Mob didn't like it when people were mad at her.
"For the love of…" muttering Minegishi. The couch squeaked as they shifted in place and put their phone down on the arm in front of them. The picked their book up and got back to it. Mob didn't know what they were muttering about over there. She hoped that it had something to do with their phone...maybe Shimazaki was texting them again about getting back together…or maybe Mukai had pulled all of the leaves off of their plants again…or maybe the house had caught fire again. Maybe Shimazaki had tried, again, to make dog treats and got distracted and then the kitchen caught fire and-
-and she got the feeling that she wasn't going to be so lucky.
No, no, she knew what this was about. Minegishi didn't like her anymore…or at least they maybe didn't like her anymore. Mob wasn't sure, really, what they were feeling right now. She just knew that having someone, especially her best friend, not like her anymore was terrible. Worse than anything that she could think about. It was one of the worst feelings in the whole world, really, someone being mad at you. Someone sitting in the corner sighing. Someone sitting there pretending to read but you could tell that they were actually watching you. Their aura on yours. The way that they held their book so tight that their fingers turned white. Worse, even, than waking up all sad and crampy. Yes, having someone who was mad at you really was the worst. It was almost like having someone not like you anymore…or maybe it was the same? When someone was mad at you then it could lead to someone not liking you anymore if you made them mad enough.
She didn't know what she would have done if Minegishi didn't like her anymore.
"What?" asked Minegishi, not looking up from their book. Mob ducked down behind her laptop. She didn't know if she wanted to look at them or not. The office had never felt so small before, but also so big. There was too much space between them and not enough and…and she didn't know which was worse.
This was very complicated.
She didn't want them to look at her, if she looked at them and they looked at her then they might have gotten madder, but if they didn't look at her and she didn't look at them then they would have thought that she was the one who didn't like them anymore or…or something like that. Friendship was complicated. It was even more complicated, it felt like, than liking someone or…or trying to figure out if she liked someone or….or whatever it had been between her and Serizawa.
She would rather have been with Serizawa than Minegishi. She wasn't sure how she felt about him but figuring it out would have been easier then sitting here with Minegishi and having them be mad at her…maybe.
"Nothing." Said Mob quickly. Minegishi sighed again. Mob peaked over the top of her laptop. They were shaking their head now. 'No.' She didn't know what they were shaking their head 'no' about. 'No' they didn't want to be there with her? 'No' they didn't want to be her friend anymore? 'No' they were mad that she had made them leave the sleepover last night even though they had left on their own but also they had left because she had fought with them and there had been no reason to fight because it wasn't a bad thing if she liked someone, at least she didn't think that it was, and why did everyone else get to find someone who loved them but her? Dad had someone and Sho had someone and Minegishi had someone and Shibata and Tsuchiya had each other and even the hamsters had each other but she didn't have anyone and-
"Not 'nothing'. You've been staring at me all day. What?" asked Minegishi
"It's nothing! I mean I just thought…." Said Mob
"You just thought what?" asked Minegishi
"…thoughts?" asked Mob
"Thoughts." Said Minegishi. They said it like they weren't asking a question, they were just…saying what she had said. Mob had no idea what she was supposed to do with that information. Now she knew how Dad felt every single time he had to talk to someone. Was this how it was going to be from now on? Was she going to end up like Dad? Not being able to talk to anyone without getting mad because she didn't know what people were saying and then she would be mean to people and then nobody would like her anymore and then…and then everything would be like it was with Dad and then she would be sitting at this desk when she was old and forty and her only friend would be Fukuda-
She couldn't think of anything worse.
"Um…yes? Thoughts…that I have…that are in my head." Said Mob
"Thoughts? Actual, functional, thoughts?" asked Minegishi. She knew what that meant, they had asked a question, but…but now she was going to have to answer it. She didn't know what she was supposed to do now? Tell them her thoughts? But she didn't even know her own thoughts. It was like they were coming too fast for her to understand, like someone was running by and shouting something about her but she didn't know what. They just came and came and came…things that she wanted…things that she worried about….things that she didn't even know what she worried about and wanted…things that she wanted more than anything else in the world….
There was so much. Too much. And on top of all of that her stomach hurt….this morning couldn't get any worse.
"Yes…um…like I said. Thoughts." Said Mob quietly. She watched them over the top of her laptop. She got some kind of alert, someone had sent an email, one that she would read later. She had a lot to do today. There were a lot of things happening today. Things with the Awakened, things with the upper echelons, things with her family…there were so many things. She had so much to do just with Dad's birthday alone. It was nearly here but she didn't even know what he wanted. She wished that she had been younger, that she was so young that her biggest problem was figuring out what to get Dad for his birthday, not something like her best friend not liking her anymore because she wanted to have someone to love her and be with her and also do stuff with her…that she wanted them same things that everyone else got to have, Minegishi included.
There was a word for someone who said that something was wrong but then turned around and did it themselves, Mob just didn't remember it, thought she got the feeling that Minegishi would have known.
"So you do know how to think?" asked Minegishi
"Um…yes?" asked Mob
"Could have fooled me." said Minegishi with a shrug. Their phone vibrated again. They picked it up and unlocked it. The last thing that Mob heard was the sound of their phone unlocking. They didn't say anything, they didn't even move. They just sat there staring at their phone. She wished that they had said something else, even if it was something crazy like they were going to dye their hair back to black or that they were going to give up reading and switch to audiobooks, something to cover up the mean thing that they had just said to her.
"Um…." Said Mob
"Um, what?" asked Minegishi as they closed their phone and put it face down onto the couch. The couch squeaked when they put it down, she had never noticed how loud leather was, and…and she liked the noise, something between her and Minegishi, something that could maybe cover up what they were fighting about or…or not fighting about. Were they in a fight? She didn't know.
She just knew that she wanted them to be friends again, and nice to each other, but also that she wanted to lay down and wait this out. All of these bad feelings, inside and out.
"Nothing." Said Mob
"Back to this again?" asked Minegishi
"I…I don't know. I mean it is nothing but…but also something…but if I talk about what it is then we'll fight and maybe you won't like me anymore and I don't know what I would do if you didn't like me anymore." Said Mob. She looked all the way over the top of her laptop. Minegishi looked up over the top of their book. They phone vibrated again.
"I think…I think that someone is trying to call you or text you or…or maybe it was just an app. I don't know, I'm not Hatori, I don't know how to spy on people's phones and I don't really want to since phones are private." Said Mob
"It's either Matsuo or some app I should delete, one of the two." Said Minegishi
"If you want me to delete an app for you I can. I mean I used to do it for my Dad. He's not good at phones." Said Mob
"I'm thirty, he's fifty, I know how my phone works thank you." said Minegishi
"Or Hatori could-" said Mob
"I know how my phone works. Thank you." said Minegishi, a tone in their voice and their aura bright…they were mad about something. She may have been kind of clueless when it came to people but she knew her best friend better than she knew most people and they were mad…even though they had no reason to be. Mob was almost fourteen. She was old enough to like someone and to have them like her back and…and it wasn't a bad thing. Liking someone was only a bad thing when that person didn't like you back or…or the person who liked you was your best friend's boyfriend. She hadn't even liked Shimazaki that much. Sure it had been nice how he had always listened to her when something bothered her, and how he never treated her like a kid, and how…other stuff…was but she hadn't been in love with him. Mob wasn't sure if she had ever been in love with anyone before, she had thought that she had been in love with Teru but he had turned out to be a heartbreaking jerk, but she knew that she wanted to be…and she knew that Maybe Serizawa could have been the person that she fell in love with. He was nice to her, he always wanted to hang out with her, he always listened to her when something bothered her, and he was really tall and nice and laying down in his arms was the best feeling ever. So warm and safe and…and just….good.
How could something that felt good be bad?
"I never said that you didn't. I just thought that you might be frustrated and mad and…and I just wanted to make sure that you weren't mad at…I don't want you to be mad." Said Mob
"Again with this?" asked Minegishi
"Well, you're mad again and I don't like it when you're mad so, I mean, I guess yes? Again with this, I mean." Said Mob
"Can you just drop it? You talking about how pissed off I am is just going to make me even more pissed off and, really, I don't need another reason to be pissed off right now." said Minegishi
"What's making you feel that way? Maybe I can help? I mean if it's not me then I can help and if it is me then…then please don't still be mad at me about what you were mad about before, ok? I just…I don't like it when you're mad at me." said Mob
"Mob, can you just…ok. Just listen to me. There are so many things pissing me off right now, Mob, and my phone isn't one of them, so drop it." said Minegishi
"Oh, ok…um…is it who's on your phone? I mean are you and Matsuo fighting?" asked Mob. She hoped that she hadn't sounded hopeful, there, because she wasn't. She wanted Minegishi and Matsuo to be happy together. Of course Minegishi belonged with Shimazaki, they were made for each other like strawberries and milk or Anna and Kristoff, but Minegishi didn't want to be with him anymore and…and it was kind of Mob's fault so the least that she could do was try and be happy that Minegishi had found happiness with their other boyfriend. If they were unhappy with him them then…then they could meet someone else and maybe…maybe a part of her might have been relieved that they hadn't been mad at her.
A selfish part, but she could be kind of selfish sometimes. She didn't like that about herself but that was just the way that she was.
"Matsuo and I are perfectly fine. He just seems to think…a lot of things, things that you don't need to know about." Said Minegishi
"What don't I need to know about?" asked Mob
"Things that I know that if you know about you'll go out and do something stupid." Said Minegishi
"I wouldn't do anything stupid. I don't even like him like that." Said Mob quietly. Of course they thought that she was after their boyfriend, they had every reason to feel that way. She had slept with their last boyfriend after all and that wasn't the kind of thing that a person could just forget. It didn't matter how many times Mob said that she wanted everyone to stop talking about it, to forget about it, to get back to normal. There was no getting back to normal after doing…stuff like that with someone who you weren't supposed to…but Mob was never going to do that again!
So, really, Minegishi had nothing to worry about and they could stop worrying and then Mob could stop worrying about how they were feeling and then they could be friends again, as good of friends as they had been before.
"I know, Mob, I know." said Minegishi as they slammed their book shut. The noise cut through the room. It was quiet, too quiet, afterwards. Mob had to say something but she didn't know what. They had said that they did know, and they had been loud about saying it, so she believed them…but they seemed mad…and now it felt like the anger was hanging in the air around them. Mob knew that she had to say something but she had no idea what…and with not knowing what to say the ideas in her head had space to grow. Soon it felt like she was full of ideas, of words, and they were trying to come out. She had to say something…it was all coming up. She held her stomach.
She felt like she was going to be sick, and not the normal kind of sick.
"I…um…" said Mob
"You know that's not what I'm worried about, right? Not that I would put it past you at this point." Said Minegishi
"I would never! I mean I wouldn't ever do that to you again. I thought that you thought that it was ok, before, but now I know that it isn't and that it would hurt you so…so I won't do that again and you don't have to worry about me and Matsuo-" said Mob
"Then who else do I have to worry about? Serizawa? Hatori? Shibata? Whatever random guy gives you the time of day?" asked Minegishi
"Minegishi! That's not…I don't even know if he likes me and I know that he doesn't want to do that stuff with me and-and I can't even do stuff like that right now anyway because of…of reasons-" said Mob
"So you didn't sleep with Serizawa? Good for you. You didn't sleep with the thirty year old former hikikomori. Declare a national holiday." said Minegishi rolling their eyes.
"I…what? No, no, I would never declare a holiday because someone didn't want to do stuff with me-" said Mob
"You can't even say it. You think that you're mature enough to handle all of this but you can't even get the words out." Said Minegishi
"I can! I mean I can but I don't want to because…because it's a private thing that you shouldn't talk about in public." Said Mob. There, that was a good reason. It wasn't the exact reason but she didn't know how to say the exact reason. She didn't want to talk about it because…because she didn't want to talk about it. She didn't want to talk about how she wanted to feel good with someone who loved her, how she wanted someone to love her, how she…how she had figured out what she wanted and that she wanted that with someone who loved her and she loved back…not that she loved Serizawa…but she did really like him. It hadn't been weird with him, not like it had been with Shimazaki and especially Joseph, it had felt kind of fast and a little scary but not in a bad way. Just a nervous way and…and nervous was ok. Not bad. Good. Right. The whole thing had been right and then it had all just been so…so warm and safe and…and she had no idea what the word for that feeling was!
Minegishi would have known, having been in love so many times before, but she wasn't going to ask them about these sorts of feelings. They just…they were hers and hers alone. That was all.
"I didn't know that this was public." Said Minegishi
"The…the door is opened…right now." Said Mob. Minegishi rolled their eyes and reached out with their aura. The spider plant near the door grew a long vine and the door slammed shut. The slam seemed to suck the rest of the noise out of the room. Mob didn't know what to say. She didn't want to say it. She didn't know where to start and…and she didn't want to figure it out. Why did Minegishi care so much what she did? She wasn't a kid anymore. She was an adult. She was young but that didn't mean that she couldn't be an adult. She was the one in charge here, Dad had trusted her enough to put her in charge even though he didn't like her that much anymore, and she had been in charge of her family for a long time before this. She wasn't dumb. She didn't even know why Minegishi thought that she was dumb, or what they were worried would happen.
People met each other, fell in love, and had babies all the time. That was how it worked.
That was how it had worked with her parents, anyway. Mom and Dad had met at a train station. They had just run into each other and then a year later she had been born and then Sho and then they had been a family together. Why did it matter how old she was? So what if Mom had been thirty year old when Mob had been born? Mob was almost fourteen, that was sixteen years younger, and the only thing that being so much younger meant was that whoever she fell in love with was just going to be someone she had more time with and…and if she had Shoko or Shigeo then she would have even more time with them until she died!
Died, not left. She would never leave her family even if someone tried to drag her away kicking and screaming like Mukai at bath time.
"Well?" asked Minegishi
"Well…what? I mean what's well? I mean…I don't know what I mean." Said Mob
"If you're so mature then prove it." Said Minegishi
"I-I never said that I was mature. I just said that I wasn't a kid anymore." Said Mob. Mature? She didn't know if she liked that word. Mature meant that you spent all day doing things like reading and drinking tea and acting like you were Dad's age…or Minegishi's age since that was what they mostly did all day. Mob didn't want to be mature. She just wanted…she just didn't want to be a kid anymore.
"Fine, then prove that you're an adult…because I don't really think that you are. I think that you aren't nearly as grown up as you think that you are. I think that you're playing with fire, going to get burned, and then when you get burned you're going to come running to me to cover you in burn ointment." Said Minegishi
"But…why would I play with fire? I never did that, even when I was a kid, and if I burned myself I would just put butter on it by myself or go to Fukuda, I guess, if it was a really bad burn." Said Mob. Minegishi shook their head.
"Not literally, Mob, not literally….of course you took it literally. You're such a…you know what? I'm going to break this down for you as clearly as I can. Are you listening?" asked Minegishi
"Yes…but please try and be clear. I don't know what you mean but I'm getting the feeling that you're mad at me and I don't know why, especially since you said that you don't think that I'm going to try and steal Matsuo from you. I would never do that! Not with him or anyone you like…or with Hatori or Shibata either. Hatori is my brother now and Shibata is…Shibata. Even if he wasn't Tsuchiya's boyfriend I still wouldn't want to be with him and…and I wouldn't want to be with anyone who gave me the time of day, either. I don't even need someone to tell me the time. I have a phone." Said Mob
"And if you didn't?" asked Minegishi
"I would probably just buy a watch?" said Mob. Minegishi made a face like they were about to laugh. She didn't know what was so funny about all of this. She didn't even know what they were talking about…she hated not knowing what was going on. She wanted to lay down and smoke and just wait this out. She didn't need a headache. Her stomach hurt and she was tired and she and Sho might have been fighting and she and Minegishi might have been fighting and…and she didn't need to add to her list of problems!
"You would, wouldn't you?" asked Minegishi
"Um…yes?" asked Mob
"You know not everything is that simple, right? Life doesn't work like that. Life is…it's messy, Mob, and I don't want you life to get any messier than it is. I don't want you to fuck everything up-" said Minegishi
"I'm not going to f-word anything up!" said Mob
"-and worse than it already is. I have told you and told you and told you before so many times how utterly idiotic it is that you want to have a baby at your age. You won't listen and I don't know what to do…I mean I know what to do. I have to stay here, at your side, for the rest of our lives otherwise you're going to end up pregnant from a thirty year old former shut in." said Minegishi. They started talking really fast by the end even though there was no reason to hurry. They were there, together, and they had all…well not ALL day, she had things to do, but she always had time for them even if they were talking about things that they just…that they didn't know what they were talking about.
Not at all.
"Minegishi! I just…I don't want to have a baby with him! I mean I just….I want someone to love me and someone who I love and I don't want…I don't know what I want. I mean I think that I like him but I don't know and, anyway, we didn't do anything and I don't think that he wants to and-and I can't even right now because of reasons and…and I just…I just want to love someone and to love me back. Why is that such a bad thing?" asked Mob quietly
"It's not a bad thing, it's just not…you're too young to make big choices like this. I mean it's your life and your body but…but when I was your age I made a lot of mistakes that I wish that I could take back and I don't want you to feel that way. Or to ruin your life. That's also an option." Said Minegishi
"But I'm not you. I'm not going to make the same mistakes you did and…and I'm not going to ruin my life, either. Besides, I don't think that your mistakes were mistakes because…because everything that you did in your life makes you the person that you are today and I love the person that you are today. You're my best friend and I love you. Even when you make me feel bad about myself and the things I want I still love you." said Mob. Minegishi didn't say anything for a long time. They got a look on their face, and then another, and then another. Their phone vibrated again and they ignored it. Eventually they wiped their eyes and got up.
"I love you too, Mob, and…and it sounds like you need Midol and a hot cup of tea so just…yeah. Just stay here." Said Minegishi. They didn't wait for her to tell them that she didn't need anything like that, that she was fine the way she was, that she kind of wanted them to be there with her even though they were being kind of mean. They just got up and left.
They left her all alone.
"Bye…" said Mob. She watched the door as it swung shut. The plant hadn't closed it, no, it had gone back to normal a while ago. Now it was just her in the room, in the closed room, in the room that was just…just hers. She put her hand to her stomach. She didn't like this. She didn't like being alone and…and she didn't know what she wanted right now…
Minegishi's phone vibrated again.
She wanted to bring them their phone! She practically jumped up out of the chair. Minegishi needed their phone! Even if it was just an app notification they still needed it! She grabbed it with her powers and checked it. She just checked the notifications, that was all, to see if they really needed it and…it wasn't an app. No, it was Matsuo. She couldn't help but see the beginning of the text under his name…a name without a heart. That was just…not how you were supposed to have your boyfriend's name in your phone, but that wasn't what Mob was worried about now.
No, she could worry about that later.
Right now she was worried about what looked like a warning. The first half of the message said something about not going after…something. Something that was cut off. She wasn't Hatori, she didn't like to go through people's things, and she knew that it was wrong to snoop but if someone was in danger…if Minegishi was in danger….
She unlocked Minegishi's phone.
She knew their pattern. She opened their messages and made sure to only see what she had to see and…oh. The spirit. Matsuo was telling Minegishi to keep her away from it, and to stay away from it themselves, and that it had already possibly killed someone….she kept scrolling. She scrolled and scrolled until she got to pictures of weird stickers and pins. This was…she knew that the work that they did was dangerous. She knew that people got hurt all the time. She knew that Dad had special people he hired just to get rid of bodies…and Matsuo had been asking if he should have called them…Minegishi used to work for them…she didn't want to think about that right now. Someone had gotten hurt, badly, maybe even badly enough to die and…and….and she had to fix this!
She had to save them.
This was more important than anything that she was feeling right now. She needed…she needed to talk to Dad. He had told her to stay away from the spirit so maybe he already had someone on this…or maybe the person who he had sent to deal with this was the person who had maybe even died…she didn't know! She didn't know but-but she was going to find out! She ran over to her desk and picked up her phone. She went to her messenger app and….oh. Messages from Hatori, a lot of them, telling her to stay away from the spirit. There was even a map with a bunch of pins in it of places that she was supposed to stay away from.
She knew where she would start looking.
It was like all of her bad feelings, all of her wants and worries, had decided to leave the room. Now it was just her and what she had to do. This was important, more important than love and everything that came with it, even more important than her best friend being mad at her. This was so much more important than all of that. She wasn't a kid anymore, she knew what was important, and she knew what she had to do. She had to do the opposite of what Dad had said. She could exorcise a spirit. She hadn't had much experience doing exorcisms but she knew that she was strong. There was no spirit that she had ever seen that was stronger than her. She could do this. She would do this. She would save everyone who had gotten hurt or would get hurt.
She had thought that having someone be mad at you was the worst feeling in the world but being killed or hurt by spirits…well, that had to have been a lot worse.