Doing Unbalanced Kissing- (From Yu Yu Hakusho- Poltergiest Report) I don't own Ryo, Dee, their rainbow-coloured station, or my favourite song from YYH. The lyrics are translated, by the way.
I've known him for so long, known what he wanted from me, known that he might hurt me in the end. But I can't stop myself- can't stop myself from falling for him, can't stop myself for wanting more and more of him. He's like a narcotic... you have him once, and you'll never want to let go. I wonder if it's only me who feels this way.
In the shattered mirror,
Your reflection,
Crying, crying.
I can't stop myself when I look at you, you and your eyes. The eyes that made me fall in love. How they change. Some days, your dark brown eyes are so cloudy, always in a distant place, keeping yourself vacant-looking. But what's really special about you, is when you're completely lucid, thinking with all your mind. When your glasses are tossed aside so that they don't get in your way. Crisp black eyes as sharp as the best blade. That's what made me fall in love.
Are you calling someone,
The back of love that has gone,
No matter how many times,
Because I knock on your window.
I can't help but give him mixed signals. I've never hit him, like I did to the Commissioner. Perhaps I've never pushed him away. Perhaps I like kissing him. But I'm scared to admit my love for a man. Scared that I'll be rejected, as I once rejected. Not anymore, though. Now I know that it's a lie bisexual and gay people choose who they love. We don't get to choose. I can't help I've fallen head-over-heels for a man. But who wouldn't? He's... perfect.
Like a thread being cut,
Your back is pushed by the acceleration of the night,
Only you,
You who I embrace tightly.
I want you so much. Every moment I'm around you I just want to run my fingers through your sandy locks. Why must you keep me running to get you? I run my fastest, yet you always seem to be a step ahead. If only you would slow down for me. Slow down so I could walk with you, every step of the way. So maybe we could look at where we're going as we continue. Or maybe we could walk down a place not many people like us get to see- the isle. Dreaming is what keeps me sane, around you.
Exchanging unbalanced kisses,
Comes closer to love,
Both your tears and the sorrowful lies,
Sleep in my heart.
Every time I see him I get this feeling, and it's always becoming wilder. It's a passion, a love, a lust I cannot hide- a feeling that gnaws at me, always keeping my tongue ready to say what I'm really thinking. But how could I possibly do something like that? How would I even begin? And all the while your kisses are becoming more emotion-filled, sweeter, harder, coming with stronger advances; which make me silently damn Bikky when he comes in. What is in my face says and what my heart longs for are so very different, my love.
A merry-go-round taking you towards yesterday,
Wanting to stop wanting to stop,
I am searching for the key.
What is it you really feel for me? These endless games and charades and lies, they're all driving me insane. All I want is you, is it that hard to see? You're the only person in the world I want, and I've told you a million times that exact statement! During the nights I stay at your place, with the excuse "so my commute is shorter", I have to restrain myself all night. So I don't move over to you, so I don't cuddle into you like in my dreams. Only in my sweetest dreams.
Holding up the sky that seems to crumble,
I bear it alone,
Only by your side I want to be.
Sometimes, I can see what he feels in his green eyes. Those haunting eyes, that are fathomless, never ending; scary and comforting at the same time. They make me do crazy things, invite him over when the only spare bed is mine, wear no shirt to bed. I can see it, sometimes, when he looks at me. His look of lust, as I call it. When he feels nothing but lust toward me. Sometimes... sometimes I want to go with it. So-called 'logic' always stops me. But does logic really make so much sense after all?
Written with unbalanced kisses,
A scenario of us two,
Even call it love,
Though everything about you hurts.
With all the suffering you've had, suffering which you barely tell me about, it's no surprise that you keep your heart well and truly guarded. The life we've led has been rough. But maybe, we'll figure it all out together. Why I don't want to leave you, why you're so hot-cold towards me. Maybe, we'll find happiness together, as our souls feed off each other to sustain us both. Because I need you more than you know. Even if I'm only a temporary crush for you. But dammit, I can tell you like me. I can.
Only by your side I want to be,
Exchanging unbalanced kisses,
And coming closer to love.
Maybe passiveness is a trait in my family. You'd never know it looking at Aunt Elena, but perhaps my feelings are just quiet. Like a small child, petulant; yet loyal. He'll be quiet and enjoy the attention, but try to leave him, and he'll run back screaming. Won't let him leave; and won't let me let him leave. It's funny, how I'm older, and comparing my emotions to a rotten child's. I suppose that's what I get for falling in love with him. Getting brought down from my pedestal, with a good whipping afterwards. It hurts to be in love, but somehow, in the end, it's worth it. I know it is.
Sleep in my heart,
Till your heart calls out to me,
Till The day I can meet you in my arms.