Reigen wasn't turning into his parents.

At least he hadn't been planning on becoming them. Ever since he had been a kid he had told himself, time and time again, that he was never going to turn into his parents. He had decided that he was never going to control his kids, treat them like everything that they said and did was wrong because it hadn't come from him, and he had vowed never to hit them, too. He had always hated that when he had been a kid. Why had his parents been allowed to hit him, he had reasoned, when they had spent their whole lives telling him that hitting was wrong. That fighting was wrong?

It hadn't made any sense.

But then again neither did this. He had never seen himself becoming his parents, but then again he had also never seen himself in any of the situations he had been finding himself in these past few years. He had never seen himself as a parent, for one thing, at least not recently. When he had been kid, when being an adult had seemed like such a simple thing, getting married and having kids just felt like what happened when you grew up. Like moving up to another grade or outgrowing his shoes, just another inevitable part of life. Now though, at his age and without a girlfriend or even any time to find one, he accepted the fact that he was probably never going to have any kids.

Any kids of his own, anyway.

He could feel himself being glared at. Mom had told him, back when he had been young enough to believe such things, that she had eyes in the back of her head. As he got older he just figured that she had been lying. Now he knew what she meant. He may not have been able to physically see them, Ritsu and Teru, but he knew what they were doing as they walked behind him at what could only be considered to be a snail's pace. They were both glaring at him, Ritsu was stomping around as if the ground itself had offended him, and Teru was dragging his feet. Out of fatigue or injury Reigen didn't know. Both would have made sense considered what he had been through.

What they had all been through.

"So…" said Reigen, cutting through the silence. He had never been good with silences, each and everyone of them feeling awkward to him regardless of if they were objectively so or not, so he did what he always did. He spoke to fill the silence.

Even though he had nothing, really, to say.

"It'll probably still be a while, getting back to that train station, so we can rest if you guys want to." Said Reigen. There, that had been something. Rest. He knew that he needed it. These were not walking shoes. The kids at least had gym shoes on, being kids they could live in gym shoes if they wanted to, but they had been through a lot more than he had. They had, after all, actually faced the 'whatever that thing was'. Hell, Teru had even been…even been…

Physically Teru was fine.

"You guys look like you need it." Said Reigen turning around. The kids stopped. Teru still looked fine, just a few bumps and bruises. Physically. Mentally or…or whatever that attack had been, that thing that sent him straight to the ground, Reigen did not know. He still wasn't sure what it had been, what had happened, and…and he had no idea what he was supposed to do…or what he even could have done.

If anything.

"I'm fine." Muttered Teru, looking away from Reigen. Even in this darkness Reigen could tell that something was wrong. Ritsu could, too, or at least he should have. It was selfish, maybe, to think that Ritsu should have had any part in comforting Teru. They were both kids after all, but Ritsu being who he was to Teru he could have provided comfort that Reigen couldn't.

They were both kids, though, so he stopped that train of thought before it fully left the station.

"Can we just keep walking?" asked Ritsu. He didn't look away. Reigen could feel Ritsu's eyes on his, or maybe that was his aura. That prickly feeling at the back of his neck. That electric sort of feeling that made the hair on the back of his neck and arms stand up. The feeling that made him want to look away. But he didn't, of course.

He had to be the adult here.

"Are you guys sure? You look…beat." Said Reigen. Alright, maybe not the best choice of words. That prickling feeling turned into straight up stinging, like he had fallen into a bed of poison ivy. Ritsu was full on glaring at him, not his usual resting glare but something more intense…

Reigen wasn't afraid. He was the adult here.

"We're not beat, at least I'm not….I could have won." Said Ritsu, something cold and sharp to his voice. Something that Reigen had never heard before, and hoped to never hear again.

"Alright, ok, maybe that wasn't the best way to put it." Said Reigen

"I could have won! I could have beaten it, taken it, I could have-" said Ritsu

"Ritsu, come on, let's not do this here." Said Reigen

"I could have-" said Ritsu

"You could have died!" shouted Teru

"I wouldn't have. I could have beaten it." Said Ritsu

"No, you couldn't have. If I couldn't do it then you couldn't, either…I don't think that anyone could have." Said Teru

"We're not here to debtate-" said Reigen, raising both hands in a gesture of surrender. Of course it didn't work, he wasn't the one who needed to surrender in this situation.

"I know that I could have. I'm stronger than you. You just like to think that you're stronger, because you're older, but I'm not the one who's had to spend his whole life running. I'm not the one who got kidnapped and trapped and-" said Rtisu

"You had to be saved the same way that I was! Don't stand there and talk to me about who's stronger than who. You would have been one of-of-of THEM if you hadn't been saved. You would have been…it would have happened to you, too, just like it would have happened to me if…if…" said Teru. Surrender on no sides, it seemed. Reigen wasn't going to let this battle progress into an all out war. Not here, not now. He knew both of them, how they got when things got sticky, how prideful they both were even though neither of them would ever have admitted it. He had to stop this before they wound up fighting, physically fighting, or worse…he eyed the woods to the left and right of them wearily.

Yeah, there was no way he was going to be able to find them if they tried to make a break for it.

"Hey, hey, it's in the past. Come on, now. It'll all far, far, in the past." Said Reigen as he put an arm around Teru. Normally Teru would have shrugged him off and said something about wrinkling his shirt, or him having something important to do right that second, or even coming out and telling Reigen that he wasn't a little kid anymore. This time he just stood there. His eyes were back down to the ground. Even in this darkness Reigen could see just how crestfallen he was.

"No…no it's not…" said Teru softly

"Alright, it was just a few years ago, but for someone your age it should feel a lot longer. Time moves differently the older you get, you know. Actually I bet that by the time we get to the train station or…or by the time we pull into Seasoning City Station all of this is just going to be a bad memory, that's all. A bad…a bad memory." Said Reigen. Teru shook his head.

"No, it won't be. It's…I just happened. I mean it feels like it did but…but it also did…I mean…" said Teru

"What are you even talking about?" scoffed Ritsu

"I don't know! I don't know what happened or-or what to call it! It's like I was asleep, ok? It's like I was asleep and I didn't even…even know it." Said Teru

"Well yeah, you passed out." Said Ritsu

"I didn't just pass out. It was like I feel asleep and I was dreaming but…but also I wasn't. Like it was my life but…wrong." Said Teru

"Nobody knows when they're dreaming." Said Ritsu

"Ritsu, come on." Said Reigen

"Why should I? He's the one who lost, not me, and he's the one who-who-he only messed up because his girlfriend was there!" said Ritsu

"Hey-" said Reigen

"It's true! We were the only real psychics there. Everyone else was either just pretending to be a psychic or-or-or really weak like those Awakened or whatever they're called. We were the only people who could have taken that thing on and then we lost and it's all because of him!" said Ritsu

"You were scared too, Ritsu, I was there. Everyone was scared. You don't get to talk to Teru like this." Said Reigen

"I wasn't that scared and-and even if I was I could have worked through it. We needed that thing! How in the hell are we going to win now!?" shouted Ritsu

"Ritsu, tone it down." Said Reigen as he made the universal 'shush up' motion. There had been a lot of people at that thing, a lot of less than savory looking characters, and he didn't want to know what some of them would have done to three people alone in the dark. Two of them being kids. Also Claw had been there. That was what everyone had been whispering about when that girl, and that had been a girl not a short woman, had showed up.

The cover of darkness would only work so well.

"I won't! We're going to lose and…and we're going to lose everything! You guys don't get it, these people are going to try and take over the world! That's-that's-that's…can't you see that's going to be…to be bad!? I mean…I don't know exactly how it's going to be but I know that we can't let it happen! Sometimes it feels like I'm the only one who actually gives a damn about any of this!" shouted Ritsu

"Ritsu, that's unfair. We all know what these people are capable of. You're not alone in this and you never have been." Said Reigen

"Well I feel alone. I feel like…like nobody gets it. Like you're all just…just playing along, or whatever, like how I played along with you when I met you." said Ritsu

"That's…that's understandable. I lied to you and, yes, I know that what I did was wrong. However, two wrongs don't make a right. If you want to talk about what I did and how it hurt you then you talk about it to me and we can work it out. You don't get to yell at Teru, though, you don't get to talk like that to your boyfriend." Said Reigen

"He's not my fucking boyfriend." Said Ritsu

"What did I just say!? Ritsu, what in the hell did I just say?" asked Reigen. He instantly pulled Teru close. That had to have been the cherry on the crap sundae that had been this day. First he gets attacked and then he passed out and then his boyfriend breaks up with him in the worst way possible…Reigen had half a mind to smack Ritsu upside the head for his stupidity and downright cruelty, but he didn't. He didn't want to be that person, not again.

So he just held Teru close.

"I don't care, Reigen, I don't care what you have to say. Not unless it's that we're going back and we're going to try again. I can't lose, I'm not…I'm not going to let that happen to me again. I'll do what needs to be done all by myself if I have to. Then you and Teru can just stay here and wait for Claw to take over the world while I actually do something." said Ritsu as he turned around. Reigen grabbed his arm with his free hand.

"No." said Reigen. He had never sounded more serious, more parental, in his life than he had at that moment. He sounded just like his mom. Just like she had sounded when he had wanted to sneak out of the house at one in the morning to go to the party in the woods, when she had first caught him smoking, that time he had stolen her wallet so he could take the train to Tokyo for summer break, the time that she had caught him on the roof with his sled, the time he told her he was planning on skipping college altogether and becoming a famous TV or film personality, or even…if he went back far enough he had vague memories of her grabbing his arm just like this, getting in his face, and saying 'no' in that same tone when he had been really little…

When she had caught him trying to stick a fork in the electrical socket.

"I said 'no'. I'm not going to let you kill yourself." Said Reigen as Ritsu struggled to get away. If Ritsu had wanted to he could have just used his powers to knock Reigen onto his ass but he didn't. Instead he just stopped struggling and glared…

Progress?

"…not going to kill myself…don't know why you think I will….not Teru…" muttered Ritsu

"I told you not to put Teru down like that. He's been through a lot. You can feel however you're going to feel, that's fine. You can be angry with me, you can be angry with him, you can be angry at the goddamned world if you want to be, but you don't get to treat the people you love like that…and I know that you love him even if you, yourself, are too angry to see it right now. You're hurt, you're scared, you've had enough, and that's alright. We all feel like that. It's alright." Said Reigen. Ritsu pulled his arm free and turned away from them.

"Neither of you has any idea how I feel and you never will. You're a normal person, you don't know what it's like to be…to be like this. To have powers and have to use them to do things that…that are hard and…and you don't even have help! Not real help, anyway…everyone's either normal or close to it. Anyone like me is on Claw's side." said Ritsu softly

"That's not-" said Reigen

"That's not true. I'm not on their side. I would never be on their side." said Teru as he, too, broke free of Reigen grip. He walked towards Ritsu and just stood there near him. He didn't even reach out…though Reigen didn't blame him, not after what Ritsu had said.

"You're on HER side. You've always been on her side. Even though she doesn't like you, you know, she just did it with you to get you on her side. It worked, too." Said Ritsu. Reigen could see it now, where he had been coming from. Jealousy was such an ugly thing to feel. Once it got it's hooks in you it was difficult to shake. Once it got it's hooks into you it made you saw the worst, cruelest, most hurtful things…

He couldn't fault Ritsu too much for what he had said. All of that…it must have hurt.

"I know she doesn't like me…I know that she was just using me. That's what everyone does, they use me, and I let them. I let them use me because I'm afraid of being alone…I hate being alone…but I'm always alone and that's how I'll stay. Once you both stop needing me I'll just go back to being alone. Nobody wants me." said Teru. He said it so…so matter-of-factly that Reigen was sure that he had misheard him. He said it like he had been reading from a shopping list, or going on about some grievous error Reigen had made in his skincare regimen, or even describing what that day's junk mail was…like it was nothing…

That hadn't been nothing.

Reigen didn't say anything, for once in his life being at a complete loss for words. Instead he did the only thing that he could do in that moment. He pulled Teru close, he didn't even try to resist, and held him tightly. He held him a tightly as he could, almost like Teru was liable to run away at any time. Of course it was Teru who was the flight risk, no, that was Ritsu.

Ritsu better not have been getting any idea.

"You're crazy." Said Ritsu. At least he wasn't trying to run. At least he was just restricting himself to be barest of cruelties. You're crazy…not the worst thing that he had said all night. Reigen knew that he should have said something to Ritsu but right now he had a very difficult choice to make. Which of his kids, the kids, needed him more.

Teru won.

"You're not crazy, you're just talking crazy, and believe me I know about talking crazy. Did I ever tell you about the time I was your age and I told everyone I could talk to spirits? That they advised me in every part of my life and that was why I had gotten such good grades? The good grade being a ninety on one test…God. I embarrassed myself so bad that week I tried to change schools." Said Reigen as he held Teru close. He was rambling, he knew that he was rambling, and he knew he needed to reign it in. Not every silence needed to be filled. He, objectively, knew that…or at least his mind did.

His mouth, however, was another story entirely.

"God, it really was a rough week. Mom, though, wouldn't let me change schools. She said 'if you think I'm shelling out money for private school then you're crazy, Arataka' and then she threatened to knock me into next week…God…but she was right, I was talking crazy. I was just hurt and afraid, and embarrassed, but it passed. I thought that nobody would ever like me again and…you know what, this may not be completely applicable to the situation at hand." Said Reigen with a laugh.

"Yeah, you think?" asked Ritsu sarcastically. Reigen chose to ignore him.

"What I was getting at was that I used to feel like that, too, that nobody cared…but they did. I care about you, Teru, and so does Ritsu even if he's having trouble showing it right now. As for that girl…it happens, sometimes. Things don't always work out and that's why people your age shouldn't rush into those physical sorts of things." Said Reigen. Now he was really starting to sound like his parents. Nevertheless he pressed on. He had to.

Teru was looking at him, now.

"I care about you, Teru. Do you think I'd be taking care of you if I didn't?" asked Reigen

"You're just taking care of me because you have to…because I live alone. You're obligated to." Said Teru softly.

"No, what I'm obligated to do, and what I should have done if I had any sense, was call child services. I'm actually not supposed to just let you live with me, but I do it because I care about you and I don't want anything to happen you. Either in your own apartment or in an orphanage or group home or whatever they do with kids who are unwa-who…um…" said Reigen

"You can say it. Unwanted. My parents didn't want me…they didn't even try to protect me. They just sent me here because…because I put them in danger." Said Teru

"Well yeah, but your parents are assholes." Said Ritsu

"Ritsu, don't use that word but, yes, that's what your parents are." Said Reigen. He was the adult there and he knew what he should have said. He should have given Teru some spiel about how everyone had their reasons, even if it didn't look like they were doing the right thing everything happened for a reason, that they were only human and human beings weren't machines so sometimes they made mistakes…but he couldn't do it. He couldn't tell lies that big. Teru's parents were assholes. They were other things, too, other words that he was not about to go and teach the kids. Words that Reigen himself had never even used before. To abandon your own kid…your own flesh and blood…at least Dad had still called every now and again after he'd left, and at least Mom had stuck with him no matter how much grief he caused her. Teru's parents…they were assholes.

But Reigen wasn't.

"They didn't want me." said Teru

"So-" said Reigen

"So fuck them, then. Fuck them and stop feeling sorry for yourself. You don't need to waste your time, and mine, feeling bad because of what a couple of assholes did. Your parents abandoned you, mine let my sister die, and I don't know what Reigen's parents did to him but it messed him up really bad-" said Ritsu

"They didn't really-" said Reigen

"Your best friends are a couple of kids. They messed you up bad." said Ritsu. He heard Teru laugh, a little, a breathy sort of laugh. In the darkness he could have even sworn that he saw him crack a smile. Reigen decided to keep his mouth shut. At least Ritsu was mouthing off for good this time.

"We don't have time for you to feel bad about yourself! We both know that Claw is gearing up to take over the world. We're both on the same forums, we both read the same postings, and we both live near the same Claw base. They're coming and we don't have time for you to cry or for you to talk crazy. Of course I care about you, stupid, if I didn't then I'd just tell you to figure out how to stop Claw on your own while Reigen and I did our thing." Said Ritsu

"You need me because I'm the only other psychic you know, the only other one who's actually got real powers." Said Teru

"Yeah, I NEED you but that doesn't mean that I'm using you, so stop being such a moron already! You're my friend. Do you think I'd hang out with you if you weren't? Do you think I'd go clothes shopping with you and to Lush and stupid places like that if I didn't care about you? I care about you so stop being such a moron and help me capture the-" said Ritsu

"Ritsu." Said Reigen, in his best 'don't you start up again' tone. He channeled a lifetime of listening to both of his parents put on that tone. It seemed to work.

"…we need to go home because it's cold and dark and you're hurt." Said Ritsu. Reigen nodded.

"Good. Now that we've gotten all of that off of our chests let's keep walking before we get attacked by wolves or something." said Reigen

"Wolves are totally extinct in Japan." Said Ritsu

"I know but, I don't know, someone could have released some into the woods." Said Reigen quickly, remembering a movie he had caught on late night TV once. The kids, clearly, were not amused.

"Why would someone release wolves into the woods? Wouldn't that destroy the ecosystem?" asked Ritsu

"Bears, then." Said Reigen with a wave of his hand.

"There aren't any bears in these woods. Wild bears only live Hokkaido, and I think maybe on Honshu and the Shikoku Island, too." Said Ritsu

"There are, on Honshu, I saw them once with my…with my parents…" said Teru

"Tsuchinokos, then. These woods are probably crawling with them…uh…slithering! These woods are probably slithering with them!" said Reigen. The kids looked at each other. It was too dark to really tell but Reigen could have sworn that they were rolling their eyes.

"Hey, I bet that there are plenty of them, and other cryptids, in these woods. When things are a little less crazy we should come out here, really make a trip of it, and see what we can catch." Said Reigen as they began walking. He was just talking to fill the air, that was normal for him, he had never been good with silences of any kind. He didn't care. They didn't need silence right now, they needed to smile, they needed to laugh, they needed to feel normal.

They needed him.

He may have been turning into his parents but that was just one stop, maybe, on the journey of life. The journey to becoming who he was. The journey to becoming whatever he was to these kids. Something more than a friend but, also, something less than a parent. Someone who would smack them upside the head if they were suicidally stupid but also someone who would pull them back if they were just being run-of-the-mill stupid. Someone who would build them up when they needed it…and they did need it. They needed him….mostly. What they needed were parents, Teru moreso than Ritsu obviously, but they needed…but they had him, so of course he was going to make the best of things. He was going to be the best sort of parent but not really that he could be.

He wasn't going to turn into his parents, no, he was going to be better than they had ever been.