Men in Tights

Pairing: Mega/Jay/Ram

Fic Pairing(s): Jalene, Rava, Trega, Slebony, Jellie, Datchism, Texism, and Katsy

Part of the 'Twas the Night universe so if you've not read the first 3 parts- a bit of history has been provided.

Must Include: all Technos

Setting: Robin Hood Men in Tights

Sentences to Include: "Does this suit make my butt look big?"

Disclaimer: I don't own a thing. Men in tights is by Mel Brooks and Cloud 9 owns the tribe.

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(Another year later)

It seemed as if time kept on moving, it was year six and The Dreamers Acting Incorporated was still in business. Salene and Jay had turned their once small time local stage company into a decent sized national threatre group.

At age 24, Salene was walking on water- the best gift of all was that her originals- still returned for the yearly holiday show despite the fact that most of them had long left the acting/or back stage set up business.

The originals being Salene, Amber, Bray, Tai-san, Ebony, Pride, Lex, Zandra, Ryan, Trudy, Ellie, Jack, and Martin. There was only one missing- last year after the last show Martin was killed in a car crash. Leaving him behind Trudy and Brady but that soon ended as well- Josh, the technical advisor had been quick to lend a helping hand there- and they were married later that year.

They however had a lost a few of their old staff. Siva had moved to America earlier that year to pursue a job in Hollywood. Darryl had gone with her ironically. Ruby was getting married the weekend of the show and pulled out in advanced. While, May had formally retired due to the fact that her business needed her attention full time. Dal was living in England now too. Leaving them a few cast member shorts but that did not matter.

Jay, Ram, Java, Jack, Patch, and Mega as they had planned for years started a company called The Techno's- a computer geek company to the fullest. They had managed to convince a few of their co-workers (or threaten according to Ram) to fill the spots of the retired members of the holiday company.

In this year it seemed a lot changed, Bray and Ebony finally spilt when she caught him in bed with Amber- who was now pregnant. Because of this neither would be taking part in the show instead working backstage. Ebony was now sort of messing around with the prop manager, Slade. However, everyone else had managed to stick with their date partner from the last time.

Salene and Jay however had taken it one step further last year after The Jay Horror Picture Show had wrapped up- they had taken a flight to Las Vegas and got married at the drive thru window of a real life Elvis style wedding ceremony with some of the closer cast on hand.

"Alright everyone, listen up. It's great to have you all back after another year… this year we have a special play planned- Robin Hood- Men in Tights," Salene said with a small smile waiting till she got herself screamed at.

Without failure all the guys started to blow up.

"WHAT? THERE IS NO WAY I'M BEING ROBIN HOOD," Lex shouted.

"I DON'T WEAR TIGHTS," Ram added quickly.

Salene looked at them all making protests, "Okay everyone HOLD UP. First off, Lex- I need you to be the sheriff so no for once you won't be the lead," she said seriously.

Lex's head snapped around to her, "Really?"

"Yes, really," Salene said.

Lex smirked, "YES- Finally!"

Tai-san glared and Lex sat back down, "Sorry babe".

"So who do you want as the lead?" Jay asked turning to his wife.

Salene smiled a little bit and looked at Slade, "Would you mind?"

Slade paled, "Are you kidding- I'm not an actor…"

"I know but the thing is Ebony IS and I need her for Marian… but unless Bray…" Salene began looking at Bray who was about to agree.

Ebony looked a bit amused- Amber looked horrified, and Slade looked about the same as she did.

"NO, wait. Bray can work the backstage with Amber, I'll happily be Robin," Slade said rather quickly.

Ebony gave him a fake smile, "Oh good we can suffer in hell together like last year," she said with false brightness.

"So who else do you want in this?" Dee inquired.

"Right, since Alice needs to runs concession- Ellie can you be Broomhilde?" Salene asked her.

Ellie shrugged her shoulders, "Why not?"

"Good- Ram I need you to be Little John, Jay- Will Scarlet O'Hara, KC the little thief, Ved I need you to be Blinkin, Josh- I'm fully aware you're going to kill me but we need an…" Salene began turning to him.

He paled, "Do I look like Dave Chappelle to you?" he demanded darkly.

"No but you're the only one close enough- and I'm aware comedy is not your strong point… but…." Salene said slowly.

Mega's eyes flashed- he was being set up- he shot a Jay a look who tossed his hands up in defense. Clearly, the man knew something about this but pretended just the opposite.

He then in the corner of his eyes noticed Trudy's look- he was aware this was going to be the battle that he would lose, "Fine," he relented finally.

Salene allowed a small smile, "Jack, and Patch- I need you two and the half other Techno's to be more of Robin's gang. The other half of your Techno volunteers Ram I need them to be Lex's army," Salene said.

"But what about the Prince with the 'tude- and the old crazy lady?" Tai-san asked her.

"Well that's the thing- seeing as there is romantic tension I've decided to make it a wannabe queen trying to take the thrown from her sister whose stuck in the war. Trudy I was hoping you'd be the Queen Richardia, and Dee your jealous sister trying to destroy Robin; Princess Johanna. I wanted Java to be the old woman chasing after Lex," Salene replied.

Java smirked, "No problem here," she reported looking at Lex who winked at her, "Oh second thought- I think I'm going to be sick."

"Okay," the other two answered automatically.

"Tai-san- I figured you'd be a good Rabbi- and Patsy since we need a hangman that you could do that- Cloe I was hoping you could be the hit-woman and we'll call you Donna Giovannia," Salene replied.

The three girls nodded.

"Great, everyone else whose part of my current company will fill any other stage rolls, the rest of you will have backstage jobs posted next week. Thank you for your aid. See you Monday for practice".

As everyone left- a few grumbling, and others laughing- Jay walked up to Salene, "I hope you know that everyone at work is going to hate me this time- Mega mainly".

"He'll get over it, it's one show"

"Try telling that to my soon to be destroyed self"

(Weeks later)

"I'm missing my sun glasses," Ved replied running around the backstage.

"Anyone seen my staff?" Jay called racing past Ved.

"Anyone called that shrink?" Mega added.

"JOSH"

As everyone turned to glare at him Java froze, "Nice," she replied looking down.

Mega eyes trailed down to what she was staring and looked up, "Careful one might think you're a sick dog dying without water".

"We need to put in the contract that you're only allowed to wear tights in that office," she said looking back up at him.

"Over my dead body"

Ebony then came flying towards Java, "Hey have you… Oh my god… please tell me you own tights and plan on wearing them again," she butted in.

Mega shot her a glare and walked off.

"I was thinking the exact same thing," Java said turning to her.

"I saw Ram and looked kinda ill- Jay didn't look too bad- but he- my god…"

Trudy finally came flying by and Ebony stopped her, "Hey Moody"

Trudy then turned to her side and shot Ebony a look, "What do you want?" she demanded.

"Seen your boyfriend lately?" Ebony asked innocently.

Trudy looked at her, "What does that have to do with anything?" she asked slowly.

When Ebony had that smirk on her face… Trudy didn't like what this meant for her- at all.

"You know I've been thinking why have one brother when I can have two- and you know it occurred to me earlier that he's kinda good looking and it looks like he pull of tights and still look manely. Oh yea, he'd be an excellent catch," Ebony goaded.

Trudy's eyes flared, "You "

"Come on," Ebony replied standing there as she moved to slap Trudy who then slapped her in return at the same time. Both then grabbed each other, and wrestled to the floor and started to claw at each other.

As if by total accident Salene came walking by, "Oh not again- JAY HELP"

Jay then came running and saw what she was looking at- four years in a row and going strong- yet again Trudy and Ebony were trying to kill each other. Slade and Mega knowing full well the history came running out too. Both looked at each other- then down at the girls. Slade went right for Ebony, and Mega Trudy.

"Okay keep your pit bull away from Trudy," Mega warned.

"I'll do what I can but it would help if you taught a thing or two about not goading Ebony into it," Slade replied jumping to Ebony's defense.

"Give me a break- she's hardly innocent," Mega snapped pulling off Trudy who was still reaching for Ebony while holding her nose where she had been punched yet again. Slade threw Ebony over his shoulders as she kept trying to jump at Trudy claw's bared. Ebony had clearly won again.

The two then looked at each other and Slade pulled her away as Mega put down Trudy who was crying angry tears, "I HATE her".

"Yea, I know".

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(Sometime later)

"Does this suit make my butt look big?" Ram asked finally.

Jay paled, "The line was how were my seams".

Ram looked embarrassed, "Oh - sorry Sal," he called to her.

Salene shook her head- it was the night before the show if they couldn't get this right….

"Okay- don't worry about it- skip to the dance number," she said finally.

The guys made a bunch of moans as they walked on stage. Mega, Ram, Ved, and Jay taking centre forward. Ram looked at Mega, "They were right you know"

"Fuck you Ram," Mega answered.

Ram let out an amused snort and started the number as the sky went down.

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The end.

A/N: Instead of doing the actual show this time, I figured the drama behind it would be more amusing- seeing as most of you have seen the movie anyway and could put into imagination. I wanted to actually show the Trudy/Ebony fight this time instead of just mention it took place. I also for once thought to spare Lex the punishment of the lead.

Anyone else have any stupid movie covers they want done so we punish Lex and the other men further, let me know.