Don't Know What You've Got ('til it's Gone)

People: Slade and Mega.

Couples: Mava – must be referred to although not necessarily included.

Phrases: "Why oh why did she have to die", "trying to touch a star is all very well until it shoots down and burns you", "you left me for a ghost".

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, Cloud 9 owns the Tribe

Challenge by: El Kitty Witty

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(Series 5)

"Trying to touch a star is all very well until it shoots down and burns you," a voice began coming down the stairs.

He looked up, "Well it burned me. And I passed it on to another to burn her too. What are you doing here?"

"You left me for a ghost you know. She's gone- she's never coming back but I'm here, right here, and I'm not going anywhere"

He didn't say a word- he knew what she said was what she meant. Not wanting to look at her- he looked down at the ground and played with his hands a bit. He wasn't going to answer it… but he was in his own but how to start- was harder than he thought.

"You know I used to ask myself things- Why oh why did she have to die, why did she do it? Why I never wanted for her because we both know she wanted me- and then one day I realised- it didn't matter. Because part of me died with her," Mega said after a minute looking up at the person at the cage.

"Are you saying that loved her?" the figure demanded.

"I'm saying- I wish I didn't hate her- I'm saying that a small part of me died with her- the part that carried regret, passion for the dark side, and that sense of cold serenity. But everything I feel- anything I feel now is nothing but a black hole where that black heart should be," Mega answered.

"So what was I then to you? Didn't I inspire you any? Didn't I push you any?" the figure demanded as soaked wet tears filled the corner of their eyes. Her hands wrapping around the cage door.

"No. You were nothing but game, nothing but a game Tai-san".

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(The next morning)

Slade walked down the steps and noticed the change right away- the night before Mega looked liked he was going to go on murdering rampage, and right then- he looked like something had got to him.

"Josh?"

By habit, Mega got up and turned around his back facing the cage.

"I see we're back to this again," Slade said sighing before moving to sit down, "Well I'm not going anywhere again until you face me"

"Then you're going to be sitting out there a long time," Mega replied in an ice cold tone.

"Fine by me," Slade retorted.

He wasn't leaving until Mega talked to him once. It didn't matter about what- but something that was bothering him. His brother was nothing shell right now but by the time Slade was done with him… well he wouldn't be anymore to say the very least.

"Wanna talk about the look on your face I noticed- the one that looked dangerously like guilt?" Slade after a minute.

Mega remained standing with his arms crossed on the other side- determined to shut him out. Slade didn't seem to understand that they had nothing to talk about. Mega had no desire to talk with him whatsoever. He was wasting his time as far as Mega was concerned.

Slade inhaled a breath and rolled his eyes crossing his arms, "Fine, be a stubborn but I'm still not going anywhere. Ebony can keep herself busy- and this isn't my tribe so I have no obligations to them. Whether you like it or not- and I'm guessing its not- my schedule is clear until I have to go to bed," Slade informed him crossing his legs now, "So when you're ready to give me five minutes of your valuable time. Turn around, sit down, and talk".

(2-3 hours later)

Well, if there was one thing to said- Slade was serious when he said he wasn't going anywhere. Mega normally had to suffer being locked down in some cage with nothing to do day in and day out.

Now to make it worse- he was stuck with Slade sitting right outside there- and worse off- it's not even Slade was doing anything- he was just SITTING there- staring at his back… every few minutes- he randomly say something- anything it seemed like that related to Mega.

Mega would just stone wall him as always but now it was beginning to drive him insane- didn't that have anything better to do? ANYTHING?

"Don't you have ANYTHING better to do?" Mega asked finally.

Slade automatically felt himself a rise a bit and focus and determination get a bit of a kick. FINALLY- he actually spoke.

"No".

Mega sighed and kicked the ground a bit, "We both know that's a lie".

"Is it? Well haven't seen anyone rushing to get my attention now have you?" Slade challenged crossing his arms, "Sorry but the only thing I have to do is sit here, then go eat, then go to bed- and do it again until you decide to give me five minutes," he reported with a smirk on his face a bit.

Oh he was cracking him now.

"Just leave ing leave already," Mega said finally.

"No"

"Why not?" he demanded looking over his shoulder a bit.

"Because I don't feel like it," Slade retorted his grin growing- now there small form of eye contact.

Now they were getting somewhere.

"You're a stubborn "

"You're a bigger one"

"Fine!" Mega said darkly around and sitting on the ground at the wall of the cage and looking forward.

Slade officially broke out in a victory smirk- he got him now.

"That only took you… three hours. Next time how about we just go for 12?" he demanded sarcastically.

"Okay well if you're done then," Mega said moving to turn back around.

"Wait! I shouldn't have said that- I'm being impossible now. Just five minutes," Slade partially begged.

"Fine" Mega relented pushing his legs back down to their original seating position, "Well?" he demanded a second later.

"It wouldn't kill you to move closer," Slade looking at him.

"I like we're I'm sitting," Mega answered folding his arms, "Now if you want to set anymore terms- then do it but don't expect this "conversation" to continue or even start," Mega warned.

He wasn't playing with Slade. This was not something he'd sign up for willingly. He only did it because…. He had to!

"All right, I'll cut to the chase then. What was that look earlier?" Slade inquired with a strong hint of curiosity.

Mega looked at him sharply for a minute, "This conversation is now over- sorry but I can't answer that…" he said moving to get up again.

"JOSHUA- sit down," Slade warned.

Mega glared at him but slowly sat back down, "The name is Mega for the millionth time this week. I already told you to butt out- if you can't do that then we don't need to do that. I'd rather stare at the wall".

Slade stared back, "I'm not going anywhere till you tell me. I'm sick of this now. You said five minutes and already you're playing around. I'm not one of your lackeys- I don't do things on your terms. And I'm not the city people- I'm not some thing you can manipulate and throw a bone casually acting like you care and then dangle it till you get your way. It doesn't work that way. Either you level with me or else I'll sit here clear into the morning"

"You wouldn't…"

"Care to test me?"

""

"You can keep up the insults and common phrases but they aren't going to get you the freedom from me that you seem so desperately want," Slade said in a controlled tone, "I'm not leaving to you level with me- and no matter what you do- it won't work. Don't make me sit in there with you until you do it".

Mega felt his eyes pop out a bit in fear- he wouldn't… he wouldn't dare… would he? He felt himself shallow involuntary.

"Fine….. you win? Okay? Just stay where you are," Mega relented quietly.

Slade stopped a looked at him, "I'm sorry what was that? I didn't quite hear that"
"I said YOU WIN, all right?" Mega snapped.

Slade nodded, "Thank you… well go on," he said after a minute.

"It's called guilt- you know the one thing you don't seem to have," Mega reported.

Slade ignored the insult, "Who was it directed at?"

"How do you know it's a person?"

"Because of the way you jumped at the door opening- as if you shocked the person could show their face. Are they dead?" Slade inquired.

"Yes"

"Do you kill them?"

"No"

"How did they die?" Slade asked.

"She committed suicide," Mega said finally.

"Why?" Slade asked with interest- who was it that Mega knew that would do something like that? The Techno females didn't cross him as that emotional.
Mega looked down, "My programme worked a little too well…"

"Your programme?"

"Ram told me to reprogramme her- and it worked… perfectly at first…. Through time I saw holes in it. Spouts of emotional rage and pain. Little shots of confused memory. She'd then call his name… and then black out," Mega said slowly.

"Who was he?"

"Her boyfriend- or something like that- I didn't care that much to ask questions," Mega answered after a moment.

"So then what happened?"

"The programme holes started to bleed in together- she started to project what she felt for her boyfriend… at me," Mega confessed, "She was convinced that she loved me… but then for a while she started to do better. She ran into him… in person… for about a week- she was normal. But then slowly… she started to fail again and as did her emotional stability…"

"Did you want it to fail?" Slade wondered.

"No. I didn't feel for her, or any other female for that matter. She started to see things that weren't there. She saw me with Java one night. She was convinced Java and I were lovers. My ability to fix her was long gone. There had been too much damage- she was wasted space," Mega told him looking down at the ground as he played with his hands some.

"So what then she freaked out?"

"More or less- tried to kill us- and then when her senses- came back… or what was left of them- it turned into some distraught animal. If I was caring- at all… I would have stopped what I was doing and tried to help. Tried to anything but what I did… which was just sit there and watch her… watched her pick up a knife and lunged it into herself in my control room. All I cared about was that she didn't get her blood all over my computers," Mega said with a bitter laugh.

Slade then turned to him with shock and horror, "So then why do you now…"

"It's not the guilt of doing it. It's the nightmares of her taunting me- accusing me of being with Java- of me rejecting her feelings and tossing her out. My guilt isn't that she died… or that she cared… or that I didn't… my guilt is that I let it get as far as I did- I could have killed her and spared myself my nightmares but I didn't. My guilt is that I didn't put her out of her misery when I had the chance… and that people think she might be alive but only I know the truth… everyone else in that room is dead," Mega finished.

Slade studied him, "Whose looking for her?"

"Her other half"

"What did you tell him?"

"I told him to go to the docks. There would be a guy named Fish with some information about some of his missing tribe members. And then after that- I told him to visit the ocean".

"Why the ocean?"

"That's where we dumped her body"

Slade automatically looked down and covered his hand with his mouth- how could… how could Josh do that? To any living being, how could he be so cold?
"Did you tell him about her body being there?"

"No. I figured I'd let him find it for himself"

"Why?"

"Why?"

"Why didn't you… why didn't have the decency to tell that poor man whoever he is what happened to his girl?"

"Because Slade- how do you tell someone that they're whole life is gone? Trust me- from experience… it's a hard business to be in… and I don't always have the strength to be that honest with someone. I had to tell myself that- telling other people is hard enough. Now if that's everything- I'd like to be alone right now," Mega said, "It's been more than five minutes," he added.

"Right… sorry," Slade managed after a minute forcing himself to get up despite his shaky legs, "I'll be back in the morning"

"I won't be looking forward it"

"I know- goodbye Josh"

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The end