These Days

Chapter 5- Watertown

Yawn. Stretch. Back to sleep.

Damn buzzer.

Stretch more. More sleep.

"Drake if you don't get out of bed this instant you'll have another thing coming to you!"

Moms… Snore.

"Drake Bailey Parker! Get up! It's time for school!"

Screw school. School sucks. I dunt need no edukation.

"I'm going to go get your father!"

Snore.

"Drake."

Shit. The Dad.

"OUT!"

Drake shot up in bed and ran straight into the bathroom shivering from the cold, unfair shower that he just was given. He didn't care for his dad at this particular moment. He ruined his good dream. He hurriedly dried himself off and got dressed. Thumping down the stairs, he ran out the door without breakfast or a goodbye. Realizing he forgot his books, he paused in the driveway. Oh well. He didn't do the homework anyway.

Watertown High was as typical as any other school. Cliques, mean teachers, gossip, lockers lining the crowded hallways… the whole shebang. Drake hated it with a passion. He couldn't wait to graduate next year. He wanted to go to NYU and major in Art and possibly play football. His parents and teachers kept bugging him about doing better and getting good grades, otherwise he wouldn't make it into any college. That's what worried Drake the most. He wasn't particularly smart and he wasn't patient either. Homework was too dull to waste his precious paint time with.

Everyone at school thought of Drake Parker as the star quarterback Picasso. He excelled in sports and had many trophies. He also was a magnificent artist, winning the New York State Art Show. Drake had sold many of his paintings, even one going for two-thousand dollars. He was popular, especially with the ladies. He had a girlfriend of three years, but many girls still threw themselves at him. People, even his parents, expected them to get married.

However, Drake didn't want to inform everyone that he had no such intentions. He had no real feelings toward the girl and never had. He harbored feelings toward someone else. Speaking of…

"Yo! How's it hanging, dude?" A teenage ragamuffin boy clad in a Culture Club t-shirt and ripped jeans was splayed on the floor. Kyle Bixler was the heartthrob in Watertown High with his rugged good-looks and compassionate personality mixed in with humor.

Drake plopped himself down next to his best friend. "Pretty low. Oh god. Gag me with a spoon." He spotted Sean McCoy, the wannabe popular, down the hallway. "What a preppie," he mumbled.

Kyle laughed and replied, "He's such a yuppie."

"Solid." Drake eyed the boy as he approached. He hoped Sean wouldn't stop. But as he neared, he began to slow down. He stopped in front of the two friends.

"Well, if it isn't the goober of all goobs."

"Kiss my grits, McCoy," Drake hissed.

"I'll deck you into next week, Parker!" Sean jeered.

"Take a chill pill, Barney, and don't have a cow."

Sean was about to lunge forward and show what he was all about, but spotted a teacher coming. "Dweeb." He and his clique ran off to first period.

"I hate him."

"Who doesn't?"

"Missy."

Kyle sat up and looked at his friend. "Your girlfriend?"

"Know anyone else by the name of Missy?"

"…Um, nope." Kyle shifted. He whispered, "I thought you told me you were going to break up with her?"

"I am. I just need to find the right time, ya know?"

"Yeah…"

The bell rang out loud to signal for first period. Drake didn't feel like getting up and trudging off to American history. By the looks of it, Kyle didn't want to head to French. With a look and a smile, they trotted off in the wrong direction from their classes and out the door.

"I never meant to be so bad to you…One thing I said that I would never do. A look from you and I would fall from grace and it would wipe the smile right from my face…Do you remember when we used to dance and those incidents arose from circumstance. One thing led to another, we were young, and we would scream together songs unsung."

Drake rolled his eyes. "You have a heinous singing voice, Ky."

"It was the heat of the moment…Telling me what my heart meant…The heat of the moment showed in your eyes…"

He stuffed his fingers in his ears as Kyle ended Asia's song 'Heat of the Moment.' Drake felt embarrassed for him. People were staring and laughing at him in the restaurant.

"Asia is dope!"

Drake just nodded, praying his buddy wouldn't go off into another song. The entire day had been like this. First in the park, then on the walk, and now in the restaurant. Kyle sang song after song about love or loneliness. Drake seriously considered going back to class and enduring all the stale lectures.

Kyle cleared his throat, and Drake was certain he would begin bellowing another melody. But no sound came out. But unexpectedly, a hand crawled up his thigh and rested there. Drake stiffened. This was how things were going to go after that night alone. He had thought that was it, that Kyle only wanted one night. But now, Drake wasn't so sure.

"You know," Kyle said, "that all those songs remind me of someone."

"Wh…who?"

"You," he whispered right into his friend's ear. Drake's spine tingled.

Then they were at Kyle's empty house kissing, touching, groping; any contact was good. Drake didn't exactly know what he was doing, but knew it was nice. Something he never had for three years with Missy. He was hard, very hard. And it frightened him. He wasn't queer. He just wanted…Kyle.

Drake shoved his friend away gently. Both were breathing heavy and staring at each other with apprehension. He didn't want this to go any further. They made a pact to never ever speak of it again. And they never did for a long time.

He returned home late that night, having been strolling around Watertown for several hours. It wasn't until he remembered that his oldest brother and sister-in-law were supposed to be coming over for dinner did he run like the wind to get home.

Sure enough, he was late and was yelled at. Dinner was all ready and everyone waited until Drake had showed up. Aaron looked as if he could strangle the kid. Drake hated his brother. He really, truly did. Sibling rivalry was very true for them. He had always thought Aaron was the 'favorite.' They were ten years apart, and the length in between did it in for Drake tenfold.

He sloppily ate dinner, not paying any attention to his family. His mind was still reeling about the afternoon. What had it meant? Was the good feeling he felt gay? He didn't want to think about that. And he wouldn't break up with Missy. He liked her…sort of. But they could--

"DRAKE!"

He slurped up the rest of his noodle and stared at his mom. "What?"

"Pay attention, would you?"

"I am."

"Then why did I have to say your name ten times?"

"I'm deaf in my right ear."

"Don't be sarcastic with me, young man."

"I'm not. That concert I went to really blew out by eardrums."

"Then no more concerts for you!"

Drake stuffed a piece of bread in his mouth and said, "Good luck stopping me."

"Don't talk while you're chewing!"

Drake rolled his eyes and continued plowing through his plate of food. His brother began talking about future, and jobs, and blah blah blah. Only when 'We have news' spilled from his lips did Drake's ears perk up. Maybe Aaron found out he had cancer or some mental illness. Cool.

"We're pregnant."

Shirley and David smiled and got up to hug their eldest child. They smooched and embraced and made Drake want to barf. He sat there, still chewing up his food with no interest in the news. He felt sorry for the future kid. Poor thing would be raised by Asshole and Bitch.

"Don't you have something to say, Drake?" his mom asked with raised eyebrows.

"Um…" Drake pretended to think. "Nope. Not really."

Everyone gave him an evil look. His mother especially gave a nasty glare.

"What do I care?" Drake asked.

"She or he is going to be your niece or nephew."

"Ah, great." He stabbed his meat with his fork. He didn't care. He didn't want an Asshole Junior running around and bugging the hell out of him. Shirley walked over to her other son and made him stand up. She led him out of the dining room and into the living room.

"What has gotten into you lately?" She shrieked.

"I dunno." Drake shrugged.

"Your brother, whom you haven't seen in six years, is in there! First you show up late showing great disrespect. Then you plow through your dinner without a word or an ear, ignoring everyone. Now your brother tells us great news and you can't seem to think of anything to say!"

"That's a pretty good recap, Mom."

Shirley held her son's chin hard. "You will go in there and congratulate him!"

"No."

"Drake."

"I won't go in there, because I don't want to congratulate him! He doesn't deserve it!"

"He's going to give you a niece or nephew!"

"I don't give a fuck."

Shirley slapped him hard. Drake was confused. He had never been hit by her before. He felt tears rising and rushed off to his room. He slammed his door behind him. Keeping the tears at bay, he fumbled with his one photo album and shifted though it. Every picture that had his mother or brother in it he took out. When he was sure he got them all he brought them forward and began to draw all over their faces. To him, it was his best work.

The lock one his door was taken off a while back after he decided to back mouth his dad about his girlfriend and him having sex. It was in the instant he saw his brother walk in that he wished he had a lock.

"Leave me alone," Drake said.

Aaron didn't say anything, but looked around his brother's room. It was plastered with posters of bands and artwork of all kinds. There was a pile of old paintings in one corner and book on book of drawings in another. He sauntered to the paintings and held one up. Drake growled.

"Mmm. Not bad," Aaron commented. He turned to the teen. "But really Drake. Do you really think you can have a career in art?"

"What is that supposed to mean!" Drake roared.

Aaron pointed at the drawings on the wall. "Well, look. They aren't masterpieces. They aren't worth much. If you became an artist, you would be living on the streets."

His words stung Drake's heart. Never had anyone been so cruel to him. He put down Drake's only one dream. And even worse, his criticism meant that Drake wasn't as good as he had thought. Maybe he had no talent whatsoever. The tears began to rise again. "I hate you."

Aaron stared at him. "I know. But I don't really care. I hate you too."

"You're an asshole."

"And you're a whiny little bitch who never gets his way."

"You think you're King Shit, when all you really are is a---"

"A what, Dwakey?"

Drake dove at the twenty-six year old and started a battle he knew he could never win. Within thirty seconds, he was pinned to the floor and immobilized. Aaron laughed as his brother struggled. "You wanna know a secret, dear brother of mine?"

Drake spit in Aaron's face. "NO!"

"Well, I'm gonna tell you anyway." Aaron grinned evilly, paying no attention to the saliva running down his face. "You were never wanted."

Drake's eyes narrowed. "What are you talking about?"

"Think about it Drake. How old is Britney?"

"Twenty-three."

"And that's seven years older than you."

"So!"

"Mom and Dad only wanted four children."

Drake's heart pounded. He didn't want to listen to this. "Shut up!"

"You're number five."

"SHUT UP!"

"You were a mistake."

"SHUT THE HELL UP!"

"Mom and Dad were about to get a divorce. Dad was cheating on her. It was awful. They still hate each other…Hmmm. But why are they still enduring hell? Oh… because of their mistake of a son."

"I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THIS!"

"You have to. They wanted to get an abortion. But that was a no-no back then. So they decided to have you and put you up for adoption. No such luck. No one wanted you and they were too kind to let you go into foster care. They took you in and they decided not to get a divorce for your sake. But Dad still continued his sexcapades. Mom wanted to get rid of him, but didn't want you to not have a daddy. It's all your fault she's living in hell."

Tears were streaming down Drake's cheeks. When his brother let him go, he ran all the way to the backyard and out to the lake behind their house. He undid the rope to the homemade raft and jumped on. He took the paddle and went way out into the middle of the lake. There, he let himself go. He didn't want to have ever known what his brother had just told him.

How many times had someone told him art won't get him anywhere? His parents never said it out front, but always encouraged a different route. More pushed it than anything. They thought he could be a businessman or something like that. Drake would rather slit his throat. He wanted to do something he'd enjoy. But what, besides art?

"Thanks for nothing, bro. Crush my dreams."

Drake was always the little baby, and feared he always would be. Aaron was the king. Everyone just fit in respectively. How many times had Drake been heartbroken because of his oldest brother? Too many to count. He still remembered quite vividly the first time.

He was either three or four at the time. His brother was in middle school and was put in charge of watching his toddler of a brother. Aaron had stuffed Drake in a closet and kept him there until his parents arrived back home. Aaron had told his other siblings that Drake had been bad and needed punished. So everyone ignored Drake's cries. When their parents came back, Drake ran to them wanting to be hugged. They pushed him away, telling him they needed to talk to Aaron. They clearly showed Aaron their love, hugging and kissing him, telling him they love him and they were so proud of him. They had been at Parent/Teacher conferences and the teachers only had praise. Drake still pleaded for affection. Instead, his parents got angry for him bugging them and sent him to bed early.

Drake had taken a liking to soccer. He joined the city's team eager to be like his second brother. Eric was a superstar in soccer as far as his little brother was concerned. It turned out it was a bit difficult with his parents' schedule. He missed several practices and was penalized for his absence. He didn't get to play in a single game because of all the missed practices. Eric had personally taken responsibility as coach and had taught him how to play and play well. There was only one game left in the season and Drake was determined to play in it. He had been at all practices and his coach said he was very talented and wanted him to play in the next game. It was all set. But his plans were ruined as Aaron made state in football. The last game in soccer was the same day and time as Aaron's game. They went to the football game.

Drums were awesome. Drake liked to beat on them like crazy. His aunt had given him a set and he couldn't wait to learn. Eric had played for two years in high school and began to teach his younger brother the basics. Drake had soon learned of a special band that would be auditioning for new young instrumentalists. The group traveled all around the United States. Drake badly wanted to get in. He practiced with his brother and ended up a very good player by May. For being only eight, his brother had told him he was better than himself. Drake laughed when Eric told him that. But he didn't laugh when he found out the day of the audition was the day Aaron would be graduating from high school.

He was in the youth choir when he was nine. He practiced hard to be one of the best in the bunch of singers. The teacher even commented to him many times on how he had a great voice. Drake had never been prouder. He was excited for his first concert. He wanted to show his parents what he could do. The time he had waited for came. Up on stage, he sang his heart out with everyone else, knowing somewhere in the darkness in front sat his family. He waited patiently afterward for his parents to come and shower him in affection. He waited an hour before someone came up to him and asked him where his parents were. He told the lady that they were coming. Two hours passed, but he still waited. He ended up walking home. And when he got home, no one was there. It wasn't until the next morning when he found out Aaron had been accepted into Yale. They were out celebrating, and forgot Drake had a concert. Drake never returned to the youth choir.

The big one-zero. Drake was going into the double-digits. He was going to be ten. They day he woke up he had high hopes. When he awoke his sister, Britney, was the only one there. Everyone else was in college. She informed him that Mom and Dad had to visit Aaron in the hospital. He had gotten in a car accident. Inside, Drake wished it was fatal. That would be a great present. Britney told him that their parents would return later tonight for a good celebration. Drake wouldn't hold his breath. And a good thing too. They didn't show up until two days later.

And who said first born wasn't the most spoiled? Drake remembered all the showers of gifts. None for him. He got the hand me downs. Who got all the expensive items? Not him certainly. Drake was certain he only owned a maximum of fifty dollars on one item. Who got a brand spanking new car? Aaron for his sixteenth birthday. Who got a solid gold Rolex worth hundreds of dollars? Only Aaron for his graduation present. Who got love? Aaron. Who got nothing? Ding Ding Ding. Drake Bailey Parker.

Who was not wanted? Drake Bailey Parker.