Chapter 106 – Stories on a Plane
(OPOV)
Optimus strode hand in hand with his Kae to the Med-bay, on his way to reclaim his body. His Kae had been somewhat irritable that Galloway had gotten a gun so close to him.
But he'd interfaced that irritability right back out of her again.
She glanced up at him in amusement as his spark hummed with smug enjoyment of the memory of making her overload so many times.
General Moreshower pelted into the corridor at top speed.
"Am I late?" he shouted.
"Right on time," Optimus rumbled in amusement, leading the way into the Med-bay. He rather enjoyed it anytime he got to reclaim his body, his Medical Officer was incredibly fond of watching a body re-claimed without the necessity of casting.
Ratchet grinned at him and calmly lifted him to the berth, as was a habit of theirs from the first time he'd reclaimed his adult body.
He surveyed his body for a moment, smiling at the multitude of small, almost unnecessary repairs his Kae had made. It was the little things that made the difference, though.
Optimus settled into place and sighed in relief as his body merged again, energon flickering over his combined frames and every system shifting at his command.
"Whoa..." the general murmured in awe as a surge of energon flashed over his frame, incorporating the repairs that had been made and polishing his frame to a gleaming shine.
He sat up and nodded to Ratchet with a small smile as the medic began his routine of scanning and making sure everything was in place.
It felt good to be back in his own body again.
His personal notes came to the front processors, he viewed them for a moment and nodded to himself, carefully ejecting the processor Arcee had loaned him, leaving his own note of thanks on it and handing it to her with a nod.
Which left hunting down Lieutenant Jacobs.
"General," Optimus rumbled with a smile.
"That's just freaking cool," Chris Moreshower grinned up at him. "Feel good to be back in your own body again?"
"Immensely," Optimus rumbled with a smile, stretching in his vastly powerful bipedal form. He reached for his Kae and settled her on his shoulder.
That felt rather pleasant as well.
"Right, so onto the topics we glossed over yesterday," General Moreshower stated amicably. "I've actually got one that you might enjoy. The UN is requesting that either you, or one or two of the bots drop by in Korea, they're hoping you might see fit to help them clear out a minefield or ten."
"That is an excellent idea," Optimus rumbled with a smile. "If they are amenable, Ironhide, Bumblebee, Mikaela and I will go, particularly if they do not mind us simply blowing up the mines in secluded areas."
"I'll pipe that through," the General grinned, he looked at his notepad. "Oh, well that was the last thing I needed to ask you about, anyway."
"Coffee for the road General?" Mikaela called out with a smile.
"I was so hoping you'd say that, can I have that really strong shot thing you do?" he grinned up at her. Optimus rumbled a laugh and rose at Ratchet's nod, gently setting his Kae down again.
Then he caught sight of Lieutenant Jacobs.
"Excuse me," he rumbled quickly, onlining his holoform and running after the lieutenant.
"Jacobs!" He called out quickly.
"Optimus, how'd it go?" the man grinned, glancing around the mostly deserted corridor.
"Perfectly," Optimus smirked. "I am in your debt, Jacobs, so I ask how I might repay your patience with a culture shocked bot."
Jacobs frowned in thought for a moment, opened his mouth and closed it again.
Optimus looked at him curiously.
"I'm sorry, I'm kinda afraid to ask," Jacobs muttered.
"Ask what?" Optimus rumbled curiously.
"Well, I was kinda wondering if I could fire your cannon, just once," the man stated. He held up his hands. "I don't mean like getting the technology off of you guys, I just meant... you know, sitting on your arm or something next time you lot are working on your target practice, I've always wondered what it's like being on the firing end of one of those cannons..."
Optimus looked at the man and felt two and two click together brilliantly.
"Hey Prime!" General Moreshower called out, holding up his phone. "That was Mr. Moon, he said that the Koreans tend to blow the mines up themselves, if you can get a field cleared off by blowing the lot of them up they're saying that you'd practically be clearing up and tilling their fields for them to plant the crops."
Perfect.
"Lieutenant Jacobs," Optimus rumbled with a broad smirk. "Would you care to join Ironhide, Bumblebee, Mikaela and myself in Korea for some minefield target practice?"
"You're serious!?" Jacobs demanded.
"Absolutely serious," Optimus nodded seriously.
"We're gonna go blow shit up with cannons outside of a battle?" the man demanded. Optimus nodded. Jacobs looked at the General cautiously.
"You look about one General's turned back away from a touchdown dance," Moreshower commented mildly, taking a sip of his coffee. "Permission granted."
"That's very kind of you, sir," Jacobs nodded seriously before he promptly began stomping around with a wolfish grin on his face.
Optimus watched the man and couldn't hold back his own laughter.
"When did they want us to arrive?" he rumbled with a smile.
"As soon as possible," the General shrugged. Optimus ran through his schedule. It was Tuesday.
"I shall have to return for next Wednesday," he rumbled musingly. He looked around and waved to Lennox. "By your leave, Major, I shall be immediately absconding with Lieutenant Jacobs for some UN work."
"Clearing minefields? You taking Ironhide?" Will grinned. Optimus jumped slightly.
::. Ironhide.:: he sent over the primary.
::. Youngling.:: Ironhide sent back cheerfully.
::. Care to join the expedition to blow up minefields?.::
::. You feel you even need to ask!?.:: Ironhide replied with a snort.
::. Bumblebee?.::
::. En-route sir!.:: the scout sent excitedly.
"Myself, Ironhide, Mikaela, Bumblebee, Jacobs," Optimus reeled off patiently.
"I'll get the plane ready," Moreshower snorted, wandering toward the communications central. Mikaela looked up at him curiously.
"You are beginning to feel cooped up, my Kae," Optimus rumbled with a smile, lightly cupping her chin. "You hide it well, but you truly are the weapons master's niece. Go pack."
Mikaela whooped and sprinted toward their quarters, nimbly dodging Ironhide's feet as the weapons master laughed at her on his way to the entrance bay.
"Translation?" Will snorted.
"My niece and I can't stand sittin' around doin' nothing, and we both enjoy 'blowin' shit up' as you so put it," Ironhide snorted.
Will laughed at them and waved his hand.
Mikaela was jogging back toward them, meeting Jacobs mid-jog in the corridor.
"Niece!" Ironhide rumbled. "Bring your exo!"
Kae promptly set her duffle down and went back into her quarters, fetching the central connector that she had hidden. She was back and running in moments as Optimus offlined his holoform, striding casually to the Med-bay doors.
"Are you bringing the flight deck?" she asked curiously.
"No," Optimus rumbled musingly. "I would suggest that you put your exo in Ironhide's box, if he does not mind."
"Done," Ironhide snorted, he transformed and drove into the med-bay with his niece catching hold of his box and tagging along.
Jacobs was bouncing, a broad grin on his face as he waited.
Optimus looked down at him and snorted back a laugh.
"You. Are the best person. Ever." Jacobs told him seriously.
"What'd he do this time?" Ironhide rumbled in amusement, blinking his holoform to walk beside himself as he and Kae emerged from the med-bay.
"Do you remember Sigma five?" Optimus rumbled with a smile.
Ironhide stared at him for a long moment and burst out laughing, he looked at Jacobs, looked back at Optimus and began laughing harder.
"Do we get to know?" Kae asked her uncle with a smile.
"We'll wait until we're on the plane, long story," Ironhide snorted. He heaved a deep sigh and grinned up at Optimus with his holoform. "I'd forgotten, Optimus, thank you for reminding me about that."
He blinked his holoform out and Optimus smiled as Kae quickly scaled his leg, jumping into his hand. Two steps and he was in the entrance bay, transforming around his Kae just as his scout rolled in, spinning a donut and almost bouncing on his tires as he waited.
"Auto-bots, Roll out!" Optimus rumbled with a smile.
Jacobs whooped as he scrambled into Ironhide's cab.
"Tell the story!" the man grinned at the mech, his voice carried on the radio.
"When we get to the plane," Ironhide snorted.
"Tell another story?"
"When we get to the plane youngling," Ironhide laughed. He drove in silence... for the most part, Optimus following he and his scout with Kae teasing him mercilessly.
Mostly because every time Ironhide started randomly laughing again he couldn't stop snorting his own amusement. Primus only knew what stories were running through the weapons master's processors at the moment.
Every time he started snorting back his own amusement, revving his engine up in the process, Mikaela would start laughing at him, and trying just as hard not to. Then she'd stroke light fingers over his seat.
Which felt incredible. He'd begin to hum softly.
Except then Ironhide would start laughing again.
(JaPOV)
Jacobs couldn't believe his luck, he was riding with a laughing Ironhide. Optimus had personally invited him to come along on a peaceful mission.
And that peaceful mission included blowing up old landmines.
Score.
Of course it meant using up a potential favour from the leader of the Auto-bots, but shit, he'd helped the bot refine the art of seducing his fiancee. He could'a done that any old time.
Gettin' to sit on the bot's arm while he fired off one of those massive cannons? That. Was just fucking awesome. Once in a lifetime fucking awesome shit.
Not to mention there were gonna be some stories on the way.
'Cause Ironhide was laughing. And he kept bursting out into laughter every few miles.
Jacobs had absolutely no qualms in admitting that he was grinning like the kid that got handed the keys to the candy store.
He could already feel the jealousy of several of the other soldiers.
Smug.
Bumblebee, Optimus and Ironhide quickly drove into the plane, and Jacobs got out of Ironhide's cab, making sure that he took his duffle bag.
"Don't worry about that," Ironhide's holoform drawled with a smirk. "Carryin' a load anyway. C'mon. Campfire."
Bumblebee winked his holoform online with a broad grin the next moment.
"Story time!?" the little scout demanded.
"Why you lot have such a hunger for my old, rehashed stories is beyond me," Ironhide snorted.
"Quite simple," Jacobs grinned, carefully strapping the weapons master in as Kae took care of her Optimus and little-brother. "Everybody knows that when you and Ratchet start laughing about something, a story of epic proportions – the like of which us simple earth fleshbags have never before beheld I might add – is well on it's way to being told."
Ironhide stared at him for a moment and burst out laughing again.
"What, you didn't know that it's become our unofficial official unit motto?" Jacobs continued with a shit-eating grin.
"What's the motto?" Ironhide demanded with a snort.
"It's a good day on patrol when Ironhide is laughing," Jacobs stated solemnly.
The bot stared at him and laughed, Optimus and Bumblebee grinning at him.
Kae strapped herself into the seat and Jacobs flopped down beside her as the holoforms moved to sit comfortably around them.
The fact that Bumblebee was sitting on the ground with a broad grin, staring up at Ironhide was good for a laugh in itself.
(IPOV)
Ironhide was almost having difficulty driving, he kept going back to the stories that Optimus' singular comment had brought back.
Youngling rip.
Ironhide snorted and began laughing again.
It was quite the relief that Optimus still let him get away with calling him the youngling rip. Youngling rip of a Prime. Ironhide snorted.
He drove onto the plane and decided to stay in his alt form, but he did appreciate it that Jacobs made to take his duffle with him regardless.
"Don't worry about that," he drawled, onlining his holoform to nod at Jacobs. "Carryin' a load anyway. C'mon. Campfire."
He looked around with a smirk as Jacobs carefully strapped him in.
Which he'd gotten used to, now, at least it saved gettin' tossed about.
"Story time!?" Bumblebee demanded with a grin.
"Why you lot have such a hunger for my old, rehashed stories is beyond me," Ironhide snorted.
"Quite simple," Jacobs grinned. "Everybody knows that when you and Ratchet start laughing about something, a story of epic proportions – the like of which us simple earth fleshbags have never before beheld, I might add – is well on it's way to being told."
Ironhide stared at the man for a moment and burst out laughing again.
"What, you didn't know that it's become our official unofficial unit motto?" Jacobs continued with a shit-eating grin.
It had what?
"What's the motto?" Ironhide demanded with a snort.
"It's a good day on patrol when Ironhide is laughing," Jacobs stated solemnly.
Seriously? They figured a good day patrolling was when he was laughing? Because when he was laughing he was telling them stories.
That was quite possibly the nicest thing anyone had ever said about him. He burst out laughing, Bee and Optimus grinning at him.
Kae strapped herself into the seat and Jacobs flopped down beside her as the holoforms moved to sit comfortably around them.
The fact that Bumblebee's holoform was sitting on the ground with a broad grin, staring up at him was good for a laugh in itself.
Of course Bumblebee was always there to listen to his stories. Dear little bot.
"Alright, I'm about to tell you a story about your mate, my niece," Ironhide grinned, looking around at his captive audience. "Sigma five."
Jacobs leaned forward with a grin.
"So this was around oh, two hundred vorn or so ago, just after Optimus was revealed as Prime," Ironhide started with a grin. "Now. Orion Pax the Archivist, he was used to going anywhere he wanted, because he was an archivist and it was his job to learn everything. But Optimus Prime, well, he's an insanely valuable bot now, our leader. And archivist or not, he knew a lot about weapons and fighting, but he just hadn't practiced any of it." Ironhide smirked at his Prime. Youngling rip.
"Primus I miss the archives," Optimus rumbled for the four thousand and seventeenth time, rolling his optics.
"You and me both youngling," Ironhide snorted. "Right, so as a Prime, technically he could do whatever he damn well wanted. But as Weapons Master, it was my job to make sure the youngling rip didn't go and get himself killed. Nobody targets an archivist, they share information freely with any and every bot that asks. But a Prime? Target number one."
"Ooh, that's a tough job," Jacobs muttered. Optimus snorted. Ironhide grinned at them.
"Right, so he and I decided that getting out of the city for a little while would do the both of us some good." Ironhide rumbled with a grin. "So we went out to Sigma five, another city, but more of a rural one."
"Home to one of the most prestigious hatcheries," Optimus added quietly.
"Which was a mistake, on my part," Ironhide snorted. "Don't get me wrong, I adore playing with hatchlings, but Optimus takes it to an art."
"Why do I get the feeling I know where this is going?" Mikaela asked in amusement, looking at her Optimus. He shot her an innocent look.
"Sigma five keeps close watch over it's hatchlings," Ironhide rumbled with a snort. "Enough so that they'd never lost one to the wilds. Of course, that meant that there were perhaps a dozen or so rather rebellious younglings continually trying to escape to go explore."
"You didn't," Mikaela demanded, looking at Optimus.
"It was fun," Optimus rumbled in dignified tones.
"Oh god what happened!?" Jacobs demanded.
"Optimus got up in the early breem of the orn, and escaped with all fourteen of those younglings in tow." Ironhide rumbled with a snort.
"They were very well behaved," Optimus rumbled airily.
"Right, they were very well behaved for you, because you spent most of the time with two on each leg, four dangling from your back, two hanging off your chest plates and one on each arm, firing off fake shots from your cannons at holoforms of jork." Ironhide snorted.
Bumblebee burst out laughing.
"I would pay to see that," he grinned.
Ironhide grinned and brought up a secondary holoform, the image that had burned itself into his processors once he'd finally located that rip.
Mikaela was laughing softly, Ironhide looked at her carefully and smiled.
There was an absolute of love in her eyes as she looked at the still holo of the still-silver Optimus Prime, grinning like a mad-bot with younglings crawling all over him.
He looked around and decided to press his luck, playing the clip.
"Optimus, what the scrap are you doing!?" mini-holo-Ironhide bellowed at him, firing at the jork himself. He'd admitted to himself later that they'd been blasted good holoforms.
Optimus had turned around, looking absolutely innocent.
"Now here's the kicker," Ironhide snorted.
"We out jork huntin' Masta Ironhide!" one of the younglings had piped up gleefully from Optimus' arm.
"But only when there's a big-bot to take us, we stay in a group," another stated piously.
The rest of them had promptly begun cheering as the jork holoforms winked out.
"How do you stay angry with that?" Ironhide rumbled grumpily, smirking at Mikaela.
"Aaww, object lesson and the day out that they'd always wanted," Mikaela murmured gently, reaching up and cupping Optimus' cheek.
Ironhide grinned and glanced at Bumblebee as Optimus ducked down to press a kiss to her lips. The scout was beaming.
"Another story!" Jacobs grinned.
"Right..." Ironhide started, grinning. "So have I ever told you about my old buddy Springer..."