Sports Night
When Casey Dumped Sally
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"You want to know why I stopped sleeping with Sally?" Casey McCall asked his partner and best friend one afternoon as they ate their lunch.
Dan shrugged, "I figured you just got tired of her."
"No," Casey told him simply and definitively, coming around the desk where he had been sitting and shutting the door of the office they shared. He grabbed the styrofoam container with the remnants of his sandwich and joined Dan on the couch.
"Well," Casey continued. "I was getting tired of her, but that's not why."
"What does any of this have to do with the new Jason Giambi action figure?" Dan asked, since that was what they had been mocking before Casey's abrupt change of subject.
"This is between you and me, right?"
"Of course."
"Seriously, Danny, this is just between us."
"Okay." He shifted in his seat to face Casey who was facing him from the other end of the couch. He popped a potato chip into his mouth.
"Well, okay, you know, we weren't, you know, serious. It was just, well, you know – rebound sex."
"Yeah," Dan said non-commitally, curious how sex with Sally might involve a Jason Giambi action figure, while at the same time, not really sure he wanted to know.
"Okay, so, usually we'd end up at her place, but the last time, well, we didn't actually --, you know, that night, but we were going to –"
"Got it."
"Anyway, we were at my place, and we were, you know, getting into things a little bit and why are you laughing?"
"I'm not laughing!"
"You're fighting not to laugh."
"True. But, my god, Casey, how did you ever manage to become a father when you have this much trouble talking about sex?"
"I'm more of a 'doer', okay?"
"Okay." Danny consciously wiped the grin from his face. "How does sex with Sally relate to Jason Giambi?"
"Can I just tell the story?"
"Okay."
Casey took a large bite of his roast beef sandwich and chewed it slowly. Dan was going to be punished for a minute, he decided. Damn, it was a good sandwich. How was it that Dan was able to scope out the best places to eat no matter where they were? He'd always been able to do that.
"Well?"
Casey took the time to wipe the corners of his mouth with his paper napkin, partly because of the good manners his mother had drilled into him and partly just to make Dan wait a few seconds more. Mostly to make Dan wait.
"Okay, so, like I said, we ended up at my place, things were going along nicely, and we decided to move it into the bedroom—"
"Where were you?"
"In the living room, on the couch."
"You never did it on this couch, did you?"
"No."
"Okay, continue."
Casey sighed his disapproval at being interrupted. "So, like I said, she'd never been to my place and didn't know where the bedroom was so I told – 'end of the hall', right? So, we're kissing and groping and you know, saying all that stuff that's sexy at the time but the same words in any other time or place are just stupid as hell, you know –"
Dan chuckled. "Know it well, my friend."
"So, we get to the end of the hall and she opens the door to Charlie's room instead of mine, but, she'd never been there, so - anyway, I tell her – 'that's my son's room'. And she starts trying to drag me in there."
"Into Charlie's room?"
"Yeah, and I told her 'no, my bed's a lot bigger.' And it's true, but really the idea of sex in my son's room wasn't working at all for me."
"Do you have a queen or a king size?"
"Queen."
"Me, too. Oh, sorry, continue."
"And she says, 'we could have a lot more fun in here, coming up with new uses for the toys.' She was completely serious, too."
"Please don't tell me you used Jason Giambi in some manner contrary to package instructions."
"No! Of course not! That's why I dumped her, because she wanted to and you really don't want to know how, trust me."
"No, I don't think I do," Dan said sitting up a bit straighter and squirming a bit as his mind automatically flashed onto possibilities.
"Charlie doesn't have a Jason Giambi action figure but he does have some other action figures and ewww," Casey physically shuddered at the memory of what Sally had proposed.
"Even if she hadn't been talking about my son's toys," Casey went on, "I'm not a prop kinda guy. Some nice lingerie, sure –"
"Of course," Dan agreed.
"But I draw the line at props. I like it straightforward, just me and her."
"And a nice teddy."
"Sure, absolutely. But nothing too complicated. The more ties and snaps and buckles and what have you, the less sexy it is."
"Yeah, lingerie is nice." Buckles? Dan shook his head. "You know what I like sometimes, though?"
"What?"
"A nice, crisp, full length white cotton nightgown."
"Really?" Really? Casey was surprised. Dan was so much more outgoing and risk-taking than he was, he was surprised that he would like something so simple and, well, plain.
"Yeah, the kind with the little ruffles on the collar and cuffs, maybe a little embroidery of flowers across here," Dan said indicating his chest. "And, like, twenty buttons down the front."
"Really?"
"Yes. It's extremely feminine, don't you think? And then there's the whole 'unwrapping a present you were just aching for' aspect to it."
"Okay. I can see that." And he did, after all, Lisa used to wear this one particular flannel nightshirt that always drove him crazy, it was so soft under his hands. It still seemed kind of tame for Dan though.
"Red satin is very nice, too. Royal blue, though -"
"Excellent."
"Yes."
The two men went back to eating their lunches for awhile, each lost in their own memories of lingerie they had enjoyed.
Dan broke the silence. "I always found the food thing overrated."
"What?" Casey coughed out, choking on a corn chip.
"I mean, I like whipped cream and chocolate sauce as much as the next guy, but, I find the novelty of it wears off pretty quick and then it's just sticky."
"Yes, it is."
Just then, Natalie popped her head into the office. "Are you guys coming to the rundown? We're all waiting for you."
"Right. Sorry," Dan said as the two men rose from the couch.
Grabbing some notes from the desk, Casey followed him to the conference room.
"So what about other foods, then?" he asked as they joined the group around the table.
"A little red wine once in awhile isn't too bad," Dan told him.
"Pinot Noir?"
"No, can't stand pinot noir. But a good merlot is nice."
"Interesting."
"Oh, I love pinot noir," Dana put in. "With a nice thick slice of prime rib. Once in awhile."
Dan and Casey looked quickly at one another and struggled unsuccessfully to not start laughing. Casey laughed into his fist while Dan lay his forehead down on the table and covered his head with his hands.
"What about with pasta and a red sauce?" Kim asked.
This only brought forth more laughter from the anchors, their bodies actually shaking as they tried unsuccessfully to control their laughter.
"Are you two alright?" Isaac asked them.
Casey regained enough control to be able to speak first. "Yeah." Casey chuckled. "Let's just not talk about food anymore?" He chuckled again. "Please."
"Okay," Dana said. "Back to business. Jeremy –"
"Yes?"
"What do we know about Jason Giambi?"
Dan's head snapped up and he looked at Casey. Casey looked at Dan.
The two men shot from the room roaring with laughter they couldn't begin to control.
"What did I say?" Dana asked.
End.
03-04-06