The next night Tommy drove to Montreal, bought a dozen red roses, and planned on sitting front row and center to surprise Jude.

She sat in front of the mirror in her dressing room. She had already locked her door and she was now staring at the blade sitting on the bureau and the bottle of pills she held in her hand. Shay had told her she needed to stop, and she promised she would just to get him to leave her alone. But, he didn't know what it was like. He didn't know how it felt to have no one. To have literally no family. A few people were knocking on the door and calling her name, but she ignored them. She reached for her cell phone and turned it off. She didn't need that interrupting her too. She blocked everything from her mind. She wasn't thinking of the broken family she had left, or the thousands of people in the crowd screaming her name. She wasn't even thinking about Tommy.

She emptied the contents of the bottle into her hand and quickly swallowed them. She then took the razor and made a few tiny cuts on her left arm. Deep crimson blood slid down her wrist and dripped onto the bright white carpeting. She had become immune to the pain it caused. She felt nothing as the cool, silver blade plunged through her skin. She kept cutting until she hit a vein in her wrist. She felt dizzy and fell to the floor.

Tommy was standing amidst the screaming fans. He quickly looked at his watch. Jude should have been on stage already.

"Jude let me in!" Kwest screamed as he banged on the door. When he recieved no answer he kicked down the door. "Oh my god, Jude!"

Tommy's patience was wearing thin when Darius came out and grabbed the microphone. "Due to complications, Jude Harrison will not be performing tonight. We are very sorry for the inconveniance."

Tommy quickly made his way through the crowd and walked backstage. He saw people crowded around the dressing room.

"Tommy,somethings wrong," Kwest said as he made his way out of the room.

"What? Where's Jude?" Tommy asked.

"She's in there," Kwest motioned towards the dressing room.

Tommy plowed his way through the crowd and was horrified at what he saw. Jude, his Jude was lying on the floor covered in blood. He rushed over to her, knelt down beside her and grabbed her hand. He saw where the majority of blood had come from. Large cuts were etched in her arm. He picked her up and held her in his arms. She felt so light. She had lost weight since he had left. He knew this was his fault. He should have listened to Kwest's wranings.

"Tommy," Kwest put his hand on his shoulder. "You need to let the paramedics take her to the hospital."

"Yeah," Tommy simple said as he gently laid her onto the backboard. He was in a daze. The one girl he had true feelings for could die because of his actions.

"Tommy let's go to the hospital. I'll drive," Kwest said.

Tommy and Kwest walked towards the Viper. Kwest was worried he would protest him driving the car, but he simply tossed Kwest the keys and opened the passenger door.

"Tommy she'll be alright," Kwest said as they started driving.

"I should have listend to you Kwest but instead I had to be selfish. She could die because of me."

"She won't die," Kwest said quietly.

"Did you see how much blood there was? What about the empty prescription bottle? It was issued yesterday! Who knows how much she took."

"I know. I tried to stop her Tommy but she had the door locked and dead bolted. By the time I got the door open she was already passed out."

"She had her cell phone off," Tommy randomly stated.

"What?"

"I tried calling her before the show and nobody answered. I figured she was just getting ready."

"Tommy you cna't blame yourself," Kwest said as he parked the car at Haven General Hospital.

"I will always blame myself," Tommy said as he got out of the car and started walking toward the sliding doors.

He was directed to the ICU. He saw Jude laying on a white bed in a secluded room. She looked like an angel. Her red hair splayed out on the pillow. Thoughts ran through his head, "Why would she do this? How could she do this?" It made no sense. Jude was always so happy, so vibrant.

"Are you a family member?" a nurse asked Tommy.

"I'm," he thought for a moment. I'm her fiance."

"You can go sit with her if you'd like."

"Thank you," he said. "How is she?"

"I'll be quite frank with you Mr..."

"Quincy."

"Mr Quincy, she's not doing so well. We've pumped her stomach so most of the prescription drugs are out of her system, but we're not sure what kind of damage they've already done. Plus, she's lost a lot of blood."

Tommy's eyes widened and glistened with the beginning of tears. "Thank you," he said as he walked into Jude's room.

He made his way to a chair and pulled it up beside the bed. He reached for her hand and held it tightly, as if he never wanted to let go.

"She loves you ya know," came Sadie Harrison's voice. She was crying freely but her voice sounded eerily strong and calm.

"Hi Sadie," he said looking up.

"Kwest called me. I was in Montreal and I was going to go see her after the concert."

"Oh."

"She's really done a number on herself hasn't she Mr. Fiance?" Sadie said as she sat in a chair.

"I...I didn't know what else to say Sadie. I needed to see her."

"Don't worry about it Tommy. You've only been gone for four months. Why did you come back?" Sadie asked, her voice thick with sarcasm. "Did you want to see how she's self destructed while on tour or did you want to see how much weight she's lost because of those damn pills!"

"Calm down Sadie. You know I'd never hurt Jude on purpose."

"No! Ya know Tommy, every day she called home and asked if I'd heard from Tommy. Every day I had to tell her no and hear her choke up and end the call."

"I didn't know this would happen Saide. I left for her!"

"Look where it got her Tommy! You really helped her!"

"I screwed up Sadie! I know that and I weill never forgive myself," Tommy said with tears in his eyes. "I would never hurt Jude on purpose. It wasn't supposed to happen like this. She was supposed to meet someone her own age on tour, not try to kill herself."

"She never wanted someone else Tommy. Since she won the contest, it's always been you. I'm going to get a cup of coffee or something. Do you want anything?"

"No thanks," Tommy said.