Heaven and Hell

Chapter II My Promise

Well, I seemed to have attracted some attention. That's good, very good indeed. Anyways, I know that a lot of you guys are wondering what she meant by saying, "You are not forgiven, Ikari-san," but that little tidbit will be locked away in my head for a few more chapters. At least until the embarrassing encounter, or maybe even further. But don't worry, you will understand soon enough. Also, I plan to OOC some of the characters. Shinji for sure will have some differences, but there are some of his aspects that I will keep for sure.

Disclaimer: I don't own Evangelion, simple as that, so leave me the heck alone all of you annoying bastards.

'What did she mean by that?' Shinji wondered to himself as he laid Rei's unconscious form on the gurney as he watched her wheeled away by the same doctor and two nurses. His mind was swimming in questions. First and foremost was how she addressed him. She called him Ikari-san. He could understand Ikari-kun, since they haven't seen each other for 10 years, but Ikari-san, it was as if she no longer at least acknowledged him as the childhood friend of hers he was. It was all very confusing for him. He cared for her, but then again, she was one of the many things he ended up burying when he suppressed everything he saw at Gehrin. It was only now, the memories started to flow back to him.

Suddenly his thoughts were cut off, "Shinji-kun, c'mon, we need to head up, and prep you." Shinji looked back at the other side of the bridge, to see Misato standing there, waiting for him. He nodded, and immediately ran up to her, where she took him to an elevator. As they walked towards the elevator, Shinji continued his thoughts. He had noticed that there was something in her eyes that really gave him the creeps. They say that the eyes are the windows to the soul. And yet, her eyes showed absolute darkness. A world where light has not touched for years, a world filled with darkness, a world where emotions did not exist, a world where such things as love, happiness, joy, valued by people all over the world, simply did not exist. Shinji now vividly remembered seeing such things in her eyes once. But now, it seemed that someone had delved into her soul, and had stripped her of everything that made her human. Even her voice, that once held human emotions, was now the sound of a machine, speaking in a monotonous tone, save for the one thing she said, which he could've sworn, was out of anger.

"Shinji-kun," Misato called out, placing a hand on his shoulder, "Are you alright? You seemed troubled?"

Shinji shook his head, "It's alright Misato-san, I was just thinking, that's all. By the way, how long has Rei been working here?"

"Uh," Misato thought for a moment before she finally answered, "I believe for the last 3-4 years. Otherwise, I don't know anything else about her. Why you ask?"

He let out a discontented sigh and looked down, "She's not the Rei-chan I remember. That's all." He suddenly brought up his right hand to his shoulder, and squeezed it.

"If you want, I can arrange for you two to meet and sort things out," she offered.

Shinji however shook his head, "No, Misato-san. I can't talk to her. I don't think she would listen to me. It's best I should just leave her alone."

"Shinji-kun, you shouldn't run away from things."

"No, it's better that I leave it as it is. I've already done enough damage. I don't need to make the problem worse than it already is."

"Shinji-kun," Misato breathed out as she watched him walk up to the plug. Already she could see that he was a troubled kid, but how troubled she was yet to see. Shinji approached a technician wearing an orange coverall, who gave him a pair of white clips, before he was relieved by Ritsuko.

"Alright Shinji-kun," she began, "those clips are A-10 Nerve Connectors. They will allow you to pilot the Evangelion. Evangelion operates primarily on thought, with the control yolks augmenting some of the restricted movements. You wear them on the top of your head, and remember something extremely important. Do not, I cannot stress it enough, do not remove the connectors while you are inside. Doing so would damage your synapses for who knows how long." Shinji nodded affirmatively, and tentatively placed the clips in his hair, and waited for further instructions.

"Piloting it is like moving your own body," she explained. "As I've stated before, these machines operate on thought, so therefore if you concentrate hard enough on a particular movement, it will move as you desire it. Now when you enter the Entry Plug," motioning towards a cylindrical tube behind her, "you will notice two control yolks. Those as I have explained, are meant to augment some of the movements which you cannot personally do while sitting. Do you understand?"

"Hai, wakateru," Shinji quietly replied. 'He wants me to pilot this! This is insane! Even if I just have to use my thoughts, I don't know how to pilot. I haven't even seen this thing for 10 years, and he expects me to pilot it the day I come back! I guess it was to be expected. It's not like there was going to be a happy reunion or anything. However, I was hoping Kaoru, Rei and I would have such.'

"Akagi-san," said Shinji, "do you happen to know a Kaoru Ayanami?"

Ritsuko blinked a few times and thought for a moment before she shook her head, "I'm not familiar with the name. What's his relation to the First Child?"

"Her brother," he dejectedly replied with a sigh, as he advanced towards the plug.

"I didn't know she had a brother," was the general discussion as he settled in. he found it peculiar that on one knew who Kaoru was. He also wondered why he wasn't here. The Kaoru he knew was fiercely loyal to Rei, and wouldn't dare leave her alone with anyone. He wondered why he'd leave. But if he knew Kaoru, despite they were 4 years old when he himself left, Kaoru must've had a good reason to do such a thing.

Suddenly the hatch above him closed shut, hissing as the locks came into place, engulfing him in darkness, not that he minded. He more or less grew up in darkness, so he wasn't all that surprised the entry plug was dark. Everything around him revolved in darkness. The clothes on his back, his hair colour, even his home with his uncle was shrouded in darkness. He didn't hate the dark, but he didn't like it either. It was just there in his life, consuming his very being. He didn't mind. He didn't mind being consumed, nor did he mind death. Had he the guts, he probably would've killed himself long time ago. But here he was, in an entry plug, engulfed in darkness that would probably become his tomb.

The plug suddenly jolted as he felt the plug begin an included descent. Towards what, he guessed to be the Evangelion. As the plug descended, he suddenly scowled as the word of his father telling him to go home rang in his ears. He felt his blood started to boil as he realised how cold his father's words were, and how callous he was with Shinji's feelings. He used Rei as a bargaining tool for crying out loud. He used a highly injured 14 year old girl, who was Shinji's childhood friend, as a means to force him to pilot. If he didn't see Rei injured, he probably would've gone home. He continued to seethe in anger over his father's words and actions, as his hands balled up into tight fists. Not only did he use Rei as bargaining chip to sway Shinji to pilot the Eva, he suddenly realised how his father had considered himself useless until today. He couldn't believe that his father, who had left him with his uncle for 10 years, suddenly recalls him, just to pilot a machine that destroyed his family, and took away his mother.

"My father never needed me…But now he's restored this thing that needs me?" he angrily growled. "What a joke! Well I'm up for the challenge. I'm not afraid to die! I'll show him who's weak!" He suddenly grunted when he felt the plug came in contact with something, but instantly felt sick as the tube twisted into position. Into what part of the Eva, he would later find out.

He started to hear some sort of techno babble about first contact and such as the plug lit up, revealing its copper interior. Regaining his cool, Shinji stared ahead into the concaved end of the tube, and waited patiently. Suddenly the plug began to flood with some orange liquid, which was filling the plug up at a rapid rate. He began to panic as it quickly reached up to his waist.

"Wha-wh-what's going on!" he managed out before he held his breath as he became immersed in the strange liquid.

"Don't be alarmed," Ritsuko assured through a radio. "One your lungs are saturated in LCL, you'll be able to undergo direct oxygen exchange." Inside, he was unable to hold his breath any longer involuntary exhaled, and inhaled the orange liquid, instantly gagged as he brought his hands up to his nose.

"Oh kami-sama," he choked out, "I didn't expect that!"

"Shinji-kun, doshitte?" Ritsuko asked.

"Good lord, it reeks of blood," he sputtered as he breathed in the liquid through his mouth only to gag again, "God, it tastes like it too! How the hell can I pilot like this?"

"Remember, this is a thought using machine," Ritsuko explained. "The LCL merely acts as a medium for you when you operate your Eva. Its secondary function is to act as a cushion for you should things, get out of hand, and also to provide life support in the event of a shut down." Ritsuko then went to issuing orders. Shinji sat there as he contemplated his situation. It was one hell of a mess he was in, and he was so unsure where this would lead him to. He'd go with the flow for now, but his mind already started to formulate a plan for when it was time to leave. He considered it one of his greatest skills. To know when it was time to pack up and leave. It usually just happened before the going got tough. He would slink away and disappear, only to surface elsewhere new, where he knew no one, and thus allowing him to keep his heart closed. He didn't want to be close to anyone, so he always left before any real bonds were formed, good or bad. He didn't want to be close, so he usually avoided contact, and only made necessary connections with people. During all those times he's slipped in and out, he's never considered what he did to people with his disappearances, not that he cared.

They entry plug suddenly lit up in an array of brilliant lights and colours, soon replacing the dull orange and metal interior of the tube, with his surroundings. He looked around to see the shoulders and arms of his Evangelion restrained, technicians everywhere were scrambling to get everything ready, even the bridge he just stood upon, right in front of his face, so to speak. Shinji simply shrugged as he leaned back into his seat and stared ahead. He was surprised that the taste, feel, and smell of the viscous LCL was no longer noticeable, but again, he didn't care. He just wanted to get this over with and then leave.

As the bridge before his, or rather the Evangelion's face began to back away, along with the arm restraints, Shinji's mind fell to a certain blue haired girl. She had truly grown, and was more beautiful than ever. She always had this angelic radiance, with her ethereal white skin, her azure hair, even her piercing crimson eyes, along with the various dresses she wore, she was almost an angel, except she lacked wings. And now, she had begun to blossom. Her bust had developed well, into what he guessed to be a b-cup, along with her hips, which added to all the subtle curves of her body. Her hair, continued to accent her facial features, as he skin in conjunction, as it really brought out her eyes. For a moment he thought that the girl he laid upon the gurney was the beautiful happy carefree girl he remembered, when her words of non-forgiveness rang through his head.

So drawn into his thoughts of Rei that he had not noticed that he was ready to go until he felt the Evangelion shudder as it locked onto something. He looked ahead to see in front of him, the holding area where his Evangelion was docked, with several puddles of the red coolant the Eva was just soaked in. He looked around to see that he was on a platform above the area his Evangelion was stored. Above him, a series of panels opened as it lead up to the surface. Where along the surface was his best guess. Seeing that there was nothing left to do but swallow it and go, he took a few deep breathes as he prepared for the up coming battle.

'This is it,' he thought, 'It's time to do or die.'

"Ready to go," he declared.

"HASHIN!"

Shinji grunted as the construct shuddered violently. He was instantly pressed into the seat from the g-forces of the elevator was resting upon. Shinji felt like a human pancake as the Evangelion continued its ascent to the surface. His insides felt like they were being crushed, the blood being constricted from reaching his organs. He couldn't breath, couldn't open his eyes, he felt like he was going to die before he would even fight the angel, let alone seeing it or even reaching the surface. His ascent immediately halted as the inertia carried him up, as his thighs bolted up against his harness, keeping him from going up any further. He swore that would leave a mark on his legs later.

He looked a head to see the black being from earlier that afternoon standing there, about a block away, almost seemingly sizing itself up as it prepared for battle. Already Shinji could feel his courage and resolve ebb away as the moment of truth drew near.

As the battle preparations drew to a close, an observer serves the field. Rei laid in her bed, at her request, had a link-up of the battle. She had not only requested a link-up of the battle, but also with the entry plug. She knew she could connect if she wanted or needed to, or needed to, but was satisfied with what she had. She had regained consciousness during the initial preparations, and had attained her link-up in the final stages. Why she wanted the link-up, somewhat confused her, but she disregarded it as nothing.

Just prior to the launch, Shinji had a stern, confidant face, showing that he was ready to go. However when his Eva had surfaced, his confidence immediately faltered, his facing showing various signs of fear and apprehension. 'Why does Ikari-san falter now? Is it possible that coming face to face with such a creature as the angel weakened his resolve? If so, he is doom to failure. She tried to make herself either look away or call a nurse to shut off the screen, yet found herself inexplicably drawn to the battle at hand.

'Why am I drawn to the battle at hand? I can clearly see Ikari-san has no hope of victory, and yet I find myself unable to ignore the battle. It is as if a part of me wishes to watch him and see him return. How is this possible? I had buried that part of me long ago, and had isolated it during the past 4 years. Now they seem to have resurfaced, but to what purpose? I still have not forgotten nor forgiven for his actions those many years ago. He may have the answers. I shall talk to him, only after his punishment.'

Shinji felt a final jolt as the last restraints were released and his Eva slouched over, as it waited for an input of commands. Shinji was at a loss. He didn't know what to do, as he had never sat in an entry plug until today. He suddenly cringed when the angel began its advance towards him and the Eva.

He closed his eyes shut as he started to mutter, "I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna-"

Protect her…

"Huh?" Shinji's head instantly bobbed up and started to look around, trying to find the source of the voice. "Who said that?"

You promised…

"Promise?" Shinji thought for a moment of who he could've promised to and to what he promised when it hit him. "Kaoru-kun?"

Flashback

"Shinji-kun," said a grey haired boy.

"Hai, Kaoru-kun?" replied a brown haired boy, eyeing him curiously.

"Promise you protect Rei?"

The boy thought for a moment before he answered confidently, "I promise." He then stuck out his pinkie finger, which the grey haired boy took with his own, and the two shook on it.

End Flashback

"That's right," Shinji murmured in realization. "I promised him and myself I'd protect her." He then grabbed the controls, and yelled, "AND THAT'S WHAT I'M GOING TO DO!" Without even asking for instructions, he pushed his control yolks forward, his mind visualised charging forward.

As Rei watched Unit 01 lurch forward into an aggressive charge, he mind was processing what she barely managed to hear, 'Kaoru nii-san said he had someone who had promised to protect me before he left. Is Ikari-kun the one? Is he the protector he promised me? How can he be the one, after what he did? Another question I shall ask forthcoming his punishment.'

Shinji let out a battle cry as his Eva lurched forward into a headlong charge. He didn't know how he did it, but quickly discovered it was almost like moving his body. It was truly overwhelming. He could feel the ground under his very feet despite his sitting position, the wind in his ace as he charged although he himself wasn't moving, the shoulder finds on his shoulders, and oddly enough a restraint of some sort on his mouth. However little of this mattered as his mind was focused solely on destroying the thing that could possible hurt Rei, who he'd promised to protect.

The two massive beings collided in a furious charge as Unit 01 rammed its shoulder into its two faces, sending it reeling back from the impact. For a moment, Shinji wondered where his ideas of how to fight it came in, but left it for another time as he continued his attack. He charged forward again, preparing to jump into the air when the angel brought up its hand and rammed a lance-like object from its hand, into his abdomen. Shinji let out a painful yell, and gripped his abdomen. His mind was in a haze. He could barely hear anything around him, as his mind was now divided to destroying the angel, and the throbbing on the left side of his abdomen.

He managed to hear someone mention something about a Prog-Knife in his shoulders before whatever was driving him before kicked in again. He brought his right hand up to the shoulder fine as the casing opened, revealing a knife hiding within. He immediately withdrew the blade from its sheath as it hummed to life. He felt the lance rescinding from his abdomen, but reacted by reaching out and held onto the lance and rode with it as he slammed his knife into the shoulder of the creature.

It showed no vocal signs of pain, but the way the body shuddered was enough to tell that it was in pain. He brought up his left leg and kicked hard against the red core of the creature. As he kicked, the blade shifted, and ended up cutting a large gash on the arm of the creature, and also, the core suddenly formed a small crack. It careened through the city, landing in the outskirts of the city, sparing a lot of the buildings from any possible damage.

Rei watched the screen in surprise. She had expected Shinji attempts to pilot the Evangelion would end up making a fool of himself, but there he was, exceeding any and all expectations. He was thrashing about, using any means he had as he forced the angel out of the city. Rei looked to Shinji's plug displayed to his face contorted greatly in concentration. He was letting out mighty yells as he pounded the angel's body with his knife. With each stab, blue blood spouted, staining the mountain side and the Eva with its blood. On the Eva, the original colour configuration of purple, green and black was clouded by blue. Blood was dripping off every edge and end of the Eva.

'Ikari-kun, you have exceeded all possible expectations. How is this possible?'

"Must…protect…Rei-san…" Shinji grunted in between blows, unaware he was tapped. Rei's face bore the look of surprise as she heard this. She directed he attention back to the screen to the Eva Unit 01 continue to slam its knife into a random spot, withdrawing the blade and stab again. As the enormous mecha stabbed, splashing the blue blood everywhere, Rei could see that Shinji was intent on killing the angel utterly until it couldn't move any further.

She let out a roar as he continued to visually stab the angel as the Eva brought his visual impulse to life. He raised his arm back to strike again when its left arm took a chance and lanced out and grabbed the head. It immediately began a brutal assault as it fired the lance in its arm continuously through the palm of its hand, into the right of the Unit. Strike after strike, a crunching sound could be heard as the skull plating continued to absorb its punishment. Shinji grunted in pain, holding his right eye as the lance consistently stabbed, stabbed, and stabbed his right eye as he felt his skull cracking under the pressure. He yelled painfully as he felt the lance puncture through his eye and the back of his head as he careened back into the city.

The Eva slammed up against a building as its arms flailed. Its right arm slammed into a building, its hand still clutching the Prog-Knife while its left arm landed on top of a building. Its head slumped forward as red blue spurted from its eye and the back of its head. Shinji inside was fading in and out of consciousness. Tried as he might to stay awake, he found himself losing badly as he was slowly being engulfed by darkness. As he slipped into unconsciousness, an image of an injured Rei in a horribly tattered school uniform flashed.

He suddenly gasped as he bolted upright to find himself in a white room. To his right, a glass wall showed the Geo-Front with the morning sun shining brightly. The room was empty, spacious, devoid of any and any thing and life save for himself and his bed. He looked around as he contemplated his surroundings. He suddenly sighed as he leaned back into his bed. He stared into the ceiling for some time, trying to figure out what happened. However everything after remembering his promise was a blur. He even wondered if what happened to him was real. He recalled some sort of pain in his eye, but that was about it.

He suddenly gasped as he sat up and felt his right eye. As he touched it he felt a stinging sensation. It hurt quite a lot, but he felt no mark, no cuts, not even a scratch of some sort. He looked into the metal nightstand next to him to see that there was indeed no mark. He felt the back of his head for something, and found a painful stinging sensation, but that was it. No cuts, no bruises, he hoped, not even any bandages were wrapped around his head. Finally deciding that staying in bed would do him no god, he got out of bed and left his room.

As he roamed the halls, he ended up seeing Rei on a gurney up ahead of him. He approached her and gave her a weak smile. Rei started back at him for some time, her deadpanned expression never changed. Shinji felt highly uncomfortable, under the scrutiny of that particular stare of Rei. He was used to a soft, cheery expression she always wore. That alone prevented him from running away from the Rei before him. He was slightly surprised that he had this confident, considering that everything else in his life, he ran away from. But even as a child, Rei always seemed to give him strength. There was just something about her that he could never really deny.

"I'll keep my promise to Kaoru-kun, Rei-san," Shinji whispered confidently to Rei. "I don't know what I did to make you angry, but I hope we can be friends again."

"Perhaps," Rei replied. They stared at one another for some time, neither of them moving. They nurse that was assigned to push Rei's gurney saw the two, and waited patiently for them to finish.

"I expect an explanation concerning your departure when we next meet." She nodded towards the nurse who immediately began to push her down the hall.

Shinji started at the shrinking gurney, completely dumbfounded, as she eventually disappeared down the hall. 'My departure, but I never planned to leave unless…she didn't mean…she thought I abandoned her? But…how…why…does Kaoru-kin think the same as well? Or did he leave around the same time? This is so confusing. I need time to think."

"So you're awake, Shinji-kun." The boy turned his head back to see Misato stand behind him with her arms crossed and a broad smile on her face. Shinji merely nodded.

"I'm here to pick you up. C'mon, I'm taking you to your private quarters."

"Sure," he deadpanned as he looked ahead.

"You okay living alone?" she asked concernedly, "If you submit a petition, you could arrange to live with your father…"

"Nah – that's alright," he exhaustedly replied, "I'd rather keep my distance. I don't think he'd want me around anyways. Can we just get out of here? I don't like it here."

"Sure, c'mon, let's get you out of those hospital clothes and get some food," Misato offered, placing a hand on his shoulder. Shinji nodded and let her lead him out.

As they walked Shinji mentally said to himself, 'Maybe it won't be so bad.'

Well anyways, that concludes Chapter II. Please, give me your thoughts and your reviews, and I shall see you guys on the flip side, or rather in Chapter III.