It was hard to tell, sometimes, when you liked someone.
When you really liked them, not just as a friend. When Mob had been little it had been easy. She knew a lot more boys back then, when she had been in school, so it hadn't been hard at all to see which boys made her feel all doki-doki and which boys didn't. She was also too little to really understand what love was, how complicated it was, and how important it was to be with the right person. She had been with someone who she hadn't loved back and it had been so weird…and also kind of a mess, too.
She wasn't going to make that mistake again.
"I don't think that chest is real, don't open it." Said Mob as she leaned into Serizawa's side. They were playing videogames, one of those ones with a lot of dungeons and exploring that he liked, one that she couldn't really remember the name of. She didn't really like videogames all the much, not since she had been little, and even then she had mostly just played Mario games and anything where you got to dress someone up. The sorts of games that Mukai played now. Could she like Serizawa without liking videogames? Or did they have to have everything one hundred percent in common?
She had no idea.
She knew that when you were with someone you had to have things in common with them, otherwise why were you even with them? Unless it was just to do things with them but even then…well, she knew that sometimes people met up with other people, sometimes complete strangers, to do things with them but Mob didn't know if she was capable of doing that. She had tried to have that kind of relationship with Joseph, she hadn't known him that well, and then everything had just gone so…weird. Awkward. The fact that he was so bad at everything didn't help…not that she would ever tell him that. Not that she would ever speak to him again. It would just be too weird.
She didn't want things to be weird like that with Serizawa.
"No one likes a backseat driver, Mob." Said Minegishi, looking up from their book. Minegishi had been hanging out with her a lot lately even though they didn't have to. They had important things to do with their boyfriend, Matsuo not Shimazaki, and also they needed their sleep. They didn't have to be here watching her all the time. Not that she didn't love Minegishi! She loved them more than she had ever loved any friend in her entire life. She just…she didn't need someone to watch her. She could figure all of this out on her own. She would figure all of this out on her own.
She knew what she was doing…sort of.
"I-I don't mind! I mean you're right, Miss Suzuki, it does look like a mimic." Said Serizawa
"Or maybe it looks like a chest. Do chests mimic the mimics or do mimics mimic the chests?" asked Minegishi
"Um…I…I think maybe the second one." Said Serizawa quickly. He looked away from them and did that thing where he tucked his head low to his chest. They still made him nervous. That was because they had kissed him, once, a long time ago…for no reason. Well, they had said for no reason but Mob had never heard of kissing someone for absolutely no reason. Sometimes you kissed someone because you loved them as more than a friend or you wanted to do things with them or…well Shimazaki said that he sometimes kissed people just because he felt like kissing them but Mob knew that it was actually because he liked to upset people whenever he got bored…Minegishi wasn't the sort of person to upset people whenever they got bored…
Though they did upset her sometimes.
"You'd think that people would have just stopped building chests that looked like chests, then, if the mimics had learned to mimic them so perfectly." Said Minegishi
"Um…they can copy anything, I mean…they're like….dittos?" asked Serizawa
"Huh. So you think it's some kind of hive mind situation or something?" asked Minegishi
"I-I'm not sure…um…I just…" said Serizawa
"I don't think that it matters, Minegishi. Someone put these chests down in this dungeon a long time ago, that's why we keep on finding so many ancient gears, and that's why all the mimics look like chests, because it's been a while and nobody's been down here to change the chests out and…and they look that way in the rest of the game for…reasons." Said Mob. She loved them, she really did, but they did upset her sometimes. Like now. They knew how sometimes Serizawa got really nervous talking to people that weren't her and they knew that he got especially nervous talking to them because they had kissed him. She didn't know why they got him all scared and worried like this. They knew that he could explode at any time…and anyway even if he'd had good control over his powers it still wouldn't have been nice to bother someone like that.
Maybe that was what they had in common with Shimazaki.
Well, now that she thought about it, they had a lot of things in common with Shimazkai. They both liked chocolate, though Minegishi only liked dark chocolate, and they both liked the same kind of music and the same kind of weed and they both liked to sleep in and cuddle and they both liked soft t-shirts and fuzzy socks and they both hated it when people moved things around in the kitchen without telling anyone, Shibata liked to organize the kitchen when he got bored, and they both hated loud sudden sounds…and it looked like they both liked upsetting people when they got bored, too.
If she hadn't messed with their relationship, if she hadn't agreed to be Shimazaki's girlfriend, then they could have both been really happy together…
They had been really happy….sort of happy together. They had fought a lot but that was probably because they both fought a lot with everyone around them. Like now. She almost felt like Minegishi was trying to pick a fight or something with Serizawa…but that wouldn't have made any sense. They were his friend, and they were her friend, and they knew how much she didn't like fighting…unless they didn't like him now, of course, since they knew that she sort of liked him…maybe. She had thought that she did, when he had put his hand on her hip she had been prepared in that moment to do all the things with him, but he hadn't wanted to and he hadn't done anything like that since…so maybe he didn't feel the same way…
Not that she even knew how she felt…but she did know that, however she felt about him, it wasn't any of Minegishi's business. She was thirteen, almost fourteen, not three going to be four, she knew how to take care of herself.
"They put the chests down here for the dead king! I mean this is his tomb and we need to clear it out and collect his sword so we can get to the next part of the quest and…and probably level up, too. There were a lot of wraiths down here to fight and…um…skeletons too…but I don't like those very much." Said Serizawa
"Me either, they make a weird noise when they attack." Said Mob
"I don't like that creaking. It reminds me of this chair my mom used to have in the living room. She used to rock on it while I was down there and it always sounded kind of like…um…kind of like how ghosts sound when they don't remember how to talk. Spirits, I mean…because we aren't supposed to call them ghosts….um…they don't prefer that." Said Serizawa
"I don't know what they prefer, really, but I think that ghosts fits. Matsuo would know better, though, because he's a medium." Said Mob. She had never been good at things like this, giving hints and stuff, so she didn't really have room to fault Minegishi if they didn't pick up on it. They had made a lot of eye and aural contact, though, when she said that. Maybe then they would understand that she didn't need them to watch her like this, that they had a boyfriend of their own who missed them, and that maybe they should have spent time with him instead of making sure that she didn't have the chance to do…whatever it was that she wanted to do…
She didn't even know what she wanted to do.
This was worse than with Joseph. She hadn't known Joseph that well so, really, the choice to try with him had come a lot easier. Serizawa was a much better friend than Joseph had been, a much closer friend, and someone who really needed her. She kind of needed him too in some ways. He was fun to hang out with. He listened to her when she talked and when he talked she listened right back. He was also around all the time. Sho used to be the person she talked to, and spent time with, but lately he had been either locking himself up in his room or with Fukuda….they were playing marbles with Mukai now but not death marbles, and…and it was a different kind of company she wanted. Of course she didn't feel any kind of way about her brother…that would have been so weird….and she didn't want to be weird like that.
It felt weird, though, feeling any kind of way about Serizawa or…or not weird but…not usual.
Not unusual. Just…there were a lot of stakes if she was wrong about how she felt. She had been wrong about how she felt about Joseph and now they could never speak again. He was somewhere in Tokyo HQ, she didn't know where, and if she 'd had the power to reassign his squad she would have. Dad wanted them near her to keep her safe or something. She almost, kind of, wished that she was the one in charge of all of Claw. Then at least it would have been easier to avoid people she could never speak to again. As hard as it was to avoid Joseph it would have been even harder to avoid Serizawa since they lived together and…and she didn't want to avoid him. Not now, not ever.
He was her friend…her second best friend in the whole world.
He was the person who she came home to every night. He was the person who was always there to hang out with her. Talking to him was always so easy. He never expected anything of her, when it came to conversation, and if she said dumb stuff or clueless stuff he never made fun of her. He was just happy to talk to her. She had never had anyone be so happy just to be able to talk to her before. Sometimes they didn't even talk. Sometimes they just sat together and she watched him play videogames or they watched TV together and she put her head on his chest and he rested his arm on her…those were always really nice times…
If she was wrong about how she felt, if things got weird between them, then those times would never happen again…and she didn't know what she would do if those times never happened again…if they never came around…if she had to avoid him….
"Matsuo's busy right now." said Minegishi
"Are you sure? The workday is over now, I made it shorter for everyone because they said that it was too long and also I read this thing about how we work too hard in Japan and people don't have time to fall in love and start families and that in a hundred years we'll be extinct." Said Mob. Serizawa gasped. She took his hand without thinking.
"Because we won't have any more babies, not because we'll be dead…I mean we'll be dead because you'll be a hundred and twenty nine and I'll be a hundred and thirteen and…and Minegishi will be a hundred and thirty, but that's old age and not from the population being too low." Said Mob as she took his hand in hers. Holding hands with Serizawa did kind of make her feel like her insides were a milkshake that had been shaken too much and now it was all frothy and kind of like drinking whipped cream…but not in a good way….or maybe yes in a good way. It wasn't bad just…kind of different…but in a good way.
In a complicated way.
Complicated didn't mean bad, even though the way Minegishi was looking at her she would have thought that it did. She wasn't the best at reading expressions but she knew them. That was the same face that they made when they bit into a bar of chocolate and it had nuts in it, or when they accidentally cut their hair too short, or when they went to put their socks on but there was a hole in them. Mob didn't now why they had to be this way. They were the ones who had told her that it was her body and her life and she could do what she wanted with her body and her life and…and she didn't even know what she wanted right now. To have someone who loved her and who she could love back….to have someone who listened to her and who wanted to be with her…to have someone who wanted to do all the things that she liked with her including things that she wasn't going to talk to her best friend, or anyone, about. She wanted all of that and…and maybe she wanted it with him…but she could have been wrong…
Not that Minegishi was ever going to let her figure it out.
"Oh…ok. I feel better…I mean I don't feel good, I don't like to think about dying, but at least it'll be for a while." Said Serizawa
"We all have to go sometime." Said Minegishi. Serizawa gasped and let go of her hand. She knew what he was reaching for, his umbrella, and she passed it to him with her powers. The game was paused…she hadn't really been into it but she would rather watch him play than watch him get all upset like this. Minegishi could be so…she didn't like to use this word against other people…but they could be so clueless sometimes. They knew how sensitive he was and still they talked to him, treated him, like this…
They could be so clueless sometimes.
"Everyone has to die sometime, my dad says so, and it makes me sad when I think about how old he is and how he's going to die someday too but I just try and focus on how he's alive now…I mean he isn't being very nice to me and hasn't been lately but at least he's alive now like we're alive now, you and me, so why don't we keep on being alive and keep on playing. We still don't know if that chest is a mimic or not." Said Mob as she handed him the controller, with her hand that time. He let go of his umbrella and pushed it off to the side. It hit the hamster house and they started squeaking really loudly but she didn't mind. She would rather have the hamsters squeak all night than have Minegishi say something else upsetting.
"Like I said, we all have to go sometime." Said Minegishi
"Minegishi…that's kind of…not helping." Said Mob. She knew that she was being mean, there, but it was the truth. They weren't helping at all and they should have been able to see that. She knew that they couldn't see auras as well as she could but even a normal person could have seen the way Serizawa's aura looked now…all upset and stuff.
"I know, now go and try the chest already before your character dies of old age." Said Minegishi
"That doesn't happen but…um…here, I can try…even if I might die…" said Serizawa
"Maybe if you hit it with magic, or an arrow, first to see if it's alive or not." Said Mob
"That's a great idea, Miss Suzuki! You always have the best ideas." Said Serizawa. Mob smiled and nodded. It felt good, very good, when he said nice things to her like that. Not that he was the only one who said nice things to her, no, the Awakened said nice things to her all the time. It was just so…so weird and kind of smothery when they said nice things to her. Not at all like when Serizawa did…when he said nice things to do it felt more like being covered than smothered.
Covered was a good word for it.
Like she was laying under a really warm and really soft blanket. Like she was in the most comfortable place in the whole world and she never had to get up ever again. Like she was really high but also laying down under a fluffy blanket in the sun and stuff like that…nice stuff like that. She leaned over and rested her head on his chest, in the crook between his chest and his arm.
It was nice.
Minegishi's aura made contact with hers. She pulled away. She didn't want Minegishi to go but also…also she kind of did. She loved them a lot but right now she just…she just wanted to be alone with Serizawa. Not to do anything, just to have time to be with him, just to be able to sit here with him and watch him play videogames while the hamsters squeaked because they were nocturnal and this was when they were at their most awake. She felt like she was at her most awake but also…also kind of sleepy. Warm and comfortable and just…and just right…
This felt right. Warm and soft and safe and just…just right.
"Huh. So it was real. What do you know?" Said Minegishi as the bolt of magic had no effect on the chest.
"It was, I was wrong." Said Mob
"N-No you weren't! I mean you were but you could have been right so…so that's like you were never wrong to begin with and…and…um…" said Serizawa
"Mob was wrong. It happens." Said Minegishi. They had a tone there, one that she didn't know how to read….one which she wished that they hadn't used. She kind of wished that they would just come out and say whatever it was that they had to say, like how Minori had always spoken her mind no matter how mean it sounded, that way at least she could tell them why they were wrong. She was almost fourteen, she could take care of herself, and it wasn't like she was going to mess this up again.
No, now she knew that she had to be careful about these sorts of things. She didn't want a repeat of what happened with Joseph.
"I am wrong sometimes, it's ok. Everyone can be wrong about things." Said Mob. Minegishi looked at her and raised the space where one of their eyebrows would have been if they'd had any. She kind of felt like drawing eyebrows on them, and doing all of their other makeup too, or painting their nails…one of the things that they used to do when she was little. Back when they'd had fun together all the time….back before she had ruined everything….but she hadn't. Things were…they would get better. Sure she had wrecked Minegishi's relationship with Shimazaki but they could always get back together and…and they had found new love, too, with Matsuo and…and she was tired of worrying about what had happened. She just wanted to move on. She was moving on. This was what moving on looked like, putting things behind her and finding someone new, and Minegishi…she didn't want to be mean to them but they maybe needed to try and…and not worry so much about her and what she had done and the mistakes that she had made so…so maybe they needed to move on, too.
Not that she ever would have said that to them, no, that would have been terrible of her.
"A lot of things." Said Minegishi
"Yes, lots of people can be wrong about lots of things but that doesn't mean that they can't be right about things, too." Said Mob
"No, but they need to learn to listen when someone older and more experienced tells them when they've got a truly terrible idea." Said Minegishi
"Not all ideas are truly terrible and-" said Mob
"Are-are we still talking about the game? Because it doesn't sound like we're still talking about the game but I could be wrong…I mean I'm usually wrong about these things but I don't feel like I'm wrong right now and…and…Miss Suzuki, can you please tell me if I'm right or wrong?" asked Serizawa. Mob let her aura rest on his. He was starting to get all upset again. It happened to him a lot but she didn't mind. That was what you did when you loved someone, when you were their friend, you were there for them.
"I think that we should just keep on playing. I mean until we get tired." Said Mob. Minegishi would be getting tired soon and then they'd go to bed and then Mob could, finally, be away from…no, that was mean. She could take a little bit of a break from them. There, that sounded a lot better.
"We can go to bed now if you want to, Miss Suzuki. I mean I'm not tired yet but I can be very quiet and not bother you." said Serizawa
"That would be-" said Mob
"Mob, if you're so tired go to your room and go to sleep before your brother shows up and locks you out again." Said Minegishi
"I've pretty much let Sho have the room, now. I don't know why he wants our room all to himself but he can have it if it's really that important to him. I don't mind…not really." Said Mob. She didn't mind Sho wanting to be all one his own when he slept. Some people liked to be on their own. Maybe he just took after Mom like that. She had stopped letting them sleep in her bed when they had been about Mukai's age. Dad wasn't like that, he liked sharing his bed with people, even if he would never admit it with that many words. She took after him like that and if Dad thought that it was ok, as ok as Dad could think something was, then it was ok…and Minegishi had no reason to make their aura, what little aura they had, look all mad at her like that.
"Like I just said, Mob, if you're so tired then you can go to bed in your own room on your own." Said Minegishi. They used that tone again, the one that kept on scaring Serizawa. Mob had never liked being mean to them, or any of their friends, but sometimes…there were some rare times when you had to be mean to someone. Even if they were your best friend. Even if the thought of being mean to them felt like someone was punching you in the stomach and pulling on your hair at the same time. Even if you weren't sure if your friendship could recover if told them to please stop being so mean right now.
She loved Minegishi…but she also loved Serizawa too.
"Minegishi…um…I think that maybe it would be good if you kind of maybe just…if you wanted to…I mean if you just-" said Mob. She didn't know how to be mean, she didn't know how to get the words out. She wasn't Dad, she didn't take after him like that, she didn't know if she could just come out and be mean to someone like that.
Luckily she didn't have to.
"Toshi! Oh, and Mob and Serizawa, but mostly Toshi! Read this can to me!" said Shimazaki as he teleported into her living room. The hamsters got scared, Serizawa got scared, but she was fine. Happy, even. Relieved. She wouldn't have felt like this before, not even a few weeks before, since things were still so weird but now…well now it felt like he'd saved her from something terrible. Which he actually kind of had.
If only Serizawa felt the same.
"I-I-I have to go now! To bed!" said Serizawa as he got up and practically ran out of the room. He dropped his controller on the ground and didn't even pause his game before he left. Mob didn't blame him, Shimazaki could be scary to people who he liked to mess with. She wasn't scared, though, she was…kind of confused. He had one of those long dogs in one hand and a can of dog food in the other and that was…not usual…but he was here and he was distracting Minegishi so that was what mattered.
"Goodnight." Said Mob
"Yeah, yeah, goodnight. Anyway, Toshi, is this dog food? Please tell me that this is dog food. This guy's getting hungry." Said Shimazaki as the dog in his arms started to struggle to get away. She wished that Sho had been home, he loved animals, though maybe…the hamsters were being loud…maybe they had too many animals in the house already.
"Who's dog is that?" asked Minegishi
"No idea, he's a rescue. Anyway is this dog food?" asked Shimazaki
"Yes, it's dog food, but why do you have that dog? Ryou, you had better not be planning on bringing that dog into the house. You know how I feel about dogs." Said Minegishi
"I know, you think that they're hairy slobber machines that we've bred into uselessness." Said Shimazaki, covering the dogs ears. That just made it more upset than it had been before. Mob scooted away. That was not a happy dog at all and Minegishi didn't look any happier…but this was still better than having to be mean to them to she would take it.
"And they're loud and annoying. If I wanted to be pawed by something loud and hyperactive I'd let you back in my room." said Minegishi
"Really? I can come back?" asked Shimazaki
"No, now get that thing out of here. It has a collar, Ryou, and that means it has a family that probably misses it or whatever." Said Minegishi with a wave of their hand. Shimazaki shook his head.
"I can't give him back, he's a rescue. If I bring him back then he's going to end up getting eaten." Said Shimazaki
"Someone's going to EAT that dog?" asked Mob. She may not have been a big dog person, cats were really the better pet, she didn't want to eat dogs or anything like that. They had feelings and looked at you like they loved you. Mob didn't think that she could have eaten anything that looked at her like she loved it.
"There's really not a lot of meat on that dog but I suppose if someone got hungry enough-" said Minegishi
"No, not like that. We finally figured out where that giant evil spirit bob thing's been hiding out and I'm saving all the dogs I can before they get, you know, spirit eaten. Matsuo and Joseph think that we need to call for backup or whatever. Honestly, some people need to get their priorities in order." Said Shimazaki
"Joseph? Is he ok?" asked Mob. She didn't want to spend time with him in any way but she didn't want him getting hurt either. She knew that the spirit was dangerous, that was why Dad had told her not to try and help chase after it, and she knew that people got hurt all the time. She didn't really like Joseph all that much anymore but she didn't want him getting hurt or eaten.
Or spirit eaten, which sounded a lot worse than getting regular eaten.
"I don't know and I don't care what happened to old tofu dick. What I care about is getting these dogs saved before that spirit thing or whatever gets hungry again. Apparently it eats everyone but his host. Never seen that before but then again I'm not-" said Shimazaki
"Ryou, go be jealous somewhere else." Said Minegishi
"I'm not jealous, I wish you both all the happiness in the world. See? That's how not jealous I am. I'm even so not jealous that if it comes down to it I'll save Matsuo's ass too even though it would be a lot easier and better for me if I let his soul get devoured." Said Shimazaki. Minegishi rolled their eyes and clapped.
"My hero." Said Minegishi
"See? I'm happy for you." said Shimazaki
"It's so noble Ryou, really, saving someone's life when you can so easily teleport in and out of any situation." Said Minegishi rolling their eyes. Mob knew that they were being mean, that was what the eye rolling meant, and they shouldn't have been. Shimazaki loved them and it was a lot for him to be happy for them and their new love….new-ish love. This was a lot for him and that was the point and they really needed to stop being mean to everyone all the time!
It wasn't very nice.
"I think that it's very nice of you, Shimazaki. You're a good friend like that." Said Mob. Hopefully using the word friend would remind him that they were friends and make it so that he didn't fall in love with her again.
"See? Mob gets it…and I mean that in the most platonic way possible. In fact I'm so platonic that I'll even save that friend of yours, the bitchy one, if I can." Said Shimazaki
"Wait, what?" asked Mob. She knew who Shimazaki meant. She only had one friend who was a b-word and that was Minori…not that they were even still friends. If they had still been friends then they would have hung out since she lived in Tokyo now. They both moved around a lot. Minori had always understood how hard it was…she had always understood a lot of things even if she had always been mean about it. Kind of a b-word…but she was still Mob's friend…or at least she had been. No matter how mean she'd been she didn't deserve to be in danger.
"Yeah, what?" asked Minegishi
"I'm assuming, anyway, that it's your bitchy friend that I felt today. It's hard to tell without aura but she's got a pretty distinctive walk. Matsuo doesn't think that the spirit or whatever is going to let her go but, hey, if it does then I'll try and keep her alive. As soon as I'm done with this guy, of course." Said Shimazaki as the dog in his arms tried to bite him. It didn't get through his barrier but that still looked…not good….none of this was good. She had known that spirits could be dangerous but she had never imagined that one would have gone after someone she knew…this was bad…
But she trusted Shimazaki.
"I trust you…I trust that you can save her, and the dogs too…but that dog might not like you." said Mob as the dog kept on biting Shimazaki. She would have to try and see what she could do, if she could do anything. She didn't know a lot about spirits but she knew a lot about friendship and even when someone was a complete and total b-word to you that you couldn't just let them get eaten. Even if you didn't like them and they didn't like you that would still have been wrong.
And Mob was a very good friend.
She considered herself to be a very good friend, anyway. She tried to be one. Even if she kept on making her friends mad and also making them fall in love with her, or she fell in…something…with them…she was still a good friend and good friends didn't let bad things happen to their other friends.
Even if those friends didn't like them very much…and you didn't like them very much either.