MASH Trek: When Star Trek meets MASH 4077
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in MASH or Star Trek: The Next Generation, I just had fun with them
In Fr. Mulcahy's Point of View
Ahh, finally. After a sixty-hour shift in the OR, I was done giving the Final Rights. I was about to go take a shower, when I saw them. A woman in blue and black with a lab-coat on. Her red hair was flying over her shoulders and she was lying face down on the ground. Her companion was a black man with a gold and black suit like the woman. Over his eyes he wore a banana clip. I ran to them to turn them over.
"Kelley! Get Drs. Pierce and Hunnicut! We need some doctors here!"
"Oh, Geordi! Are you okay?" the woman asked.
"Yeah, how are you Doc?" the man asked.
I was, shall we say, amazed. They both seemed okay, but very out of place.
"Umm, hello. Welcome to MASH 4077. I'm Fr. Mulcahy. May I ask your names?" I asked.
The man and woman looked at each other before answering. Before they answered however, Hawkeye showed up. From the look on his face, Hawkeye fell in love with the redheaded woman.
"Well, I'm Doctor Beverly Crusher and this is Lieutenant Commander Geordi LaForge." The woman said. Hawkeye looked extremely excited at the mention of Beverly's name.
"Ahh, a doctor! And what a pretty doctor too!" Hawkeye said.
"Hawkeye! What do you think you're doing? You have to excuse Hawkeye. Oh, pardon my manners. These are Doctor Benjamin Franklin Pierce, and Doctor BJ Hunnicut." I said.
"Call me Hawkeye, please Doctor, Lt. Commander." Hawkeye said.
"Umm, we really need to get back to our ship…" Beverly started to say before LaForge stopped her.
"Beverly! Don't say anything. We could mess up the time-line. We have to be careful on what we say."
"Oh, right."
I thought this was an interesting conversation. What did they mean the "time-line"? Could they perhaps be from the future? The future? Good Lord, the future!
"Um, Captains, I believe that the Doctor and Lt. Commander would prefer to be somewhere other than dirt land of Korea. Let's at least get them to Post-Op. Wait, better yet, Pre-Op. There's more room." I said.
Hawkeye and BJ helped Crusher and LaForge up and escorted them to Pre-Op. I followed and after both of visitors were resting, I pulled both BJ and Hawkeye aside and jerked my head towards Colonel Potter's tent, suggesting we go tell him about the visitors. Hawkeye and BJ nodded and went to get Margaret and Charles also, since the whole staff should know.
"Colonel, we have some visitors. Except I think they are from the future." I said after the medical staff was in the office.
"The future? What do you mean Padre?" Potter asked.
"Well, the man, LaForge, said something about the time-line. Not to mention to their clothes. I think they are a uniform of some type, but I don't recognize them." I said.
"I'd have to agree with the Father on that one. Hey! That beauty is a doctor! Imagine, a doctor." Hawkeye said.
"Hmm, I would to examine them for any injuries. No, Pierce you can't help." Potter helped.
After the meeting, I went to check on our guests. I was curious about LaForge's eye covering. Maybe he could explain it.
"Why, hello again. How are you doing? Let me introduce you to our commanding officer, Lt. Colonel Sherman T. Potter." I told our visitors.
"A pleasure to meet you. I just want to check for injuries. We have a 97.5 survival rate." Potter said.
"Excuse me, Colonel, both Lt. Commander LaForge and I are fine. I am a doctor and I know how to take care of myself. Thank you though for your stats." Crusher told the Colonel.
Potter looked surprised, but then noticed LaForge's eyepiece.
"Excuse me Lt. Commander, what is that?"
"This, Colonel, is how I see. I was born blind, so I have never really seen anything." LaForge explained.
"May I? I'd like to examine this interesting eye piece." I asked.
"Why, sure, Father. May I ask a question? What is your purpose for being here?" LaForge asked.
"I am the chaplain here at the 4077th. I am the religious leader. May I ask where you are stationed? Since I assume that you are both in the military since you use military titles."
"Well, umm, actually, we'd rather not say. We are from, I guess you could say, San Francisco." Crusher said.
"San Francisco? Well, BJ is from Mill Valley, I'm sure he would like to hear about home." Potter said.
"I'm sure he knows more about what's going on there than we do. Father, we are stationed on a secret base, if we tell you, we'll have to kill you." LaForge said.
"Gerodi!" Crusher said under her breath.
"We'll leave you alone. It looks like you need to rest. But, if you hear choppers or a PA announcement saying 'Incoming Casualties' we'll need you to clear out." Potter said.
"Colonel, may I help if there are any casualties?" Crusher asked.
"Why, I'm not sure you're quite used to these surgical conditions. But I appreciate the offer. Perhaps you could help the nurses, or with triage." Potter told Crusher.
"I'll talk to the nurses. I'll introduce you to Major Margaret Houlihan." I said.
"Thank you Father Mulcahy."
Colonel Potter and I left the visitors alone.
"Padre, what do you think of them? They seem a little out-of-place here in Korea." Potter asked me.
"I told you my view on them. I still believe they are from the future." I said.
Lt. Commander Geordi LaForge's Point of ViewBeverly and I were in the Cargo Bay and we "killed two birds with one stone" to put it. The next thing I knew we were laying on the dirt ground back on EARTH! This older looking man ran up to us and welcomed us to the MASH 4077 and introduced himself as Father Mulcahy. After being introduced to Doctors Hawkeye Pierce and BJ Hunnicut, we were led to their "Pre-Op" and left alone.
Beverly took out her tri-corder and scanned herself then me. According to the tri-corder we were both fine.
" I don't like this. We are fine, but I don't know where we are." Beverly said.
"Me either. I don't really care for Pierce or Hunnicut much, but Mulcahy seems likeable. What do you think Doctor?" I asked.
"Pierce and Hunnicut are, shall we say, unique and I agree with you about Mulcahy. Mulcahy doesn't look like he's a "military" type of guy. To tell you the truth, Pierce and Hunnicut don't either." Beverly said.
We sat in silence for a bit. Then two people walked in. One was in the olive green Army color and the other was in a pink dress. The one in the olive green looked like he was only 18 or perhaps 19. I knew what Beverly was thinking…this person in the green could be Wesley. As for the man in pink dress looked like he was from a desert country, definitely not the United States of America.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know anyone was in here." The one in the olive green said.
"That's okay. I'm Doctor Crusher. Who are you two fine gentlemen?" Beverly asked.
"I'm Corporal Walter O'Reilly, but everyone calls me Radar. This is…." The one in the olive green said.
"I'm Corporal Maxwell Q. Klinger at your service. Is there anything I can do for Doctor?"
I step in front of Beverly at this point sensing that things could get out of hand soon if I did not put a stop to this.
"Excuse me, but I am the doctor's boyfriend, Lt. Commander Geordi LaForge. Can I do anything for you Corporal Klinger?"
Yes, I was attempting to be mean, and I liked it. I could also feel Beverly's glare. I know better than that, but I felt like I had to protect her.
"Umm, no. Sorry sir. I didn't know. Excuse me, I think Colonel Potter is calling." Klinger said as he rushed out of Pre-Op.
Just then, Beverly and I started laughing. Klinger was so funny, and he fell for it! I couldn't believe it! Radar looked at us strangely and asked what was so funny.
"Well, you see, I'm not really her boyfriend. I'm just a friend." I said as both of us bust up laughing. Radar shook his head and left Pre-Op.
"Geordi, why did you do that?" Beverly asked.
"I don't think the people here are used to women, and seeing that you are a very attractive woman, some of these people could want you sexually. I wanted to protect you from that." I said.
"You don't have too. I'll be fine." Beverly said.
"The captain would have my hide if something were to happen to you." I said, knowing it was true.
"Ahh, yes Jean-Luc would. Thank you. I just hope you can pull that off with Pierce. He looked at me like he wanted me that way too." Beverly said.
I was worried about that too. I just hope I was strong enough to stop him. As I was thinking, and Beverly was lost in her own thoughts, Fr. Mulcahy and another older looking man came in. The father introduced him as Colonel Potter, the commanding officer. We talked for a bit about my VISOR and Father Mulcahy's position here at the MASH 4077th. After Father Mulcahy and Colonel Potter left, I looked at Beverly and knew she would be okay. Colonel Potter was a strong leader and wouldn't let his doctors run wild after Beverly.
"So, what do you think of Colonel Potter?" I asked.
"What to say about him? He's very different from our captain, but in some ways he's similar." Beverly said.
"You think Potter is comparable to Captain Picard? How? I don't see a resemblance to them at all, except for that fact they both have a certain authority about them." I said.
"If you say so Geordi. I just see a similarity between them." Beverly said.
We fell silent, lost in thoughts for a couple minutes. Our thoughts were interrupted by an announcement over the PA system.
"Attention! All Personnel! Incoming Wounded. All shifts report to triage!"
At that, both Beverly and I ran out of the Pre-Op building. Fr. Mulcahy and a blonde woman came running up to us.
"Doctor Crusher! Before we get too deep in surgery, let me introduce you to Major Margaret Houilhan. She's our head nurse and I'm sure your help will be appreciated. Lt. Commander, you might be of some help too." Mulcahy said.
"Doctor, Commander, what do you know about meat-ball surgery?" Houihan asked.
Both Beverly and I looked at each other, both having no idea what she meant.
"Ahh, I see you have no idea what I mean. Commander, could you start by putting men on stretchers and taking them into OR when the doctors call for the next patient? Doctor, I need some help with triage." Houihan said.
Soon it was evident that both Beverly and I were "out of our league" in a sense we didn't know what do to. So we were both hauling wounded to the operating tables and making sure those coming out were doing fine.
Beverly looked appalled at the surgical proceedings. I was amazed how many men were saved using those crude methods. After the tedious OR session, we were both wiped out.
Potter, Winchester, whom we met taking patients in and out of the OR, Pierce, Hunnicut, Houlihan, Radar, and Mulcahy asked us to join them at the Officers Club for a drink. We accepted. On our way to the Officers Club, we got to see the more human side of Potter, Winchester, and Houlihan. To me, it seemed like these people were the best MASH unit in the history of the United States. It's a shame I didn't learn more about them in school.
In Doctor Beverly Crusher's Point of View"Attention! All Personnel! Incoming Wounded. All shifts report to triage!"
Geordi and I looked at each other and ran out of the Pre-Op building.
"Doctor Crusher! Before we get too deep in surgery, let me introduce you to Major Margaret Houilhan. She's our head nurse and I'm sure your help will be appreciated. Lt. Commander, you might be of some help too." Mulcahy said.
"Doctor, Commander, what do you know about meat-ball surgery?" Houihan asked.
"Commander, could you start by putting men on stretchers and taking them into OR when the doctors call for the next patient? Doctor, I need some help with triage." Houihan said.
"What do you need Major?" I asked.
"You need to find what's wrong with the patient and then diagnosis the problem. Then tell the enlisted men if they can wait or if needed to get into OR right away. And Doctor, not everything is as bad as it seems." Houihan said.
I started to take out my tri-corder, but decided against it. I would have to do this by hand, or eye. There were a lot of young men hurt here. My thoughts went towards Wesley, thinking that he could be here.
Geordi and I were soon put on the ever-precious job of hauling men in and out of the OR. Every time I went into the OR, I was appalled at the crudeness of the room. I hated to see the real scalpels. These things could kill the patients, but its what they, the doctors, used during this time period. We met a Major Charles Emerson Winchester the third carrying men to the tables. Pierce and Hunnicut were throwing jokes around and Potter didn't do a thing to stop them. It surprised me.
After, what seemed forever, all the patients were in Post-Op recovering. I was honestly amazed that all the men came out alive. Potter, Houlihan, Winchester, Pierce, Hunnicut, Radar, and Mulcahy invited Geordi and me to the Officers Club. These people were amazing. I was impressed at their skill as surgeons.
"Doctor Crusher, may I ask a question?" Pierce asked.
I looked at Geordi, he was immediately at my side to protect me if needed.
"Yes?"
"What is it that you practice? You seemed okay seeing all the blood in the OR. It's not every person who comes here that is that strong around all the blood." Pierce said.
The other MASH officers looked at me for my answer. I didn't really know what to say, and didn't want to give away that Geordi and I were from the future. Finally I decided to tell the truth, or part of it.
"I am personal physician to almost one thousand people. But mainly the senior officers in my unit. I have had to perform surgery on many people and delivered many babies and treat many wounds." I said.
"And what about LaForge's eyepiece? That's something I've never seen before. That is a very unique piece of equipment." Father Mulcahy asked.
"This is my VISOR. This allows me to see. Without it, I'm blind. It's kind of hard to explain how it works." Geordi said.
"Ahh, may I examine it? I am interested in treating blind people." Winchester said.
"Charles! He just said he's blind without it! Don't take away his sight. That's just not fair." Pierce said.
"Lt. Commander, what is that you do? I mean you seemed pretty calm in OR too." Radar said.
"Well, first of all you may call me Geordi. I'm not one for titles especially off-duty." Geordi started.
"And may I call you Beverly?" Pierce said looking at me.
"No you may not. My girlfriend is one for titles. Now back off Pierce!" Geordi said.
"But, sir, didn't you say that you and the doctor weren't going out." Radar said.
"Ah, but dear Radar, that's because after you left, I asked her out and now we are." Geordi said, "and don't call me sir off-duty."
I couldn't help it, I started laughing. Pierce looked at me and started to laugh too. Soon we were all laughing and having a good time. Slowly the MASH officers headed to bed, and I wondered where Gerodi were to sleep. I looked at Geordi and we got up to talk to Potter.
"Um, Colonel? Where are we supposed to sleep?" I asked.
"Well, we could set one of up in the VIP tent, or we could find room in the nurses and enlisted men's tents." Potter said.
"Honestly, I would prefer to stay away from Pierce." I said.
"Well, you can bunk with me if you want to Crusher." Houlihan said.
"Thank you Major. What about Geordi, uh Commander LaForge?" I asked.
"He could be in the VIP tent. If that's okay with him." Potter said.
"Fine. I'll see you in the morning Doctor, Major, Colonel." Geordi said before going into the tent.
"Night, Margaret, Doctor Crusher." Potter said.
"Thank you Major. I apprectiate it."
"No problem. I can see that you were very comfortable in the OR, but not necessary with the procedures. Why is that? And you can tell me the truth." Houlihan said. "Please call me Margaret."
"I am a doctor on board a ship, but not as in the ship you know, a different kind of ship. And I do take care of almost one thousand people, with a group of doctors and nurses. I am the Chief Medical Officer." I said not wanting to say much more than that with out Geordi.
"There's something you're not telling me isn't there?" Margaret asked.
I nodded, but said, "I want to be with Geordi when I say the rest."
Margaret nodded, and she left it at that. We both fell into a deep sleep. The next thing I knew, there was another PA announcement announcing the arrival of more wounded. Great. Another OR session.