The Jay Horror Picture Show

Summary: In honour of April Fool's and my insane ideas I present to you the most intentionally disturbing fic I could ever write.

Challenge/Dare by: Lian and Vriendelijkis; name sayers Tribal Rose and Angelic Madness edged me further into doing it so they get credit too.

Pairings: You would know if you read 'twas the night

Rating: PG 13 for descriptions of the movie that was rated R however it's not very detailed nor is it graphic

Must have: Lex as Frankie

Cast of characters:

Lex- Frank'n'furter (the drag queen)

Bray- Riff Raff (the hunch back)

Amber- Magenta (the maid with the really big dark reddish hair and pale face)

Zandra – Columbia (the girl with the tap shoes, bright straight red hair, and gold hat)

Ebony- Janet (the ultimate gag reel) (the woman half naked with curly hair (Susan S.))

Slade- Brad (so very wrong again) (the guy with the glasses)

Jay- Rocky Horror (the blonde half naked guy)

Ram- Dr. Scott (wheelchair old man)

Ryan- Eddie (the guy on the motorbike (played by meatloaf))

Criminologist (don't even ask)

Disclaimer: Cloud 9 owns the tribe; the brilliant people that invented rocky own it; and I just am using the madness to create a masterpiece of weird.

8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8

(Backstage)

"HAS ANYONE SEEN MY FISHNETS?" Lex screamed looking around frantically before the show.

"Check Slade's closet," a voice called from the side.

Lex walked over the closet and grabbed it out, "Thanks Ruby, you're one in a million- I can't believe I'm doing this- anyone have vodka lying around?"

It was every year event, Christmas time- the local acting agency put on plays. The year before they had done, 'Twas the night before Christmas ((A/N: see thread 'Twas the night before Christmas for more details)).

This time Salene and Jay decided to go outside the box since they only could only book the theatre in October, the Rocky Horror Picture Show. The cult play from the 70's brought back to life. It had not been an easy task. Many of the cast had been digging their heels into not doing this.

They had yet again gotten Tai-san to blackmail Lex into being Frankie- their lead- as they felt no one else had a stage talent quite like his. Bray had volunteered himself as Riff-Raff and gotten Ebony to submit to Janet.

No one dare mention that Janet was actually Caucasian, knowing she'd turn in the other direction and walk out. Amber and Slade proving they were as brave as the two people they had crushes on jumped at the roles of Brad and Magenta.

Java had convinced Ram to be Dr. Scott; Zandra who wanted her own chance at fame jumped to Columbia and convinced Ryan to be Eddie… everything was set in stone except Rocky Horror himself.

(Flashback)

"Jay, we still need Rocky Horror," Salene turned and said to him.

"I know but no one volunteered," he replied looking at her.

"Jay…. I know this a lot to ask… but it's for my birthday…" Salene began slowly.

Jay's eyes widened- "Oh no, no way- you want ME to be Rocky are you crazy?" he said looking at her.

Salene nodded, "Please Jay- please- I'm your girlfriend, and the director… and I work so hard…"

Jay sighed and looked at her- she wasn't going to stop till he agreed, "Okay- okay. I'll be Rocky".

"THANK YOU JAY, you're the best, I love you," she replied kissing him on the cheek and grabbing her clipboard and racing off.

Jay hung his head, "I am so going to die".

(Flashback ends)

As Lex was getting his fishnets in the corner of the room Ebony and Slade we're talking. Ebony was still very much with Bray but Slade- chasing right after her.

"You ready Janet?" Slade asked in a teasing voice as he came out dressed in the normal dress wear for the play.

Ebony looked at him in her pink silk shirt and long pink skirt, "This is going to be torture- hey where are the glasses?" she asked him.

"Josh is lending me his," Slade replied.

Ebony quirked her eyebrow, "You're kidding!"

"Nope"

Ebony stifled a laugh, "Oh that is…. There is no words for that," she replied.

"Where's the boyfriend?" Slade said changing the subject.

"Getting the hunch perfected and his hair dyed," she reported rolling her eyes.

Recently, his friendship with Amber had been starting to get on her nerves. The fact that she saw him talking to Amber in the dressing room with her in that short maid dress- had not made her day.

As if on cue, Josh walked up and handed Slade the glasses, "Let me give you speech now, these are in any way- damaged, injured, harmed, dirty, or mistreated- brother or not- I will snap your spine. I am blind without them. That is blind. B-L-I-N-D. So in short, IF ANYTHING HAPPENS TO THEM- I WILL KILL YOU," he said in a very sharp tone.

"How are you going to see during the show?" Slade asked him finally.

"I brought my contacts- Java threatened me if I didn't go through this torture with her," he said dryly walking off.

Slade shook his head as Josh left- it was almost funny. Almost.

"Is something going on between them?" Ebony asked looking at Slade.

"Not that I'm aware of…" Slade answered looking at this brother.

"I better go get my other attire over here- I'll be back," she said wordlessly leaving.

(Other side of the stage)

Zandra was applying cuts to Ryan's head as he threw on his jean uniform.

"Almost done," she replied eagerly already in her silver and gold glittered styled outfit with gold top hat, red tap shoes, fishnet, and white make-up in place. Her hair had been smoothed straight and down as she looked over Ryan.

"You should be good- just don't rip the jeans getting on the bike again- and remember kick stands need to be flat down," she reminded him.

(Earlier that week)

"EDDIE?" Zandra shouts as Ryan comes flying out the stage side on Slade's bike as heads down the stage and towards Lex.

Instead of hearing "Whatever happened to Saturday night?" from Eddie, instead all they heard was a grunt and Ryan make a sharp jerk of the bike.

Lex looked at him- as the song grew on- it was apparent the act that Eddie didn't know to drive- was more than an act.

"Eddie…. You're a little too close- Eddie- RYAN" Lex shouted.

"I CAN'T STOP," Ryan yelled in response leaving Lex to run and jump off the stage as Ryan and the bike went flipping over the side.

"RYAN!" Zandra screamed.

"MY BIKE," Slade screamed in response, Slade then gave Jay a sharp look, "This is all your fault- you and the girlfriends'- I suggest you fix it or else" he warned from the side turning and walking off stage.

Salene looked down at Ryan and then at Jay- and then at Slade, "Well that went well".

(Flashback ends)

"Yea, I'll remember that…" Ryan replied somewhat defensively.

Zandra looked at him, "I didn't mean it that way but this it- we can't afford anymore accidents".

"Yea, I know. I'll be careful," Ryan replied getting up and racing off.

(Dressing room)

Lex stood in front of the mirror with his fishnets, short outfit covering his well lower half, his corset, pearl necklace, and feather. His hair had been tucked beneath and curled big hair wig and now he was looking at Tai-san.

"I look like a freak"

"That's the idea Lex," Tai-san reminded him.

"Babe…"

"Don't start Lex- if you want to work out energies later tonight then I suggest you stop it," she said seriously (ie if he wanted sex)

Lex looked at her, "Fine".

"EVERYONE WE'RE STARTING IN FIVE," Salene shouted.

Lex sighed and looked at Tai-san who was in equally weird get up- as she was one of many people forced into the role of the members of the party that night for the dance number "The time warp".

"Let's go get this over with".

(The show- Time warp song 4)

Brad and Janet had finally arrived to Frankenstein place after being stuck in the rain when they're car blew a tire- and the famous dammit Janet song where Brad asks Janet to marry him.

"It's astounding. Time is fleeting. Madness takes its toll. But listen closely," Bray began in dress wear of Riff Raff as Amber cut him off.

"But not for very much longer..." Amber chimed in from the side.

….

"Let's do the Time Warp again. Let's do the Time Warp again," the group of people cut in as Brad and Janet looked on shocked in their normal attire- with these people in these funky clothes in hat sang loud in a strange line doing an odd dance.

Tai-san, Mega, Java, Salene, KC, Cloe, Ved… and company had all be sucked into the dance number and looked so comical Ebony had to turn her head to stifle a laugh. Slade however true his character seemed horrified.

And then stuttering up the middle was Zandra in her bright costume singing in the most annoying voice.

"Well I was walking down the street..."

While on the other side of the stage was the Criminologist going, "It's just a jump to left..."

"And a step to the riiiiggghhhhhtttt" the others added from the side.

(Minutes later)

A loud scream fills the room as Lex comes from the side dressed up as Frankie walking in singing, "I'm just a sweet transvestite.."

Lex though looked totally miserable and that did cause Ebony a sneer. And as the seen shifted Ebony waited eagerly for Jay to show.

Lex went to bring Rocky to life and then out comes Jay in nothing but a golden style tight underwear.

"The Sword of Damocles is hanging over my head..." he began as he got up from the stage pit.

Now it was time for the hitch, Ryan and the motorbike that had been wrong every night so far. The music played and then the loud crash came.

"EDDIE" Zandra screams again... and the wait Ryan comes from the ramp.

"Whatever happened to Saturday night..." he began as he raced down the stage.

Discreetly Slade wiped his forehead, "Thank god," he muttered to Ebony.

Ebony laughed and then they moved on.

(An hour later)

Finally, the ending song came on. "Science fiction- double feature..."

The cast then from the side wiped their heads, "Oh thank-" Lex replied.

Salene looked at them, "You guys did it," she replied.

"Yea- now for the curtain call," Ebony muttered as they ran towards the sound of the cheering.

8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8

A/N: A little bit different than usual hope it was liked.