Santa Baby
Pairing(s): Mava
Other Pairing(s): Maylene, Datchism
Words to use: stocking(s), drunk, mistletoe, and ruffles
Sentences to use: "The only difference on your list for the perfect woman since seventh grade is that you added 'Must never have slept with any barnyard denizen'.", "How about you go let Santa sit on your lap this year...", "But I'm Jewish."
Must Include: a Slebony break up, AU, and a sexy santa outfit
Rating: PG-13
8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8
"You JERK! You low life cunning SHARK- How COULD YOU?" a loud voice came shouting out.
Slade looked up half dressed with a girl under his arm in a nightgown. Ebony shot her death glares, "And you- you tart- didn't get knocked up or something already- how about you lay off my boyfriend".
"That's rich coming from you- I'm sorry but didn't you just have HIM in your bed last night- and he's not your boyfriend anymore considering the company you've been keeping- like my EX," Trudy said darkly moving to get up as Slade held her back.
"Ebony get out of here before this gets ugly- I told you last night that we were done with when you told me you slept with him- I meant it- whatever you thought about coming over here and doing well you can forget it. Not anymore," Slade said darkly throwing on his shirt and walking over to the door on the other end of the hall before opening it.
Ebony took a quick glare at a half dressed Trudy and then stormed off before looking at Slade and slapping him, "And to think I was going to say sorry. You know what? I'm not though- Martin was a lot better than you ever were".
Ebony then handed him the key and stormed off. Slade slammed the door and looked down at the key resting in his palm as Trudy came walking over she then placed an arm around his side as she examined it.
"But how did she get that?"
"Search me- I don't give any female a key to place… unless… oh no, he wouldn't… JOSH"
"Josh did it? Why would he let her…" Trudy asked looking at him oddly.
Josh and Ebony were old school mates of hers and she knew they'd never…
"Not HER- but the other her has- had one," Slade said angrily making his way over to the steps.
"Her- what other her?" Trudy asked oddly.
"Don't worry I've got this- you stay here," he commanded.
Trudy suspiciously looked around before noticing a blue sofa in the living room near the hallway and sitting herself down as she looked around at the paintings.
Meanwhile, Slade angrily stormed up the stairs- he told Josh that unless he planned to get married to the bitch, that she was never ever going to be given a house key. Well, that was just the house rule period. They didn't let women in beyond guest purposes- nothing more. How dare this brother break their pact.
"Josh- I swear to god I am going to…" he said as she turned the door knob ignoring the blaring music that Josh was playing.
Slade was no mood to lecture him on his taste of music- that would come later right now he just wanted to throttle him for this.
"JOSHUA SLADE… HOLY SHIT," he screamed as he opened the door.
Josh's eyes lit up for once- mirror of shock and horror plastered on his face- how dare Slade… without knocking did he…
Slade right away covered his eyes slammed his head against the door- and then mumbled a few words, "Jesus…"
"Actually it's Josh"
"Shut up- and- GET CLOTHES ON- my god," Slade said refusing to look, "And same goes to you," he replied pointing a finger in the direction of Josh's guest.
"Yea, yea- don't get so bent up about it- it's not like we were doing the horizontal in the living room like you and Trudy the moody," Ram said zipping himself up.
"Is there something you want to tell me?" Slade said after a minute looking at his now clothed brother.
"Like?"
"What you're doing upstairs with another male partially naked?"
"We were having sex- what the fuck do you think?" Josh replied rolling his eyes.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"We were playing strip poker- with a few people," Ram replied.
"Oh really?" Slade asked skeptically crossing his arms and leaning against the door, "Where are the other's then?" he said looking at them both.
Josh snorted and rolled his eyes, "Okay ladies come on out," he replied loudly.
Slade just turned in the direction of his brothers closet the minute he heard it rumble- suddenly the door opening and standing there were four of Josh's really- really good friends (former and current sex partners).
Slade's eyebrow rose- when he noticed Java standing there in some kitten female Santa outfit. Next to her standing there in her bra and a white skirt was Ellie, and the other two girls with sheepish smiles on their faces were Tai-san and Ruby- both also without certain articles of clothes.
"Hi Slade," Ruby said after a second going back towards her seat.
"Why were you in the closet?"
"Uh slight dare," Ruby confessed.
"Right whatever," he then shot his gaze over to Java, "Did Josh give you a house key?"
"I wouldn't," Josh interjected.
"I didn't ask you- you'd lie to me anyway- I'd know if she was- she's shit at it," Slade said folding his arms looking at Java.
She was the same age of him- it had taken all of Slade's might not to kill his brother for going out with a woman nine years his senior but Slade knew it was a losing battle even then. Josh was never going to give her up until a better offer came his way.
"No, he didn't- I swear- however, I did have his key as of last night- you know when we out partying. Naturally, he got really drunk- and I didn't. So I drove us here and unlocked the door and then accidentally brought the key home with me. I would have returned it… but I couldn't find it earlier," Java replied honestly looking at him oddly, "Why?"
"So THAT'S why you asked for my keys earlier- you didn't want me to know yours was gone," Slade said with a death glare.
Josh nodded, "Yea… so um why do you ask- cause we'd really like to finish the game…"
"Ebony took them and decided to let herself in while I was entertaining Trudy," Slade said darkly.
Java snorted, "And I missed it!"
"Well considering how loud all of you are listening to that hate music- I'd say it was easy to miss," Slade reported handing over the key to Josh, "Oh and can you listen to something that doesn't suggest rape and torture?"
"It's Korn- they're popular- and not criminal either"
"I don't care- it's a real mood killer- knock it off- and don't even think of playing the Bad touch song again…"
"DAMN"
8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8
"You know you're my perfect woman right? More so than all the others…."
"The only difference on your list for the perfect woman since seventh grade is that you added 'Must never have slept with any barnyard denizen'."
"Anyway- will you marry me, Dee?"
"So then what happened?"
"She broke out laughing"
"She broke out laughing? Oh that's cold," Josh said looking at his co-worker.
For the longest time, Jack, Patch, Josh, and Ram had been school mates, best buds, and co workers in their .dot com they owned together.
Josh was forever the traveling player like his brother always with a new woman, Jack was loyal to Amber and their child, Ram and Ruby were doing pretty well now that she was done with Josh, and Patch wanted Dee- bad…
"You know it was just a dream Patch for her to ACTUALLY turn you down you have to say it to her face and not a blow up Santa doll," Ram informed him.
"He's right but still even in a dream world- that is harsh- I can see the fear and why marriage is pathetic and never lasts," Josh said with a shrug as he typed.
"Don't listen to him- he's using that as excuse because he wants to remain a free agent until his death- though naturally he hasn't- he was the first one of us to ever date- let alone... Anyway, you're doing the right thing asking for commitment," Jack said giving Josh a glare.
"I guess… but what if she really does laugh?"
"She won't take out somewhere romantic- seeing as it's almost Christmas some dress up wouldn't hurt- you know like the sexy female Santa look like Java was sporting last night there Josh- and then add some mistletoe- can't go wrong," Ram told Patch.
"Right- okay I'll try that tonight- thanks guys," he replied going back to work.
Suddenly one of their assistants came walking in.
"Ah May- so what you and the Mrs. Up to this year for Christmas…"
"Well we were thinking about going to Australia for the week and swimming but I'm Jewish and so is Salene- so for HANNUKAKH- we're going to visit our family first and then the week of Christmas we're staying home and sleeping in," May replied.
"Oh didn't mean anything by it- don't get your ruffles in those feathers going," Ram said pointing to her feather and cotton top.
May rolled her eyes, "You've known I was Jewish for years smart ass"
"I know but I love driving you nuts with that," he replied with a grin, "Seriously, you, your wife, and your kids deserve the break- have fun- we'll manage without you".
"That's good because I'm not coming back like I did last year"
"I don't expect to end up in the hospital again- Ebony can't shove me down the stairs- her and Slade finally broke up," Josh said looking at her with a smirk.
"Took them long enough- god- she's so cold- and your brother was blind to her crimes and what she did to you- how could he even…"
"I never told him- get off it- because you know as well I did… I WOULD have killed her myself," he reported, "There was no need"
"I guess anyway- I'm going home- I'll see ya all tomorrow"
8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8
(That night)
"So the kids asked me if they could get Hannukkah stockings this year," Salene proclaimed as May went to join her in bed.
"Oh and why is that?" May asked with a laugh.
"So they could have stocking gifts like their friends too"
May laughed, "Cute, you know we should spoil them some… we could always double their gifts this year too"
"Something to think about… anyway- are we going to bed or…" Salene asked as May looked at her.
"No way," May replied as she moved in to kiss her passionately, "This is OUR night"
8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8
"How about you go let Santa sit on your lap this year..."
"Ho, too much information- so it went well then?" Josh asked.
"Well yea- of course I didn't quite see it going that way but we're getting married all right," Patch said happily.
"Yea really- who'd think Dee would dress as Santa and then pull out a ring on you- clever woman," Ram said amused.
"Don't tell you were Mrs. Claus," Josh said suddenly with a suspicious look.
"Uh no- she just sprung it on me as I walked in the door," he announced.
"Nice," Jack replied, "If only Amber was that aggressive…"
"Keep dreaming- it's Amber," Josh replied.
"True- so you and Java doing anything for Christmas eve?"
"Maybe… but I never kiss and tell you know that- all right geeks it's 5- I'm outta here- see you guys on the 26th," Josh said hopping up from his desk.
"Later geek"
"Look whose talkin' Ram"
8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8
(Hours later)
Josh walked into the house- right off he heard moaning and groaning coming from the living room- he rolled his eyes- obviously Slade was making the holiday's work for him.
Well so much for brotherly love- not that it mattered- he had plans of his own. Climbing the stairs- he unlocked his bedroom door (which he locked to keep Slade out when he wasn't around).
He then flicked on the light looking around the perfectly clean dark room that was almost all black and red minus a few white items. He took out two black candles and lit them. He then took out a sheet of paper- and placed it on the foot of the bed.
He then started to undress his work clothes and put on something easier to slip off when he heard the doorbell ring before shouting, "I got it- don't stop on my part," he shouted, "As if you ever would anyway," he mumbled on the way down the stairs.
He opened the door and smirked looking the person standing before him, "You're early".
"Actually, I'm twenty minutes late- to be honest besides- you said it was urgent…"
She then followed him the upstairs hand in hand.
"Yea- Slade was in the living room again but thankfully- he was stupid enough to keep the action- fool," he said opening his bedroom door.
Right off, she came in and looked at the bed as she walked over in shock- she then looked down at the paper, "Lights"
"Of course," he said flicking them on and locking the door.
She quickly read over it, "Oh my god- you got her to sign the divorce papers!" she asked surprised looking at him wide eyed.
"Told you- it was just a matter of negotiations- I'm a free agent now- of course that may soon change," Josh said honestly.
"What do you mean?"
He then pulled out a ring, "Tai-san will you marry me?"
"Oh Josh! Of course I will," she exclaimed happily throwing her arms around him and kissing him.
"Oh and Merry Christmas by the way"
"You too Josh- you too"
8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8
The end