Disclaimer: see chapter 1.

Folded Wings

By Random1377

Chapter 15

Rei stood at attention, waiting patiently for the Commander to debrief her on the battle with the angel. It was not exactly standard operating procedure to have one-on-one debriefings, of course, but Rei had long ago become accustomed to the fact that there really was no such thing as standard operating procedure within NERV.

Generally, she simply kept her head down and waited for someone to tell her what to do.

After some time, the Commander finished shuffling through the papers on his desk and directed his attention to Rei. Though his voice was quiet when he spoke, Rei did not miss a single word.

"What is your primary reason for living?"

"Complementation."

"And your secondary reason?"

"To destroy angels."

Gendou nodded. "And are there any other objectives set out for you, Rei?"

"No sir," Rei replied, "those are my obligations."

"…then why did you not open fire when the angel's back was exposed to you?"

Rei kept her eyes focused on his, despite a sudden urge to look away.

"I felt I could achieve my objective while sparing the pilot's life, sir."

Gendou steepled his fingers.

"Are you romantically involved with Pilot Suzuhara?"

"No sir, I am not."

"Mm."

They stared at each other for several moments.

"Are you aware of the current status of Unit 03 and its pilot, Rei?"

Rei shook her head. "No sir," she said quietly, "I have not been apprised."

Tilting his head a bit, Gendou murmured, "We cannot confirm that the angel has been destroyed. Its biomass is still merged with Unit 03, and while decapitating it seems to have stopped it, it could simply have entered a dormant state."

"Understood," Rei nodded. "Then, Unit 03 will be destroyed?"

Gendou's lips compressed. "That would seem ideal, wouldn't it?" he said coolly. "However… we cannot yet rule out the possibility that the 'infection' of the angel has spread to the pilot of Unit 03, or that the angel has been terminated. Therefore, what do you see as our options?"

Rei considered this for a moment.

Having the Commander ask her what she thought their options were was highly unusual, and Rei was confident that the man already had his course in mind. So that could only mean that this question was a test.

A test to gauge where her loyalties lay.

"The logical course would be to destroy both Unit 03 and its pilot, sir."

"And the downsides to this solution?"

Again, Rei took a moment to contemplate.

She knew her answer immediately, of course, but also knew that the Commander would not be pleased if she did not attack the problem from every angle.

"The downsides would be twofold, sir," she said quietly, "first, an Evangelion Unit is a very costly piece of hardware, and to simply discard it when there is the possibility of salvaging it would be ineffective, from a cost point of view, and foolhardy, from a tactical readiness point of view."

"…and the second reason this solution would be inconvenient?"

This is the true question, Rei thought astutely.

"It would be inhumane," she said, choosing her words carefully. "Pilot Suzuhara's friends and family members would be distraught if they learned that he was… disposed of without positive proof that his existence was hazardous, sir."

Silence fell once more.

Rei met the Commander's eyes head on, knowing that what had really been asked was, 'and would you be affected by his death?'

"Pilot Suzuhara and Evangelion Unit 03 will be quarantined until it can be ascertained which, if either, is suitable for salvage."

Nodding, Rei murmured, "Understood."

"As a pilot, you may visit him, if you like," the Commander said calmly, "provided you observe proper quarantine regulations."

Rei shook her head. "That will not be necessary," she said evenly, "as I have stated, there is nothing between us… though I would ask that a civilian, Hikari Horaki, be granted permission to visit him… if she chooses."

"Granted," Gendou said slowly, "provided either you or pilot Ikari are with her."

"Understood."

Bowing politely, Rei turned to leave.

"Rei."

"Yes sir?"

"I would like an update on your living arrangements this evening. Join me for dinner. The usual place."

"Yes sir."

Rei stepped out of the office, allowing the door to swing shut behind her with a soft click.

The hallway was quiet and deserted – two qualities Rei liked in a location – allowing the First to consider her situation as she slowly made her way towards the locker rooms. On the one hand, she had succeeded in saving the life of the person most important to Hikari… but on the other hand, the bruise on her cheek reminded her that she was not exactly in Hikari's good graces, and her actions had brought the Commander's attentions more fully to bear, making her feel as if she was walking on eggshells.

Why, then, did she save Suzuhara?

Simple, Rei told herself as she neared the locker room, friendship is not weighed on the strength of one action, or in my case, one mistake… if friendship is what we possess, then this setback shall be overcome by-

Her thoughts were interrupted as the door to the girl's locker room opened, and the very person she was thinking about stepped out.

Rei came up short. Hikari froze.

The two stared at each other in absolute silence for several seconds, Rei with her usual neutral expression, Hikari with eyes as wide as a deer caught in a pair of headlights.

Rei found her voice first.

"Hello, Hikari."

"Er… hi," Hikari stammered, belatedly letting the door swing shut.

"May I speak with you?" Rei said immediately. "I would… like to explain-"

"No," Hikari cut in sharply, "you don't have to explain – you made it pretty damn clear in my room, didn't you? You don't have to say anything."

Rei, so inexperienced in dealing with people, spoke the first words that came to her mind.

"My feelings haven't changed."

"Ha!" Hikari snorted, sidling to the side in an attempt to get around the blue-haired girl. "See? I told you, you don't have to say anything. I'm with Ikari, do you get it? I like b-"

"I understand," Rei interjected smoothly. "And I respect your feelings… though I would appreciate it if you did not bring Ikari into this matter."

Hikari's eyes flashed. "Are you saying I'm using him?" she demanded, "Because-"

"Yes."

Hikari's mouth kept moving, though no words came out.

Waiting only a moment, Rei said, "I can only apologize for my actions, Hikari, and say that… I would still like to be your friend, if nothing more. But it would mean a lot to me if you did not complicate Ikari's life any further."

For a full minute, Hikari simply stared at her, dumbfounded. Then, slowly, her cheeks flushed and she averted her eyes. "I… I don't think we can be friends, Rei," she said softly, "not… especially not now."

"Because of what I did?"

Flushing deeper, Hikari said, "Well, that and-"

Abruptly, the door to the girl's locker room banged open.

"…and that," Hikari whispered hollowly, flinching as Asuka stepped out of the locker room, her eyes focusing on Rei's as her hands clenched into tight fists.

"You… little… whore!"

( 0 0 0 )

Shinji let out a deep sigh as he closed his locker.

"What a day…"

Resting his head up against the cool metal of his locker, he thought back over what had happened. First the kiss… then the fight… and finally, Maya's breathless announcement that Misato and Ritsuko were both alive, if a bit injured.

But the biggest shock – also delivered by Maya – was the identity of Unit 03's pilot.

"No one told you?"

He could still hear the amazement in the tech's voice.

No, he thought, fighting the mingled hurt and confusion as he rose to his feet, no one. Kensuke even GUESSED that it was Touji – but I said no way. …guess that explains why he's been absent so much lately.

Pushing away from the locker, Shinji made his way towards the door. Mulling over the billions of possible reasons why he was left in the dark would only result in a worse headache than the one he already had from attacking the first hundred or so. All he wanted was to head home, collapse into bed, and listen to a little bit of Mozart.

He was to be a little delayed.

"…whore!"

Shinji blinked as this lone word reached his ears.

"That sounds like… Asuka."

The girl's locker room and the boy's locker room were located in the same area of NERV, allowing for easier plumbing. They shared two walls, heavily soundproofed, and much of the same waterline, making them almost intimately close… if not for the two foot walls that separated them. To reach one or the other, a person would have to leave the room they were in, walk several feet, and round a corner.

As Shinji did this, curious to see what had gotten the redhead so riled up, he found himself witness to a very confusing scene.

Hikari was tugging on Asuka's left hand, clearly trying to pull her back. Asuka was leaning forward, her face contorted in a rather frightening expression of borderline rage as her lips peeled back from her teeth. And Rei, looking as calm as ever, was being pushed up against the wall, with Asuka's right hand planted firmly in the middle of her chest and keeping her from escaping.

This image lasted for all of two seconds before everyone started talking at the same time.

"Asuka, let her g-"

"You tramp – why the hell are you living with Ka-"

"I am not a whore."

Shinji could tell in an instant what had happened.

Hikari he thought as the yelling continued, Hikari's the only one that could have told her… but why? I thought they were friends?

"Asuka," Hikari's voice rose above the din, "You're hurting her – let go!"

"How can you defend her?"

Rei rubbed her chest as Asuka abruptly whirled on the class rep.

"W-well, I," Hikari stammered, her eyes flashing from Rei to Asuka and back again.

"Spit it out, Horaki," Asuka demanded. "Say it!"

"Say what?"

"You know what!"

"No, I d-"

Asuka slammed her fist into the wall, getting right in Hikari's face.

"You're defending her because you liked what she did to you – you just don't have the nerve to admit it!"

Hikari paled.

Shinji paled too, but mostly because he was suddenly rather afraid that his presence would be noticed… and if Asuka saw him spying on a conversation that was clearly intimate and private, there would be no end to the hurting she would put on him.

Quickly, he took a step back.

Unfortunately, in the silence that had fallen, the scrape of his shoe on the concrete floor was as loud as a buzz saw.

Three sets of eyes focused on him. "Er… sorry," he blurted, taking another step back. "I was just… I, um…"

This, he decided, would be a great time for an adult to come by and ask what all the yelling was about. That's what always happens in the movies, right? he thought crazily. Yeah, sure, Mister Fuyutsuki will come around that corner and say something like, 'What's all this racket?' and everyone will look embarrassed, and I'll just sneak away… yeah…

Fuyutsuki did not come around the corner.

"Boy this just keeps getting better."

So saying, Asuka threw her hands up in the air and rounded on Rei once more.

"Talk, Wondergirl," she snapped. "What the hell gives you the right to go live with my Kaji?"

Shinji, thankful that he was not the focus of Asuka's anger, shrank back against the wall, hoping he would be forgotten. Hikari, he noticed, was staring at the floor with the most confused expression he had ever seen, while Rei… simply stared at Asuka.

"What?" the redhead demanded. "What are you staring at?"

Don't, Shinji thought suddenly, Ayanami… don't…!

Rei, it seemed, did not hear him – not surprising as he did not speak his warning out loud.

"I was under the impression that if Mister Kaji was anyone's possession, it would be Major Katsur-"

Hikari and Shinji flinched as Asuka lashed out, backhanding Rei hard enough to send her reeling into the wall.

"Bitch!"

Turning on her heel, Asuka bowed her head.

"Hikari," she said hollowly, "you can be my friend, or you can be hers. Choose now."

Hikari looked pained as Asuka started to walk away, glancing from one Child to the next until she was staring into Rei's eyes. "I'm sorry," she croaked, turning abruptly and racing after Asuka as if catching her meant the difference between life and death.

The hall fell silent once more, as Rei slowly brought her hand up to cover her cheek.

A matching set, Shinji thought suddenly, not knowing if this thought should make him laugh or cry as he stared at the First's already bruising cheek.

"Will you stay…?"

He flinched as Rei addressed him, keeping her eyes downcast as she spoke.

Feeling a bit sick, he realized that since Asuka's departure, he had taken several steps backward. "If… if you want me to," he replied unevenly.

He made no move to join her.

"I do."

Rei straightened, turning towards Shinji and closing the distance between them until she was standing at his side. Silently, she leaned against the corner where the two halls met, holding her hands out in front of her for some time as Shinji fidgeted at her side.

"Why," she said finally, "are relationships so difficult…?"

"I d-don't know," Shinji stammered, averting his eyes. "I don't know, Ayanami."

He brought his eyes up in amazement, though, as Rei spoke once more.

"I have been, by turns, too forceful, and too timid in my dealings with others, Shinji. I have tried too hard with some, while not trying hard enough with others. I cannot seem to find the balance, no matter how I try, and it always ends up with me on the losing end of the battle."

This, Shinji thought, was rather a profound statement – and not something he ever expected to hear from the reclusive First Child.

…She called me Shinji, though.

Rei lifted her gaze. "You are blushing."

Shinji touched his cheek. "Er, I… y-yeah…"

He could think of nothing else to say.

"Do you like me, Shinji?"

Caught off guard, Shinji blurted the truth.

"…I don't know."

Rei's hands fell to her sides. "Do you think," she said softly, "that you would be offended… if I said I like you?"

Shinji felt as if his guts were being clenched in a vise.

"N-no," he whispered, "I don't think I'd be offended."

"…I'm glad."

They stood in silence for a minute, staring at one another as if expecting something magical to happen. "So what now?" Shinji finally wondered, sticking his hands into his pockets as Rei considered the question.

"I…" she said hesitantly, "have no idea…"

"Oh…"

Slowly, Rei touched her cheek. "I will need to explain myself to Mister Kaji again," she said quietly.

Shinji glanced at her. "Why?"

Rei shrugged. "He is concerned for my wellbeing." She looked into Shinji's eyes. "Much as Major Katsuragi seems concerned for yours."

Pursing his lips, Shinji muttered, "She doesn't care about me… all she cares about is having a pilot."

"I see," Rei mused. "I was mistaken, then. It appeared to me that she was genuinely worried about you when you were recovered following the incident with the twelfth angel."

"Mm," Shinji grunted, offering no formal reply.

It was far easier, after all, to believe that someone was using you rather than admit to yourself that they might actually care.

"May I give you something?"

Shinji blinked, looking up as Rei stepped away from the wall. "Sure," he said slowly, "what is it?"

Carefully, Rei placed her hands on Shinji's shoulders, leaned in, and pressed her lips lightly against his cheek.

"…oh."

"I… would like to spend more time with you, Shinji."

Blushing furiously, Shinji replied, "Y-yeah."

It was odd, Shinji thought as the blue-haired girl stepped back, but he was not blushing from her proximity… he was blushing because in his mind, he could imagine how it would look if his father happened to find them like this. It would not occur to him until later that maybe thinking of one's father while being kissed by a pretty girl might not exactly be the healthiest mindset – especially when you were trying to decide if you liked the girl or not.

As it was, he simply returned the gesture, offering Rei a delicate, almost ritualistic kiss just under the bruise Hikari had given her the night before.

The symbolism, of course, was lost on both of them.

Continued…