From Ally's insanity drawer

By: Ally

Pairing: Ryan/Lex

Other characters: N/A

Words: pink bunny slippers, tofu, pink eraser, and tampon

Sentences: N/A

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(Series 2)

Lex was marrying Tai-san, and Ryan was marrying Salene. Things were going great, it two nights before and two men were sitting around the table at the mall discussing the upcoming ceremony opposed to a certain one Lex had in the past, among other things relating to women as well.

"Well Zandra used to have these sick pink bunny slippers that she refused to get rid of, and she'd always leave them in plain sight. That was embarrassing; Tai-an however leaves her crystal ball in plain sight. So they balance out," Lex replied as took a sip of his drink.

"That isn't so bad- it could be worse," Ryan said to him.

"Not really, everything she owned was pink. Her nighties, her nail polish, her slippers, her socks, her shoes, even her pink eraser was pink," Lex replied exasperated.

"Lex those are supposed to pink," Ryan said.

"Right but they CAN be in other colours- it just proves Zandra is partial to pink," Lex stated defensively.

It was embarrassing when an idiot like Ryan was correcting him!

"Is that all negative parts of marriage then?" Ryan asked.

"Well no, there's the tampon's. Women just leaving them around in plain sight. It's disgusting and vile. Those things- and where they put them too! It's sick man," Lex said.

Ryan looked at him, "Noted".

"Of course, Zan was even worse than Tai-san. Tai-san just keeps them in a box, Zan just left on the floor," Lex replied.

"Uh Lex… can we…"

"Right- next food. Zandra liked meat so it was all good but Tai-san. That vegan nutjob! She traded one of her shirts for tofu and made me eat it on night. Tofu. Probably the most vile stuff on the planet mind you- and I did it for her why because I'm going to marry her," Lex stated throwing his hands up.

"Lex, you make it like the only good about it the sex," Ryan said to him.

"That's just it! The sex. Beyond that marriage is pointless and stupid- and yet mate we're doing it, why because we want more sex," Lex said as downed another drink and slapped Ryan on the back.

"That's not why I'm marrying Sal," Ryan protested.

Lex turned to him, "Oh don't even say it's because you love her and want to spend the rest of your life with her"

"But that IS why," Ryan said to him.

Lex let out a huge laugh, "Oh man! That's classic. That's hysterical Ryan. 'Cause you love her. That's too much," Lex said amused.

"Oh and you don't love Tai-san?" Ryan threw back.

Lex froze, "I-I er…"

"That's what I thought," Ryan answered.

Lex sighed and put down his head, "All right there is two reasons to get married- love and sex. Everything is else is just a nightmare," he stated finally.

Ryan looked at him, "Yea- but they're both such good things they just cancel out everything else don't they?" he asked.

"They do mate- that they do".

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The end

Words: 518