Disclaimer: see chapter 1.

Folded Wings

By Random1377

Chapter 19

Kaji woke with a start, blinking in the darkness of his room as he tried to figure out what had woken him. It had been a ragged few weeks, what with Unit 01's situation, Asuka's breakdown, and the unpleasant simultaneous breakups with Maya and Misato, so he had not been getting much sleep lately.

The presence of another body in his bed made it fairly easy to figure out what had disturbed his slumber.

You've gotta be kidding me, he thought incredulously, noting the undeniable presence of bare breasts pressing lightly into his side.

"Rei?"

"…yes?"

"Where are your clothes…?"

Rei shifted, brushing practically her entire body against him as she raised her head. "In the other room," she said quietly, "I felt they would get in the way."

"Of?"

"Seducing you."

Anyone else uttering these words in that tone would have sent Kaji into a laughing fit… but as far as he knew, Rei did not have a sense of humor, so this was decidedly not a joke.

"Go get back in bed, Rei," he muttered, trying to pretend that the feel of her lithe body was not affecting him. "And don't try to seduce me while I'm taking a nap – at least have the courtesy to wait until I wake up!"

"I have been thinking, Ryouji," Rei began.

"Don't," Kaji said darkly, "you're not that good at it."

"…and I have come to the conclusion," the girl went on as if she had not heard him, "that I would very much like to experience sexual intercourse."

Kaji ground his teeth in annoyance. "And this has what to do with me?"

Rei met his eyes. "You are… far more experienced than me," she said carefully.

"Gee, thanks – now get in your own damn bed!"

"I would… be honored if you were my first, Ryouji…"

Slapping a hand over his eyes (the right one – the left was under Rei's shapely waist) Kaji groaned. "It's like you don't listen," he grumbled, "you know I can't be with you, Rei, so stop asking!"

"Major Katsuragi and Miss Ibuki are no longer hindrances," Rei pointed out. "And Ikari's return is… questionable. Therefore, there is no one that would be harmed by us being intimate."

Kaji shook his head.

"Just because you can do something doesn't mean you should," he said quietly. "I already told you, Rei… I can't be with you."

Rei considered this for a moment. "Then… am I unattractive to you?"

"No," Kaji replied immediately, "I didn't say that… but relationships aren't just built on attraction."

"We are… companionable, aren't we?" Rei said slowly. "If I am attractive to you, and you enjoy my company… why won't you consent to be involved with me?"

Kaji rubbed his eyes. "We're going in circles," he said. "Listen, Rei, the bottom line here is that a relationship between us wouldn't work out, plain and simple. I think you're a very nice, very attractive young woman… but we will never be more than roommates, coworkers, or friends. Now I'm more than willing to be your friend – Hell, I'll be your best friend, if you want me to – but an emotional or physical relationship is absolutely out of the question."

For the first time Kaji could remember, Rei looked confused. "But I… don't understand why…"

"Life's like that sometimes," he said bluntly. "You don't always get an explanation, things don't always make sense, and more often than not, you don't get what you want." Sighing, he looked at his watch. "Look," he murmured, "I have an appointment I have to get to. I'm sorry, Rei… but this is the last thing I'll say on this subject – I will not be anything more than your friend. Do you understand?"

Slowly, Rei nodded.

"Good," Kaji said firmly, slipping out of bed and casting around for his pants. "Now, I do want to be your friend, Rei, so when I get back, let's go do something fun, alright? With our clothes on. As friends."

Rei nodded again, though she did not look him in the eyes as he finished dressing.

Sighing, Kaji reached out and put a hand on her head, gently ruffling her hair. "You're cute, Rei," he said lightly, "but you're a handful. I shouldn't be gone long."

"Alright."

Giving her one last pat, Kaji started towards the door. "Be good," he said, waving over his shoulder as he stepped out of the apartment, "and try to think of something fun for us to do."

( 0 0 0 )

Kaji checked his watch for the hundredth time in five seconds – or what felt like it, anyway – and found that the second hand seemed to have stopped. No, he thought dismally, it's just me… damn it, where the hell-

He cut the thought off sharply.

It would do no good to worry about where his contact was… he would just have to be patient.

"Good material," huh? he thought. It damn well better be, Asahina!

The meeting place they had agreed on was dingy and stark, with only a lazily turning fan to break the monotonous, uniformly blank walls of concrete.

"Maya would hate this place," he mused. "Katsuragi too…"

He shook his head. Really screwed everything up this time, didn't you? he thought. Getting caught with another woman is one thing… getting caught with another woman by Katsuragi is another. He scowled at the door his contact should have come through half an hour prior. I'm lucky I still have the equipment to cheat on anyone, after the way she treated me.

He shifted uncomfortably in remembrance of the pain the hotheaded operations director had visited upon him.

"Bet Rei wouldn't mind an emasculated guy," he muttered darkly. "That girl… I swear. Throwing herself at me left and right – as if I'd ever break down and sleep with her."

But you WOULD, he thought brutally. If she was older – just three years, or even two… don't even pretend you wouldn't do it.

"Yeah, ok," he whispered to himself. "God, much more of this and I might do it anyway."

He could still remember the feel of her naked body up against his, and remembering her soft, faint fragrance was as easy as closing his eyes and taking a breath.

And going to jail for a long time would be as easy as laying a single hand on one of those scrumptious little tits, he reminded himself forcefully. It doesn't matter how mature she SEEMS, she's still fourteen. Yeah, so she's fourteen with a killer body that just happens to keep 'incidentally' bringing up sex, and she's offered it twice already – flat out – but she's still just fourteen. Other than her age, I really don't have an excuse since things with Maya and Katsuragi went south, and I-

He straightened slightly, pushing the thoughts aside as the door slowly creaked open.

"Hey," he called lightly. "…you're late."

( 0 0 0 )

Rei glanced at the clock. It read ten past midnight. Kaji had been gone for exactly four hours, fifty-three minutes, and sixteen seconds.

Not that Rei was keeping count, or anything.

She blinked slowly, yawning as she finally allowed herself to realize how tired she was getting. The evening, it seemed, was a bust – all the way around. From her failed seduction to her attempt to concentrate on her studies, nothing had quite worked out the way she had wanted.

Kaji, it seemed, was beyond her reach. She understood, now, that his reluctance to be intimate with her was not something she could overcome, and though she was loathe to admit it… it probably was for the best.

It is unfortunate, though, she mused, of all of my… affections, his was the clearest. With Hikari and Shinji, I felt the need to be with them… but I did not know exactly what I would gain from their company. With Ryouji, it was clearly sexual attraction fused with appreciation for helping me rise above myself. There is no one else to whom I would unhesitatingly give my-

She looked up suddenly as a small draft caressed the back of her neck.

The front door was open. Kaji was home.

"Welcome home," she whispered, rising to her feet and preparing to explain that she was now ready to be friends.

But it was not Kaji standing in apartment.

"Commander."

"Rei."

The two regarded each other in silence for several moments before Rei finally managed to ask the obvious question.

"What are you doing here?"

"I've come to inform you that you can return home now," Gendou said calmly. "There is no longer any reason for you to stay here."

Rei stared at the man for a moment, attacking his statement with her mind and trying to unravel the possible hidden meanings or subtexts.

Ultimately, she decided there were too many, and simply replied, "You authorized my transfer to this location, Commander… I would like to stay."

Pushing his glasses further up his nose, Gendou glanced around the apartment. "There is no longer any reason for you to stay here," he repeated, bringing his eyes back to hers. "Must I spell things out for you, Rei?"

Rei took a deep breath.

It didn't need to be spelled out… but she clarified anyway.

"Mister Kaji…?"

"…he will not be returning."

Staring down at the floor, Rei whispered, "I was under the impression that you were grateful to him for saving Sub-commander Fuyutsuki. Were there other circumstances that mitigated your favor, Commander?"

"You know I would never discard a tool I still had a use for," Gendou said calmly. "No, Rei, I didn't have anything to do with this."

Rei stared at the floor for a long moment before slowly raising her eyes. "He is not a tool."

Gendou studied the apartment for a moment before murmuring, "Semantics."

Pursing her lips, Rei began to reply, but instead of pursing the issue, she asked something that had been concerning her for some time.

"Why did you allow me to stay here, Commander?"

"I would have thought that would be obvious," Gendou said dismissively.

"I… do not grasp your reasoning," Rei confessed. "Will you explain it to me?"

Looking mildly annoyed, Gendou simply asked, "What is your primary reason for living?"

"Complementation," Rei replied immediately.

"And has living here changed that?"

"…no."

"There you have it."

Rei wet her lips. "If it had…?" she whispered. "What then?"

"I think you know," the commander said coolly. "Don't you?"

The answer, Rei realized, was rather obvious.

"You would have replaced me."

Rather than answer, Gendou simply continued to take in the décor. After several minutes of quiet, he said, "You will be staying here, then?"

Rei glanced around. "May I?"

"Provided you remember your obligations."

"Understood."

"Have you eaten?"

"No sir…"

"Would you like to?"

Considering this for a moment, Rei finally whispered, "I believe that I would rather not, Commander… may I join you tomorrow instead?"

Gendou seemed unsurprised by this decision. "Yes, Rei, that will be fine. Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Commander."

As the door swung shut, Rei turned to regard the apartment. She had never really believed in the power of a person's presence to alter a space, but in looking around, things definitely seemed emptier. Somehow, knowing that Kaji would never lounge on his couch, or sip a beer at the table, or pat her on the head and complain what a nuisance she was, made the apartment feel cool and vacant.

Standing perfectly still, she considered what would happen next. She would still honor her obligations, of course – the Commander had made it clear that he would just replace her if she did not – but perhaps, if she could straighten her relationships out, she might find contentment in her own existence?

Perhaps.

Glancing at the clock, Rei decided that nothing more could be accomplished with her being as tired as she was. She looked at the door to Kaji's bedroom… but while he would never be returning to it, she knew without a doubt that she would still be sleeping on the couch.

It just seemed like the proper thing to do.

She took a step towards the couch, but hesitated, an unexpected tremor of sadness running through her as the echo of Kaji's voice whispered against her eardrum.

Moving slowly, Rei made her way back to the apartment's front door… and slowly engaged the bolt.

Continued…