Morning rounds are always a little rough. This morning, rougher than usual. My first day back. No Bailey. Addison is still in the picture. Oh, and Alex and Izzy are driving everyone absolutely crazy. Enter a supply closet at your own risk.

"Good morning everybody. Until Bailey gets back, or until we find another willing resident, the attendings will be taking turns rounding with you in the mornings and making assignments. Okay, let's go. Dr. Stevens, you're with Dr. Burke. O'Malley, you're with Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd. Karev—you get to cover the pit today. Yang, you're with me, and Grey, welcome back. You're with Shepherd."

The chief finished listing assignments and took off toward the room of the first of our patients.

"I'll trade with you, Christina." I needed more coffee.

"You know I would, too. Spending the day with the chief'll probably be boring." She turned to me and rolled her eyes. "Her maternity leave just started and I'm counting the days until Bailey's back. She's always good for a challenge, some excitement. Something."

"So, how're things with Burke?" What I was really wanting to know was, "Have you told him you love him yet?"

"We're OK. I think things are good," Her eyes took on a far off look, and, all of a sudden, she seemed deep in thought.

"Yang. We're ready for you to present on Mr. Johnston's condition…"

-----

"Dr. Shepherd. Hi. What've we got this morning?"

"Meredith, how are you feeling?"

"I'm feeling pretty good. I had way too much time to catch up on sleep, Izzie baked things, like, every day. I was bored out of my mind. But having a few days to relax was really great."

"Well, that's good to hear…Listen. We've got four patients to round on, and our first case is at eight—an Anterior Cervical Fusion. So we'd better get started." He pointed in the general direction of our first patient's room.

-----

We stood at the scrub sink before the Fusion, Derek quiet and seemingly preoccupied. I was wishing I'd had more coffee. That week of sleeping late had really spoiled me.

"Meredith, about that night…" The night of the bomb scare.

"I signed the papers last week." Just like that, he said it. And he kept scrubbing, his eyes averted, staring blankly at the brush in his hand.

"She's willing to go through with it?" I asked, afraid to look up at him.

"She knows it's time. Wants to get on with things. Knows it's for the best."

"Well, congratulations." What am I supposed to say? I'm glad you're getting rid of your wife? You were supposed to choose me in the first place?

"Thank you. It'll be nice to have my life back."

He tossed the brush, finished rinsing his arms, and released the pedal, ending the stream of water into the sink. I watched him enter the OR and dry his hands. Oh, and, do you think that I'm ready to move on, too? Do you think that you'll immediately have me back?

-----

I spotted Christina at one of the tables. I was glad to see it was just her. I wasn't ready to tell everyone else.

"Did you hear, Mere?"

"Hear what?"

"McDreamy signed the papers." I guess everyone already knew.

"When did you hear this?" Am I the last one?

"George told me this morning. The ex-McDreamy's not in such a great mood. She's been riding his ass all day."

"He told me this morning, before surgery." I confessed.

"And?" Christina leaned in, wide-eyed.

"And, I don't know. I don't know what to do, to think. I mean, I think I love him. And this is what I've been waiting for, right? But taking him back right away seems so…"

"Pathetic?"

"Thanks, Christina. Was that you being supportive again? But, yes, it feels a little pathetic. I gave him a choice. He picked her. It was the noble thing, and the honorable thing, trying to save his marriage. But he picked her. Not me. Is it wrong to be pathetic and waiting around when he comes to his senses?"

"Mere, we all know how much he hurt you. As much as he's been acting like an indecisive McAsshole, I know he really cares about you. Whether you take him back--that's gotta be your thing to decide."

-----

The day was almost over, and had turned out better than I'd expected this morning. I was heading toward the locker room and, all of a sudden, there he was.

"Meredith!" It was as if everything around us stopped. Damn it.

"Can I stop by tonight?" This was sooner than I'd expected.

"I don't know if it's a good idea," I answered, with hesitation.

"C'mon Mere. I can just come over for a little while. You can kick me out if I overstay my welcome." Those eyes. That grin. How could a girl stand a chance?

"As long as it's only for a little while. Izzy's making dinner tonight. Be there at 6:30."

"Allright, I'll see you then." A quick, soft smile touched his lips.

"Allright then." What did I just do? He stood there as I turned to walk away.

And, under my breath, as I walked to my locker, "What did I do? What did I do, what did I do, What did I do…?"

-----

The doorbell rang. Six-thirty. He was right on time.

I was wearing khaki pants, a black turtleneck sweater, and the scent of Lavender conditioner in my hair. The pit-of-my-stomach nervous queasiness was undermining my efforts to be carefree and happy tonight.

My hand on the doorknob, I paused. McDreamy's on the other side of that door.

"Hi, Mere." Eyes shining. He looked amazing. "These are for you." He handed me an large bouquet of red roses mingled with other brightly-colored fresh flowers. And dried lavender. It was beautiful.

"Derek, I'm impressed," I said, smiling. He slipped his arm around my waist as we walked in.

"Wine, too," He held it up, in his other hand. "I had to do this right. I've got a lot to make up for," His eyes twinkled. "I mean it, Mer."

"Hi Izzy." We entered the kitchen, the smells of rosemary and the beef roast that Izzy'd been working on drifting through the air. "Something smells great."

"Hi Dr. Shepherd. Thanks! Meredith, those are beautiful! Let me get you a vase." Izzy fluttered around the kitchen in her apron, retrieving a large crystal vase from the cabinet next to the sink.

"Izzy, can we help?" I asked, knowing that I'd probably have to give up the warmth of Derek's arm around my waist. That was okay, though. It almost seemed too familiar. Nice, but too much. Too soon.

"Sure. Do you guys want to set the table?

"Sure," I heard Derek say as he leaned down and planted a kiss on my temple. He released the arm around my waist and moved to get the dishes.

"Alex should be here any minute. And George should be back soon. I sent him to get dessert." She pointed toward McDreamy. "He remembers where the dishes are; that's a good sign."

"Yeah," I sighed. "It feels good, comfortable. Almost new, though. It's weird."

"What are you girls talking about?"

"Oh nothing, " Izzie and I said, almost in unison.

------

The dinner was amazing. George was there, and seemed exhausted. I think I caught him nodding off a few times. Izzy chatted with Alex throughout the meal. And Derek, well…everytime I stole a glance, he was staring at me.

After the meal, we went outside and sat on the front step.

"I'm not going to be easy on you, ya' know." I smiled coyly and rested my head on his shoulder.

"That's OK, Mere. I deserve it." He gently rubbed my back, then settled his arm around my shoulders. "I won't give up."

"Is she leaving town?"

"I'm not sure. Richard made her quite an offer. She signed a contract—left her practice in Manhattan. It's not so easy to just…pick up and go back."

"But she moved out. Right?"

"Yes, she moved out. To a hotel. No more trailer. Wait a minute—why, exactly, are we talking about my ex-wife?"

"Because you picked her," I said, sardonically. I felt the tears begin to well. I'm not going to cry. I have to be stronger than this! But slowly, the tears trickled down my face, betraying my attempt at composure.

"Mere," spoken almost brokenly, the tenderness in his voice caused me to look up at him. He lifted my chin, bringing my lips closer. They brushed his, gently.

I can't do this! "Derek, I can't." I shrugged his arm off of my shoulder and got up, arms folded, shoulders sagging. I quickly darted into the house and started up the stairs.

"Meredith—wait!"

I made it into my room and, as I shut the door behind me, Derek forced it back open. "Mere. Talk to me. Don't shut me out."

All of the fear, and the anger, and the vulnerability was churning in me. It took all I had not to scream at him and pound him with my…whatever he called them--ineffectual fists.

"You want me to talk to you! You want me to talk to you? Okay. Um, you were married. You were flirty and fun and...great! And I fell in love with you, and you were married! And then she was here, and she was at the hospital, and you were married! But, then, she gave you divorce papers. And you had the opportunity to sign them and you didn't. You left me—alone. Do you have any idea how alone I feel? I hated you, and then I forgave you. And I still loved you. And every now and then, you were really nice to me. And you gave me hope. But you were married!" I turned away from him, sobbing. The rage slowly dissipating, replaced with sadness. Loneliness.

Coming from behind, he wrapped his arms around me, burying his face in my neck. He held on as though letting go would be the end of him. I turned to face him and, through my tears, I could see that his eyes were wet too. He reached to cup my face in his hands, tipping his head slightly as he leaned to brush his lips against mine.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered raggedly, "I'm so sorry I put you through this. I'm sorry I left you feeling all alone. I'm sorry that I didn't pick you…"

I leaned closer, melting in his arms. He steered me around the bed, and gently eased me down on its edge. I felt the soft, fluffiness of the duvet under me as he eased my legs up onto the mattress. And, within a second, he was lying next to me, holding me tightly and stroking my hair.

-----

I awoke startled. Hmm…I must've fallen asleep. I turned to the clock.

1:30 am

As I rolled onto my back, I felt something.

"Hey," he said gently. He's here. In my bed. I rolled over to face him.

"Were you asleep?" He was leaning on his elbow, head resting on his fist.

"Not really," he smiled. "But you were. I enjoyed watching." He yawned.

"What were you thinking about?"

"Oh, nothing…you…ferryboats…surgery…the fact that I've seen you naked," He flashed a lopsided grin. "The fact that, the last time I was on this bed, you were naked."

I sank my fingers into his thick, curly hair, grazing his scalp with my fingertips. His eyelids fluttered and closed briefly.

"Maybe I'd like to see you naked this time. Now. In my bed." I was trying to sound seductive, but probably just sounded exhausted. But it'd been a long time. Why not? "What do you say?"

"Dr. Grey, are you propositioning me?" Coy, even at one in the morning.

"C'mon. Give me what you've got, " I dreamily challenged, smiling, "Seduce me, McDreamy." "And you'd better make it good," I laughed, "Because we're both going to be really tired at work tomorrow."

He rolled off the bed and, within seconds, his clothes were off and he was back beside me.

He reached to my waist and roughly pulled me closer. His lips met mine, softly at first, quickly becoming more intense. His tongue caressed mine, teasing and tempting. His hands drifted beneath my sweater, easing the fabric up, and softly rubbing the skin underneath. He eased my sweater further up and lifted my shoulders slightly as he pulled the garment over my head.

His lips and tongue continued to tease mine as his fingertips trailed over my waist, my navel, and down to my pants. He slowly unbuttoned them and slid his hands underneath. I shivered, feeling goose bumps on my arms and my stomach, a passionate heat beginning to grow. His lips trailed to my chin and my neck. His teeth grazed my earlobe, as he took it into his mouth. As his delicate kisses worked their way downward, he slid my pants down onto my thighs. He unfastened my bra and slid it off.

I'm glad I wore a lacy one.

"Much better," he said, grinning. He took my nipple into his mouth, rolling his tongue around it. He gently used his teeth, his breath, his lips, as the stirring heat overtook my body. As his mouth moved toward my other breast, his hands continued their passionate torture. He kneaded the soft skin of my inner thighs. Roaming. Tickling. He drew the top of my underwear down, pulling them to just above my knees. He briefly sat up and pulled my panties and khakis the rest of the way off.

His hands were back, massaging my thighs as his lips moved to my navel. His fingers touched and teased, trailing a path between my legs, reaching the tiny nub, and adding to the growing heat within me. He spread my lips, now kissing my most private places and using his tongue to tease my clitoris. He wrapped his arms around my legs, using his fingers to spread my folds. His teeth across my clit, he circled it with his tongue, flicking and sucking. My hips arched toward him.

"Oh God, Derek." I told him to make it good.

He slid his fingers inside me, and I writhed to meet him, my body pulsing as he continued with his lips and tongue.

And then I was there, waves of heat bursting through my body. I gasped for breath, moaning as it completely overtook my being.

"In the nightstand?" He asked, raggedly. I nodded.

He tore the wrapper and quickly slid the condom on. Slowly, I felt him slide into me. Hands on my waist, he trailed kisses along my neck, teasing my earlobes as he slowly moved inside of me. I felt myself tightening again, waves spreading through my legs and torso. I writhed underneath him as he thrusted within me. I felt his arms and his abs start to tighten, and heard his breathing become rough.

"Mere?" My eyes closed, I nodded hastily.

As he gasped for breath, I felt him pulsating inside me, his body tensing. And then he was done. As he rested on top of me, I opened my eyes. And as I searched his face thinking, "How did I resist him earlier tonight?" I noticed a tear trickling down his cheek. I brushed it away with my fingertips, tracing the lines of his face.

"Meredith," he smiled weakly and rolled to my side, "Is this the wrong time to tell you how much I've missed you? And that I love you?"

"It might be," I said, grinning, "But I want you to tell me over and over. So, I guess that there aren't many wrong times."

"I do…love you, " he pulled me closer, "and I'm never going to let you question that again."

And as I laid there, staring at the ceiling, I decided to believe him.
My McDreamy. Laying in my McBed. Back in my McLife. For good.