Chapter 92 – The de-Tour
(MPOV)
Will knocked on my door. Right on time. I smiled and called out my usual 'come,' setting a plate of cookies on the table.
"Morning Kae," Will called out with a grin, snagging a cup of coffee as he flumped down on my sofa.
"Morning Will, I appreciate you taking the time out of your busy schedule for me," I told him teasingly.
"Oh, right, because working with the CIA with you as the liaison is such a strain," Will laughed as Optimus' holoform winked online. Will looked at him with a snort.
"Weren't you in the med-bay?"
"I still am," Optimus shrugged. "Ratchet cut the controls to my legs again."
Will snorted as I laughed, settling down on my cushion.
"Right, let's get started. Any beefs with me?" I started perfunctorily.
"Nope," Will grinned.
"Any beefs with the CIA?"
"Well, you guys are being a bit slow with the information, but like you said, security of your agents is paramount, I can totally understand that," Will nodded.
"However we would like to propose the beginning of our information and technology sharing in earnest," Optimus rumbled calmly, I began writing, not even looking as I nodded to him.
"Such as?" I asked calmly.
"Well, Barry said he wants us for a bit of surveillance work, Bumblebee and Sideswipe are getting bored with scouting the city, and Jetfire is always happy for a diversion. If Barry can think of some assignments for them I would find myself quite appreciative, having highly trained scouts and predators sitting bored does not bode well," Optimus rumbled with a laugh.
I laughed softly and kept writing.
"True, Bee was getting quite antsy with his curb duty," I murmured.
"Besides that, I have noted that the security on the CIA's computers is still vulnerable to attack. Now, I know of nothing that can keep me out when I want to see something, but I can certainly make it difficult for myself and impossible for humans," Optimus continued calmly. I couldn't help but grin.
"Barry's tech crew are going to love you," I murmured.
"Other than that, another request for any information they may have picked up on Decepticon movements," Optimus shrugged calmly, I smiled at him.
"You're being quite patient today," I murmured.
"Impatience only breeds more of it's kind," he rumbled with a snort. "I am still quite appreciative that you have the Director himself coming here from time to time. And I am more than grateful that he has provided a place for Gouge."
"May I write that down?" I asked gently.
Optimus waved his hand as a go-ahead.
I quickly wrote everything down and looked up at them.
"I believe that that is everything," Optimus rumbled calmly, looking at Will.
"Yep, jeeze, here I was hoping it would take longer, I'd rather work with Kae than Galloway," Will snorted.
"Indeed," Optimus rumbled, nodding agreement. I laughed at them and sketched out my report, translating the shorthand, Cybertronian and Mandarine into english. I slid it over to Optimus and he scanned it quickly.
"Rough draft," I stated calmly.
"More than adequate," he rumbled with a smile, he grimaced.
"Are you alright dear?" I asked gently.
"Ratchet is tapping my helm for my attention," Optimus grumbled.
"Alright, I'm going to write my good draft down, I'll stop by the med-bay on my way out," I smiled at him, standing and pressing a gentle kiss to his jaw. He caught my lips for a second before we backed away from each other.
"Major," Optimus nodded to the man before winking the holoform out.
"Oh, rather than having a beef with you, put in that your efficiency in our meetings is a blessing to me," Will grinned at me.
"Flatterer," I snorted.
"Truth, you've got coffee and cookies for me and we're in and out in less than twenty minutes." Will laughed. "Right, are you all good? If I leave now I'm gonna be able to meet Galloway at the door, see if that puts him in a better mood."
"Good luck," I murmured with a smile.
Will grinned and walked out my door.
I settled back onto my cushion and wrote out the good draft, glanced at the clock and zipped into my leathers, if Optimus' leg controls were offline it meant Ratchet was keeping him for a while, it had been an early thaw anyway. I delicately folded my report and tucked it into my inside pocket, picked up my helmet and began walking.
First stop, med-bay.
I walked in and couldn't help but laugh at the grumpy look on my Optimus' face. I set my helmet down and climbed up the berth to stand beside his face.
"I'm rolling out, love, I'll be back soon," I smiled at him.
Optimus promptly looked more irritable.
"Oh stop that," I laughed, "I'm not leaving the city and you have my transponder frequency. I'll be back before Ratchet has your legs back in your control."
"Oh, very well," Optimus grumped, reaching out and touching my face with an infinitely gentle finger. I kissed his finger and slid down the ladder.
"When do I get my assistant back?" Ratchet grumbled.
"Tomorrow morning first thing," I smiled at him. "If you have issue with it, you can argue with Optimus."
The two of them snorted as I picked up my helmet and made my way back out. Chromia was whizzing toward me the next moment.
"Are you going out on your bike?" she asked excitedly.
"I am," I nodded.
"Lemme come with!" Chromia demanded. "If only to ease your beloved's mind that you're unescorted!"
I laughed and reached out, patting her struts.
"Admit it, you're only going out in the hopes of spotting Ironhide," I told her with a grin.
"That too, and we've been cooped up in here!" Chromia pouted.
"I'll agree with that, let's roll?" I smiled.
Chromia whooped and transformed, I poked my head back in the med-bay.
"Chromia's coming with me, love," I called over to Optimus. "If you asked her to do it you already know, if you didn't know now you do."
Optimus snorted and waved a hand at me, relaxing somewhat on the berth.
So he didn't know. My bot trusted me enough to let me go out alone. The dear.
I jogged into the entrance bay and kicked my motorcycle into neutral, firing up beside an already revving and impatient Chromia. I quickly tucked my hair into the helmet.
"Hear me alright?" I asked her calmly.
::. Loud and clear, let's roll!.:: Chromia grinned. We both got into gear and rolled out, I waved to the soldiers as Chromia's holoform onlined just before she reached the doors.
We stopped at the stop sign, watched the traffic roll past then nodded to each other, taking off at high speed.
Chromia was wheelieing beside me, I couldn't help but laugh at her.
"And if you hit ice doing that?" I asked her with a snort.
::. Forcefield.:: she replied airily.
"Showoff."
::. A-yep.::
We began laughing, Chromia casually taking my flank as I made my way to the CIA headquarters. A cheerful half hour ride and I pulled around the headquarters, making a beeline for the underground parking.
"I don't know if you want to come with, stay here or roll," I told her with a smile.
"Oh I'll come with," Chromia giggled, blinking the helmet off of her holoform as I set mine in the helmet lock. We walked to the elevator and I pressed the up button, let it scan my eye and waited.
Three armed men ran toward us.
"Ladies- Oh! Hey Kae," the man snorted.
"They still haven't gotten me back into the system!?" I demanded with a laugh.
"No! I put you into the system personally at the directors orders," Dave frowned, glaring at the scanner. "I think somebody's been screwing with you."
"Eh, figures," I snorted. "You mind?"
"Er..."
"She's with me," I smiled. "And we aren't even here to kill anybody today."
"Aaww... you sure I can't change your mind?" Dave asked with a grin as Jack and Bobby laughed.
"Well, I'm here to see the Director, so I think I'll take a pass on the killing today, maybe tomorrow," I stated, licking my finger and opening my invisible datebook. "How's four?"
The men laughed harder, and Dave scanned his eye.
"Alright, here, you know the drill," he snorted, keying in his password. I scanned my eye and watched as the elevator cleared me for entry. We stood and waited.
"Oh, well while we're waiting, Gentlemen may I introduce you to Chromia?" I smiled.
"Holy shit, you're one of those Auto-bots!" Bobby shouted, wide eyed and pointing with a broad grin.
"Well, my holoform," Chromia smirked, looking down at her body. "But you gotta admit, I outdid myself this time."
"Gorgeous," Jack nodded firmly.
"Aren't they just the nicest boys," Chromia grinned at me.
"They really are, so if I ever have to get you to do the delivery, this is Dave, Jack and Bobby, keepers of the keys to the CIA." I grinned.
"What the pit are good looking boys like you doing in the basement?" Chromia demanded with a grin.
"Heart problem," Dave snorted.
"I'm allergic to paperwork," Jack stated seriously.
"What other security job lets me carry around an M16?" Bobby asked innocently. Chromia laughed.
"And once again, thanks Dave," I smiled at him as the elevator door opened.
"Anytime," he grinned as Chrome and I stepped into the elevator. The doors closed and Chromia turned to me with a grin.
"How the scrap do you know everybody!?" she demanded.
"It's the first rule of alibis and getting around everywhere," I grinned. "Get to know and be friendly with the people who hold the real power. They act silly, and they're great guys, but Dave Jack and Bobby are trained agents regardless, nothing gets through that parking garage without one of them knowing about it. ∂And when they're your friends, they can give you a heads up if there's somebody trying to stab you in the back. They hear everything.∂"
Chromia stared at me incredulously.
∂But they didn't say anything!∂ she stated incredulously.
∂No, they said a lot,∂ I stated sternly. ∂Nobody but the higher ups are capable of removing me from the system. If Dave put me in there personally, it means he's absolutely correct, somebody's trying to get me killed.∂
I looked up at the camera concealed in the elevator and shot a smiling salute to the men on security as the door opened again.
More men with guns.
"Leo, Noah, Danny," I smiled at them. "Bobby, Dave and Jack are still alive."
"Yeah... uh Kae?" Noah stated worriedly. I frowned.
"Order from somebody that I'm under arrest?" I frowned. "I'm delivering my report to the Director for pete's sake!"
"Yeah... that's kind of why you're not dead..." Noah stated embarrassedly.
I sighed and held my arms out for them. Noah shot me a grateful look, patting me down. Chromia was mouthing furiously.
"Don't worry about it Chrome, the joys of being infamous," I sighed. "If you want to wink your holoform out and roll, this is probably going to take a while. Noah?" he looked at me curiously. "Would you mind calling Barry and telling him I'm here, cut through the stupidity?"
"Yeah, that's an idea," Leo sighed. "We gotta figure out who's screwing with you."
"This is screwing?" Chromia demanded.
Leo looked around cautiously.
"Discuss it in the quiet room," I stated firmly.
The men nodded and we walked down the corridor. My eyes were everywhere, looking for the anger behind the surprise in a pair of eyes.
Chromia stayed tight to my seven, glaring around herself somewhat.
∂Play it cool, Chrome,∂ I told her quietly. ∂I haven't spent this much time building bridges and alliances for this to go badly.∂
"I hope so," she stated worriedly, crossing her holo's arms.
"Don't worry," I repeated myself gently, reaching to gently touch her hand. "They can't hurt you Chrome."
"It's not me I'm worried about," she growled under her breath.
"Good chick with you, Kae," Leo murmured.
"One of the best," I smiled. Chromia's expression softened slightly.
We stepped into the quiet room, and the guards put their weapons down almost immediately.
"God, Kae we gotta figure out who's screwing with you," Noah stated flatly. "Screwing with one of us isn't cool."
Chromia looked at me.
"House rules, you screw with a fellow CIA agent, you're trying to get them killed," I stated firmly. "If you're pranking you're messing."
"Right," Chromia nodded, leaning against the table. "Can I ask how everybody knows you Kae?"
"Her daddy trained most of us how to shoot," Leo shrugged.
"That makes sense," Chromia laughed softly.
"Director is on his way," Danny reported quietly. I nodded to him gratefully.
"Alright, who have you been pissing off lately?" Noah asked worriedly.
"God, I don't even know. Galloway," I stated with a frown. "Greg Daniels might be reaching out?"
"No, Daniels wasn't popular enough to do that," Danny scowled.
"Can't rule him out though..." Leo murmured.
"I'm terrified that it's a wild card," I stated quietly. The men grimaced.
"Wild card?" Chromia murmured.
"Somebody pissed off at me for god only knows why," I told her calmly.
Chromia frowned. I patted her hand consolingly.
"Don't worry about it," Leo shrugged. "The only order to kill Kae that we'll follow is Barry's. And Barry ain't gonna order it."
"What am I not ordering?" Barry asked tiredly, walking into the quiet room.
"Kill Kae," Leo stated calmly.
"Huh, correct again," Barry stated mildly. "Who's trying to kill her this time?"
"Trying to figure that out, Galloway, maybe Daniels," Noah reported.
Barry rubbed his face tiredly.
"Hey Kae, how's your week going?" he asked tiredly.
"Better than your's by the sound of it," I stated in a concerned tone.
"Well, let's do the walk, see if appearing together exacerbates or quiets this down," Barry stated tiredly.
"Are you alright Barry?" I asked worriedly. He looked at me tiredly.
"Getting too old for this shit." he stated quietly, Leo patted his shoulder gently.
"Well, let's see what we can do about easing your mind," I stated gently, Chromia looking at the man concernedly.
"Thanks for taking care of our Kae," Barry added, looking around at the men.
"Hey, we owe it to Banes," Noah stated quietly.
Barry smiled and offered Chromia and I his arms.
I threaded my hand into his elbow gently, and we promptly strolled the corridors, chatting idly until we reached his office.
"So, what reports do you have for me god-daughter?" Barry asked warily, settling down in his chair, I smiled and pulled the paper from my breast pocket. His eyes lit at how short my reports always remained. "You know me too well Kae," he snorted.
"Well, practically everything is in the report, but I'll wait for you to read it," I smiled.
His eyes flicked through the sheet and froze.
"Seriously, he wants me to find some assignments for his scout!?" Barry demanded.
"Only if you don't mind," I added hastily.
"Do you realize just how much of a blessing that is!?" Barry demanded with a broad grin. "He... well, you said two of them, which two?"
"Bumblebee and Sideswipe, they both get antsy when their continual assignment is 'stay in the city limits and report anything suspicious.' which means that they'll go days without getting to make a report and follow up." Chromia laughed.
"You're one of the bots?" Barry asked interestedly.
"Designation Chromia," she smiled.
"So what happens when the two of them don't get exciting assignments?" Barry asked with a chuckle.
"Oh, they start sulking, and when they start sulking they start getting into trouble," Chromia snorted. "Particularly if they can find anything to do with racing."
"Well, what are their abilities?" Barry demanded with a grin. I sat back with a smile as Chromia beamed at the man.
"Sideswipe is a predator class master of stealth-"
"-Ninja-" I murmured in counterpart.
"And Bumblebee is a full fledged class one Scout." Chromia continued with a smile. "Both are highly proficient with their weaponry."
"They're hired," Barry grinned.
"Wow, and he hasn't even heard the sales pitch," I smirked.
Barry stared at me and began laughing.
"Do I get to haggle?" he asked with a snort.
"What are you putting on the table?" I asked immediately, narrowing my eyes.
Barry narrowed his eyes, leaning forward somewhat.
"Full alliance," he stated sternly. I leaned back and pursed my lips.
"We don't supply weapons," I stated coldly.
"No doubt," Barry stated with a frown. "That'd start the cold war all over again."
Chromia was looking back and forth between the two of us.
::. It's alright Chromia.:: I sent silently.
"Precisely," I stated quietly.
::. How the Pit!?.:: Chromia demanded.
"But on the line of defence, you're not going to provide an upgrade to our weaponry, however you will provide some training in the use of our own weapons?" Barry stated at the same time.
::. I have my neurals.::
"That has already begun within the NEST unit," I replied firmly. "However if your men are to begin training alongside our NEST unit that will have to be discussed with Optimus Prime, Major Lennox and General Moreshower." I stated firmly.
::. Damn Kae! How the hell are you doing it with one processor!?.::
"So if I happened to drop by at around the right time..." Barry stated musingly.
::. Practice.:: "Oh, I might add that we're throwing an engagement party next friday," I smiled. "Black tie affair, tons of places to sneak away to talk..."
Barry took a sip of coffee and almost choked.
"Seriously!?" he demanded.
"Seriously!?" Chromia half-shrieked. I jumped and looked at her.
"Kae that's the best idea I've ever heard!" Barry howled as Chromia almost tackled me out of my chair.
"You're the best sister ever!" Chromia squealed.
"Wait until Cole catches wind of it!" Barry cheered. "I gotta call him, can I call him?"
"Do it," I smirked.
Barry snatched up his phone.
"Linda, get Cole," Barry stated with a grin. "Yep, on the phone, and book yourself a day at the spa?"
"I beg your pardon, sir?" Linda's voice asked curiously.
"Linda my dear, we have a black tie event to attend next friday," Barry stated cheerfully. "A celebratory of our Miss Banes being engaged to Optimus Prime."
"OH of course sir," Linda stated brightly.
"And do wear the dress you chose for me to get for you for your birthday," he added with a bright smile. Linda began laughing, and Barry smirked, winking at Chromia.
She covered her mouth to stifle her giggles.
Barry put the phone down and Chromia began laughing.
"Next Friday!? Kae what am I gonna wear!?" she squealed.
"I don't know, I think you'd better call Arcee and Flare so we can go shopping," I told her seriously. Chromia promptly began kissing my cheeks.
Barry's phone rang.
"It's Cole," Barry grinned, punching the button.
"Oh my god Kae!" Cole shouted gleefully. "You're giving in!? You're having an engagement party!? You gotta let me do the list!"
"Cole you need to give me a list!" I shouted back with a laugh. "Next friday! Before Valentines day after New Years!"
"You brilliant woman!" Cole bellowed. "I need your number! Now! Things need to roll!"
I began laughing.
"306-588-0198 Let the texting begin!" I called back to him cheerfully.
Two seconds.
Kae! Cole texted me.
"Yep, that's me," I laughed.
"Excellent!" Cole cheered. "Director Matteer! Thank you for routing us!" Barry began laughing, Chromia looking over my shoulder with a grin as I quickly typed in a text.
Don't forget to save yourself an invite I sent to Cole with a smirk. Cole whooped on the phone just as Barry made to hang up. I smirked at him and held up my phone. Barry just laughed harder, shaking his head and hanging up the phone.
"See you next friday," I smiled at him cheerfully, standing up.
Barry grinned and settled into his chair, waving as he began in on his paperwork again. I strode out of the office and almost into a beaming Linda.
"What colour?" she demanded with a broad grin.
I looked at Chromia.
She pursed her lips and eyed me.
"Blue," she stated firmly.
"Blue," I smiled at Linda. She grinned and typed it into her PDA.
"See you friday!" she trilled cheerfully. I laughed and began walking, Chromia right beside me, beaming.
I stopped and smirked at her.
"What?" she grinned.
"You wanna do something fun?" I grinned at her.
"What?" she murmured with a smirk.
I quickly reached up and unzipped her leathers, showing off a nice bit of cleavage and quickly unzipped my own.
::. Shake your hair out.:: I sent to Chromia with a grin.
::. The braids?.:: she sent curiously.
::. No, let your braids out of the chignon.:: I sent back with a grin, releasing my own hair.
Chromia smirked and released her hair, a mass of braids spilled down her back. We glanced at each other and nodded.
"Go ahead and strut," I smirked at her, turning and striding down the corridor.
The open windowed corridor, and a good number of doors stood open besides. Chromia was smirking as we strutted down the public corridors, any number of the male population turning to stare at us in shock.
And awe.
I pressed the button to the elevator.
::. And hair up.:: I sent to her with a smile. I reached back, shook my hair slightly and began twisting it up to fit beneath my helmet. The doors opened as I slid the clip in place, precisely the same time that Chromia did.
The elevator doors opened, we stepped forward, into the elevator and I idly punched the button.
::. Aaaand turn.:: I smirked. Simultaneously, we made an about face, the doors staying open long enough for us to see a good third of the building's population staring at us.
The doors closed.
Chromia and I kept our faces straight right up to the point that the elevator opened into the parking garage.
Jack stood grinning at the door.
"And the winner is!" I grinned at him.
"Every single man who can get his hands on the video feed of watching you two disrupt four floors of the CIA just by walking through." Jack laughed.
"Anything good?" I asked with a snort.
"List of angry faces," Bobby called out with a laugh.
I accepted the high fives and straddled my bike as Chromia seated her holoform.
"I'll call Flare and Arcee when we get outside," she stated calmly.
We both grinned at each other and waved to the guards as our engines started up.
And we were off.
::. What do you think.:: Chromia asked musingly. ::. Fully formal, or semi?.::
"Oh..." I stated, pursing my lips. "I think-"
::. All units, two Decepticons spotted.:: Ironhide sent over the primary ::. Two Dires, there's never just two of them!.::
::. Let's roll!.:: Chromia sent grimly. In moments we were running top speed toward Ironhide's position. My neurals began forming a cannon, prepared to transform and fire in astroseconds.
::. Ironhide, what is your position!.:: Chromia barked out quickly.
::. Luring them out... ope, there's the third.:: Ironhide sent with a frown. Chromia took point and I raced after her.
Fifteen minutes, we were out into the farmland.
::. Coming at you girls!.:: Ironhide called out with a grin. My cannons formed and Chromia transformed the second we saw Ironhide. We split and drove around him, the larger bot transforming as I screeched to a halt with Chromia.
The three of us stood as the Dires transformed and ran toward us. Time slowed.
I took a deep breath and noted something.
The field beside us had been recently well manured.
One of the cons decided to focus on me. I idly looked it in the optics and brought a forcefield online, lightly picking it up and throwing it into the field. Ironhide bodily threw his as Chromia made to drive her's away with a few well-aimed shots.
The dire dodged them and tackled her.
Right into the field.
Scrap.
In moments I was running after them, pointlessly of course, Ironhide was there the next second, snatching the con off of Chromia and hurling it into the other two.
I stood back and watched with a smile as Ironhide promptly began thrashing the three of them for having the temerity to touch his Chromia.
It wasn't long before they were retreating.
Ironhide strode back toward us as I stood over Chromia.
She stood up, looked down at herself and crossed her arms with a deep frown.
(IPOV)
Ironhide looked down at the sticky, smelly, disgusting muck splattered on him from feet to neck struts.
Disgusting. He looked around and did his best to bite down a snort.
Chromia was covered, and by covered, as in helm to heel-struts plastered in the stuff.
He failed to not laugh at it though.
Bad idea. Chromia was glaring daggers at him the next moment.
Scrap. He was gonna be recharging alone for a while.
::. Quick, demand how she does it.:: Kae's voice rapped out over his private comm.
::. What?.:: he rumbled back.
::. Action now, explanation later. Demand how the scrap she does it.::
"How the scrap do you do it?" he demanded of Chromia.
She looked confused.
"Do what?" she demanded as Kae's voice whispered his next lines.
"We're covered in Ratchet only knows what, runnin' low on energon and yet you're still the most gorgeous creature I've ever laid optics on," Ironhide rumbled flatly, agreeing with Kae. Albeit he didn't think this was the time for flattery, more like falling down and apologizing for laughing. So he was shocked when Chromia's glare melted from her faceplates, in fact, she melted, looking at him with love.
Astonishing.
::. Lesson one, Uncle, when it comes to flattery, timing is everything.:: Kae murmured in soft amusement.
Ten points Kae.
(OPOV)
Optimus paced the entrance bay irritably.
Ironhide rolled in, covered in something that smelled absolutely awful. Chromia was plastered in it, riding in the Weapons Master's box. Kae rolled in after them.
Optimus stood and crossed his arms as the two bots transformed.
Mikaela looked up at him as she parked her bike.
"Why. Would you take Kae into a battlezone?" Optimus rumbled flatly.
"We were closest," Chromia shrugged.
"It's not like she had the option to leave me behind," Mikaela stated with a small snort.
"Mikaela, you went into a battlezone unarmed!" Optimus growled at her.
"As if," Mikaela snorted. "The only place that I go unarmed is your quarters."
Optimus jumped and stared down at her.
She smirked up at him and formed a cannon from the neural fibres that she played host to from time to time.
Well. Scrap.
Optimus vented an irritated sigh.
"And if I put forth that I do not wish you in the battlezones, even armed?" he rumbled down to his Kae. She looked up at him with a raised eyebrow.
"You really want to have that argument?" she asked mildly.
Optimus reached up and pinched the bridge of his nose.
"Am I going to get anywhere with mentioning that I am your guardian, and your betrothed, I would like to be married to you before you get yourself killed?" he rumbled irritably.
Mikaela smiled at him.
"Now is the time you should be utilizing me the most," she stated sweetly, zipping out of her riding armour and hanging it.
"And why is that?" he demanded irritably.
"Because woe to anyone who dares to try to stop me from marrying you." Kae smirked at him. Optimus stared at her.
Chromia burst out laughing.
"Now, go tell your Weapons Master and his Chromia to go get cleaned up," Mikaela stated cheerfully.
"What in Primus name!?" Ratchet bellowed.
Optimus whipped around to stare at the bot.
"What did you do! Why are you covered in that stuff!" Ratchet shouted.
"Dirt?" Ironhide rumbled curiously, looking at his armour.
"No! Fecal matter!" Ratchet howled. "I want you in decontamination! Now!"
Optimus reached up and covered his face, desperately fighting down a snort of laughter as Chromia looked down at herself in horror. Ironhide reached down and picked her up.
"Decontamination," he rumbled flatly, carrying her toward the wash bays.
"And you! I sent you to the decontamination chamber hours ago, and you're still covered in free radicals!" Ratchet added grumpily, glaring up at him.
Optimus shot him an innocent look.
"And take Kae with you," the medic added with a glare at her.
Mikaela tilted her head to the side, smirking at her spark-father.
Ratchet stared at her irritably.
"You're just looking for an excuse to keep me out of the med-bay." she stated calmly.
"Fine, yes I am," Ratchet snorted. "Do I seriously need to make it an order? My favourite assistant usually knows when one of our charges needs a full decontamination schedule before I do..."
Mikaela began smirking broadly, matching Ratchet's expression.
Optimus looked back and forth between them. Confused.
"Coming Optimus?" Mikaela asked sweetly, walking into the wash-bays.
Oh.
Optimus grinned and followed his Kae after Chromia and Ironhide.
"Off, get it off..." Chromia was muttering, glaring at the washers and trying to wipe away the gunk.
"I got you," Mikaela murmured with a low laugh, picking up one of the pressure washer wands, she started it up and pointed it to the floor, testing the temperature for a moment before she began spraying Chromia.
The smell intensified.
"It'll go away in a few minutes," Mikaela stated calmly as the bots made faces. "Or rather, perhaps you should offline your olfactory sensors until I tell you it's safe."
That. Was a scrapping good idea. Optimus did just that, and by the relieved look on Ironhide and Chromia's faces, they had as well.
"How the scrap can you stand it!?" Chromia demanded.
"Practice," Mikaela shrugged.
"You make it a practice to smell this..." Ironhide rumbled, trailing off irritably.
"Shit?" Mikaela snorted. "No, however smell is smell, my olfactories aren't as inclusive as yours, for one, and part of my duties in the restaurants is to clean the bathrooms, and let me tell you, the men's bathroom always smells awful."
"Worse than this?" Chromia grimaced, turning around to continue letting Kae get the gunk off of her.
"Far worse, think about it, at the moment you're covered in cow manure, they're herbivores. Humans are omnivores, meat doesn't digest as nicely." Mikaela stated clinically. Chromia sighed in relief as the last of the manure was rinsed away and Kae turned to begin rinsing Ironhide off.
"Water," he grumbled irritably.
"Better than cow shit," Mikaela snorted. "Once you're cleaned up I'm going to shove the lot of you into the decontamination chamber proper, just keep thinking of the lubricant bath."
Ironhide promptly began smirking, even as Kae powered the crap off of him.
"Better yet," Mikaela stated gleefully. "Think of what Chromia looks like when she's floating in the lubricant bath beside you."
Optimus couldn't hold back the snort of laughter as Ironhide looked down at Chromia and somehow managed to smirk more broadly.
Chromia smirked right back at him.