Chapter 127 - Intentions
(OPOV)
Optimus glanced at his medical officer and the Major as they sat, obviously having a spark to spark... heart. Kae smiled at him from the jeep she was servicing, her holoform delicately closing the hood before it offlined, her body rising and coming to greet him.
"Optimus, there you are," Ratchet stated a second later. "Would you mind sticking around so that we can have a proper spark to spark with Jolt?"
"Of course, you wish to speak to him about Lena?" Optimus rumbled calmly. Ratchet nodded. "I shall get them, then."
He pecked a gentle kiss to his Kae's forehead, smiling as she kissed his jaw and released him. The walk to Communications Central was a quick one. For him, at any rate.
"Jolt, Lieutenant Davies, a word?" he rumbled calmly, walking in a few steps from the door. Jolt looked at him curiously and nodded, rising and offering a hand to Lena, she settled into it easily, obviously struggling to keep a neutral expression on her face.
Optimus turned silently and led the way back to the med bay, catching the sound of Jolt's spark resonations of worried curiosity, and the occasional whiff of Lena's pheromones denoting guilt and anxiety.
He strode into the Med-bay and sat down beside his Kae.
"You've been letting them sweat, that was unkind, my Optimus," she chided him with a low tone of amusement.
"I simply asked for a word," Optimus rumbled with a snort. "It is not my responsibility should they sweat over a guilty conscience."
Optimus turned back to look at the technician and his favourite human.
"At ease, you two," Mikaela soothed them gently. "This is not a reprimand, we simply want a word."
Jolt relaxed immediately, Lena hesitantly following his example a moment later.
"Alright, let's get started," Ratchet stated calmly. "Let me put forth, to begin with, that I am glad for you Jolt. That you have found someone with whom you are comfortable enough to share a symbiotic relationship with, however you choose to define it, is a great ease to my processors."
Optimus observed Lena relax a bit more, her eyes sparkling with curiosity as she looked at Jolt.
"Lena," Mikaela stated gently, looking at the woman. "I know you well enough to know that you haven't made any assumptions, however we are uncertain as to what you have received for explanations."
"Have you declared your intentions properly as yet?" Optimus added, looking at Jolt. "Simply because we are on another planet does not mean we should behave uncivilly."
"You're right!" Jolt said immediately, a look of contrite surprise flashing through his optics. "I apologize that I did not think of that myself, Prime."
Optimus smiled at him and nodded.
"Declare intentions?" Lena asked with a mildly worried look.
"You're thinking along the lines of proposals, Lena," Mikaela said with a small smile. "You're right, in one sense, however it is considered proper among auto-bots to declare your intentions toward another bot."
"Or human," Optimus added in counterpart, nodding to her.
"Primus knows it would have saved Optimus and I a great deal of time and stress if I had remembered the traditions-" Kae started.
"Or if I had not been so dense about setting your human discomforts as a group into stone," Optimus snorted. His beautiful Kae laughed softly.
"But long story short, Lena," she smiled at the woman. "Even if it is simple friendship, friends with benefits, an intent for courtship, it is proper to declare it from the outset to prevent misunderstandings later on."
"Which you may do publicly, as is our tradition, or privately, whichever you prefer." Optimus rumbled calmly.
"May..." Lena started, she trailed off uncomfortably.
"Go ahead, Lena, this is staying in the med-bay," Will stated with a small smile from his spot beside Ratchet.
"You..." Lena started, looking at Will with a small frown.
"Ratchet has requested that I remain open-minded," Will chuckled.
"Because you're not already," Lena snorted before bringing herself up short. "I'm sorry, sir, that was-"
"Don't worry about it," Will snorted. "Permission to speak freely until we part."
"Thank you, Sir," Lena grinned. "Right, so may I ask why you're bringing this up?"
"Well, Ratchet wants me to pull you aside to discuss your relationship with Jolt, which is what we're doing." Will grinned, leaning back somewhat.
"So you're not-" Jolt started and stopped himself.
"Permission to speak freely," Optimus rumbled to him calmly.
"Thank you sir," Jolt nodded. "So you're not going to order me to stop fraternizing?"
"I am hurt that you would think me so petty," Optimus rumbled quietly.
"Don't be," Ratchet snorted. "Jolt served under Magda, remember?"
"Jackass," Optimus rumbled with a snort, rolling his optics. "True, my apologies, Jolt."
"Translation?" Lena asked timidly. Optimus smiled at her.
"Think Optimus Prime," Jolt snorted. "Except with Director Galloway's personality."
"Oh god do I have to?" Lena groaned, wrinkling her nose.
"No, but we've gotten off topic," Ratchet stated firmly. "Personally I asked for this meeting to request of you, Lena, that if you are still comfortable to continue your relationship with Jolt."
Lena looked around herself curiously.
"I'm missing something, are you uncomfortable speaking about it?" she murmured, looking at Jolt.
"A little, but you deserve to know," Jolt murmured. "I..." he trailed off uncomfortably and looked pleadingly at Optimus, Ratchet and Kae. "You guys are better at the explaining bit."
"Lena," Optimus rumbled calmly. "Our kind are sustained by contact with others. Not simply for the sake of sharing energon, but emotionally. Our sparks are bared beneath our chambers, surrounded by metals rather than the warmth of flesh. Our consciousness and forms entirely dependant upon our sparks."
"So when we become emotionally unstable, it is entirely possible for us to die of depression. Our sparks simply cease to burn." Ratchet stated quietly.
"I wasn't lying," Jolt murmured in a subdued tone. "Every time you touch my spark, I get a great deal more out if it than you do. I haven't... I..."
"Jolt?" Lena asked gently. He looked up at her. "You can tell me."
"When we were captured, on Cybertron," Jolt stated quietly, "I was held prisoner for a vorn, maybe a bit more, I stopped counting the orns after a while. They let me live, because I allowed them to take from me-"
Lena gasped, a look of horror flashing into her eyes.
"They raped you," she whispered in a strangled voice.
"Slagged, most of the time," Jolt whispered. "The only reason they bothered to put me back together was that I'm a fairly proficient technician. I was capable of repeated..." he trailed off in a choked tone. "I'll understand if you wish to sever contact with me." Jolt murmured, looking down and away in shame.
"Prime," Lena stated in an icy tone. "I request weapons technology for the sole use of hunting those bastards down and blasting the shit out of them for hurting my Jolt."
Jolt's face flashed up to stare at her in shock. She turned to look at him, the ice melting from her eyes.
"I'm not going to give you pity," she whispered. "I know that pity. Above all else, it's one of the worst feelings. Worse than the hurt, the shame, the feeling of having been used. The pity is almost harder to bear." the woman reached out and lightly touched Jolt's face. "It's hard to even talk about, isn't it?"
"It is, even with our society being so open about interfacing," Jolt nodded. "I can only imagine how hard it has to be on you humans with such repression about talking."
"I am honoured that you put your trust in me," Lena whispered.
"As am I," Jolt murmured, looking at the femme with respect in his optics.
"So what's the answer on that?" Lena added, turning to look at Optimus with the icy fire returning to her eyes. "Can I borrow a gun or three to blast the shit out of those bastards or what?"
"Arcee kinda already took care of that," Jolt snorted softly.
"Good, remind me to thank her," Lena nodded firmly, she smiled at Jolt somewhat. "And I would like to declare my intent to be your friend, Jolt, friends with benefits if you wish, with the potential of becoming more. I mean, only if you want." she added shyly.
"Lena Davies, I would like to declare my intent to be your friend, friends with benefits if you will accept me, and I would definitely enjoy becoming more, at some point." Jolt smiled at her. "Was there anything else, sirs? Or may we return to duty?"
"Well, I would like to request that the two of you remain discreet while on duty," Will called out, blushing a bit.
"Absolutely, Sir," Lena nodded firmly.
"That's a given for me," Jolt nodded with a grin at Optimus.
"Thank you," Optimus rumbled, nodding to the both of them. "You may return to your duties as you wish."
"Thank you sir," Jolt grinned, rising with Lena on his shoulder.
"And here you had me feeling guilty that you were always putting up with my human foibles," Lena laughed softly.
"That was not my intent," Jolt snorted. "You have no idea how nice it is to have a friend who doesn't mind just laying down for a cuddle."
"Oh amen, Jolt, amen," Lena sighed, cuddling into his shoulder. "Which speaking of, thank you for the cuddle yesterday, I desperately needed it."
"Anytime," Jolt smiled. They reached the doors to med-bay. "Game faces?"
"'Till we reach your quarters," Lena smirked, straightening on his shoulder. Optimus watched in amusement as they left the med-bay.
"That went well," Will grinned.
"Indeed, thank you, Will," Ratchet nodded at the Major. The man fell silent.
"Is it true?" he asked in a subdued tone, looking at them sadly.
"Is what true?" Optimus rumbled gently.
"Can you guys really die of depression?" Will asked sadly.
"In order to live, we must have the desire to remain alive," Optimus murmured softly, sadly, "If we do not desire to remain alive, we simply cease to function, we remain alive for up to a vorn after the will leaves us, our body maintaining our spark as best it can. But if we stop, then eventually we simply run out of energon and cease to be." he slowed, remembering his days alone without Elita, before he'd even met Kae. Duty alone keeping him moving. As though sensing his thoughts, his Kae scooted closer to him, squirming into the circle of his arm and holding him gently. He instantly felt better, returning to the present.
"Optimus," Mikaela whispered, a soft tone of comfort. Her spark beside his, the most potent reason to continue to live. To protect her, to love her.
"I have a true reason to live again," Optimus rumbled softly, letting his content show through in his voice. He reached up to touch his Kae's cheek. "And now, so does Jolt. There may come a time when they outgrow their need for each other."
"But the now is truly what matters, because it is now." Kae murmured gently. "By your leave, love, I think I'm going to head to my recharge."
"I will be there soon," Optimus rumbled gently, watching his Kae as she rose and walked from the Med-bay.
(WPOV)
Will sat on the berth that Ratchet had deposited him on, deep in troubled contemplation. It hadn't even occurred to him just how fragile the bots could be, when you got right down to it. They seemed so strong at times, living, sentient weapons on the battlefield. He recognized Optimus' gentle spirit, he had almost right off the bat. But the thought of a bot dying, simply because they didn't have the will to live... that was intense. And painful.
"Think of it as extremes," Ratchet murmured as they watched Optimus freezing in memories, he sounded so lost, alone. Will saw, once again and brand new, just how much Kae meant to the bot as she roused him with a gentle shift in position and a single word. His name spoken with an absolute of love and compassion.
"How so?" Will asked in a subdued tone.
"We live as absolutes, when we love, we love deeply. If we wish to live, we live. If we cannot stand to live, we die. When we fight, we fight with all that we are, all that we have. When we believe, it's bloody hard to get him to change his mind." the medi-bot finished with a snort. Will stared at him in shock as Kae quietly rose and strode from the med-bay.
"You of all people should know that," Optimus rumbled with a snort of amusement. "Your superiors have spent how much time trying to convince me to relent and upgrade your weapons technology?"
"I was thinking more along the lines of the two years I spent trying to convince you to call Mikaela. On the cell-phone that she made sure you had the number for." Ratchet snorted.
"I did call her," Optimus rumbled with a snort.
"You what!?" Ratchet demanded incredulously. Will couldn't help but laugh at the bot.
"Did you never see the phone records?" he demanded with a snort.
"Practically every time I became downtrodden I called her." Optimus rumbled softly.
"Then why the Pit did it take you two so damnably long?" Ratchet demanded.
"She belonged to another," Optimus shrugged with immense dignity, looking at the door his Kae had walked through. Bumblebee chose that moment to wander in.
"She wouldn't have if you'd declared your intentions," the scout snorted. He brought a holo online in front of his Prime, freezing it.
"Are you gonna say explain, or can I just unfreeze it?" Bumblebee asked innocently, grinning at his Prime.
Optimus rolled his optics at his scout.
"Cough it up bot!" Ratchet snorted with a broad grin.
Kae answered her cellphone.
"Hello?" she asked with a smile that hadn't yet reached her eyes.
"Mikaela," Optimus' voice rumbled softly.
"Optimus," she smiled, a real smile now. "How are you doing?"
There was silence on the other end of the phone.
"That good huh?" she asked sympathetically. "Politics being a pain in the processors again?"
"How you always know that is beyond me," Optimus rumbled with a low sigh.
"Yours is an incredibly expressive voice," she murmured consolingly, "I'm just sitting with Bumblebee, do you want to hash it out?"
"That, was possibly the best sentence I had ever heard," Optimus rumbled quietly, watching the holo with a smile.
"I do not know how to deal with..." Optimus' recorded voice began.
"The humans?" Mikaela asked with amusement, stroking Bee's hood as she held the phone to her ear. "It might help just to remember that we aren't Auto-bots, we aren't as advanced or intelligent as you are, and frankly, that's going to terrify most of us."
"How do I deal with it?" Optimus asked almost desperately, "How do I get rid of the fear your people have of me? My primary goal is to protect your planet!"
"Have you said as much to anyone else? Besides Ratchet or Ironhide?" she asked gently. "I would suggest that you find one of the humans..." she paused for a microsecond, a look of deep thought crossing her features, "is Lennox still there?"
"He is," Optimus rumbled irritably.
"He's the one continually asking about the weapons information?" Mikaela asked gently. "Has it occurred that he may not be the one asking personally? He has several people above him in the line of duty. It's entirely possible that he's mentioned to his superiors that they're making his life just as difficult as they are yours by making him ask."
There was silence again.
"They really, really were," Will snorted.
"I apologize that it had taken Kae suggesting it for it to occur," Optimus rumbled quietly, looking at the major.
"Well you called her, that's something," Will grinned at him.
Optimus smiled at him.
"In your culture, how do I repair it?" Optimus rumbled softly. "How do I ask?"
"Well, humans tend to pull each other aside for truly meaningful dialogue," Mikaela stated calmly. "I would suggest pulling Lennox aside and speaking to him one-on-one, remember to give him the freedom to speak his mind to you, as of now, I would imagine that he is feeling constrained in his dialogue with you."
"Holy shit, she's psychic!" Will muttered, leaning forward intently.
"And then she blames me for the same," Ratchet snorted.
"How?" Optimus rumbled intently.
"Observe him, When he appears to be irritable, offer to take him for a drive," Mikaela shrugged. "Find somewhere somewhat secluded and be blunt. Say that you wish to pick his brain, no alien technology involved, nothing drilling into his skull. Offer an ear, tell him straight up that he is free to yell and rant in confidence. Give him the outlet that I have no doubt that you both want. Let him speak his mind, and if he is a trustworthy man, he will no doubt return the favour. Let him see the wry sense of humour that you have, dearspark," she smiled. "even if it is to say nothing more than that you are big and strong enough to take him yelling at you."
Optimus snorted in amusement.
"That's why you chose that day!" Will stated with a broad grin, turning to look at Optimus. "She told you to pick the day that I needed to get my frustrations out. She's good!"
"She is," Optimus rumbled proudly, gently, looking toward the door again where his Kae had disappeared.
"Thank you, Mikaela," Optimus rumbled softly on the recording.
"Anytime, Optimus," Mikaela smiled, her voice was gentle, cheerful, but the look on her face was wan, a look of longing in her eyes. "I'll talk to you later?"
"Absolutely," Optimus rumbled with a smile before the sounds of the line going dead played.
"Kaaeee!" Bumblebee whined softly.
"Beeeee!" Mikaela turned to him curiously.
"We should totally... go visit him," Bumblebee played the soundbytes cheerfully.
Mikaela sighed then, a soft, sad sound.
"If he wanted me to visit, he'd invite me," she murmured. "Admit it Bee, he's surrounded by annoying humans, the last thing he needs is another one. Besides, I'm supposed to be playing 'normal human femme' remember?"
Bumblebee sighed sadly, nodding.
"School," Sam groaned the next moment, yawning as he walked into the garage. "Hey Angel, how was work?" he smiled at her and caught her waist in his hands, leaning down somewhat to press a kiss to her lips.
"It was alright," Mikaela stated quietly, shrugging. "Work, at least it's halfway's quiet."
Will couldn't help but shake his head as Mikaela visibly sagged behind Sam, forcing herself straight and struggling with a smile the next moment.
"You should'a told us, Bee," Will stated quietly as the holo offlined.
"She wouldn't let me," Bumblebee chirped sadly. "She just said, 'we have our orders, little brother, ours is not to question why, ours is but to do or die."
"Excuse me?" Optimus rumbled, getting to his feet suddenly.
"Where you going?" Will asked curiously.
"I cannot repair the past," Optimus rumbled quietly, turning to look at him. "But I can do my level best to make her present and future count for more."
"Good bot," Will nodded, smiling at him. "I'm going to head out to see my wife."
"I shall see you in a few days then," Optimus nodded with a smile. He turned and left.
"About time." Bumblebee snorted.
"Heh?" Ratchet looked over at him.
"Well, Ironhide sent me in to get Will, but getting Will means getting rid of Optimus. Getting rid of Optimus means sending him off to my sister." Bee grinned. "It makes it a lot less rude than coming in and saying 'Oh by the way, Ironhide says that there's gonna be a throw-down if he doesn't get to see his favourite hatchling soon."
Will burst out laughing at the scout.
"Well I've been told," he grinned at the medic. "Don't work too hard or Kae's gonna kick your ass-plates.
"Is it ironic that Optimus just sent that over the primary?" Ratchet snorted, he held up a finger, idly gesturing to his helm.
Will howled with laughter and jumped over to the grinning scout's offered hands.
"Area clear?" he asked seriously.
"Unknown sir, permission to infiltrate?" Bumblebee replied just as seriously.
"We go in together," Will nodded grimly before they both burst out laughing, Bee carrying him into the entrance bay.
Will surveyed a grumpy looking Ironhide.
"Can we go now!?" the bot demanded. "How is it that I'm more excited to see your wife and child than you are?"
"Humans are sometimes a bit more subtle," Will blurted out, he thought about it for a moment. "Ratchet's right, you guys live in extremes. Comparatively, I just sort of coast along." he grinned up at the bot.
Ironhide snorted and shrugged into his truck form.
"Boring, that's what you're turning into Will. Boring, you want that?" Ironhide rumbled tauntingly, opening his door. Will burst out laughing at the bot.
(OPOV)
Optimus observed the sad longing on his Kae's face, the look in her eyes captured before she knew that he would gladly stand by her side and love her.
"Excuse me?" he rumbled, quickly getting to his feet.
"Where you going?" Will asked curiously.
"I cannot repair the past," Optimus rumbled quietly, turning to look at the man. "But I can do my level best to make her present and future count for more."
"Good bot," Will nodded, smiling at him. "I'm going to head out to see my wife."
"I shall see you in a few days then," Optimus nodded with a smile. He turned and strode out of the med-bay and toward his quarters.
Not toward his quarters, toward the beautiful, softly humming spark that was bonded to his own. That surrounded him with cherishing love every second of every day. That provided him with patience. He smiled and reminded Ratchet to take it easy, or his mate would kick the medic's aft. He could hear laughter from the med-bay again. A sound he cherished.
Optimus strode through the doors and laid optics on what he knew to be one of the most beautiful sights.
His Kae had shrugged out of her armour, as was her habit and laying on her side of the berth. She was already recharging, curled up with her hand resting where his spark should be. And in this moment, there was nothing in this universe that could ever stop him from putting his spark precisely where it should be.
Optimus shrugged out of his armour and levitated it carefully to the floor, climbing carefully onto their berth and lightly taking her hand.
Gently, he laid her hand where she wanted it. Over his spark.
Her optics onlined dimly to look up at him.
He felt a new surge of cherishing love surround him as she looked at him.
Optimus wound himself around his Kae, the way they always woke up together regardless of how they fell into their recharges. A position he knew that she cherished as much as he.
Kae buried herself into him, and Optimus smiled, knowing he was taking advantage of his sweet femme, and letting her know that he knew.
No words were necessary, they knew each other's sparks absolutely.
It was the well. He was certain of it.
"If this were the well," Mikaela murmured in amusement, as she always did. "We would not need bodies."
Optimus chuckled and leaned down, contentedly kissing his sweet Kae before they dropped into their recharge cycles. Completely entwined.