Title: Random Bits 3 – Chapter 3

Setting: Yuna and her Guardians are on their way to Guadosalam for a celebration.

Mi'hen Highroad - New Road-South - Our heroes are chasing the chocobo around in the ruins. Rikku and Wakka have blocked several escape routes with the debris left behind. Everyone else is in the back of the wagon.

Auron, Lulu, and Kimahri hung on grimly to the wildly careening wagon as Tidus, who was standing behind the driver's seat, instructed Old Man #3 to pull up beside the chocobo. (Old folks and wildly careening vehicles are quite common. Its the ones that are careening at speeds over 30 mph that are hard to come by.) Tidus had another plan.

"Yuna, cast Haste on our chocobo!" He commanded, falling backwards with an excited whoop as the wagon sped forward. Auron knew their chances of ever catching the chocobo were doomed when Tidus perched unsteadily on the edge of the wagon, humming his own adventure music, then launched himself at the bird.

The graying chocobo squawked in alarm as the gangly human missile attached itself to her tail with a triumphant "Ha!", which quickly turned into a disbelieving "Ha#$!" as the Ronso leaped from the wagon and joined the chase on all fours.

"Cats." Aruon muttered in disdain. Bounding along behind the chocobo with long jolting steps, Tidus must have looked pretty darn heroic to Yuna. She was the only female in the wagon cheering him on. To the observer he looked like a frog running on two legs and about as ridiculous. It was a shame that he couldn't see himself. Auron had often wondered as to why Tidus' stupidity seemed to attract girls instead of repel them. He had once heard Yuna say that it was 'endearing'.

With the escape routes blocked by Wakka and Rikku, and Tidus with the chocobo in hand, the old men stopped the wagon. Old Man #1 set a sphere on a nearby rock, then hobbled off to join his companions in a game of Sphere Break. This left everyone else to get comfortable and watch the chaos.

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For reasons Auron could not begin to fathom, Yuna (the most respected and honored Summoner) had summoned Ifrit. They probably had to do with love. Most stupid actions were a direct result of love. In fact, Stupidity and Love go hand in hand, but no one ever writes songs about 'The Stupidity of Love' or 'Loving Stupidity'. He was certain that in some cultures the word for love was the same as the one for stupidity.

The Unsent, Legendary Guardian watched Ifrit bound after the Ronso, (who was having to divide his attention between chasing and fleeing) with the enthusiasm instinctive to canids. He watched Tidus, clutching the base of the chocobo's tail, hollering for assistance as Kimahri batted at him. Auron made a mental note to slap Jecht the next time he visited the Farplane. Some people should never be allowed to reproduce, or in Jecht's case, spawn.

Lulu looked at Auron and cast Thunder. Apparently the humor of the scene had run thin. The bolt struck the ground directly in front of the chocobo, silencing the aforesaid Sin spawn's cries for help. The boy even charitably decided to assist in halting the chocobo's forward motion, by digging his heels into the ground.

Up until now, the chocobo had had a pretty wretched day. It had been awakened before dawn, forced to pull a heavy wagon with three crabby old geezers arguing in it, jostled in traffic, and scared closer to death by rumors of a chocobo eater sighting. Now she was being chased around some ruins by an Aeon and a Ronso with a gibbering human hanging on to her tail. To top it all off, some insane Black Mage was trying to fry her with Thunder.

The crack of Thunder threw the chocobo into a self-induced Berserk. The bird back flipped with a squawk and trampled over Kimahri, stopping long enough to get in a few good kicks and pecks, before charging Ifrit with a scream of rage. Faced with the ferocity of the small bird, puffed up in full battle display, Ifrit fled. The Berserk chocobo gave chase 'kwehing' shrilly in rage, with Tidus pleading at the top of his lungs, "Someone do something! Something that works!"

"If only he had the sense to let go," Wakka grumbled, pulling his blitzball from its nest in his armpit and kicking it at the chocobo.

Kimahri, who was cautiously uncurling from his protective fetal position, nearly had his ears burned off as the ball skimmed the top of his head and slammed into the back of the chocobo's skull. The impact of the ball froze the poor chocobo in mid step, pitched her forward, snapped her tail feathers, and sent Tidus arcing through the air almost vertically. There wasn't even a proper 'kweh', just a pathetic 'kw' as the bird slid to a halt on its keel, a series of 'zzzzz's' rising from its head.

Always ready to impress Tidus pulled off a magnificent Jecht Shot at the zenith of the arch and an Olympic level landing, fist clutched tightly on the chocobo's tail feathers. The young blitzball star earned wild applause from his companions, a grunt from Auron, and an amused nod from Lulu. She knew skill and a lot of luck when she saw it. Okay, mostly luck.

Give the three old geezers something to talk about, please review! (You don't want them following you home do you?) :P