what's the point in that silly boy, he's seen you more exposed then nudity can offer,' SHUT UP!) and rushed into the bathroom.
With a towel to cover himself this time, he stomped over to the bedside cabinet where his clothes were, ripping them off the cabinet while glaring death at the other man (now munching on one of those strange French rolls) and stomped off into the bathroom.
Kamui brushed his teeth, combed his hair as much as he could, washed his face over and over again before he realized he should take an overall shower (his lower abdomen was covered with semen and the same thing could be said about his rear end).
He took the quickest shower possible, not even bothering to fumble with the water temperature controlling buttons. The ice-cold water helped him recover his senses as he stood under them, feverishly soaping his body as if to purify it.
Then he stepped out of the shower, brushed his teeth again, fought his pile of untamed hair and failed miserably before he put his clothes back on and shot out of the shower, out of the room, out of the hotel, and out of sanity.
If he didn't run to the elevator he would have been be able to hear Seishiro laughing through the room's door.
Laugh, Big Bad Wolf
Seishiro sat there laughing for almost five minutes, stopping only because his lower back started hurting. Ah yes, he is getting older, and such sitting positions do not go well with the aging.
He sat up, threw the newspaper carelessly away, lit a cigarette, gulped his coffee fully and ravished the two pastry plates. There was no need to keep up the appearance he held before Kamui's eyes when the boy was no longer here, right?
The second cigarette (the after-food one, unlike the first, along-with-coffee, cigarette) silently burning between his fingers, Seishiro placed his chin on his palm and looked out to the city. A low chuckle tickled under his ribcage, wishing to get out. He let it go, savoring how Hollywood-ishly evil he sounded.
And wasn't he just that? Was he not the perfect demon when he stayed here to sleep the night with Kamui only to be here in the morning and act as a painful reminder of the boy's searing treason?
Seishiro enjoyed tormenting waifs like the boy so much he wondered if 'sadism' could be considered an emotion and if so, how did it slip past his mother's strict anti-emotion training.
And how was little Subaru-kun doing this morning? Seishiro sent his senses forward, reaching out to his markings to guide him to his prey.
Yes, he'll pay a visit to his little china doll with emerald eyes and a heart of shattered glass today.
He always wanted to know if broken glass could be smashed into dust and if so, would it still glitter beautifully in the light?
Now Suffer, Red
Kamui arrived to school at 11:30, entering his classroom in the middle of class. The teacher gave him a searing look. Didn't matter.
Nothing could sear Kamui any more than his own conscience.
And so class flew by without Kamui paying attention to a single word the teacher spoke. Hell, he didn't even bother to open his notebook, not even his textbook when the teacher told them to.
It's a good thing Imonoyama-sama told all his teachers that he might be undergoing some mental stressful times, ordering them to overlook any slacking in his schoolwork.
It was his fellow Seals that could not overlook his absence or his strange behavior. His 'friends', the Seals…such pests, really.
They rushed over to him at lunch break in a cacophony of worried questions and berating comments for him to please not run off like that without telling them or without keeping some kind of contact with them.
They were easy to dodge, as imprisoning as the little triangle Sorata, Arashi and Yuzuriha made when they stood around him could seem. Kamui learnt how to shake them off pretty early in their relationship.
He hung his head low, frowned sadly, cast his eyes sideways. With a whisper of a tone he mumbled, "I was walking around town trying to find Fuma…or any DoE…but I ended up in Togakushi shrine…I think I almost fell asleep where my house was, but…I kinda dragged myself into the house to sleep in a normal bed…"
A muzzle couldn't shut them up better. They stood around him like blocks of ice, staring at him with various levels of pity.
"I…I think I'll go to see Kotori for a while…" He turned away from them, cursing under his breath as soon as he was far enough from them.
Now he had the use of Togakushi shrine to mask his misdeeds to add to his pile of guilt. Lovely.
The school hummed around him, various cheers or squeals from students piercing the bright warm air. Noise, so much noise, so useless and stupid.
Kamui needed a dank, dark place to curl up in and feel sorry for himself. He didn't need this damned campus full of perfectly kept gardens and spoiled students thinking they can fill the air with meaningless happiness. What do they know of happiness when, surely, they never knew enough sadness in their lives to know what true joy was?
What did he know of happiness? Happiness was torn away from him when every dream he had of stopping death from snatching his dearest away broke before he could touch it.
His self-consuming thoughts came to a halt when Subaru came into his sight.
The older man was sitting in that marble little ach, smoking his lungs away. He was looking off (thankfully) at the direction opposite to that of Kamui's with that same blank expression like he's not quite on the same level as everybody else.
Kamui simply could not bring himself to see the older man right now, not now, please! What if Subaru caught the scent of sakura and smoke off of him? What if there was a way he could sense what happened, what if that bastard left some sign on him for Subaru to pick up?
A violent shudder caught Kamui's limbs, the very thought of Subaru finding out made him sick to his stomach. He held it back, looking around for a route of escape; he dashed in that direction with tears in his eyes.
Kotori's tree waited for him with large comforting branches to curl up on, an abundance of merry little birds intertwined in its foliage and the soft sweet grass between its roots.
'And you think you can just walk into its territory after what you've done? Hah! Your feet ought to be burnt at the first touch with a virgin's grave, you impudent, defiled little monster!'
(Didn't I tell you to shut the fuck up!)
He walked to the tree trunk, placing his palm on it instinctively. With catlike flexibility he climbed to the thickest, tallest branch and splayed himself there, exhausted.
So many thoughts bothered him, so much guilt, and so much self-disgust. As he lay there, he rubbed the sides of his arms, his fingers soon curling to claw at his sleeves.
He wanted to scratch the skin off of his flesh. He wanted to walk into a fire and burn his sins off. He wanted to put a bullet in his brain and end this miserable existence. Kamui was not unfamiliar with suicidal thoughts…hell he might have invented them!
"Fuma…" He exhaled; casting his eyes to the sun softly playing on the fresh green leaves around him. "How could I…?"
Slamming his palms on his face he gave another soul wrenching sigh. "Subaru…oh Subaru…how could I have done this to you?"
His sobs almost shook his body off the branch.
Prowling
The sun shone down on the city of iron, concrete and human sin, making the light breeze hot and humid. It was getting a little bit too hot to stand around in a three-piece suit and trench coat, but nothing in the world would keep the Big Bad Wolf from keeping his style.
Subaru-kun was walking out of a train station opposite to the building Seishiro stood on, looking at the map from the fax he got earlier this morning as he dashed forward. He was on his way to a Sumeragi assignment, and about to be late.
Smiling, Seishiro observed his prey with immense delight. How wonderfully the sun shone off Subaru-kun's hair, how lovely it bounced off his almost sickeningly white skin.
How wonderfully the breeze carried his maboroshi sakura petals into Subaru's view, making him stop dead in his place.
The man stared forward, transfixed, lost in his thoughts. Seishiro had managed to rip Subaru's attention from his mission and plunge him into an emotional whirlpool.
Of course, it wasn't the season when the cherry trees blossom, these petals came from only one source.
"Think about me Subaru-kun, think about me until you feel like screaming and tearing at your hair. Think about me until you're ready to give in to the tree branches and you'll be all mine. And you are mine…only mine, only…"
"Is this all you have to do these days, Sakurazuka-san?"
His 'Kamui' landed on a building top only a meter or so higher than his. He stood with his hands in his bratty little pair of jeans, looking down at him through those black John Lennon shades he thinks are so cool.
"My prey is mine to deal with. My schedule of it is no one's business."
Intentionally, Seishiro did not remove his eyes from the man down on the street.
Only, now Subaru started recovering the little mental shock, checking the time in his wristwatch to see he's five minutes late to his appointment. Ah well, at least Seishiro managed to execute one little reminder of himself in Subaru-kun's life. Now he can handle the little brat behind him.
"I want you to do some work for me." The brat spoke, his tone ice cold and careless.
"Whatever happened to 'please'?" Seishiro sighed. "Kids these days…"
'Kamui' remained unchanged. "You will stop seeing this Seal so often. You will stop encountering him unless it is in order to start a battle over a kekkai."
Seishiro could not keep his eyebrows from soaring high in his forehead as his leader truly took him by surprise (damn that brat, this is the second time he's done that!). He did not just say that, did he?
"That is an order."
And the cowardly little brat didn't even stay around to hear his reply! He took off immediately after clearing that point, keeping the upper hand. Seishiro felt like strangling somebody, the brat preferably.
No one can tell him what to do with Subaru-kun!
Ah, but didn't he have a winning card with last night's events in his arsenal? Wasn't the little boy something 'Kamui' cared about?
No, he won't waste his time on Subaru-kun; he'll spend it playing with the brat's boy. And he just might enjoy it. No, he will definitely enjoy it.
There were so many things he had in store for that boy. He wondered just how much the boy could take?
Silence
The world didn't look any better three days later. His chest did not ache any less for hearts he broke and loyalties he defiled, his head had not become in any way lighter from stormy thoughts.
School, Seals, Tokyo, night, day, all zoomed past Kamui as if he was stuck in suspended animation with the world rushing around him. He was too heavy to reach out and catch up with it. His guilt was a ball and chain at his ankles.
He simply could not bring himself to face Subaru and look him in the eye. Whenever he thought about Subaru, an image of the dreamy eyed tall lean man with a knife in his back popped before his eyes. Was it not him who drove that knife in? Was it not him who slept with Subaru's beloved Seishiro-san?
What did he find in that overly smug asshole, anyway? Staying around in the morning only to stick out like a sore thumb.
And see, he couldn't even say that to Subaru could he? He couldn't even walk up to him and say, "Hey, Subaru, man, what do you find in that guy, anyway! He's a horrible bastard and a sniggering, drooling sex fiend. He's not even good in bed or something!"
No…he couldn't say that, could he.
He couldn't even say Seishiro was no good in bed because Kamui all but had his mind blown out that time, it was the best thing that ever happ-
No! Mustn't think about it! Must tell Subaru…somehow…oh god, somehow, but how!
His feet were taking him around his dorms, trying to let the fresh air cheer him up and clear his mind a bit. And there he was, Subaru, sitting in a little wicker gazebo at the corner of a beautiful wisteria garden.
Come on Kamui; are you a man or a mouse? Face the consequences of your foul deeds!
Kamui wandered down the path from the mansion into the garden. He rubbed absently at his wrists that were blue and black, ringed with bruises under his well camouflaging school uniform's sleeves.
Subaru was sitting on one of the inside benches, the onmyouji was deep in thought, gazing out over the grass and trees. Subaru leaned his back against one of the wooden pillars. A forgotten cigarette dangled between his fingers. There was ash on Subaru's pants, but he didn't seem to notice. He didn't seem to notice anything much these days; so sunk in his world of dreams and long forgotten fake kind smiles was he.
"Subaru," Kamui said, resting a hand on one of the gazebo's beams.
Subaru started and his fingers jerked. The delicate column of ash between them crumbled.
"Kamui," Subaru answered and inclined his head as an invitation for the boy to sit.
Kamui did so, hesitatingly, on the other side of the gazebo, but he also reached out to dust the ashes off Subaru's lap.
Subaru seemed a little shocked, but when he looked up and met Kamui's eyes, Subaru was smiling serenely.
Kamui looked away and clenched his hands into fists on his knees.
"Subaru, something happened a few days ago," Kamui began. His eyes began to sting. "I did something terrible."
There was only stillness, and then Kamui could feel the onmyouji drift close. Subaru's warmth was slow and encompassing, nurturing like warm water, not like fire. Not hot and destructive at all.
Yet, Subaru smelled almost the same, faintly of smoke, faintly of sakura. The thought of that man when Subaru was so close, looking concerned and worried, made Kamui's stomach twist.
"Tell me," said Subaru softly. His words were a comforting caress. "Tell me what happened."
"I betrayed two people," Kamui whispered. "One whom I've known forever, the other whom I care about – who made me realize the importance of fighting for my wish. I – I don't know how to tell them."
Subaru rose and turned, until Kamui could only see his back.
"It's important to tell the truth from the beginning," Subaru said, staring out over the landscape.
"Someone once lied to me for a long time and the day he told me the truth – my world ended," Subaru said, his gaze wandering to the still flickering cigarette in his fingers. Subaru crushed it forcefully on the railing. Its spark went out. It left a black dot on the immaculate bright wicker, never again clean and perfect.
Kamui didn't answer.
"You'll tell them soon," Subaru said, taking Kamui's hand. "Let's go back. The sky is becoming grey with clouds. It will rain soon."
Kamui followed, knowing he would never take that advice.
It's different when the truth can hurt the one you love.
Empty Mission
Hinoto's basement shrine was never so dull and pointless, her words never as meaningless as they were to Kamui now.
His head still low, still heavy with thought, Kamui attended the meeting. He forced his attention to the prophetesses' words.
Hinoto wasn't feeling too well, couldn't see dreams; DoE's dreamgazer blocking visions from her. Doesn't know where the next kekkai will shatter, unable to help them, ceremoniously polite and sorry.
"So…what does it mean?" Sorata was the only person Kamui ever saw who could talk and chew at the same time. And he actually makes it possible to understand what he says when his mouth is full, though it took its toll on how he looked when he did that.
They were sitting in a restaurant, discussing the meeting while Sorata and Yuzuriha charged up.
Kamui's eyes begged for sleep. The world became unbearable to withstand. Something was missing.
"I guess it means we have to patrol around Tokyo a lot, just be around if the DoE's try to start something." The neon lights in the restaurant reflected nicely from Arashi's hair. She must be combing it hundreds of times to get it so fine and shiny.
Kamui wished he had the patience to take care of himself like that. Maybe then he wouldn't end up with a mop of knots like his hair.
"Right! We'll split into teams and scan all over Tokyo!" Yuzuriha could give him a maddening headache with that constant cheerfulness…and that'd be on a good day.
"May I join you? I believe I finish work the same time as you do on normal days." Karen asked, leaning forward until her healthy neckline became completely impossible to ignore.
Kamui wished to become air and ride the wind from here to his bed.
Whirlpool in his head. Didn't drink enough perhaps. Crazy weather going super hot after being super stormy yesterday, caught him off-guard, probably dehydrated.
He took a large sip from his plastic soda cup.
"You girls go together then," Sorata said into his fifth meatball. "Me and Kamui, we'll go together." The strong arm he hooked around Kamui's shoulder made the youth's head throb.
Kamui looked out into the city night, his face slightly reflecting on the big restaurant window. He didn't dare look into the eyes of his reflection. Something's missing.
"I'll go alone," he heard himself groan.
Maybe he'll find Fuma. Maybe he'll find some silence to his crazed thoughts. Honestly, being obsessed about Fuma was better than this shit.
His 'friends' were arguing with him, some just sitting and staring at him in silence.
"I want to do this alone. I'll go, I'll be fine. Maybe I'll find Fuma…before he does something too bad."
He got up before they could stop him, walking out of the restaurant before he could hear Sorata yelling, "But you can't make a barrier shield!" into the crowded restaurant. Neither could he hear Arashi's calm scowling for Sorata to keep it down around civilians.
He couldn't hear Seiichiro muttering under his breath that, "Something is going wrong with him…"
Mission? What Mission!
Kamui longed for the cool breeze of the night's air, but the city would have none of that. Even atop the lamppost, the high buildings around him blocked the wind. All those neon lights, open-air restaurant kitchens, so much human activity, if there was coolness to the air it had been heated up a long time ago.
Kamui sat with one knee drawn under his chin, the other dangling carelessly from the lamppost, looking sketchily down at the city below.
Such a bore. Something's missing. Noise in his head. Guilt. Guilt. Guilt. Subaru and Fuma.
He leaped back into the crowds, hands in his pockets, head hung, walking past restaurants to sniff the multiple scented air. An average teen on a night out alone.
If a DoE stumbles across him he'll tear them apart right here and now; the last thing he wanted on his mind was this ridiculous fight!
Kamui kicked at a stray soda can, swearing under his breath at anything and anybody within sight.
Where are you Fuma? Where are you when I need you?
Where were you?
Tears made him close his eyes and swear a little more. He couldn't stop them from flowing though, no matter how much he kicked himself mentally for crying in public. Where are all of Tokyo's lampposts when you need them?
Then he felt it, like a pinch to his awareness; the presence.
He raised his head, squinted the tears away and focused.
And there he was; an insolent lone figure. No one can stand out in the middle of such bustling crowds like Seishiro can; no one can force you to recognise him like he can.
Kamui blinked at the heavily suited man in the midst of the careless, ever partying crowd. The bastard was smiling, faintly pointing at the ice cream stand to his left as a hint.
BASTARD! How dare he? With such a careless smile, such a fake mask! Kamui felt like rushing over to him and punching the idiot's stomach through his back!
Standing there, shaking with anger, the storms in his mind buzzing into an unbearable din, Kamui was ready to burst out screaming everything that made him angry at Seishiro.
While he stood there, the assassin walked to the ice cream shop and bought himself two ice cream cones (vanilla and chocolate chip). He eyed the ice cream lady as she poured thick chocolate sauce on the smooth ball of white vanilla ice cream.
He thanked the lady kindly and walked to the simmering youth, holding the vanilla cone at the boy. "Ice cream? It's good for your health."
Ah, the Year was such good practice for sounding like the kind uncle, Seishiro was very proud of his achievements in that field.
Kamui glared at the chocolate smudged ice cream, trying to melt it with the intensity of his glare. The next moment he was gone, off to the closest train station to get him back into Clamp Campus. A good cup of tea and a full night's sleep should do his nerves a world of good.
Abandoned, Seishiro licked at his cone lazily. Never mind. He'll snare the boy some other time.
Hmmm-delicious chocolate syrup…
A plan was formed. He won't snare the boy some other time; he'll snare him now.
Weaving a concealing maboroshi around his shiki, Seishiro sent his falcon into the ice cream store.
The ice cream lady wondered where those clicking sounds came from as the shiki's claws hit the smooth glass surface of her counter, waddling clumsily towards the bottle of chocolate syrup.
Seishiro had it in hand within a minute, smiling to himself. He wandered off towards the train station where Little Red Riding Hood disappeared.
He spotted Kamui waiting for the wrong train (wrong in his dictionary, anyway). The boy had his arms crossed on his chest, a permanent frown on his pretty little face, his eyes feverishly staring forward.
Ah yes, little boy, you've felt it too. The tug. Something's missing for you, is it not? If you'd like it, I'll have something missing too. Then maybe we can go to my apartment and take back what went missing, ne?
Kamui's mind was still feverish to a point of physical pain when the smell of sakura, smoke and a little chocolate on the cold breath blown gently into his right ear came.
"You're standing on the wrong platform. This train will take you down to Clamp Campus," the Wolf purred.
"That's where I'm heading," Red Riding Hood snarled back, feeling the bigger man's head was still by his side and stopped him from glaring back at the man.
"You'd be better off using the opposite platform."
"Oh really? And where would that lead me to?"
'Bastard! Bastard! Bastard! I hope the venom in my voice will kill you! Pervert! Bastard! You broke Subaru's heart, you evil twisted bastard!'
"Why, back to my apartment of course. My penthouse that is…" the Wolf answered.
'Tssk, you think flashing money's gonna make me come to you! Bastard!'
"And what the hell makes you think I'd do that?" Red spat back.
'Broke Suabru's heart, bastard…hot breath on my skin…think of Subaru…'
Seishiro didn't answer.
A smooth, thick fluid dripped onto Kamui's neck. It was about to flow into his shirt and stain it when Seishiro bent a little bit further and licked the few drops off with one smooth, long stroke.
The thunders in Kamui's mind silenced, giving way for lightning bolts.
Without words, Seishiro walked off towards the opposite platform, followed just as silently by Kamui.
(tbc)