Okay, just so you know. Love Hina and all that belongs to Mr. Akamatsu. My characters, however, are mine. I hold exclusive © to my own name as used in this context. Now I don't have to worry, so long as no one actually reads two of my chapters, thinks I own everything, and then doesn't read Chap 3 and this disclaimer.
This chapter is dedicated to Mr. Kouji Tamino, for writing Love Hina Next, which is nothing like this story, Love Hina: Next. (Which you'll notice is renamed now to Love Hina: The Final Days) He wrote a damn good story, and I'm still trying to figure out what would be the quickest way to turn Ami into a real girl for myself.
My next chapter will be dedicated to the individual who writes the first review. Come on, you know you want to.
Without further ado, I bring you the events after Keitaro gets his ass kicked by a stairwell. :D
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"Damn you, Joseph!" Yelled Keitaro as his bike slowly tumbled down the stairs, bouncing Keitaro along with it. The bike, being heavily armored, knew it wouldn't take any damage. Keitaro, being completely unarmored, also knew he wouldn't take any damage, but it still hurt, damn it!
Haruka watched the events unfold below her with a mixture of pity and amusement. Then, she decided to get serious. She knew that Keitaro couldn't afford to take so much damage or make so much noise during the next few hours, so she raised her handgun and levied off the shot that would hit Urashima in the head.
---Scene Change---
"Do you think Keitaro will be alright?" Shinobu worried. She had been pacing the Hinata Sou's entrance for the last half an hour, occasionally shooting out remarks to the other girls.
"Nah, Keitaro is a tough one to harm." Kitsune said with a smile. "Still, the initial impact, hitting the tree, and then rolling into heavy traffic… I must say, his luck was pretty bad. But don't worry, Shinobu, he'll be fine!"
Haruka watched the girls in her detached way. Naru was sitting on the couch while Motoko hovered behind her, sword ever ready to swipe at any nearby males. Kitsune was, for unknown reasons, pacing the halls with Shinobu, who was slowly wearing a hole into the ground.
"But it was a cement roller!" Shinobu suddenly cried out.
"And Keitaro is fine, don't worry. He is the only guy I know who can take the burn of reentering the atmosphere. And Motoko, isn't Keitaro the only person who has ever survived your sword attacks?"
Motoko coughed, slightly embarrassed. "Well, I wasn't using all my strength…"
Kitsune smirked. "There, see, Keitaro will be fine. He'll be a little flatter, but fine. I was kidding, Shinobu!"
Shinobu ran from the room at the idea of her sempai being flat. Kitsune sighed, and finally turned back to Naru.
"So, Naru, why aren't you studying or anything like that?"
"I'm entitled to take a break every now and then!" Naru retorted.
"Ah, waiting for the phone call from the hospital too, are you?" Kitsune teased. Naru flushed.
"As if I could care what happened to that pervert!"
Haruka sighed, and turned away from the phone right as it began to ring. She whirled and picked it up.
"Hinata Sou, this is Urashima Haruka!"
"Nya-ha! I've hacked into the inn's phone network! Now I'll get unlimited phone calls!"
"Su, you get free phone calls anyway, when you call from your bedroom! Now stop wasting our time! We need to wait for a call from Keitaro's hospital!"
The other side disconnected and then promptly rang again.
"Urashima Haruka, speaking on behalf of the Hinata Inn."
All the other girls, including Kaolla and Shinobu, crowded the phone, trying to listen in on Haruka's conversation.
"So that'll be 1000 yen, and he should be okay in a week? Okay, thank you. You too." Haruka set down the phone. Naru, however, now turned to Haruka.
"1000 yen? It is that cheap? What, does the pervert have a repeat discount rate going for him?"
"I don't really know. Ask that guy." Haruka gestured into the corner, where Joseph was standing, looking mildly peeved at being called into the plot again.
"I don't know how much a yen is worth, so stop looking at me." He then turned around the corner, where a loud feminine shriek was heard. Joseph quickly rounded the corner again.
"Heh, the cutie was changing in the front room again." Joe said, grinning widely. Kanako followed behind him, in the process of pulling on a shirt, the most evil glare she could make plastered to his face.
"I thought the house was guy-free, and secondly, you aren't Keitaro, so stop hitting on me!" Kanako yelled.
Joe smirked. "Heh. Right. Sorry 'bout that, I didn't know. Heh. See you later." He walked away, muttering something about writing in a shower scene. The other girls sweatdropped.
Kanako sighed. "So, what's the occasion? Why's everyone in here?"
---Scene Change---
The girls had moved from the living room to the hot springs, following Joe's cue. Haruka was in the process of explaining to Kanako. Kanako was now glaring fully at Naru.
"May I suggest tying Naru down and letting a train run over her?" Kanako inquired coldly.
"Nah, Keitaro'd probably show up and save her, and then we'd be right back where we started with another love heptagon." Kitsune said, sighing. Naru swatted at Kitsune.
Shinobu sighed, leaning further back into the hot springs. The other girls could talk, but none of them would even visit the hospital to cheer him up.
Kaolla grinned at Shinobu. "Still thinking about Kei-honey, are we?" Shinobu nodded, still lost in her thoughts of daringly stealing the van and visiting Keitaro in the hospital. Then she realized what she had agreed to.
"N-no, of course not, just enjoying the hot springs!" Shinobu sank even lower into the springs, hoping to hide her blush. Kaolla, however, seemed more interested in something on the other side of the springs, and so swam away.
"Hiiiiya baby!" Kaolla screamed suddenly, making all the other girls jump and cover themselves. Then they realized that she was just talking on her cell phone, which raised an interesting question.
"Since when have we had cell phones?" Naru asked Haruka, pointing at Kaolla. Haruka shrugged, not really caring.
"I want a cell phone too!" Kitsune grumbled. Naru coughed her assention, Shinobu meeped hers, and even Motoko seemed to like the idea. Haruka sighed and stood up.
"I'll see about getting some later. Maybe Su'll make them for us. Now come on, the springs are going to overheat you if you stay in any longer."
The girls slowly filed out of the springs, grabbing towels and wrapping up before stepping back inside.
Meanwhile…
A loud bang was heard, and then a purple portal opened above the springs. From inside, a male voice boomed ominously.
"I finally get to make a stylish entrance!" Joseph cheered as he jumped out of the portal and dove into the springs. "Hey, where are all the girls?" Joe swam around, looking for someone even remotely feminine.
"Damn it. I was close, but I must have arrived too late. Wait a minute, I'm the freaking author!" Joseph snapped his fingers, and a luscious figure appeared in front of him.
"Heya, cutie!" Joe said, smiling his most winning smile at Kanako.
The scream filled the entire complex, and Joe snapped his fingers, disappearing as all the girls flooded back into the hot springs, leaving only a wide smile, similar to a Cheshire cat.
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I know what you are thinking, more self insertion, some fan service, and I've got a crush on Kanako. What does this have to do with the story? And what happened to Urashima-kun, with the whole bullet-in-the-head deal? Well, here is my ten pence, and I'll update again.