Meredith had been trying to hide yawns all day. And she hadn't been hiding them well.
"Tired, Grey?" Addison's eyebrows were raised, glowering as she looked Meredith over. "Funny, my soon-to-be ex-husband seems to be quite tired this morning. I saw him earlier, and he looked like hell. Was in good spirits, but looked like hell."
"Oh really?" Meredith asked innocently. She hadn't seen Derek all day.
"Really."
Addison's expression softened, "I'm sorry we never had a chance to become friends, Meredith. I think that we would've gotten along well…that is, if you hadn't been you and I hadn't been me." She looked away for a moment.
"I'm sorry that I ruined the new life that the two of you had begun. I really needed to try before I gave in—before I let our marriage be over," she let out a long sigh, "But I know that the past few months have been hell for you. And I'm sorry. I really am."
"I'm sorry that I didn't know that he was married. I wouldn't have slept with him, you know."
"I know."
"What are you going to do now, Dr Shep—Addison?
"I really don't know. I've been thinking about trying to get my job in New York back. Maybe they haven't found a replacement yet. I really love Manhattan." She continued, wistfully, "Derek has a large family. But I'm an only child and my parents have both passed away. So my colleagues in New York are now the only family I've got." She looked down at her shoes, "Well, I've got some patients to see," she began to walk away, and commanded over her shoulder, "Get some coffee, Grey!"
Meredith leaned at the nurses' station for a moment, thoughtful.
"Dr. Grey," Derek came creeping out from an office near the nurses' station. "I've missed you today."
"I've missed you, too. What were you doing back there?"
"Hiding! You and Addison seemed to be having an intense chat. I certainly didn't want to interrupt. What was that all about?"
"She said I looked tired," she grinned, sheepishly, "She also said that her soon-to-be ex-husband looked tired this morning. Hmm…"
"We should sleep tonight."
"Yeah," she answered, "We should sleep tonight."
"So I can come over then," he said, as a question.
"Sure, Derek, you can come over."
----------
He drew her closer, nuzzling his face in the crook of her neck as they rested together. They were lying in her bed "spooning", with his arms around her waist.
"I never thought that we'd get back to this place."
"I didn't either. I'd lie there in the trailer thinking, 'What did I do?' I knew that I needed to give my wife a chance, but I didn't know what I'd do if I lost you forever. I didn't really expect things to work out between Addison and I. But I needed to try. I laid in bed every night wondering if I'd ever have the chance to spend another one with you."
They lay there quietly for a few minutes.
"What do you want out of life, Derek?"
"What do you mean?"
"Did you and Addison want children? Do you want children? Will you ever marry again? Do you want to stay in Seattle forever?"
"Well," he began slowly," Addison and I both wanted children. My family is so large, every time I see my sisters they're asking, 'When are you two having kids of your own?' But, for now, I've had nieces and nephews to dote on. I love kids…and, as for marrying again, we'll have to just wait and see." He grinned.
"We!" She swatted him, playfully, "I didn't mean it that way. I wasn't fishing for commitment, I was just trying to gauge whether you were irreparably bitter and cynical about marriage as a whole."
"Oh. What I've got working for me," he paused to kiss her neck, "is that I knew divorce wasn't the end of love for me. I'd already found it again. If I'd never met you, I'd still be reeling from the affair. You helped me to move on, and to avoid bitter." He tightened his embrace, "Are you bitter? About what happened with you and I when Addison came to town?"
"Yeah, a little. It just seemed unfair. We were really happy. And we'd braved the disapproval of our coworkers, and bosses, and in one night I went from the intern sleeping with her attending to the dirty, slutty mistress." Her lips quivered slightly as she continued, "Not only did it hurt that there was an Addison, but it hurt that you chose her, and it hurt that I became an unknowing part of all of the cheating. And people looked at me that way, even though I wasn't still reaping the benefits of a relationship with you." She brushed away a tear.
"I'm sorry, Meredith. I'm glad that we can talk about it, because I don't want you to let it eat at you forever. But I'm so sorry that it happened in the first place. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you before she came—that I didn't tell you at the beginning. I'm sorry that I hurt you so much." He trailed kisses across the side of her neck and rested his face against hers again, offering quiet solace in his embrace.
She turned toward him and snuggled closer. Both drifted off to sleep, resting in the other's embrace.